What Is Happening to Grandparents?

BY AWAKE! CORRESPONDENT IN ITALY

“I did not believe that as a grandfather I could be the object of such tenderness on the part of my grandchildren. They are a gift​—sweet, innocent ambassadors for the strengthening of the bonds of affection.”​—Ettore, the grandfather.

IN SPITE of the above wholesome relationship, grandparents, parents, and grandchildren do not always get along these days. Rather than cooperating, the three generations often clash. With what results? Increasing solitude and unhappiness among the elderly, the grandparents​—those members of the family who are often the most vulnerable and isolated, those to whom family members may turn when they have economic difficulties. What is the situation in your family? Are the grandparents truly appreciated?

In the last few decades, notable worldwide social changes have affected the family and the relationships within it, resulting in the almost complete disappearance of the patriarchal family. In Europe, only 2 percent of elderly people live with their children. Even so, in industrialized nations, as a result of the current increase in average life expectancy and the decrease in births, the proportion of grandparents to the general population is ever larger. Grandmothers and grandfathers constitute 26 percent of the population of Europe, and according to a survey published by the European Union, the figure is “destined to increase.” Japan, says the Asahi Evening News, “is proud of its tradition of taking care of its senior citizens.” Yet, there is an increasingly widespread habit, especially in the cities, of leaving grandparents in hospitals and specialized clinics even when there is no real need for hospitalization. In South Africa too, where the elderly have traditionally been treated with dignity, there is now the deplorable tendency to reject the aged, according to Cape Town newspaper The Cape Times. The report points out that families want to get “as much out of life as possible” and are “deluding themselves that once they have put granny safely in a home, they have done all that’s expected of them.”

The same newspaper speaks of a specific case in which an elderly grandmother is placed in an efficient rest home for the aged by her three children, “with promises of support and regular visits.” But what becomes of her? “At first the visits are daily. After some weeks they drop to three times a week. Then it becomes once a week. After a year twice or three times a month, eventually five or six a year and finally hardly any at all.” How did this grandmother pass her interminable days? The heartrending description relates: “Her room had a window with a view of a tree, and her only living companions were the doves and the starlings that perched in it. She waits for their arrival as anxiously as if they were close relatives.”

As a result of the Westernization of South African life-​styles, which induces many to seek work in the cities, the same thing is happening in tribal families. Besides changing social conditions, other reasons for the abandonment of grandparents are the disappearance of those humanitarian qualities that promote happy social and family living​—goodness, respect for one’s neighbor, family affection—​and the prevalence of the spirit of selfishness, hedonism, pride, and rebellion. According to the Scriptures, such moral degradation is a sign that we are living in “the last days.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) Thus, rather than esteem their grandparents as a source of enrichment and stability, children and grandchildren often consider them to be a cumbersome hindrance, out of step with rapid social change.a

The generation gap is becoming increasingly accentuated, and it causes considerable tension, even more so when the elderly live with their families. Yet, the grandparents’ contribution can be of such great benefit! What, then, are some of the principal problems between generations that impede affectionate relationships between grandparents, children, and grandchildren? And how can grandparents reestablish their valuable role within the family circle?

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