How to Plan a Wedding That Brings Honor to Jehovah

1-2. How does Jehovah view weddings?

ARE you engaged to be married? If so, congratulations! You are likely quite involved in planning your wedding. Jehovah is interested in your marriage. He wants you to enjoy your weddinga day and have a happy future together.​—Prov. 5:18; Song of Sol. 3:11.

² Jehovah deserves to be shown honor at your wedding. Why can we say that? And how can you do so? Although this article is primarily addressed to couples who are preparing for their wedding, the principles discussed can help all of us to honor Jehovah if we attend a wedding or if we are asked for observations on the plans being made.

WHY HONOR JEHOVAH?

3. When planning their wedding, a Christian couple should take what into account, and why?

³ Couples who are planning a Christian wedding should do so in harmony with the principles that Jehovah has outlined in his Word. Why? Because Jehovah is the Originator of marriage. He arranged for the very first wedding​—the one that joined Adam and Eve in matrimony. (Gen. 1:28; 2:24) So God’s thinking should be foremost on the minds of those who are planning a wedding.

4. What reason do couples have to show honor to Jehovah on their wedding day?

⁴ You have a significant reason to consider Jehovah’s thinking on your wedding day: He is your heavenly Father and your best Friend. (Heb. 12:9) You undoubtedly want that to continue to be true. You would never want anything to happen on that day or any other day that would hurt your Friend. (Ps. 25:14) When you consider everything that Jehovah has done and will do for you, would you not agree that he deserves honor at your wedding?​—Ps. 116:12.

HOW CAN YOU HONOR JEHOVAH?

5. How can the Bible help couples to plan their wedding?

⁵ The Bible does not provide a list of rules about Christian wedding ceremonies or any receptions that may follow. There is room for different circumstances, customs, and preferences. True worshippers also respect legal requirements provided by Caesar. (Matt. 22:21) Still, a wedding that is organized according to Bible principles will honor Jehovah and make him happy. So, what principles should you keep in mind?

6. Why is it important for a couple to comply with legal requirements for marriage?

⁶ Comply with legal requirements. (Rom. 13:1, 2) In most countries, a couple must satisfy certain legal requirements before getting married. The couple should find out what these are where they live. If you have questions on how to go about doing so, feel free to ask the elders for help.b

7. What atmosphere is appropriate for a wedding?

⁷ Create the right atmosphere. (1 Cor. 10:31, 32) Strive to have an atmosphere that reflects the fruitage of God’s spirit rather than the spirit of the world. (Gal. 5:19-26) In line with the Scriptural principle of headship, the groom is responsible for making sure that the wedding is a happy and dignified event. What can help to that end? A Bible-based wedding talk, delivered with love, warmth, and dignity, builds appreciation for God’s marital arrangement. All in attendance can benefit because the talk will help to underscore the seriousness of the occasion. Accordingly, most Christian couples choose to have the ceremony at a Kingdom Hall, if possible. If you wish to use a Kingdom Hall, you should submit a written request to the body of elders well in advance.

8. What can help maintain a dignified atmosphere at a reception? (Romans 13:13)

⁸ Read Romans 13:13. If you choose to have a wedding reception, how can you prevent it from reflecting the spirit of the world? The Greek word rendered “wild parties” referred to gatherings that included overdrinking and music that went late into the night. (See “wild parties” study note on Romans 13:13.) If you choose to serve alcoholic beverages, take precautions to ensure that no one drinks too much.c If there is music, keep the volume at a level that will allow your guests to enjoy conversation. Carefully review the genre of music as well as the lyrics so that no one will be stumbled.

9. What should a couple keep in mind about speeches or other entertainment during their reception?

⁹ Will you have short comments from others, slideshows, videos, or other types of entertainment at your reception? These can often add something special to the day. However, make sure that what is presented will be upbuilding. (Phil. 4:8) Ask yourself: ‘Will it show respect for others? Will it dignify the marriage arrangement?’ And more important, ask yourself: ‘Will it honor Jehovah?’ Although some humor may be fitting, avoid anything inappropriate, such as making sexually suggestive references. (Eph. 5:3) Ensure that family members and friends who will say a few words understand and respect your wishes.

10. Why should a couple be modest when planning their wedding? (1 John 2:15-17)

¹⁰ Be modest. (Read 1 John 2:15-17.) Jehovah appreciates it when his worshippers seek to honor him rather than to bring improper attention to themselves. So modest Christians would avoid spending an excessive amount of money and making a “showy display.” How will you benefit by keeping your wedding simple? Perhaps it will turn out as it did for Mike, a brother from Norway. He says: “We stayed out of debt and were able to continue pioneering. Our wedding was simple but still beautiful and memorable.” Tabitha, a sister from India, says: “We avoided a lot of anxiety. By keeping our wedding simple, there was less to plan and to disagree over.”

11. How can a bride and groom show modesty by their dress and grooming? (See also pictures.)

¹¹ Have you decided what you will wear? No doubt you want to look your best. Even in Bible times, a bride and groom paid close attention to how they looked. (Isa. 61:10) Granted, what you wear to your wedding may be somewhat different from what you would wear on other occasions, but it should not be less modest. (1 Tim. 2:9) Do not let clothing​—or any other material thing—​become the most noteworthy feature of your wedding.​—1 Pet. 3:3, 4.

