“More Than a Strong Town”

“AT CURRENT rates, about 40% of U.S. children will witness the breakup of their parents’ marriages before they reach 18.” (Science, June 7, 1991) What a frightening statistic! Why does this happen?

Family and probate court judge Edward M. Ginsburg, in an interview with The Boston Globe, gave his view. He said: “We are a selfish society. We want for ‘me.’ We ask, ‘What’s in it for me now?’ We want instant gratification.”

Such immature selfishness leads to bitterness and conflict in marriage. Judge Ginsburg says that when couples finally reach the divorce court, husband and wife want vindication. They want someone to tell them that they’re right and that their partner is wrong. They want someone to say: “You’ve won the battle.”

His words remind us of the inspired proverb: “A brother who is transgressed against is more than a strong town.” (Proverbs 18:19) Yes, when strife breaks out in a marriage, the warring parties can be unreasonable and rigid. Often, they adamantly refuse to make concessions, like “a strong town” under siege.

Do things have to be this way? No, there is an alternative. Marriages are strong and enduring when both parties, right from the start, heed the apostle Paul’s words: “Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) Is it easy to cultivate such qualities? Not always. But how easy is divorce? How painful are the emotional and financial burdens of a broken marriage? And what of the children, who often carry the scars of their parents’ divorce into adult life?

It is far better for both partners to work to preserve a marriage and not to be intransigent toward each other, like “a strong town.” Paul’s counsel to Christians applies especially to married couples: “Clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union.”​—Colossians 3:14.

[Picture Credit Line on page 32]

The Complete Encyclopedia of Illustration/​J. G. Heck