Why So Many Suicides?

BRUCE’S father had been a successful businessman all his life. Earlier, his marriage to Bruce’s mother had broken up and he had married a younger woman. But he still showed an interest in his children, at one time trying to start a business with them. Then, when he was in his 50’s, his life changed dramatically. One of his businesses failed, and suddenly he was deeply in debt. He checked into a hospital for a few days but would never tell anyone why. Then his young wife left him. And he committed suicide.

Bruce comments: “I really wish I could have done more to help him. Picking up and starting again financially in his late middle age must have seemed just too much. And the thought of getting older, being alone and starting to live in pain​—he could not see any point to it at all.”

Unhappily, this tragedy is not unusual today. In the United States alone, statistics reveal that in just one year 27,294 men, women and children deliberately killed themselves. Besides this, some say that for every successful attempt at suicide, at least ten people try to kill themselves and fail.

Yet around the world, under the most distressing conditions, people fight hard against death. Sufferers of painful sicknesses, prisoners with long sentences, those who live in deep poverty​—for the most part they all struggle to stay alive. Why is it, then, that some who may not be in such a bad situation physically try to end it all?

The question becomes more difficult to answer in lands where people claim to be Christian. The Bible teaches that life is sacred, a precious gift from God. (Psalm 36:9) Death is an enemy, and Jehovah God, with great effort and sacrifice, has opened up the opportunity for us to gain life everlasting. (John 3:16) And yet even in so-called Christian countries increasing numbers of people kill themselves, or try to do so. Why? What kind of pressures can make a person’s most precious possession​—his life—​become a burden so that he wants to throw it away?

Deadly Emotions

“Desperation . . . hopelessness . . . hurt . . . I was overwhelmed by everything.” Thus a woman who impulsively took an overdose of drugs describes what drove her to attempt suicide. A doctor who has dealt with suicidal patients adds: “They often feel worthless, helpless or hopeless. And they may have strong feelings of guilt.”

Thus in many cases people are pushed toward suicide by negative, deadening emotions that get out of control. Often the key to the problem is hopelessness. The would-be suicide just cannot see anything ahead. There does not seem to be any point in going on.

What causes such hopelessness? Doubtless many people are overwhelmed by their circumstances, as Bruce’s father was. One group in the population that appears particularly vulnerable to this is the elderly. Dr. Nathan S. Kline, a specialist in the study of depression, states: “Old age presents a special kind of loneliness, and the suicide rate climbs progressively with age.” (From Sad to Glad, by Nathan S. Kline) But there can be other causes.

Hopelessness, Guilt and Depression

For example, guilt can be a very difficult emotion to live with. When someone has done something seriously wrong his conscience can torment him, particularly if his sin has harmed someone else. King David of the ancient nation of Israel described how guilt affected him: “There is no peace in my bones on account of my sin. For my own errors have passed over my head; like a heavy load they are too heavy for me.”​—Psalm 38:3, 4.

Guilt feelings because of a bad conscience have led some to feel that they have no future, and, therefore, decide to take their own life. Thus one young man committed fornication and then shot himself. He explained in a suicide note that he did not want to bring any more reproach on others.

Some feel hopeless because they are emotionally scarred. They may be permanently affected by a bad experience that they can never put completely out of their mind. One such person was a young woman who had been incestuously abused by her father when she was a girl. Although she was now an adult her feelings of guilt and worthlessness brought on by this experience were so strong that she attempted to kill herself.

Others may feel hopeless because they suffer from major depression and cannot believe they are going to get better. It is difficult for those who have never experienced serious depression to realize just how devastating it is. It is not just a ‘low period.’ We all get those from time to time. Rather, it is a deep emotional distress that hangs over the sufferer constantly whatever he does and wherever he goes. There seems to be no escape.

It is not unusual for those suffering such depression to think of suicide. One woman who experienced devastating depression said that, at the time, she had to be very careful. While she was taking a bath, the thought would come to her: “It would be so quick to slip my head under the water and it would all be over.” Or she would be walking along the road, see a car coming toward her and think: “Oh, it would be so easy!”

People who suffer depression also may have strong feelings of guilt. Why? One Christian woman who suffered major depression felt guilty because she could not care for her family as she once had and thought she was preventing them from doing the things they wanted to do. And she felt that God had taken his spirit away from her because she had no peace of mind or joy. (Philippians 4:7; Galatians 5:22) It was only with the greatest effort that she was able to speak about Jehovah God at all. Many have the same experience, some even thinking that they have committed the unforgivable sin.

Perhaps it is not difficult to understand why some with such negative feelings finally wonder whether it is worth carrying on. However, these are not the only things that drive people to attempt to kill themselves.