12. Why should a couple be sure to reject any unscriptural wedding customs that are common in their area?

¹² Reject unscriptural customs. (Rev. 18:4) Satan’s system has contaminated wedding traditions with pagan, spiritistic, and superstitious practices. Jehovah clearly warns us to stay far away from such unclean things. (2 Cor. 6:14-17) If there are some customs, or traditions, in your area that are questionable, consider their origin and any Bible principles that apply before deciding what to include in your wedding.

13. How can a couple imitate Jehovah’s view of receiving gifts?

¹³ Is it customary where you live for guests to offer a gift to the married couple? The financial situation of some guests may affect the type of gift that they choose to give. Of course, Christians are encouraged to give, and it makes them happy to do so. (Prov. 11:25; Acts 20:35) However, we would not want to make our guests feel obligated to give; nor would we make them feel that a modest gift would not be appreciated. We imitate Jehovah, striving to have his view of gifts by letting others give according to their means and from the heart.​—2 Cor. 9:7.

AVOIDING AND OVERCOMING CHALLENGES

14. What challenges do some couples face?

¹⁴ You may face challenges as you try to plan a wedding that brings honor to Jehovah. For example, you may find it difficult to plan a simple wedding. Charlie, who is from the Solomon Islands, says: “It was very hard to determine whom to invite to the reception. We have many friends, and in our culture, everyone expects to be invited!” Tabitha, mentioned earlier, says: “Where I live, large receptions are common. It took time for our parents to accept our decision to invite only about 100 people.” Sarah, from India, says: “Some people place a lot of value on social status. My cousins had a grand wedding, so I felt some pressure to have an even more luxurious one.” What can help you to overcome these and other challenges?

15. Why is prayer an important part of wedding planning?

¹⁵ Make wedding planning a matter of prayer. You can tell Jehovah in prayer about any issue that you are facing or about your feelings. (Phil. 4:6, 7 and study note “in everything”) You can ask him to help you to make good decisions, to stay calm when you are feeling anxious, and to show courage when courage is needed. (1 Pet. 5:7) Your trust in Jehovah will grow as you see him act in your behalf. Tabitha, quoted earlier, says: “My fiancé and I were worried about having disagreements with each other and with our families. So every time we discussed wedding plans, we started with a prayer. We really felt Jehovah’s help and enjoyed a peaceful atmosphere.”

16-17. How can good communication help when planning a wedding?

¹⁶ Communicate clearly and tactfully. (Prov. 15:22) As a couple, you will need to make many decisions about your wedding. This includes deciding on a date, a budget, an invitation list, and many other things. Before you make a decision, review your options together and discuss Bible principles that apply as well as any advice you get from mature, experienced Christians. When expressing your personal preferences, be kind, sensible, and flexible. If close family members​—such as your parents—​have reasonable requests, try to honor them. This is a special occasion for them too. If you cannot do as they recommend, explain your reasons tactfully. (Col. 4:6) Make it clear to family members that your main objective is to have a happy occasion that honors Jehovah.

¹⁷ Explaining your choices to your parents may be especially difficult if they are not in the truth, but you can succeed. “Our families wanted us to include various Hindu rituals,” says Santhosh, a brother in India. “It took my fiancée and me a long time to explain our decisions to them. We made some adjustments where we felt that we could do so without displeasing Jehovah. For example, we changed the menu at the reception to something that was appealing to them and decided not to include any singing or dancing because they were not accustomed to such things.”

18. What can help you to make sure the wedding day goes smoothly? (1 Corinthians 14:40) (See also picture.)

¹⁸ Plan carefully. By being well-organized, you will likely feel less stress on your wedding day. (Read 1 Corinthians 14:40.) Wayne, from Taiwan, says: “A few days before our wedding, we had a small meeting with those who volunteered to help us with the event. We discussed our arrangements and rehearsed some portions of the wedding to ensure that it would go smoothly.” Out of respect for your guests, do your best to keep things on time.

19. What can help you to stay in control of what takes place at your wedding reception?

¹⁹ Many problems can be averted by your thinking ahead. (Prov. 22:3) For example, if you live in an area where it is common for uninvited guests to show up at a wedding reception, consider what you can do to prevent this from happening. Make sure that any relatives who are not in the truth know what they can expect, and explain your view of certain wedding customs. You could share with them the article “What Happens at a Wedding of Jehovah’s Witnesses?” found on jw.org. To help you stay in control of what takes place at your reception, consider having a mature brother serve as “the director of the feast.” (John 2:8) If you clearly communicate your wedding plans to him, he can help you to make sure that the wedding remains dignified and goes as planned.

20. What should a couple remember about their wedding?

²⁰ You may feel somewhat overwhelmed as you consider everything that is involved in planning your wedding. However, remember that your wedding is just one day. It is the first day of what can become a beautiful life together as servants of Jehovah. Do your best to keep your wedding simple and dignified. Trust in Jehovah. With his guidance, you will be able to organize a wedding that you will look back on with warm and happy memories and no regrets.​—Ps. 37:3, 4.