Eleven Orphans—How Could We Cope?
As told by Maria Lucia Vinhal
“IF GOD were really loving, he wouldn’t have taken both Dad and Mom in such a short time!” “If God is almighty, why didn’t he keep Mom from dying, knowing she would leave behind 11 orphans?”
Repeatedly, I argued in this vein with my Catholic friends and relatives who insisted it was God’s will that Dad had committed suicide and that, four months later, Mother had succumbed to a heart attack. Frightened and confused, I kept asking myself, “How will I, a girl of 17, care for ten younger brothers and sisters, the youngest being just one month old?”
Family Background
We had been a devout Catholic family. Dad, a schoolteacher, also served as treasurer and catechist in a nearby chapel, and I sang in the choir. Both he and I belonged to the religious order of Saint Vincent de Paul. Our whole family shared in our daily devotions and other church activities, for there was not much more to do in the quiet little city where we lived in the interior of the state of Goiás, Brazil.
Dad had a deep desire to learn and understand the Bible and he read it frequently, often into the wee hours of the morning. I remember once when I heard him crying because he could not understand the words of Job, “Who will grant me this, that thou mayst protect me in hell?” (Job 14:13, Douay) “If Job was a loyal servant,” Dad asked aloud, “why did he ask to be sent to hell for protection?” Dad had other questions for which he could not find answers: Why do we suffer so much? Does not God remember us? He even went to some Protestant churches looking for the answers—but in vain.
Our quiet, simple life was shattered on June 24, 1974, when two of my cousins brought me the heartbreaking news: “Maria Lucia, your father killed himself!” A bad business deal had brought financial ruin and debts, and this left Dad desperate. The shock and anguish proved too much for Mother’s weak heart, and four months later she also died, leaving us 11 orphans destitute and overwhelmed with grief.
How to Cope?
At the time I was working in a supermarket, earning very little. So with the debts that were left, we began to suffer privation, at times not even having enough food for the table. Seeing our plight, a fellow worker collected food for us from door to door. Although embarrassed, I did feel grateful for her loving gesture and for the help we received from the local people.
Our house had belonged to Mother, so at least we had a place to live. After a time, too, we began to receive a small pension. To supplement this, 12-year-old Paulo went to work in a butcher shop and Sílvio, just 11, started to deliver milk. The housework was cared for by Lucia Maria, 15, and Maria Aparecida, 9. There was just no way for all 11 of us to stay together, so it was decided that the 6 youngest children would, for the time being, go to live with relatives. The rest of us soon became engrossed in our attempt to cope with the problems of everyday life.
There were so many decisions to be made that affected all of us and, since I was the oldest, the final word was generally left to me. At times it was hard for the others to accept my decision, since I was still so young. For instance, there was the time when I tried to make Paulo be quiet because he was making so much noise that the rest of us could not study.
“Who are you to correct me?” he responded. Then, after quite a discussion he left the house and did not return that night. Next morning, red-eyed from crying, I went looking for him, even thinking of going to the police station. But how relieved we were when Paulo came home later that morning, smiling and carefree, having spent the night with some friends! Such misunderstandings, however, were few.
Disturbing Questions
There were still religious questions that disturbed us. Since our friends had said that God had taken our parents, we kept thinking that, if it were true, then he would probably take the rest of us one by one. So when any one of us became ill, we were afraid that God was going to take another one! This left us terrified! Moreover, we had been taught that if a person committed suicide his soul would go to hell, and I kept wondering, ‘Is Dad really suffering in flames?’ When I asked our priest about it, he would not answer. This left me very unhappy and with doubts about my religion.
As a member of the Vincentian order, I still collected tithes for the church. When I called on one man he asked me what the money was to be used for and also what the Bible basis was for such tithing. I could not answer him. The following month when I called he raised the same questions. So I decided to ask the priest.
“To cover the expenses of the church,” he answered.
“And the Bible basis?” I insisted.
No answer. I began to cry, knowing that I would not be able to answer the man’s question. Moreover, the names of the contributors were read out loud in the meeting of our Society, with praises for those who gave much. But imagine how I felt when my name was read aloud and I had not been able to give anything—and this was mentioned before everyone!
All of this only added to my disillusionment. Looking back, too, although we did appreciate very much the material aid we received during the weeks following Mother’s death, I realize that all the rituals we went through in church did little to help me cope with my responsibility to give moral training to our family.
Questions Answered
Six months after Mother’s death the way was opened to have my questions answered. A lady, Yolanda by name, visited my place of work offering a free home Bible study to a fellow worker. She identified herself as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Listening in, I was captivated by the title of the blue, pocket-size book she offered, The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life. Since I did not have money to buy one, a fellow worker later gave me a copy as a present.
At home I devoured its contents and a few days later when I met dona Yolanda again, I pleaded, “Give me your address so I can go to your house for that Bible course you promised.” And how many questions I had! What most impressed me in the Bible study was the way she answered my questions from our Bible—just what had been lacking when I had previously questioned the priest.
One scripture that deeply touched my heart was John 5:28, 29, which reads: “Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out.” Lucia Maria and I cried for joy at the prospect of seeing Mother again!
“But what about Dad? Is he suffering in hell?” were questions begging for answers. What a relief to learn that hell is the common grave of mankind and that no one is suffering there! This also answered my father’s original question about Job asking to be protected in hell. We learned, too, that Dad’s future life prospects rest in the hands of the great Judge, Jehovah God. But at least he is not in torment!—Ecclesiastes 9:5, 10.