Other Reasons for Suicide

Certain psychologists believe that some suicide attempts are endeavors to get attention. The would-be suicide is crying for help, as it were. He may even be trying to punish someone else​—the same kind of thinking that children show when they say: “You’ll be sorry when I’m dead!”

Sometimes, too, it is felt that the suicidal person is trying to influence those around him. For example, a girl whose boyfriend leaves her may make a halfhearted suicide attempt, hoping to force him to come back to her. Or an elderly parent may attempt suicide to try to force her grown-up children to stop ignoring her and spend more time with her.

Such examples give an idea of the kind of pressures that may be involved. The situation is made more difficult by the fact that the sufferer often keeps his problems to himself. He may present a calm appearance to the outside world, but inside he is seething with tensions. Under such pressure it only takes a little event, a trigger, to cause a suicide attempt.

Thus a man may attempt suicide after losing his job. Or a teenager may do so after seeing the disappointing results of an exam, the death of a pet, the loss of a boyfriend or a girl friend, or after learning that a favorite teacher is leaving. Such things are not really the cause of the suicide attempt. They are merely the “last straw,” the final indignity in a long series of pressures.

A woman whose teenage daughter attempted to kill herself was absolutely shocked when it happened. But later she learned about the secret pressures that can affect teenagers. She says: “Now I know how much turmoil a young girl can have. Things were too much for her to handle and I was too busy with other things to help. Now I am trying to get to know her better, talk with her more, be closer to her. And it is working. My daughter now laughs and jokes with me just as she used to before it all happened.”

A Way Out

Suicide is never justified. But to those suffering emotionally, it may sometimes seem tempting, like a quick way of ending the agony. However, Jehovah, whose Word tells us that life is sacred, offers help to those under such pressure. The Bible promises: “He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” That scripture is speaking of the allurement of “injurious things,” such as idolatry and immorality. (1 Corinthians 10:6, 13) Nothing, however, is more injurious than suicide. Hence, there is also a way out for those tempted by this. Jehovah has provided help both through his Word, the Bible, and through the Christian congregation.

[Box on page 5]

Has Someone Committed Suicide?

Then the survivors need a lot of support. They will probably feel confused, guilty, and they will be wondering what they should have done to prevent the tragedy. They need to be helped to realize that probably nothing could have been done if the victim was really determined to go ahead and end his life.

Similarly, it is fruitless to speculate on what future a person has who has committed suicide. Only Jehovah and his appointed Judge, Jesus Christ, can say what was in the heart of a person who ended his own life. The important thing is to put the tragedy behind one and commend the dead one to Jehovah, the “Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort.”​—2 Corinthians 1:3.

Hope for Despairing Ones

“ALL the things that were written aforetime were written for our instruction, that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope.” (Romans 15:4) These words of the apostle Paul come to mind when we learn that a major problem of suicidal people is despair, a lack of hope. Does not “the comfort from the Scriptures” remove that despair? In countless cases, yes. For example, consider:

One young woman had actually turned on the gas in order to kill herself when one of Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked at her door and gave her a new hope from the Bible.

Another girl, whose hopes for the future were dashed when she was paralyzed in an automobile accident, made several suicide attempts. Then Jehovah’s Witnesses helped her to find “comfort from the Scriptures,” and she was able to hope once more.

Again, an elderly man’s wife died just before their 50th wedding anniversary. The man was very depressed and was actually preparing the poison he was planning to take when Jehovah’s Witnesses called at his door and showed him how the Bible message could give him a new purpose in life.

These people learned to “hope in Jehovah; [to] be courageous.” (Psalm 27:14) They learned to lean on him for strength, to ‘throw their burden upon Jehovah, who would sustain them.’ (Psalm 55:22) They also learned of Jehovah’s purposes for the future, and as that wonderful panorama unfolded before them, their present situation seemed less important, less overwhelming. Yes, for them, “the comfort from the Scriptures” was a real lifesaver.

What, though, if someone suffers strong feelings of guilt, or lacks joy, and concludes that “the God who gives hope” must have abandoned him? (Romans 15:13) Is there any “comfort from the Scriptures” for such a person? Yes. “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) Truly, he does not abandon them.

Feelings of Guilt

For example, it is understandable if someone who has committed a serious sin should doubt for a while whether God will ever forgive him. When the shock of realizing what has been done sinks in, he may feel like the worst and most unworthy person in the world. But while Jehovah hates sin he has mercy on sinners who are truly sorry and cease their wrong course. Such persons he forgives “in a large way.”​—Isaiah 55:7.

