Sexual Harassment—How to Protect Yourself

“NO WOMAN should have to run a daily gauntlet of sexual innuendo,” says magazine editor Gretchen Morgenson, “but neither is it reasonable for women to expect a pristine work environment free of coarse behavior.” Commendably, efforts by employers and the courts to make the workplace safer have yielded some good results. The risk of lawsuit, for example, has moved employers and employees around the world to try to improve the work environment. Many companies have developed in-house procedures for dealing with workplace molestation. Meetings and seminars are held to instruct employees in proper workplace behavior.

Of course, it only makes sense to know and follow company policies and local laws. (Romans 13:1; Titus 2:9) Christians have also found it helpful to apply Bible principles. Following these inspired guidelines in your dealings with your workmates can do much to help you to avoid becoming a victim of sexual harassment—or a perpetrator of it.

Proper Conduct for Men

Consider the matter of how men should treat women. Many experts caution against touching those of the opposite sex. They warn that a friendly pat on the back could easily be misinterpreted. “Juries take touching very seriously,” notes labor lawyer Frank Harty. His suggestion? “If it involves more than shaking hands, don’t do it.” True, the Bible itself makes no blanket rule on this matter.a But in view of the current legal and moral climate, caution is in order—especially for those who have an unconscious tendency to touch as they converse.

Admittedly, such advice is not always easy to follow. Glen, for instance, comes from a Hispanic culture. “Where I come from,” he says, “people are just more prone to hug you than here in the United States. In my family we often greet friends with a kiss, but here we were cautioned not to be too quick to do that.” Bible principles, though, prove helpful in this matter. The apostle Paul told the young man Timothy: “Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1, 2, New International Version) Would that not rule out promiscuous, seductive, or unwelcome touching?

That same principle can be applied to speech. Appropriately, the Bible says: “Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or greediness not even be mentioned among you, just as it befits holy people; neither shameful conduct nor foolish talking nor obscene jesting, things which are not becoming.” (Ephesians 5:3, 4) Sexual-harassment lawyer Kathy Chinoy suggests that before speaking you consider one question: “Would you want your mother, sister, or daughter exposed to that?” Obscene, suggestive talk degrades both the speaker and the hearer.

Preventing Harassment

How can one try to avoid becoming a victim of harassment? The advice Jesus gave his disciples when he sent them out on their first preaching assignment could, perhaps, be applied in this context: “Look! I am sending you forth as sheep amidst wolves; therefore prove yourselves cautious as serpents and yet innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) At any rate, a Christian is not helpless. The Bible assures us: “When wisdom enters into your heart . . . , thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you.” (Proverbs 2:10, 11) Let’s, therefore, look at some Bible principles that can help you safeguard yourself.

1. Watch how you conduct yourself with workmates. This does not mean being cold or hostile, for the Bible urges us to “pursue peace with all people.” (Hebrews 12:14; Romans 12:18) But since the Bible does caution Christians to “go on walking in wisdom toward those on the outside,” it makes sense to maintain a businesslike demeanor, especially when dealing with the opposite sex. (Colossians 4:5) The book Talking Back to Sexual Pressure, by Elizabeth Powell, urges workers “to learn a precise line between a pleasant attitude appropriate to their role and the kind of friendliness that could imply sexual openness.”

2. Dress modestly. What you wear sends out a message to others. Back in Bible times, wearing certain styles of clothing branded a person as being immoral or promiscuous. (Proverbs 7:10) The same is often true today; tight, flashy, or revealing clothing can attract the wrong kind of attention. True, some may feel they have a right to wear whatever they desire. But as writer Elizabeth Powell puts it, “if you worked among people who believed stealing money was okay, I’d tell you not to wear your billfold on your hip. . . . You have to recognize the sickness of . . . society’s attitudes and try to protect yourself from being victimized by them.” The Bible’s advice is thus up-to-date. It admonishes women to “adorn themselves in well-arranged dress, with modesty and soundness of mind.” (1 Timothy 2:9) Dress modestly, and you may be less likely to be a target of abusive speech or actions.

3. Watch your associations! The Bible tells us of a young woman named Dinah who became the victim of sexual assault. She evidently attracted the attention of her assailant because she regularly “used to go out to see the daughters of the land” of Canaan—women known for being promiscuous! (Genesis 34:1, 2) Similarly today, if you regularly chat with—or listen to—coworkers who are known for discussing prurient subjects, some might conclude that you would be receptive to sexual advances.

This does not mean you have to snub your workmates. But if the conversation becomes risqué, why not simply excuse yourself? Interestingly, many of Jehovah’s Witnesses have found that having a reputation for high moral standards serves to protect them from harassment.—1 Peter 2:12.

4. Avoid compromising situations. The Bible tells how a young man named Amnon schemed to be alone with a young woman named Tamar so that he could take advantage of her sexually. (2 Samuel 13:1-14) Harassers today may behave similarly, perhaps inviting a subordinate to share an alcoholic drink or to remain at work after hours for no apparent reason. Beware of such invitations! Says the Bible: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself.”—Proverbs 22:3.

