When Families Decay

THE family is the oldest and most basic unit of society. It provides a protective framework for rearing a nation’s youth. Yet you have probably seen serious problems in many families.

What happens when the family weakens and begins to break down? The magazine U.S. News & World Report of March 13, 1978, observed:

“The family is the core strength of our society. If it collapses our society collapses​—unless we provide a strong, reasonable alternative.”

But, really, have you noted any successful alternatives to the family? What do you think of the various experimental “familylike” relationships that are popular today?

For example, homosexual “families,” even some with adopted children, have sprung up. So has communal ‘group marriage,’ where sexual partners are shared along with the rearing of resulting children. ‘Open marriage,’ too, is being tried​—legally married persons agreeing to permit each other sexual relations with outside partners. And especially are there millions of ‘no-contract marriages,’ where couples simply live together without the formality of legal marriage.

Examine the Fruitage

Yet what has been the fruitage of these alternatives to the family? Generally, it has not been good. For example, youths practicing the so-called new morality have produced an epidemic of teen-age pregnancies, costing governments billions of dollars annually in medical and welfare bills​—for which you, as a taxpayer, must pay.

The fact is, these alternative living arrangements reflect a decay of proved values. This is a matter that affects all of us, sooner or later, as noted in the striking observation of the 1978 World Book Encyclopedia:

“Entire civilizations have survived or disappeared, depending on whether family life was strong or weak.”

Is this really true?

Well, historians indicate that in ancient Greece moral decay destroyed the family. After noting the variant life-styles of people then, historian Will Durant writes: “We have tried to show that the essential cause of the Roman conquest of Greece was the disintegration of Greek civilization from within. No great nation is ever conquered until it has destroyed itself.”

This also proved true with Rome. Durant tells of the strength of the family in earlier Roman times, how it hardened the people’s character and made the nation strong. Then, as the centuries rolled by, the family life of Romans weakened and that nation’s strength waned.

Now some look at our present society and wonder whether history may not be repeating itself on a global scale. Is the family really in decay today?

Family Decay Today​—How Serious the Consequences?

WORLD WIDE, families are coming apart at the seams. Perhaps never before has there been so much domestic trouble.

Divorce figures for the United States and Canada given below only illustrate the severity of the problem that exists elsewhere too. Other countries have as high or higher a rate of increase in divorce.

The breakup of the family, the basic unit of society, might be compared to the malfunction of the cell, the basic unit of the human body. When enough cells become sick​—go “haywire”—​the whole body is adversely affected. The breakup of enough families can similarly lead to the decay of an entire civilization.

Meyer Elkin, an expert on family problems, warns: “We are now raising a generation of children from broken homes​—and creating a social time bomb.”

Really, how serious are the consequences of family decay? The decay of the family is given as a major cause of the following:

SCHOOL VIOLENCE

“In view of the deterioration of the family, it is no wonder that in one year [in the U.S.A.] 70,000 assaults were made on teachers, 100 murders were committed in the schools, and a billion dollars’ worth of property damage was done to the schools,” declares Dr. Harold V. Roth, senior psychiatrist at the Menninger Foundation.

SUICIDE EPIDEMIC

On the average, every week more than 16 youngsters commit suicide in Japan. In West Germany, 1,468 young persons killed themselves in a recent year. Some 5,000 young Americans commit suicide each year​—13 a day!

“A lot of kids feel the traditional sources of support don’t exist any more,” explains Dr. Arthur Froese, head of an adolescent psychiatric unit. “The family’s more mobile, more mothers are working and granny isn’t down the block baking cookies after school.”

CHILD PROSTITUTION

According to a report by the U.N. Subcommission on Human Rights, in just one South American country about 50,000 children are prostitutes. Child prostitution has become epidemic world wide. Why? “Many who become prostitutes typically are the products of broken homes,” notes the Detroit News of May 16, 1978. In some studies 25 percent of prostitutes had incestuous backgrounds.

WORLDWIDE DRUG ABUSE

Drug abuse is growing in many nations throughout the world, particularly among youths. Italy reportedly has 200,000 addicts, England 2,000,000, and the United States 6,000,000. “A consistent finding in the drug user,” says one leading psychiatrist, “is the absent father during the formative childhood years.”