Ancient King David knew this. He wrote: “For you, O Jehovah, are good and ready to forgive; and the loving-kindness to all those calling upon you is abundant.” (Psalm 86:5) David lived a long life of faithfulness, but during it he committed some very serious sins indeed. Nevertheless, on each occasion, when he came to his senses and realized what he had done, he sincerely repented and approached God in prayer, confident that God would forgive him.​—Psalm 51:9-12.

While we would not want to imitate the sins of King David, if we do commit a sin, we can imitate his deep, heartfelt repentance, freely admit that what we did was wrong, and have faith in Jehovah’s willingness to forgive us.​—1 John 2:1, 2.

Is it not, though, proof of the withdrawal of God’s spirit if a Christian feels no joy or peace of mind for some reason? Not necessarily. While Christians are a joyful people, they may still suffer anguish at times. Even Jesus did, such as in the garden of Gethsemane just before he died. The Bible record says: “But getting into an agony he continued praying more earnestly; and his sweat became as drops of blood falling to the ground.” (Luke 22:44) Do you ever feel guilty because you sometimes experience agony of spirit due to the various trials that you have to face? If so, you should look for comfort from Jehovah, just as Jesus did.

But is it not wicked for a Christian to want to die? Well, do you remember how Job felt when he was depressed? He suffered an agonizing sickness, was tormented by false friends and believed that Jehovah had abandoned him. Hence, he groaned out loud: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life.” (Job 10:1; 14:13) To Job, death seemed to be a restful escape from his agony, rather than the enemy that it truly is.​—1 Corinthians 15:26.

If Job had gone ahead and tried, in his torment, to end his life, that would have been a grave sin. But when a person is desperately unhappy or emotionally disturbed, he cannot always control the thoughts that come into his mind. Nevertheless, if we find ourselves dwelling on thoughts of death or constantly wishing that we were dead, we should view this as a warning. It is time to do something quickly. What?

‘Go for Help’

A young woman experienced severe financial and marital problems. In the midst of one crisis, she took an overdose of drugs, which she happily survived. Reflecting on why she did it, she now says: “I think the problem is that I did not let anybody know how I was feeling. I did not plan the attempt. Things just built up inside until I impulsively did this thing.” Her advice? “Go to others for help before you reach that point.”

That is sound advice. Sometimes when we are under emotional strain our burdens may seem too heavy to carry. Our guilt, grief or hopelessness may be just too weighty. But we are not expected to carry our burdens alone. Through the apostle Paul, Jehovah God commands: “Go on carrying the burdens of one another.” (Galatians 6:2) Others want to help. They may have the obligation to help. But they often will not know how much you need help unless you tell them.

A young girl, three of whose friends committed suicide, asked in anguish: “How could we have known? . . . How could we have been there when they needed us if we never knew how they felt?” It may be agonizingly difficult to speak to others about your problems. But you may be surprised how easily the words flow after a start has been made. And be assured that others do want to help. Let us see who some of these others are.

[Box on page 7]

Think of Others

A young girl who considered suicide explained what held her back from going through with it: “Pain, sorrow and guilt are what suicides leave behind​—a lot more devastating and lasting than the problems that seemed unbearable to them.”​—Matthew 7:12.

[Box on page 7]

Things Will Get Better

“Nothing in this world lasts forever. . . . We know that relief is near at hand.” This thought led one individual to reject the idea of suicide.

[Box on page 8]

A Change of Mind

Dr. Herbert Hendin states that over the years he got to know four people who had jumped off high buildings and had survived. Two of them said that the moment they jumped they wanted to change their mind.​—Suicide in America, by Herbert Hendin, M.D.

They Want to Help

“WE EXHORT you, brothers, . . . speak consolingly to the depressed souls.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14) With these words to the Thessalonian congregation, the apostle Paul showed that the Christian congregation is an important resource provided by God to support those who are depressed. Any Christian who feels overwhelmed by bad emotions can find comfort and help among his Christian brothers.

The disciple James recommended asking the appointed congregation elders for help. He said: “Is there anyone sick among you? Let him call the older men of the congregation to him, and let them pray over him, greasing him with oil in the name of Jehovah. And the prayer of faith will make the indisposed one well, and Jehovah will raise him up.”​—James 5:14, 15.

What if someone is reluctant to ask the elders for help? One woman who had a serious problem was, and she explains why: “In the back of my mind, I felt that the elders would not understand. They would consider it my fault.” But after a severe domestic crisis she was moved to go to them. What did she find? “The elders are not perfect. But they did understand.”

Remember, though, the apostle Paul encouraged the whole congregation to ‘comfort the depressed souls.’ The elders want to help. But the depressed ones can go to any mature person they feel comfortable with. Youths will likely go to their parents. Women may prefer to discuss things with experienced Christian sisters who are “teachers of what is good.” (Titus 2:3) The important thing is: TALK TO SOMEONE.

