Once a Catholic Priest​—Why No Longer?

As told by Ferdinando Piacentini

“Life is short, and death awaits, its hour alone uncertain.

What will become of us then, if we lose our only soul? . . .

This life is soon to end, but eternity is unending.”

THIS simple hymn that the parish priest taught us to sing kindled in me a desire for godliness and eternal life right from the early age of 13. So it was that, drawn by the friendship of two others of like inclination, I decided to become a priest.

I was born on January 8, 1925, in Casola, a small village in the mountains near the town of Montefiorino, in the province of Modena, Italy. I was the fifth of eight boys in our middle-class family. My father, a building contractor, opposed the idea of my becoming a priest. But I was encouraged to take up the priesthood by one of my sisters who was a zealous member of Catholic Action and eventually became (and still is) a nun.

The Seminary Regime

In October of 1938 I entered the lower seminary at Fiumalbo, a town high in the Apennines, near Modena. Later I attended the higher metropolitan seminary in Modena. What was life like in the seminary, you ask?

It is guided by the bell, which the good seminarian obeys. When the bell rang at 6:30 a.m., the prefect (the theologian who supervised the dormitory) turned on the lights. The rule was that we were to dress in the morning and undress at night under the blankets.

Having made our beds, again at the sounding of the bell we went to the chapel for the morning prayer. It consisted of a few expressions read and recited in choir with a special cadence. This was followed by about a half hour of meditation, then Mass and breakfast. Afterward came study, lessons, recreation and a walk.

Before supper in the evening, there was a spiritual reading from a book on asceticism. This was followed by the rosary and a song to the Madonna. After supper and a short break, we went back to the chapel for prayer and self-examination. Finally, we went to bed.

Seminarians had to address one another with the formal third person, never directly by name. We were forbidden to talk with a seminarian belonging to another dormitory. Another rule prohibited the touching of another seminarian for any reason. For example, we could not shake hands or put a hand on somebody else’s shoulder. When home on vacation, we were not to go out with any girls, not even our fleshly sisters.

Fear of Hell or Love for God?

During those early years in the seminary, I was obsessed by the desire to purify myself of the sins committed in my childhood. So I often went to confession. Yet, I must say that I was more influenced by the fear of hellfire than by a love for God. This fear was constantly fomented in my mind by required daily meditation on the book Apparecchio alla morte (Preparation for Death), by S. Alfonso de Liguori. Portions of this book echoed and reechoed through my mind, especially the words of the XXVI Consideration:

“Hellfire was expressly created by God to torment the damned soul. . . . He will be immersed in fire like a fish in water, yet the fire will not only surround him but also enter into his entrails to torment him. His very body will become a flame of fire, so that his entrails will burn inside his belly, his heart within his chest, his brain inside his head, his blood in his veins and even the marrow in his bones; each damned soul will himself become a furnace of fire.”

Can you see why thoughts about the eternal torment of hell tortured me day and night? Try to put yourself in the shoes of an impressionable adolescent who has constantly been scared by the concept of a God more like a tyrant than a loving father. I was confused. Why, there were times when I doubted the very existence of God! When I confided in my superiors, they would say: “My son, these are tests God sends to try the ones he loves. Even the great saints have had their doubts.”

Becoming a Priest

The years slowly passed by, and the time approached when I would have to make a final decision about my future. More and more, I began to think about leaving the seminary. I decided to speak to the rector about it.

“If you don’t go ahead with your vocation,” he quickly replied, “you will miss out on the divine calling like the rich young man, and you will be in serious danger of going to hell forever!” Needless to say, his words about hellfire really struck me!

After much mental anguish, the day came when I had to make known my decision. That same day one of my companions, who was to have become a deacon, fainted in front of the altar and had to be taken outside. Perhaps he was feeling as troubled as I felt. He left the seminary and, although in a way I envied him, I remained. I decided to go ahead with my vocation.

The desire to become a good priest motivated me. I wanted to do good by helping others to worship God. So on September 3, 1950, at the age of 25, I was ordained in Modena by the archbishop of Modena, Msgr. Cesare Boccoleri. For the next seven years, I served as a chaplain, a parish priest’s assistant.

In 1957 I was assigned as parish priest at Casine of Sestola, a small village in the northern Italian Apennines. I was parish priest there for the next 17 years. I think the people considered me to be a good priest. For my part, though, I was not satisfied. It probably seems absurd, but the fact was that I had no basis for my faith. True, during my 12 years in the seminary, I had to study the Bible. But it was considered a subject of secondary importance compared to others such as Ethics, Dogmatic Theology and Canon Law.

Plagued by Doubts

In time I began to read and hear about the innovations brought about by the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965). My confusion became even greater. Now there were contrasting ideas on what hell was. Some now held that God would not send anyone to hell, whereas die-hard traditionalists maintained that it would be the clergy’s fault if crime increased because without a belief in hell people would no longer be as God-fearing as before. My doubts grew stronger.

At the beginning of 1973 I subscribed to a number of religious magazines, including some that criticized the Roman Catholic Church and its teachings. Now certain inconsistencies became ever more evident to me. For example, at one time eating meat on Friday was forbidden. When this church teaching was changed, I thought: ‘According to that teaching, those who ate meat on Friday committed a mortal sin. For a mortal sin, one can be punished with hellfire​—an irreversible punishment. But if in hell there are some who did not repent for eating meat on Friday, what will they think now?’

I remember the pope’s official speech one Easter time. With reference to those leaving the priesthood, he said: “Individual cases may be different, but on the whole, these ones leaving the priesthood remind one of Judas and his betrayal.” I was deeply offended​—no, indignant! What I saw happening in the church, together with what I was reading, was undermining my faith in God. Then an unexpected encounter totally changed my life.