If You Are Harassed

Of course, some men will make improper advances even when a woman conducts herself impeccably. How should you respond to such advances if you are targeted? Some have recommended simply taking the whole thing in stride! ‘Office sex is the spice of life!’ says one woman. However, far from viewing such inappropriate attention as humorous or flattering, true Christians are repulsed by it. They “abhor what is wicked” and realize that the intent of such advances is usually to lure one into sexual immorality. (Romans 12:9; compare 2 Timothy 3:6.) At the very least, the crude behavior is an affront to their Christian dignity. (Compare 1 Thessalonians 4:7, 8.) How can you handle such situations?

1. Take a stand! The Bible tells us how a God-fearing man named Joseph responded to immoral propositions: “Now after these things it came about that the wife of his master began to raise her eyes toward Joseph and say: ‘Lie down with me.’” Did Joseph simply ignore her overtures, hoping that the problem would go away by itself? On the contrary! The Bible says that he boldly refused her advances, saying: “How could I commit this great badness and actually sin against God?”—Genesis 39:7-9.

Joseph’s actions set a good example for both men and women. Ignoring—or worse yet, being intimidated by—suggestive speech or aggressive behavior rarely makes it go away; if anything, fear or diffidence may cause it to escalate! Rape prevention counselor Martha Langelan cautions that rapists often use sexual harassment as a “way to gauge the likelihood that a woman will fight back in an assault; if she is passive and timid when harassed, they assume she will be passive and terrified when attacked.” It is therefore critical that you take a stand at the first sign of harassment. According to one writer, “saying no immediately and clearly is often enough to make the harasser stop the offensive behavior.”

2. Let your no mean no! Jesus said that in his Sermon on the Mount. (Matthew 5:37) His statement is appropriate for these circumstances, since harassers are often quite persistent. Just how firm do you need to be? That depends on the circumstances and the response of the harasser. Use whatever degree of firmness is necessary to get your point across. In some cases, a simple, direct statement in a calm tone of voice will suffice. Make eye contact. Experts suggest the following: (a) State your feelings. (“I do not like it at all when you . . .”) (b) Specifically name the offensive behavior. (“. . . when you use crude, vulgar language . . .”) (c) Make clear what you want the person to do. (“I want you to stop speaking to me that way!”)

“In no case, however,” Langelan cautions, “does a confrontation step over the line into aggression. Counteraggression (using insults, threats, and verbal abuse, throwing a punch, spitting on a harasser) is counterproductive. Verbal violence is dangerous, and there is no need to use physical violence unless there is an actual physical attack that requires self-defense.” Such practical advice accords with the Bible’s words at Romans 12:17: “Return evil for evil to no one.”

What if the harassment continues in spite of your best efforts to stop it? Some companies have set procedures for dealing with sexual harassment. Often the mere threat of initiating a company grievance procedure will make your harasser leave you alone. Then again, it may not. Sad to say, finding a sympathetic supervisor is not always an easy task for either women or men. Glen, who says he was harassed by a female employee, tried complaining. He recalls: “When I told the boss about it, I got no help at all. In fact, he thought it was hilarious. I just had to watch out for the woman and go out of my way to avoid her.”

Some have tried legal action. But the huge judgments in lawsuits you read about in the media are hardly typical. Besides, the book Talking Back to Sexual Pressure warns: “Legal remedies against harassment require tremendous emotional energy and time; they result in physical as well as mental stress.” With good reason the Bible cautions: “Do not go forth to conduct a legal case hastily.” (Proverbs 25:8) After counting the emotional and spiritual costs of legal action, some have preferred to seek other employment.

The End of Harassment

Sexual harassment is nothing new. It is as universal as the imperfect, scheming, greedy human heart. Commissions and court cases will never rid society of sexual harassment. Getting rid of sexual harassment requires a fundamental change of heart in people.

Today, God’s Word and his spirit are effecting such a change in people the world over. It is as if wolves and lions were learning to behave as lambs and calves, just as foretold by the prophet Isaiah. (Isaiah 11:6-9) By studying the Bible with people, Jehovah’s Witnesses each year help many thousands of former ‘wolves’ to make deep-seated, lasting personality changes. These people heed the Scriptural command to “put away the old personality which conforms to your former course of conduct” and to replace it with “the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.”—Ephesians 4:22-24.

One day the earth will be filled with men and women who hold to Bible standards. God-fearing people eagerly await that day, when there will be an end to all forms of mistreatment. Until then, they cope as best as they can with today’s ugly realities.

[Footnote]

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“Would you want your mother, sister, or daughter exposed to that?”

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Businesslike comportment and modest dress can do much to protect one from harassment

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True Christians today learn to treat one another in a respectful way