But what if a downhearted person comes to you for help? Or what if you take the initiative in trying to help such an individual? There are things you should remember.

Consolation and Fellow Feeling

Remember not to make quick judgments about the spirituality of depressed persons. Paul said that they need comfort. Hence, we do well to express toward them the qualities he spoke about in writing to the Philippians: “If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any sharing of spirit, if any tender affections and compassions, make my joy full in that you are of the same mind and have the same love.” (Philippians 2:1, 2) Encouragement, love, consolation, sharing of spirit, tender affection and compassion can have a wonderfully healing effect on a depressed person.

The apostle Peter added another fine quality. He said: “All of you be like-minded, showing fellow feeling, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate.” (1 Peter 3:8) Anyone who has “fellow feeling,” who can put himself in the other person’s place, win his trust and speak consolingly to him, has a fine gift for helping depressed souls.

Major Depression

But what if someone in the congregation suffers major depression? Suppose he suffers feelings of deep worthlessness, guilt, hopelessness or despair and nothing that anyone says seems to help? First, he should be advised to get medical advice, since major depression often has a physical cause.a But whatever professional help he seeks, there is still an important role for the congregation to play.

Members of the congregation should avoid criticizing the depressed one or telling him to ‘pull himself together,’ or ‘snap out of it.’ A man whose wife suffers depression said that she has been suicidal from time to time. Why? The husband admits that in part it was because of the lack of understanding that he and others expressed toward her.

Some have found it good to speak to the depressed ones about things they once knew but perhaps now find hard to believe because the depression has confused their mind. Speak of Jehovah, “the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3) Remind the person that Jehovah is ready to forgive in “a large way.” (Isaiah 55:7) Talk about the beauties of Jehovah’s creation, and remind him of any pleasant experiences he might have had in this regard. Speak of the happy fellowship he has enjoyed in the congregation, of how much he loves his family and his family loves him. Stress that even though you cannot fully understand how bad he feels, the experience of others shows that it will get better. Be willing to listen with ‘brotherly affection and tender compassion’ to whatever he has to say, however illogical his emotional distress might make him.

If he should speak about suicide, take it seriously. And if he does not mention suicide, but you have reason to think it is on his mind, do not be afraid to bring the subject up. You may wish to say something like this: “I know you feel very bad right now, probably much worse than I will ever understand. You know, when people feel as bad as you do, sometimes they get the idea that the best thing would be just to end it all. Have you ever felt like that?” If he has, it will bring the whole subject out into the open and help relieve him of the guilt such thoughts bring.

‘Machine Not Working Right’

A doctor who is also a Christian elder reports: “Sometimes I use the analogy of a calculator. If the batteries get run down, no matter what numbers you punch in you will not get a reliable answer. So I tell someone suffering from major depression that his ‘batteries’ have run down temporarily. He is going to get some strange ideas and come to some weird conclusions. But that will only be while the disturbance is there. When the problem goes, things will be better.”

This same doctor adds: “It is not always what we say that matters when people are in this state. We try, as best we can as fellow Christians, to sympathize with them. The elders may be able to find someone who has had a lot of experience in life and have them sit down and talk with them, or just listen. Many times I have found that a depressed person got the most help from an elderly Christian sister who has suffered major depression herself. She may just sit down, pat the sufferer on the shoulder and say: ‘I know how you feel.’”

It Can Be Done

True, to the one suffering bad emotional feelings, it may seem like a huge effort to overcome them. And the last thing a depressed person may feel like doing is making any effort at all. But suicide is not the answer. One woman was depressed for a long period. She did not want to eat, could not sleep, had no energy, was nervous, tense and wanted to die. Now she writes: “Take courage. No matter how long you have been suffering and no matter what the problem is, Jehovah can and will help you. I’m proof of it.”​—Philippians 4:13.

There is another thing we can do to help the depressed souls. We can pray on their behalf, following the thoughts of the apostle Paul: “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and gave everlasting comfort and good hope by means of undeserved kindness, comfort your hearts and make you firm in every good deed and word.”​—2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17.

[Footnotes]

[Box on page 10]

Is Someone You Know Thinking About Suicide?

He may be, if he is deeply depressed and also has symptoms such as the following:

● Talks or thinks about suicide.

● Loses interest in living, in family and friends.

● Is unable to sleep.

● Has no appetite.

● Has low sex desire.

● Is suddenly calm after a marked upset.

● Settles his affairs, changes his life-style or neglects himself personally.

● Becomes depressed when a relative or a friend dies or commits suicide.

● Has a serious physical illness.

● Loses his job or is separated from his family.

Based on a list that appeared in the magazine Medical Tribune.