“The Calabash Is Not Broken”

Grief is manifested in different ways according to the customs and the culture of each nation and tribe. For example, the Yoruba people of Nigeria have a traditional belief in the reincarnation of the soul. So when a mother loses a child, there is intense grief for a short period. However, it is not viewed as the end of the world, for as a Yoruba refrain has it: “It is the water that is spilled. The calabash is not broken.” This means, according to the Yoruba, that the water-​bearing calabash, the mother, can bear another child. Furthermore, according to their belief, the dead child will return as a reincarnation, so any prolonged outward show of grief may delay the mother in having another baby, either her reincarnated child or some other reincarnated person. Thus, the grief is short-​lived and subsequently repressed.

If a twin dies, then some Yoruba mothers will carry about a carved image to represent the dead child. At meals, a plate of food is served for the dead child. When clothes are bought for the live twin, another set is bought for the deceased. This practice goes on indefinitely in the belief that any departure from it will kill off the surviving twin! Of course, those with accurate Bible knowledge do not believe or follow such customs.