You Can Happily ‘Let Go’!

WE HAVE learned that the urge to nurture grown children is not so easily controlled. Releasing them can be difficult. It can mean holding your breath (and tongue) as your children plunge into life. You have to shelve your image of them as cuddly babies and accept them as adults. You need to let them make their own decisions and mistakes, while letting them know you will still be there if they need you.

You will always be a parent and you will never stop caring for or worrying about your children. But your concern should be tempered by your acceptance of their independence and the knowledge that you have trained them and instilled moral values in them. You can be confident they will succeed!

So you need not panic at the specter of the empty nest. Letting go of your children merely opens new vistas, new opportunities, even a chance to put a new spark in your marriage. The house will seem empty for a while. After years of caring for a family, you will have to make some adjustments.

But life has not ended. You have merely come full circle. First there were only you and your mate. Then came children in rapid succession. The years passed quickly, far more quickly than you could ever have imagined. And now, one by one, the youngsters have grown up and left. You are right back where you started; alone with the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. But your mate was there before your children were even conceived and should still be very dear to your heart.

Get reacquainted with your mate. Why, “you can just walk up and kiss your wife by the kitchen sink anytime,” says one father, which “you maybe couldn’t do when the kids were there.” Now you have more time to talk, to travel, to enjoy one another. You may even be able to expand your service to God.

Even widowed or single parents need not be crushed by loneliness. “Do things for others!” urges Carmen. “I could sit in a corner crying over my husband’s death,” she says, “but I’ve learned to keep busy. I look forward to inviting people over and encouraging others.”

‘But I’m afraid my children will forget me!’ you cry. There is no need to feel that way. Alone and struggling to make a living, your children will often think about home and the warm love shown them there. They will make phone calls from time to time and let you know how they are doing. They might even request your sage advice. And occasionally, they will visit; not as much as you would like, but enough to prove they still love you.

Because you have loved your children enough to let them go you really have not lost them. The fire of love you kindled in their hearts will not die out​—unless you smother it. Unselfish love is unbreakable and will grow, regardless of distance. “Love never fails.”​—1 Corinthians 13:8.

One appreciative son, away from home and about to get married, thus assured his parents: “I want you all to know that I love you very much and miss you. But the Bible says that a man will leave his father and his mother. I’m going to do my best to carry on the family name up here and make it a respected name. When Kelly and I become one, we’re going to visit regularly.” And that’s the way it should be.

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Use visits as occasions to show your love for one another

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Get reacquainted with your mate now that you have more time alone