BRUTALITY IN THE HOME

“You are more likely to get killed, injured or physically attacked in your home by someone you are related to, than in any other social context,” states sociologist Richard Gelles.

In the U.S.A., some 2,000 children are killed each year by their parents; nearly 1,000,000 injured. There are also about 2,000 murders annually involving husbands and wives. This is a consequence of deteriorating conditions in the family.

OLDER ONES UNWANTED

No longer is it common for a family of children, parents and grandparents to live together. Over 6,500,000 Americans live alone. Often aging, older relatives are needlessly put away in old-folks homes or otherwise shunted aside. The result​—loneliness and an early death for many.

RAMPANT VD

In Italy, of 1,968,984 young men called up for national service, nearly 65,000 were found to have syphilis. Those between the ages of 15 and 19 account for 25 percent of the million cases of gonorrhea reported in the U.S.A. each year. Daily, some 5,750 girls are absent from school in the U.S.A. because of gonorrhea. The breakdown of the family is given as a major cause of the tremendous sexual promiscuity today.

MILLIONS OF ALCOHOLICS

Many countries have literally millions of alcoholics. Alcoholism is reportedly now killing 40,000 people a year in France. In the U.S.A. one out of five high school students gets drunk at least once a week. Family trouble and unhappiness have been identified as root causes of alcoholism.

CHILD PREGNANCY

Every year about 30,000 girls age 14 and younger get pregnant in the U.S.A.; the total teen-age pregnancies number about a million annually. Of these, some 600,000 have their babies​—two out of every three of them bear their babies out of wedlock. In Canada over 1,000 teen-agers a week get pregnant. And in New Zealand more than one baby in every five is illegitimate​—another sad consequence of the family decay.

Clearly, the decay of the family is having widespread and disastrous consequences. It is indeed frightening to consider hundreds of thousands of teen-age mothers trying to rear their children without a husband. But that is what is happening.

Furthermore, one out of every three British brides under 20 is pregnant on her wedding day. In the U.S. almost one quarter of all newlywed women under 25 either had a child before marriage or were pregnant when they got married. This situation is bound to place a financial and emotional strain on most of these new families.

In some countries now a large percentage of mothers with school-age children are employed​—in the U.S. more than 50 percent are. Since fathers also work, children usually fail to receive the parental guidance they need. As Professor Urie Bronfenbrenner noted: “If there’s any reliable predictor of trouble, it probably begins with children coming home to an empty house.”

Since divorce, separation, adultery and the number of parents simply walking away from family responsibilities have become ever more common, social scientists warn that the family may not survive this century. And some fear that the spreading cancer of family breakdown will lead to the decay of civilization itself.

What has led to the decay of family life? What can be done about it?

[Chart on page 4]

TOTAL DIVORCES

U.S.A. Canada

1960 393,000 6,980

1965 479,000 8,974

1970 708,000 29,775

1976 1,083,000 54,207

Why the Family Decay

ABOUT 80 or 90 years ago most persons lived on small farms or in rural communities. Today’s largely urban society, with its many technological marvels, represents a radical change in people’s life-style. Could it be that this change is related to the decay of the family?

Well, life has often become very impersonal in modern cities. There is less caring about the welfare of others than years ago. To illustrate: An old man lay dying on a sidewalk in Oklahoma City. He was bleeding profusely and his tongue was sticking out. A newspaper reported:

“Hundreds of pedestrians walked past him. Some stepped over his body. Scores of drivers drove past without stopping.

“One passing driver, lawyer Henry W. Nichols Jr., stopped to administer first aid to the victim, later identified as Clinton Collins, 77, of suburban Bethany. And while he did, the crowds passed by oblivious, ignoring appeals for help.”

Sad, isn’t it? Yet, unfortunately, happenings like this have become rather common. And the uncaring attitude of people is bound to have an effect on their families. Why is there such lack of concern for others?

Change in Attitudes

It’s due to a basic change in people’s attitudes. And modern technology has contributed to these attitude changes. How so? Well, to sell its many new products, the world makes people feel that happiness is dependent upon having these things. The message everywhere proclaimed is: ‘You only live once, so get all you can NOW.’

People are thus taught to think first of their own satisfaction and pleasure. The result is today’s “me” society. Eminent philosophers at a think-tank conference last summer were evidently worried by the consequences of such thinking. “Too many individuals consider the future to be only one or two years and do not think about what’s beyond,” explained conference moderator Alfred E. Koenig. “There is really very little concern or effort devoted to that which is well down the road.”

