16. Why might an innocent mate choose not to divorce the guilty one?

¹⁶ However, in this regard it must be observed that God’s law does not require an innocent mate to obtain a divorce. Circumstances may make it a fine thing for the innocent one to forgive the guilty one, especially if that one is humbly and sincerely repentant. True, unfaithfulness on the part of one’s mate might be quite a humiliating experience​—that one’s mate has looked elsewhere for pleasure and satisfaction. But many a loving wife and mother has put up with a selfish or even an unfaithful husband for the sake of her children.

A Christian is thrown in the way of temptation at his or her place of employment, being surrounded by persons who are not governed by Bible principles and who may appear physically attractive. So one must continually be on guard, exercising self-control and keeping contacts with those of the opposite sex, other than one’s marriage mate, on a businesslike basis. Also to be guarded against is the media​—newspapers, magazines, television and motion pictures. Do not, by means of TV, in effect invite into your home fornicators, adulterers and suchlike individuals. Nor should we overlook the fact that overindulgence in rich food and liquor may cause a Christian, and especially a brother, to become more easily aroused. Practice self-control in all aspects of life! “Hate what is bad.” “Abhor what is wicked.”​—Ps. 97:10; Rom. 12:9.

19. How should matters be viewed by those whose marriage leaves something to be desired?

¹⁹ Then again, it may well be that some marriage mates did not use the best judgment in choosing each other. They may find that they are not as compatible as they would like to be, or they may be disappointed in the more intimate aspects of marriage. In that case, it is a matter of making the best of the situation, thus honoring and vindicating Jehovah’s arrangement. The Bible speaks approvingly of the one ‘who has sworn to what is bad for himself and yet does not change.’ (Ps. 15:4) Simply stated, it is a matter of taking the bitter with the sweet. This calls to mind an elder who was widely known and very well liked by many of his brothers and sisters. He had married before he became a Witness and his unbelieving wife did all she could to make life miserable for him. Once asked about it, he replied, “She made a man out of me.” To keep putting up with her, he had to learn to be long-suffering and exercise great self-control. And he had the satisfaction of knowing that he was heeding the apostle Paul’s advice.​—1 Cor. 7:12-16.

20. What are some circumstances that might contribute toward one’s adulterously divorcing one’s mate?

²⁰ However, it does appear that at times a divorce on the ground of adultery could have been avoided had the “innocent” mate shown more empathy, wisdom, affection, understanding.