BROTHERS​—‘RESCUE FATHERLESS BOYS’

16. (a) What is a chief concern of female single parents regarding their sons? (b) Who can help, and how?

¹⁶ The mother in a single-parent family naturally is concerned about the lack of a father’s influence in the home, especially on the sons. Men in the congregation should feel as did Job, who said: “I would rescue . . . the fatherless boy and anyone that had no helper.” (Job 29:12) Often what is needed is sincere interest. These boys could be personally invited to share with you in witnessing, in certain activities at the Kingdom Hall and even in wholesome recreation. This attention could “rescue” a boy from a worldly course and draw him toward the congregation.

17. (a) Who was a good example of one who ‘rescued fatherless boys,’ and with what results? (b) In offering help to other children, what would a married brother have to consider?

¹⁷ The apostle Peter was one who ‘rescued fatherless boys.’ He befriended John Mark, even calling him “Mark my son.” (1 Pet. 5:13) Mark’s mother, Mary, was probably a single parent, because the account says that Peter went to her house, not her husband’s. (Acts 12:12) Undoubtedly the fine spiritual association Mark had with Peter and other Christian men was instrumental in his becoming a missionary who even wrote a Bible book. He is a good example for boys who must be reared by a mother alone. Naturally, any married brother would have to realize that Scripturally he has a prior responsibility​—to care for his own family first. While not neglecting those “who are his own,” much good can come from showing interest in these fatherless boys to the extent that this is advantageous and as far as one’s circumstances allow.​—1 Tim. 5:8.

HOW THE CONGREGATION CAN HELP

5. (a) What does showing “fellow feeling” mean, and why is this so important? (b) In what ways could our congregation display such “fellow feeling” toward single parents?

⁵ “It’s been hard and sometimes I get weighed down,” said a single parent with six children, including a set of 17-month-old twins. “However, once in a while one of the brothers or sisters [in the congregation] will say to me: ‘Joan, you’re doing a good job. It’s going to be worth it.’ Just to know that others are thinking of you and that they care is so helpful.” This shows how all can help. “All of you,” urges the apostle Peter, “be like-minded, showing fellow feeling, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate.” (1 Pet. 3:8) Put yourself in the other person’s place. A kind word, a smile right from the heart, can mean so much. Be tenderhearted rather than critical.

6. Why would an individual acting like the one described at 1 John 3:17 truly be reprehensible before God?

⁶ Real love includes more than kind words. Just before urging Christians to put their love into action through deeds, the apostle John wrote: “But whoever has this world’s means for supporting life and beholds his brother having need and yet shuts the door of his tender compassions upon him, in what way does the love of God remain in him?” (1 John 3:17) The original word for “beholds” means not just a casual glance but a deliberate gaze. It is used of a general inspecting an army. Certainly, this one looks with interest for details. So imagine the scene John paints: Someone who has the means to help, after a careful look at his brother perceives a need, then shuts and locks the door of his heart. He refuses to help. How cold! Thankfully, such negative responses are rare exceptions among Jehovah’s Witnesses. Countless reports show their generosity toward those “having need.”

7. When needy single-parent families are neglected, what usually is the problem, and how can this be overcome?

⁷ However, there have been instances of neglect. Usually this has occurred because there has been a failure to “behold” the need. ‘Careful observation,’ with interest regarding those in need, was lacking. So what about the situation in your congregation? Are you really conscious of the circumstances of the widows and the orphans? When was the last time you did more than casually greet them? Have you ever invited some over for a meal or a social gathering to get to know them better? Such questions help us to see if we are really ‘beholding’ the condition of our single-parent families.

8. How have some in the congregation helped needy single-parent families?

⁸ It does not take great wealth to help. Many, seeing a real need, have shared extra food or have passed on clothing that their own children have outgrown. Some have even taught single parents certain skills, such as sewing, so that these could manage better. An old proverb says: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” One single parent wrote: “A sister gave me a sewing machine, two lengths of material and sewing lessons. I have saved hundreds of dollars since that time.”

10. What evidence is there that mature sisters played a large role in helping widows and orphans in the first century?

¹⁰ Mature women undoubtedly played a large role in helping widows and orphans in the first century. Some widows are described as ‘relieving those in tribulation,’ perhaps including single-parent families. (1 Tim. 5:10) In his letter to the Christians in Rome, one fourth of those greeted by the apostle Paul were women who had served faithfully with or in behalf of the congregation. Some were specifically spoken of as working hard or performing labors “in the Lord.” (Rom. 16:3-15) The woman Phoebe, a “minister of the congregation” (evidently she served in an unofficial way caring for the personal needs of others), is described as a “defender of many.” Doubtless, she took the initiative in helping “many,” which strengthened the congregation. Today, like Phoebe, mature Christian women give loving encouragement and help, including their material resources to help “those in tribulation.”​—Rom. 16:1, 2.

11. (a) What type of help can mature sisters give single parents? (b) What example can you give, and do you know of other instances?

¹¹ Many aged Christian women provide spiritual and emotional help by being “teachers of what is good,” so that “they may recall the young women to their senses” by offering them understanding counsel. (Titus 2:3-5) As an example, one single mother was in tears after hearing a Bible lecture about marriage. An older Christian woman asked what was wrong. “I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself,” was the tearful reply. The older woman began to talk with her. She knew how the depressed one felt, because she herself had been abandoned by her husband 20 years earlier. The younger woman remarked: “She was my biggest help. She talked to me a lot and invited me to share with her in the preaching work. She’s been very dear to me.” Many mature Christian women have reached out to such ones and offered them a “shoulder to cry on,” even discussing very personal problems that a Christian man, by himself, could not appropriately handle.

ELDERS​—MAKE THE ‘HEART OF WIDOWS GLAD’

12. How can elders ‘make the heart of widows glad’?

¹² “The heart of the widow I would make glad,” said Job of pre-Christian times. (Job 29:13) He “felt” the pain experienced by widows. Rather than adding to it by a thoughtless word or deed, he acted to cheer them up inside​—in the heart. Elders of Christian congregations today can do likewise by reassuring such ones that the congregation is a warmhearted family, by really making them feel a part of it. The overseers may share a comforting scripture that shows the blessings resulting from faithfulness. “Fellow feeling” will help them to try to understand the tremendous emotional and mental pressures that plague many single parents. (1 Pet. 3:8) Consequently, needy ones will feel free to come to them for help. Each of these spiritual men can truly be like “a place of concealment from the rainstorm, like streams of water in a waterless country.”​—Isa. 32:1, 2.

13. Why may single parents approach elders for help in making important decisions, and what kind of help should be given?

¹³ The Bible foretold that God would restore capable “counselors” among his ancient people. (Isa. 1:26) Similarly, today single parents may look to elders for counsel in making important decisions. When approached, elders should provide “skillful direction,” helping the inquirer to recognize the Bible principles involved in the matter under consideration. However, the role of an elder or anyone else approached for help is that of a ‘counselor,’ not a decision-maker for others.​—Prov. 11:14; Gal. 6:5.