Yes, the future has become so uncertain that many ‘live for the moment,’ trying to get all they can out of life now. What effect has this pursuit of immediate pleasure had upon the family?

Effect on the Family

Well, due to worldly propaganda, many persons getting married today think principally of their own personal pleasure. Often enjoyment of sex becomes an overriding concern. Thus, expectations for marital bliss are raised to a level that realization does not fulfill. So couples quickly divorce and seek pleasure in another relationship.

Even persons married for a long time have been victimized by the “me” society’s emphasis on self-gratification. Many are led to think that they are missing out on something, that real pleasure can be found with another sexual partner. Dr. Robert Taylor, who has written extensively on the matter, said: “I believe the ‘me’ philosophy is contributing to the high divorce rate we have now.”

Perhaps the greatest sufferers have been the children. Concerned with their own gratification, many parents have been inclined to sacrifice little of themselves for their young ones. A few years ago the Detroit Free Press noted:

“A mother in the suburbs, her children nearly grown, says she notices a difference in young married couples, those near age 30. They seem so selfish, so self-involved, she says. Money, careers and self come first. The couples don’t care about children, she says, they care only about things.”

Setting the stage for this “me” philosophy was the so-called new morality, which asserts: “Nothing can of itself always be labeled as ‘wrong.’” According to this view, sex relations before marriage can be alright, as can sex with persons other than one’s marriage mate. It all depends on the situation, so it is claimed. But the effect of such views has been disastrous​—contributing to a real decay of the family.

Why the Family’s Origin Is a Factor

Modern technology’s marvelous inventions have made possible the enjoyment of many pleasures, and the new morality was supposed to “free” people so they could enjoy them to the full. Yet there are fewer families now that are happy and content than there were years ago before the advent of modern technology. What’s the problem?

Basically, it is this: Humans, flattered with their own wisdom and accomplishments, advanced the idea that marriage and the family are simply of human origin, that they sort of evolved over the ages to fill a human need. But this is a serious error that is at the very root of today’s disastrous family breakdown.

Why so? Because love and marriage, along with family and children, are of a higher origin. The One who created the first man and woman gave them powers of reproduction and joined them together to be a family. (Gen. 2:21-24; Matt. 19:4-6) It was Jehovah God’s stated purpose for this family to increase, producing many other families until the earth would be filled.​—Gen. 1:28.

Is it not reasonable that the Originator of the family knows better than anyone else how to make a success of family life? Actually, a basic cause of family unhappiness is the failure of humans to apply the practical direction that our Creator has had recorded for them in the Bible. Is it not wise at least to examine family problems in the light of what this Book says?

The Role of an Unseen Enemy

The Bible foretold that our generation would experience a shocking ‘increase of lawlessness,’ including ‘disobedience to parents’ and “no natural affection.” (Matt. 24:3-12; 2 Tim. 3:1-5) And it points to an unseen, powerful force as a major cause of such family-wrecking problems. Concerning our day, the Bible says: “Woe for the earth . . . because the Devil has come down to you, having great anger, knowing he has a short period of time.”​—Rev. 12:9, 12.

But who is this Devil? He is no mythical character. He is a real, invisible person, just as God is. And the Bible shows that he exercises influence on the minds of humans, egging them on to lawless deeds.​—1 John 5:19; 1 Pet. 5:8.

Some may balk at this idea. Yet what answers do they have to account for the inhuman, often fiendish and depraved behavior of people, many times directed against their own husbands, wives, children and parents? The only satisfying explanation of such horrible conduct, so contrary to what one would normally expect, is the invisible influence of the Devil and spirit forces allied with him.

In the past it appeared as though history were repeating itself, as one civilization after another rose and then disintegrated, with family breakdown being a feature of the fall. But today is different. The Bible identifies our time as the “last days,” not just of a Greek or a Roman civilization, but of the entire system of things. Also, the activity of the Devil and his demons is to be terminated. Jehovah God promises to bring an end to all wickedness and to usher in a completely new system of things.​—2 Pet. 3:13; 1 John 2:17; Rev. 20:1-3.

In the meantime, while we live in these difficult times, what can we do to make our family life happy?