Finding the Truth

I visited a friend who was the priest at the parish of Roncoscaglia of Sestola, Modena, about 13 kilometersa from Casine where I had my parish. “Guess what?” my friend said. “In our village there is a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses who is very much respected.”

I did not get to know that family then, but I did manage to get ahold of some of their Bible literature, including the book The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life. I read it right away and was struck by its simplicity. The discussion about hell helped me to understand that hell is simply the common grave of dead mankind. At last a different concept of God began to take shape​—one of love, not torment! More than once I broke out in gooseflesh at the sensation it gave me of being freed at last!

My thirst for Bible truth grew. Upon being invited to start Bible discussions with the Witnesses, I was somewhat hesitant and, not unmindful of my religious position, I said to myself, ‘You’re embarking on quite a venture!’

Over the next seven months, I had six Bible discussions with the Witnesses. Due to the distance, we could not meet more often. Giordano Morini, the Witness who studied with me, lived in Formigine, Modena, about 71 kilometers away. However, during this time I read the publications he gave me, along with my Catholic version of the Bible. Now the Bible was a source of new and logical religious ideas that intimately reassured me.

During this period I read an article in The Watchtower that deeply impressed me. Entitled “Organized to Praise God,” it explained that C. T. Russell, the first president of the Watch Tower Society, had in his early 20’s become disturbed by the doctrine of hellfire, just as I had. By studying the Bible he, too, had been able to understand that a fiery hell did not exist. Russell’s experience deepened my desire to continue acquiring accurate knowledge of the Bible.

“People Who Really Love God!”

When I attended my first meeting at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Sassuolo, I was very nervous. Although I received a very warm welcome, this did not overcome my embarrassment. Quite frankly, I felt like a fish out of water.

Even so, I was deeply impressed by many things I observed. I saw people, no more than average workingmen, up there on the platform. As they spoke, I thought, ‘This is how Peter, Paul and other apostles might have been.’ When I saw the children on the platform, I called to mind Jesus’ zealous need to speak about his heavenly Father when he was just 12 years of age.

I was also struck by the sight of all those people carefully searching their Bibles for the quoted texts. Later on, I told other ecclesiastics: “At Jehovah’s Witnesses’ meeting places a priest can find everything he has always dreamed of, that is to say, people who really love God!”

But difficulties, opposition and misunderstandings were to follow in short order. You see, I did not cover up my Bible research. Back in Casine I spoke about it openly in my church and in the village school where I gave lessons on religion. It became impossible to continue teaching at school since the principal and teachers continually interrupted the lessons. So, instead, I invited the children to come to my house with their parents. But this aroused even more opposition!

Should I Renounce the Priesthood?

Soon it became clear to me that I had a decision to make​—should I leave the Catholic Church for good? I had never done secular work, and I had nowhere to live. I also had to combat friends and relatives who wanted to have me examined by a psychiatrist, convinced that I had gone completely mad! Would I be able to overcome these numerous obstacles? Those difficult days were passed in constant prayer as I contemplated one of the most important decisions of my life.​—Psalm 55:1-7, 16-18, 22.

Then I received an unexpected visit from the bishop’s representative and the clerical councillor of the zone. Somebody had told them what I was contemplating. Strangely enough, they had never been in such a hurry to see me before, although I had often been in ill health. In spite of what they had to say, I made my decision known to them. The next day, March 19, 1974, at the age of 49, I left the priesthood.

No Turning Back

It was not easy to find work and a place to live. There were difficult moments, but there was no turning back. For instance, the first house I lived in was in very bad condition; there was no electricity or running water. However, with loving assistance from the local Witnesses, I finally found a more comfortable house in Castelnuovo Rangone, Modena.

Eventually I found a job as a laborer in a pottery factory. This was rather heavy going for someone like me, unaccustomed to hard physical work. New ones were always given the hardest work to do, and I remained “new” for the next six months!

The God I had striven to know for so long gave me the strength to persevere and progress in accurate knowledge. Nine months after leaving the priesthood I made the most important decision of my life. I dedicated my life to Jehovah God and symbolized this by water baptism on January 12, 1975.

Now I am truly happy. I have found the truth. No longer am I disturbed by erroneous concepts or by teachings that reproach God! No longer do I go to people’s homes to beg for grapes, grain, eggs and firewood! No longer do I make the rounds blessing houses and cattle stalls, pronouncing the ritual formula of benediction, while the housewives diligently search for their purses to give me an offering. No, now my visits to the homes of families where I used to go as a parish priest are happy, dignified occasions. I go there to share the most precious thing I have​—the accurate knowledge of the good news of God’s Kingdom!

I have had the added joy of marrying a zealous Christian Witness. To think that the ceremony was celebrated right there in the town where I used to be chaplain! When I went to file my application for the marriage, the council official said, “Do you want to get married at night?” Evidently he feared the embarrassment caused by the marriage of the town’s ex-chaplain. (We did, however, get married in the daytime!) Now my wife and I are associated with the Mazanello Congregation, in the province of Modena, where I have the privilege of serving as an appointed elder.

In our preaching work, my wife and I have had the pleasure of studying the Bible with several families to whom I had previously taught catechism. Up to this point, seven former parishioners or their relatives have dedicated their lives to Jehovah!

When the present is so joyful and the future so full of promise, past troubles fade into insignificance. Now, as a servant of the true God, Jehovah, I have really found peace and serenity. So it is that I give thanks to Jehovah in the words of the prophet Isaiah: “Look! God is my salvation. I shall trust and be in no dread; for Jah Jehovah is my strength and my might, and he came to be the salvation of me.”​—Isaiah 12:2.

[Footnotes]

[Picture on page 25]

No longer do I go to people’s homes to beg for grapes, grain, eggs and firewood. Now I go to give freely the good news of God’s Kingdom