However, it is important to keep in mind that too much mourning and grief can have a weakening effect on us. While we will deeply miss a deceased loved one, we should avoid feeling unduly sorry for ourselves. Grief resulting from learning that Jesus was about to die caused his disciples to sleep instead of praying as he had instructed them to do on the night before his death. (Luke 22:45, 46) Consequently, they all abandoned him when he was arrested. After he proved to them that God had resurrected him from the dead by appearing to them on several occasions, their joy and zeal were restored.

This wonderful hope of the resurrection will prevent us from being overcome by sadness. The apostle Paul exhorts: “Moreover, brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant concerning those who are sleeping in death; that you may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope. For if our faith is that Jesus died and rose again, so, too, those who have fallen asleep in death through Jesus God will bring with him.” And he adds, “Consequently keep comforting one another with these words.”​—1 Thess. 4:13, 14, 18.

We do not need to be ‘ignorant concerning the dead’ like the majority of mankind who believe the false teaching of the immortality of the human soul. The fact that they really have no hope is often evident by the way that they carry on when mourning for their dead. One formerly Methodist couple saw clearly the contrast between the faith in the resurrection that Jehovah’s witnesses manifest and the lack of genuine hope that they had experienced at Christendom’s funerals. The daughter of relatives who were Jehovah’s witnesses had died. The faith and strength of this Witness couple, and the Bible explanation of why man dies and of the resurrection that they heard at the Witness funeral deeply impressed them. By means of a study of the Bible with Jehovah’s witnesses they have now gained that same faith and hope.

By taking in knowledge of what the Bible teaches about the resurrection of the dead, you, too, can enjoy that hope. After Jesus “poured out his soul to the very death,” God resurrected him to immortal spirit life on the third day. (Isa. 53:12; 1 Cor. 15:3, 4) This serves as a guarantee to us that God will resurrect the dead from the grave. The members of Christ’s bridelike congregation receive a resurrection as heavenly spirit creatures to share with Jesus in his Kingdom government. After the Kingdom removes this present death-dealing system of things from the earth, there will be a resurrection of “both the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Acts 24:15) At that time Jehovah God, through Jesus Christ and his bridal congregation, will apply to mankind the sin-atoning benefits of Christ’s sacrifice, thereby restoring mankind to perfection. Then the death that we all inherited from Adam will be brought to nothing. (1 Cor. 15:21-26) Thus “God . . . will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning . . . be anymore.”​—Rev. 21:2-4.

Therefore, having the Bible view of what pleases God, the person desiring His approval would certainly want to avoid mourning customs that are based on the false doctrine of the immortality of the soul, or that constitute an ostentatious display of sorrow, or mourning to a degree so as to betray lack of hope in the resurrection. Not superstitious customs, but accurate knowledge of God’s provisions affords real comfort, as Jesus foretold: “Happy are those who mourn, since they will be comforted.”​—Matt. 5:4.

A Widow’s Advice

◆ Few women, when they find themselves widows, are ready for the crushing emotional blows accompanying their new state. To their surprise, “grief” takes many forms: anger, bitterness, paranoia, loss of sleep, irritableness, among others. How can a woman cope with this problem? One, Lynn Caine, relates her experience in Widow, a recently published book. She says: “The best single bit of advice I can give to other widows may be​—keep your job if you have one, and find one if you don’t. . . . A part-time job, a volunteer job, anything that will provide you with a routine and stability. . . . You have to understand that your mind is not working properly. Even though you think it is.”