How to Cope With Unemployment
YOU TWINGE at the cutting words: ‘I’m sorry, we are going to have to lay you off.’ Then a sense of desperation sets in. Fears about the future grip you. Bleak work prospects only add to the already overwhelming feelings of helplessness and frustration. Facing each new day becomes a nightmare. An unrelenting sense of shame hovers like a dark cloud.
For a growing segment of the population, the prospect of facing such a situation is very real. For many others it is already a hard fact. It cuts across all races, ages and economic levels without mercy, affecting increasing numbers who never before thought they would be involuntarily jobless. The consequences can leave lasting marks on individuals and families long after the job problem has been solved. Can anything be done to cope?
Your Frame of Mind
First of all, you need to maintain a positive outlook. If potential employers note your negative disposition, they may mark you as a loser and wrongly conclude that you are unsuitable for employment. So do not overreact or let yourself be overwhelmed. It is not the end of the road. Take comfort from the fact that your joblessness is not unique. Of course, losing your job can be one of life’s most traumatic experiences. But if you are still alive and have some assets, all is not lost.
You can fight fear and anxiety. They cause negative feelings that gnaw away at your self-confidence. Be aware of the pitfall of self-blame. (‘Something must be wrong with me! I’m useless! Why is he working and I’m not?’) Resist the urge to blame others. (‘The boss never did like me!’) Do not view your unemployment as a permanent roadblock, but as one that can be removed even if it will take time.
Some who are unemployed withdraw from family and friends. Don’t be afraid instead to ask for help. Do not hide. If your children are old enough to understand and help, inform them. Seek their cooperation. Talk with others about your feelings, your thoughts and your fears. No one will know what you’re going through unless you talk about it. Welcome the emotional support of people who care about you. An ancient maxim observes: “A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress.” (Proverbs 17:17) If you are a family member or a friend of someone unemployed, are you proving to be such a “true companion” by being empathetic and supportive? Family and friends can help you to overcome the distressful shock of unemployment.
Practical Suggestions
When bills arrive don’t ignore them and pretend the problem will go away. How would you feel if someone who owed you money was evasive and kept you in the dark as to the reason why he was not paying the debt on time? You reap benefits from applying this good counsel: “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you.” (Matthew 7:12, The New English Bible) Therefore, if you cannot pay your bills, talk to your creditors. If you will only communicate with them, they are often willing to work out an alternate repayment plan until you find a regular job again.
Next, take a realistic look at your situation. Start working out plans to use your assets. And, indeed, you have at least one valuable asset—job experience. With that you can start looking for another job.
But first check out what the former job owes you. Do you have severance pay coming? Did you have job insurance? Is unemployment assistance available? Are there other government provisions? Make sure you are aware of all of them. Apply for these if you qualify. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for such aid when you truly need it. For example, is it embarrassing to ask for medical attention when you are injured or not well? Besides, it is likely that such funds exist because of taxes that you and others have paid. So view it as an insurance benefit. What other areas are there to work on?
Eliminate unnecessary expenses: Now, jobless or not, take a look around you and see what must be done to lower or even eliminate costs. This might call for an adjustment in your life-style, but you must realistically deal with the emergency. Here are some suggestions. Try to cut down heating or air-conditioning bills if possible. In some homes this may be done simply by changing the thermostat a few degrees. Also, consider alternate fuels that may be cheaper than your present one.
Some people spend up to $400 per year on cigarettes, $500 a year on alcoholic beverages and $1,500 a year on eating in restaurants. There is much they could do about these costs to help make ends meet!
Families might consider how many TV sets they have. Is it necessary to have more than one on at the same time? Or will not one set do for the family? Many even live without one! How many telephones do you have? Will one suffice? How many cars do you have? What about luxury items? The snowmobile? The trailer? Other recreational equipment? These all create expenses for fuel, repairs and insurance. In addition to reducing costs, the sale of these and other surplus items can restore something to your income.
Food Saving: Families can pool together and make purchases of large quantities of basic foods at wholesale prices and then divide the food among themselves. Look for specials at sales. Buy ‘in season’ and freeze, can or preserve the food. Some buy all their fruit, vegetables, meats and poultry direct from a farmer at great savings. Even more can be saved when you pick your own at some farms. This can also make for a healthy outing for the family. Some farmers are willing to let you glean what is left over after the harvest—at no charge! Check out this possibility.
Some families use their own land, or rent plots of ground where available, and raise all their own vegetables and poultry. Canning and freezing will save money when you have more food than you can consume fresh. If you cannot afford to rent ground, ask farmers, friends and relatives if you may use a small plot of ground free of charge. If your age and health do not permit you to use ground in this way, check your local library on what can be grown in window boxes. You may be surprised at what can be done and what it will save you!
Some mothers have found market gardens and supermarkets throwing away good food on Saturday afternoons because managers felt it might spoil over the weekend. These women made arrangements to pick up this good food before it was thrown out. Others buy day-old bread and other baked goods and freeze what is not needed immediately. Or you may be able to save by baking your own. It all helps.
Reduce Clothing Costs: These can be noticeably reduced by making your own clothes and by trading clothing with other families with growing children. If you do buy some items of clothing, wait for sales. Also, try secondhand stores that handle quality clothes. Often people sell their used goods at what are commonly called in some places flea markets or garage sales. Children quickly outgrow their clothes, so good buys are often available. (Garage or yard sales are also good places for picking up some inexpensive toys for the children.) But shop with care! Only buy what you really need. Guard against impulse buying.
Shelter Savings: Some have had to make the sacrifice of giving up homes with high mortgage payments or rents and moving to more affordable apartments, house trailers or rural homes. Others have had to move in with relatives or friends—if necessary, fixing up portions of the home to accommodate two families. Sometimes this also allowed them to eliminate the cost of operating another automobile. Years ago many families lived this way with great benefit to all. Of course, there will have to be some give and take in such an arrangement. But is there any problem that genuine love cannot conquer? You and the children may discover the joy of living with grandparents in the same home.
Unemployment Offers Opportunities
Although being out of work may be frightening, it can become a blessing in disguise. Proverbs 20:30 says: “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.”—Today’s English Version.
Unemployment brings you an opportunity for self-discovery. It gives you time to reevaluate your life and rethink things. It gives you a chance to focus on your untapped skills and explore a variety of employment options you never had time to think about before. Perhaps you may discover that another line of work would be more suitable and even more enjoyable for you.
Unemployment gives you the opportunity to deepen family relationships. All too often people are just too busy or too tired after a day of hard work to get to know their spouse or children as well as they would like to. Now you can do things with and for family members that you may not have had time for in the past, like cooking a meal or building that extra closet shelf. However, you still want a job. The question is how to find it.
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