Meet Valérie​—A Little Girl With an Extra Chromosome

“‘CONGRATULATIONS! Not a single mistake in dictation! Your arithmetic is coming along too! If you continue to progress like that, you’ll move up a class next year.’

“What’s so special about that, especially for a 12-year-old girl who’s already two years behind in school? Yet papa, maman, my brother and friends are all overjoyed. You see, I suffer from Down’s syndrome,a so life is not always easy for my family and me. But I will let papa tell the story.”

On February 6, 1971, the birth of our little daughter went off well in a private hospital in Meudon-la-Forêt, a suburb southwest of Paris, France. We were particularly happy to have a baby girl, for we already had a boy of nearly four. The baby, however, was small and underweight. The doctor decided to send her to a pediatric hospital in Paris.

The next day a doctor in this hospital asked to see me. What did he want? Although 13 years have gone by, his opening words are still engraved on my mind: “Your baby daughter is afflicted with Trisomy 21 [Down’s syndrome] and may not live very long. Many such children die within their first five years. Whatever the outcome, she will be handicapped for life.”

Our Reaction

In the bus on the way to the maternity hospital to see my wife, the realization of what all of this would mean in our life began to dawn on me: How would my wife take the news? How would I break it to her? Would my little daughter ever be able to walk? Would she be able to understand me one day? What about schooling? How would her brother react? These and other thoughts only increased my anguish.

I must say, my wife took the news very bravely. But we wondered just how our family and friends would react. After all, when a new baby is born, what’s the first thing relatives, friends and neighbors do? Why, they come to visit and admire the baby. And the father and mother are so proud to hear exclamations such as: “What a beautiful little baby!” But suppose the baby has Down’s syndrome? Imagine how the parents feel when they take the baby out and well-meaning people lean over the baby carriage all ready to compliment them on their offspring . . . and then just give an understanding smile.

My wife and I must admit that for a short while we suffered from feelings of shame, even failure. Every time other parents would talk to us about their baby’s progress it just added to the pain. The unrelenting reality constantly hit home: Our child would never be exactly like other children. However, we knew that the Bible says that children “are an inheritance from Jehovah; the fruitage of the belly is a reward.” (Psalm 127:3) We were determined to do everything in our power to help our little girl Valérie, and she has truly proved to be a “reward”​—thanks to her fine qualities and the love she has shown us.

Adjustments

Needless to say, Valérie’s birth brought great changes in our family life. This was definitely not a time for self-pity. We were determined to do all we possibly could for Valérie. First, my wife gave up her job. The extra time she spent at home proved to be a blessing for both our children.

Apart from her facial traits, Valérie had other characteristics of Down’s syndrome that can cause problems. Her ear and nose passages were very narrow, but after a thorough examination the doctors assured us that her hearing would be normal. We also feared a heart ailment, for this too is a frequent complication. But Valérie’s heart was fine and we were told that she would be able to run, play games and take part in sports like other children. How relieved we were to hear that!

Nonetheless, when Valérie was nine months old, we noticed that she could hardly move her arms or legs and she couldn’t sit up on her own. We realized that we couldn’t just wait for things to happen. We had to do something. So my wife started short gymnastics sessions, teaching her to stand and to hold her head straight. This proved most effective, for Valérie learned to stand straight, and by 18 months of age she was able to walk!

Valérie had also developed, although innocently, the bad habit of sticking her tongue out, which was hardly attractive for a young lady! So we took steps to remedy this, giving her a little tap under the chin each time she did it. As a French proverb puts it: “You have to suffer if you want to be beautiful.” Before long, a mere look sufficed for her to put her tongue in. Although simple, our method proved effective, for she no longer sticks her tongue out​—unless she does so deliberately, in which case she gets a scolding!

“I Will Do It!”

After a while the gymnastics sessions were no longer enough, for Valérie lacked balance and was unable to run properly. Skipping was a real challenge for her too. She tried and tried without success. We would often hear her in a corner of the yard saying to herself, “One, two​—no, that’s not right!” Sometimes she would throw the skipping rope on the ground and start to cry. Then, picking it up again, we would hear her say, “I will do it!” With our help, her courage and perseverance won out in the end. Now she regularly plays with other little girls, skipping with an elastic loop held by two playmates.

Psychomotility courses have also helped Valérie to synchronize her movements. However, after two years we replaced them with ballet lessons at a dancing school. This further taught her to develop her sense of balance. She enjoys dancing and even took part, along with the other pupils, in a public ballet given at the end of the school year. Several doctors and psychiatrists were present, unbeknown to us, to witness her feats.

Now she’s learning to ride a bicycle and is getting on fine. Her physical appearance is also improving as her mental capacities progress. In fact, now her handicap sometimes even passes unnoticed by strangers!

Schooling

When the time came to send Valérie to school, a question arose: Should we send her to a regular school or to a specialized institute? Some specialists advised the latter, backing up their opinion with seemingly justifiable arguments: She would be better taken care of and would mix better with classmates who were similarly handicapped.

This may be true for some children, but we chose to send Valérie to a regular school. You see, we felt that, like other youngsters, our handicapped child would imitate those around her. So we thought that contact with normal children would be beneficial for Valérie, and this turned out to be true.

We also wanted her to be in a regular school in order to make the most of an advantage that many children with Down’s syndrome have​—a good memory. Valérie’s memory for names is astonishing. In fact, when we can’t remember someone’s name, we often turn to Valérie! She can usually remember, even if she hasn’t seen the person for months or years. Her good memory proved to be an asset to her in school.