One by one the rest of the family also began to study the Bible with other Witnesses. How grateful we are for their kindness and patience in teaching us Bible truths! We learned why God permits evil and that he has not forgotten us. We found, too, that the Bible has fine counsel for us on morals, honesty, respect for authority and how we should treat one another.—1 Corinthians 6:9, 10; Hebrews 13:17, 18; Romans 13:1, 2; Matthew 7:12.
We were determined to apply the things we learned and we made a “pact” among us that if one erred, another would correct him. For example, Paulo began to show a liking for parties where there was too much drinking. Over a period of time and with the right counsel, this problem was overcome and he began to show a more serious attitude. Sílvio, a year younger than Paulo, did not take the Bible study seriously at first, and he would go with us to meetings at the Kingdom Hall only because we made him go with us. Later, as our Bible study progressed, he began to manifest a deep desire to serve God and to accept responsibility. He says that what helped him was the encouragement that he received from others in the congregation.
No Longer “Orphans”
As a family, we felt that Jesus’ words at Mark 10:29, 30 had particular meaning for us: “No one has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father . . . for the sake of the good news who will not get a hundredfold now in this period of time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers.” Yes, we now have many “brothers and sisters and mothers” in a spiritual sense.
Dona Yolanda, for example, not only studied the Bible with us but also spent hours teaching us how to care for the home better, to cook and to wash and iron clothes. If it had not been for her “motherly” counsel, I do not know what would have become of all of us. The Christian brothers in the small congregation (about 20 persons in all) also were attentive to our needs. They even made arrangements to repair our house!
Some of our relatives, who up till then had shown little interest in our situation, became disturbed by all the attention we were receiving, and on the day set to begin work on the house, they also showed up. “You Witnesses can leave this to us,” they said. “We’ll fix up the house.” We were very surprised, and grateful, to receive their help. Later the brothers came and finished the electrical repairs, making our home much more comfortable.
Of course, all this activity with the Witnesses did not go unnoticed by our neighbors, who did not want us to become Jehovah’s Witnesses. One day as we left home to go to the Kingdom Hall for a meeting, the man across the street stopped us.
“You’re not going to that meeting!” he insisted.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because that is a new religion, invented just a short time ago. Your father died a Catholic and you all must stay in the Catholic Church until you die. Go on back home!”
Although we realized that he was well-meaning, we did not let this incident discourage us.
One of the greatest joys that Bible knowledge brought us was to experience unity as a family. We studied the Bible together, prayed together and, later on, began to preach from house to house together. All of this gave us a unity of effort we had never felt before. As time went on we began to explore ways whereby at least one of us could share more fully in preaching to others.
Up till that time Lucia Maria did the sewing for the family (and also some for outsiders), as well as much of the housework. We arranged for Maria Aparecida to learn how to sew and also to take on more of the housework, thus freeing Lucia Maria to a great extent. With this arrangement it was possible for Lucia Maria, in April 1978, to begin to devote most of her time to the preaching work as a pioneer. Two years later she was assigned as a special pioneer, spending 140 hours each month teaching others the Bible in a distant city where a congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses was being formed.
Ten years have passed since that tragic year 1974, when it seemed that our whole world collapsed. But how things have changed! In view of our improved situation, materially and especially spiritually, we have been able to unite most of our family again. In 1979 Dorinato came back to be with us, and a few months later I got grandmother’s approval to bring back Dalva and Lourdes. All three have made fine progress, the latter two being baptized in 1980. How happy we were to see Bible truth take root in their hearts!
It was Beatriz’ turn next. The family with whom she had gone to live were Catholic, and she accompanied them in their religion. We thought we would have difficulty in getting her to return home. However, much to our surprise and happiness, she came home in November 1981. She began to study the Bible seriously with us and in July 1982 she was baptized. Now she conducts her own Bible studies. Jehovah’s hand was indeed not short!
Then came Clodoaldo’s turn. In May 1983 we were finally able to bring him home and he now shares regularly in our family Bible study and also in the preaching activity. We pray that both he and Dorinato will continue to make progress toward dedication and baptism. The youngest, Alexandre, is still living with relatives. Even though we do not yet have permission to bring him home, we have been able to make arrangements to give him regular spiritual help. At present he is enjoying reading the book You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth.
After Paulo and Sílvio were baptized, they took the lead in our family Bible studies and prayer. In fact, Sílvio’s secular work has allowed him enough free time so that he could serve for the past nine months as an auxiliary pioneer. Currently, Paulo has the privilege of serving at the branch office of the Watchtower Society here in Brazil. I still carry on with my secular work and devote as much time as possible to Jehovah’s service. Needless to say, all of this has been a source of real joy and satisfaction to me after the struggles of the previous years.
We often think of what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 127:1: “Unless Jehovah himself guards the city, it is to no avail that the guard has kept awake.” If Jehovah had not been ‘on guard’ for us, all my vigilance over the family would likely have been in vain.
It has been a real thrill and pleasure for us to study, learn and talk to others about Jehovah’s wonderful purposes. He has indeed been a real Father to us and we are happy to express ourselves as did David, who said: “Sing you to God, make melody to his name; raise up a song to the One riding through the desert plains as Jah, which is his name; . . . a father of fatherless boys . . . is God in his holy dwelling.”—Psalm 68:4, 5.
[Picture on page 26]
Seven members of the Vinhal family
[Picture on page 27]
Alexandre, born shortly before his mother died
[Picture on page 29]
My sister Lucia Maria, now serving as a full-time minister in Goiás, Brazil