“I Want It Now!” The Age of Instant Gratification
Little Johnny’s posture is meant to convey intense suffering, but you find it hard not to laugh. His shoulders are drooping, his knees are rubbery, his steps flat and leaden. His face is a caricature of grief—puckered-up forehead, pleading eyes, and mouth twisted in anguish. He has one thing on his mind: dessert.
“But Mom,” he whines. That is as far as he gets. His mother whirls upon him, bowl and spoon in hand. “For the last time, Johnny, NO!” she says firmly. “If you eat dessert now, you’ll ruin your supper. And we’re eating in 15 minutes anyway!”
“But I want some NOW!” he wails. His mother stops stirring and fixes a glare upon her son. He knows that look; wisely he retreats, to suffer in silence in the next room. Soon distracted, he has forgotten all about eating by the time dinner is ready.
Children at times seem almost enslaved to the moment. When they want something, they want it now. The concept of waiting for a better reward, or of denying themselves a pleasure because it may harm them later, is very hard for them to grasp. Yet, it is a concept they—and all of us by and large—need to learn.
A recent study by scientists at Columbia University in the United States examined the ability of small children to put off gratification for the sake of a desired reward. The children were offered a choice of two treats, the one a little more desirable than the other—say, one cookie versus two. They could have the better treat only if they waited until the teacher returned. However, they could end the wait at any time by ringing a bell, whereupon they would get the lesser treat and lose out on the better one. Scientists recorded their behavior and checked the development of these same children ten years later.
Science magazine reports that the children who more readily delayed gratification fared better as adolescents. They were more competent socially and scholastically and were better able to cope with stress and frustration. Clearly, the ability to delay gratification—to put off getting what we want—is a vital life skill. And it benefits adults as well.
We are all pressed every day to choose between instant and delayed gratification. Some choices seem trivial: ‘Should I eat that piece of cake or count my calories?’ ‘Should I watch TV, or is there something more productive I should do now?’ ‘Should I let loose with that remark or hold my tongue?’ In each case, we have to weigh the lure of instant gratification against more long-range effects. Granted, these may not be earthshaking matters.
More far-reaching are the moral decisions people face: ‘Should I lie to get out of that situation, or should I find an honest and tactful way?’ ‘Should I respond to that flirtation and see what happens, or should I cherish my marriage?’ ‘Should I join the crowd and smoke marijuana, or should I obey the law and protect my body?’ As you have no doubt observed, the course of instant gratification can turn a person’s life into an instant shambles.
As Science magazine put it: “To function effectively, individuals must voluntarily postpone immediate gratification and persist in goal-directed behavior for the sake of later outcomes.” So we will probably not live a good life if we have to gratify our every urge right away.
Nonetheless, we live in a world obsessed with instant gratification, a world that seems run by countless thousands of adult versions of little Johnny, bent on getting what they want now, blind to consequences. Theirs is an attitude that has shaped our modern world, and not for the better.