Coping With the “Changing Years”
Writer Madeline Gray, who experienced a difficult menopause after a hysterectomy, says: “Your body is a God-given machine. It can do what no man-made machine can do—repair itself. But this repair takes time.” (The Changing Years) The symptoms you experience during the “changing years” are due to the body’s adjusting itself to a new situation. These symptoms may be uncomfortable, but they are not dangerous. So how can they be handled?
Your Doctor Can Help
When symptoms start to appear, it is wise to go to your doctor for a physical checkup, just to be sure. Often, when a woman first enters her “changing years,” she thinks something serious is wrong. One doctor said: “I have often seen the relief on a woman’s face when I told her that she is not sick but just starting the menopause. It really takes a weight off her mind.” It is worth having a checkup with your doctor, just to experience that relief and know that there is nothing seriously wrong.
Then, most authorities recommend having a thorough physical checkup once a year until it is all over. This will help to ensure that things are progressing normally, and no other problems are creeping in under the cover of the menopause.
Look After Yourself
Some women put on weight during this period, but seemingly that does not have to happen. For one thing, eating less food containing animal fats will help a woman to keep her weight down, and there are health benefits, such as keeping blood cholesterol levels lower. Madeline Gray insists: “A woman does not just naturally get fat during the menopause. And if she does, there is something she can do about it.” She goes on to say: “You may . . . be eating more now out of sheer nervousness. Or boredom. Or as a compensation for other things you miss.” Hence, control your eating habits, and do not allow yourself to gain weight unnecessarily.
During these “changing years,” a woman’s bones tend to lose calcium. Eating foods rich in calcium, along with regular exercise, can help to counteract this. In some cases, it may be advisable to take supplemental calcium too.
Many find it best to keep busy. One woman advised: “Get out of your home for at least part of the day. Get out and do challenging things.” Some recommend walking a little, doing some gardening or some other activity that will serve as exercise. However, do not overdo it and become exhausted. Allow yourself enough sleep at night, and, if you need it, try to schedule a short nap during the day.
If your symptoms are temporarily uncomfortable, you may be interested in what some have recommended to alleviate them. Some women have reported being helped by homeopathic medicine, herbs, acupuncture or chiropractic treatments.
Others have tried taking supplemental vitamins, such as vitamin E. Mary Catherine Tyson suggests that one vitamin B complex tablet a day may help to control hot flashes to some extent—although it will not eliminate them.
But, remember, if your symptoms are really difficult to live with, your doctor can help in a number of ways. He can give you a harmless ointment for that irritating internal itching. He may recommend intermittent use of tranquilizers or mild sedatives for headaches or nervous symptoms. Or he may suggest supplemental hormones or other medicines that can relieve the hot flashes.
Many are nervous about taking tranquilizers or hormones, remembering that such treatment may have side effects, as does any strong medicine. It is wise to be aware of any possible risk if you take these drugs. However, if your symptoms are very uncomfortable, these medicines can give relief, and you have the assurance that the risks are minimized if you have a regular medical checkup and carefully follow your doctor’s instructions while taking them.
Can Others Help?
The experience of one woman suggests that they can. She reports: “There were two boys boarding in the house with me when I was in the menopause. They were fine young men, but they had some irritating habits. One of them used to whistle a lot. I got very irritated with them, and that made me annoyed at myself. So I gave them some literature describing what happens to a woman during menopause and asked them to read it. Afterward I explained: ‘That is what is happening to me.’ After that they were very kind and considerate and wanted to know what they could do to make things easier for me.”
Hence, she suggests: “Let it be a family project. Do not build it up as a sickness, but let the husband and children know what is going on. This will eliminate much misunderstanding. Then, if one day you seem a bit tense, they will think, ‘This is one of Mum’s bad days,’ and help you to get through it.” This will be an especially good time for the other members of the family to apply Paul’s counsel: “Clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, mildness, and long-suffering. Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely.”—Colossians 3:12, 13.
The husband, by helping with the household chores, can also assist his wife to conserve her strength and feel better about things. He might suggest going out for a meal occasionally, or in some other way make a pleasant break in the daily routine. And he should remember that this is not the best time to tease his wife about personal things. Rather, this is the time to deal with her ‘according to knowledge, assigning her honor.’—1 Peter 3:7.
You Can Help Yourself
However, your own mental attitude is the most important thing. Madeline Gray says: “Whatever happens, time and nature are on your side. There will be spontaneous improvement in a few months, or at most, a few years.” Hence, be patient. And to help you be patient, cultivate self-control. Do not give in to every emotion or feeling. Force yourself to do things that you may inwardly rebel against for no good reason. When you feel suddenly irritated, quietly leave the room rather than burst out in anger.
A woman who has already been guiding her life by the principles of the Bible has a decided advantage at this time. She knows that self-control is a fruit of God’s spirit: “The fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22) If she has been cultivating this quality during her life, it will stand her in good stead during the menopause.
The Highest Source of Help
The Christian woman has access to the greatest source of help. She can petition Jehovah God in prayer and ask him for the needed strength during these “changing years.” The Bible assures her that “never will [God] allow the righteous one to totter.” (Psalm 55:22) Thus, “throw all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.”—1 Peter 5:7.
Jesus Christ once said: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.” (Acts 20:35) A Christian woman who has already made helping others a part of her life—especially helping them to study and get to know the Bible—will be greatly blessed by this good practice. It will take her mind off her own problems and help her to accomplish things of real value. Together with her own private Bible study and association with fellow Christians, it will do much toward giving her the spiritual strength she now needs.
Hence, if you are nearing the age of menopause, do not be unduly concerned. Remember that the majority of women pass through this period with only minor difficulty.
If you are now experiencing the problems of menopause, meet them head on without fear, coping with each one as it confronts you. Remember, time is on your side. And after it is all over, life can be even better than before. Listen to this comment from a woman whose “changing years” have just finished: “I feel better than ever before. I don’t have the monthly pain or emotional upset. In many ways, after this time you can look forward to a more restful time.”
While it lasts, keep busy with things that will work for your upbuilding. Have a regular medical checkup to make sure things are progressing smoothly. And, even more important, consult the wisdom that comes from God himself, as the Creator of mind and body surely knows what your spiritual and emotional needs are during your “changing years.”
[Blurb on page 19]
An experienced woman recommended: “A woman who learns to relax will get through this time more easily”
[Pictures on page 20]
There are many things a woman may be able to do to help herself
Show hospitality
Fill your mind with good things
Do things for others
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There are many things that can be done to help a woman during this time
Show affection
Husband and children can help with housework
Occasionally do something different