From Our Readers
Death of a Loved One
This letter is to thank you for the fine articles on “When Someone You Love Dies.” (April 22, 1985) When my mother died of a terminal disease in January 1984, I suffered many of the grief reactions you discussed. You mentioned that often a letter from a friend can help. This is true. A dear friend wrote a letter expressing sadness for my loss, and it was so encouraging that I have since read that letter many times when I think of my mother. I would like to suggest that after losing a loved one, a person should return to a normal routine as soon as possible. I am busy now in the full-time ministry, and it has helped me tremendously.
A. M., Oklahoma
Thank you for the wonderful information you gave us in the articles “When Someone You Love Dies.” I was raised by my grandmother, and when she died this past January I thought that I was going crazy. Even though I had the hope of her being resurrected, I felt so angry and confused. I was bothered that I, a man, wept openly at the funeral. Since then, I have been torn by feelings of guilt. Your articles are just what I needed. I would like to say one thing to those whose parents are still alive. Tell them you love them, as often as you can. One day you may not be able to.
P. W., New York
Being Just Friends
I completely disagree with your viewpoints in the article “Young People Ask . . . Can a Boy and a Girl ‘Just Be Friends’?” (June 8, 1985) I have many male friends for whom I feel nothing sexually. The Bible says to treat a boy like your brother. You seem to turn this around by stating that it is wrong to have close male friends. I strongly believe that boys and girls can “just be friends.”
D. B., Alabama
Yes, it can be a healthy part of one’s development to have a number of friends of both sexes. The article in question was dealing more specifically with a boy or a girl thinking that he or she could have one close, confidential friend of the opposite sex, a “steady,” and then keep this relationship on a strictly platonic basis. It is unrealistic to believe that one can cultivate such a close friendship with just one of the opposite sex without getting emotionally involved.—ED.
My deepest appreciation for the articles “Young People Ask . . . Can a Boy and a Girl ‘Just Be Friends’?” (June 8, 1985) and “Young People Ask . . . What’s Wrong With Being ‘Just Friends’?” (June 22, 1985) They really opened my mind. If I had had this information a couple of years earlier, I would definitely have been relieved of the emotional turmoil I have now experienced. The problem was that I never remembered to put a boundary where it was needed. But the advice of Proverbs 22:3 definitely will safeguard me now and in the future.
J. L., New York
Thank you for the article “Young People Ask . . . Can a Boy and a Girl ‘Just Be Friends’?” It came just in time. At the moment I am trying to get over the effects of being “burned” because of a one-sided romantic feeling that came from being ‘just good friends’ with one of the opposite sex. It really was an emotional turmoil.
D. G., Arkansas