Of course, it has been necessary for us to win the teachers’ cooperation, and this hasn’t always been easy. Twice Valérie has had problems adjusting, which explains why she’s two years behind in her schooling. On the whole, her teachers have cooperated, and this has proved invaluable.

For example, at the end of nursery school, we asked Valérie’s teacher if she would be so kind as to concentrate on Valérie’s reading. She was an experienced teacher nearing retirement age, and she kindly replied: “I will do all I can. If Valérie doesn’t make it this year, she will do so next year.” How happy we were when our daughter learned to read in a few months, catching up with the other children in her class! Such devotion on the part of teachers is, oh, so appreciated!

Parents Are in the Best Position to Help

From our own experience we learned that the parents are the best ones to decide what is appropriate for their children. With Down’s syndrome, children are retarded​—to a greater or lesser degree. No one is able to detect from the outset the extent of the handicap, so it is up to the parents to start giving a good general education early, as they would with other children. As the child develops, its weaknesses become evident, and the parents can then act accordingly. In Valérie’s case, we found it very advantageous to enlist the help of a qualified speech therapist. This lady helped Valérie to pronounce words correctly and to speak clearly. She also helped her to put her thoughts and feelings into writing and showed her how to follow a normal conversation, which, for Valérie, was no easy task.

It was obvious to us that, above all else, our daughter needed a loving home rather than a specialized institution. As the Grande Encyclopédie explains: “Later acquirements [in both mental and physical fields] are largely dependent on the care and attention the handicapped child receives.” How true! The family circle is, in our opinion, the very best place for this “care and attention” to be given.

Life at Home

Every evening we check on the day’s schooling, going over Valérie’s progress in arithmetic, French grammar (especially the verbs) and reading​—where she now excels!

Our older son, Laurent, has done much to help his sister. From the age of four he realized that Valérie didn’t have the same reactions as other little girls did, and she behaved differently. We explained the problem, and he quite understood. This strengthened him in his determination to show her even more love.

When his sister mispronounced a word, Laurent would hasten to repeat it correctly. Or when she didn’t understand something, he would explain it in great detail. He always included her in group games with others, and if anyone made fun of Valérie, he promptly tried to put things right for her!

One day the children at school started making fun of Valérie’s slanting eyes. Laurent promptly went to see them and explained that they wouldn’t appreciate that sort of treatment if they were in her place. Although only ten years old at the time, he explained to them that Valérie’s situation could not be changed, “just like black, white or yellow people can’t change their skin color, but no one should make fun.”

Today the children are older and homelife seems a little easier. Everyone shares in the household chores. Valérie can make her bed, sweep the floor and set the dinner table as well as any of us. She even bakes cakes, carefully following recipes to the letter.

We have endeavored to put the Bible’s good counsel into practice, giving our children Bible education from a very early age, as the Scriptures recommend. Valérie regularly studies along with her mother and prepares for the Christian meetings that we attend each week, like all of Jehovah’s Witnesses worldwide.​—2 Timothy 3:15; Hebrews 10:24, 25.

Christian Activities

Valérie is enrolled in a school designed to train Jehovah’s Witnesses in their public Bible educational work. When her turn comes around, she holds a five-minute conversation on a Bible theme with another person. Afterward, a Christian elder gives her helpful counsel, which has helped her to express herself better. Valérie accompanies us in preaching the good news of God’s Kingdom to others. (Matthew 24:14) My wife and I have been full-time ministers for several years now, and Valérie regularly comes along with us when she’s not at school.

One of the areas where we carried out our preaching activity was in the region of the Pyrenees Mountains, near the border between France and Spain. Valérie was a great help in encouraging people to study the Bible with us. As they warmed up to her, their distrust for us strangers gradually went away. In this way we were able to start a number of productive Bible studies. One was with Valérie’s speech therapist. Another was with one of her schoolteachers and her family. All of these now share Valérie’s hope of living forever in God’s New Order, where all disabilities will disappear.​—Revelation 21:3-5.

I must add that Valérie herself loves this Christian activity. Her main goals at present are to learn to be a good cook and to become a full-time preacher like her mother and me.

Thirteen years have passed by, but I haven’t forgotten my prayer to Jehovah upon learning that our daughter was born handicapped. I prayed for the necessary strength to break the news to my wife and to face up to this challenge in the years to come. Jehovah didn’t hold back his loving aid. Of course, he didn’t miraculously heal our little girl, nor did we pray for such healing. But he has constantly been our Guide.

We realize that we have simply passed the halfway mark as far as the children’s education is concerned. They are now in the delicate teenage years. So we pray that Jehovah will continue to help us as he has done up until now, in order that we may prove equal to the important task ahead. Now I’ll let Valérie conclude our story.

“Well, papa has finished our story, but I would like to say that I too am looking forward to Jehovah’s Kingdom. I can’t wait for the time when handicaps like mine will be no more, and we will be happy in God’s Paradise!”​—Contributed.

[Footnotes]

[Blurb on page 22]

‘Your baby daughter is afflicted with Down’s syndrome and may not live very long’

[Blurb on page 22]

Sometimes she would throw the skipping rope on the ground and cry. Then, picking it up again, she would say, “I will do it!”

[Blurb on page 23]

It was obvious to us that, above all, our daughter needed a loving home, not a specialized institution

[Blurb on page 24]

Valérie’s goals are to learn to be a good cook and to become a full-time preacher