Questions From Readers

How should Jehovah’s Witnesses view using matchmaking websites to find a marriage mate?

Jehovah certainly wants two people who marry to be happy and to enjoy a lasting and close bond with each other. (Matt. 19:4-6) If you wish to marry, how can you find a good marriage mate? As our Creator, Jehovah knows what will lead to success in courtship and marriage. Therefore, if you apply the principles he has given us, you will get the best results. Consider some of those principles.

First, we have to understand this about ourselves: “The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate.” (Jer. 17:9) As a person attempts to find and attract a prospective marriage mate, intense emotions can build up quickly and override sound reasoning. When people base a decision to marry primarily on emotion, they often end up devastated. (Prov. 28:26) That is why it is not wise for two people to express intimate feelings early on in a relationship or to make commitments before they really get to know each other.

Proverbs 22:3 says: “The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself, but the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the consequences.” What could be dangerous about using matchmaking websites? Sadly, some have learned through bitter experience that they were taken advantage of emotionally by the strangers they met online. Also, dishonest people have set up fake accounts to scam naive people out of their money. At times, those who were behind the cruel deceptions claimed to be Witnesses.

Consider an additional risk. Some matchmaking sites use mathematical algorithms, or calculations, that are supposed to match compatible people. However, there is no evidence that such methods really work. Would it be wise to put trust in a man-made formula to ensure the success of something as important as marriage? How can mathematical formulas even begin to compare with Bible principles?​—Prov. 1:7; 3:5-7.

A principle found at Proverbs 14:15 states: “The naive person believes every word, but the shrewd one ponders each step.” Before considering someone as a potential marriage mate, you want to get to know the person well. But meeting online can make that hard to accomplish. Even if you share profiles and spend considerable time exchanging messages, can you really say that you know the person? Some who thought they had found their true love were shocked at what they learned when they finally met the individual in person.

The psalmist said: “I do not associate with deceitful men, and I avoid those who hide what they are.” (Ps. 26:4) Many consider it a common practice to lie on their online dating profiles to make themselves appear more desirable. They may conceal their real character or just not manifest it when presenting themselves online. While some people may identify themselves as Jehovah’s Witnesses, are they really baptized Christians? Are they spiritually mature? Do they have a personal relationship with Jehovah? Are they respected in their congregation? Or might they be poor examples or even “bad associations”? (1 Cor. 15:33; 2 Tim. 2:20, 21) And are they Scripturally free to marry? You need to know these things, but they are difficult to discern without some sort of corroboration from other Witnesses who know the person well. (Prov. 15:22) And, of course, a loyal servant of Jehovah would not even consider being “unevenly yoked” with an unbeliever.​—2 Cor. 6:14; 1 Cor. 7:39.

In view of the risks associated with using matchmaking websites, there are better ways to look for a mate and to develop a relationship that may lead to an honorable marriage. How can you find opportunities to meet a potential mate? When public gatherings are not prohibited, Jehovah’s Witnesses can get acquainted in person while attending congregation meetings, assemblies, conventions, and other gatherings.

When these public gatherings are not possible, such as during the COVID-19 pandemic, we use electronic tools to attend congregation meetings, where there are opportunities to get acquainted with other single Witnesses. You can see how they participate in the meetings and hear their personal expressions of faith. (1 Tim. 6:11, 12) You may also be able to visit with each other in a breakout room after the meetings. Through virtual social gatherings with groups of Witnesses, you can observe how the person you are interested in interacts with other people, and that can reveal the person’s true character. (1 Pet. 3:4) In time, as you get better acquainted, you can determine whether your goals and values are similar and whether the two of you are compatible.

When single people look for a potential marriage mate in ways that harmonize with Bible principles, they are more likely to experience the truth of the proverb that says: “The one who finds a good wife [or husband] has found something good, and he [or she] receives Jehovah’s favor.”​—Prov. 18:22.