Deadly Emotions

“Desperation . . . hopelessness . . . hurt . . . I was overwhelmed by everything.” Thus a woman who impulsively took an overdose of drugs describes what drove her to attempt suicide. A doctor who has dealt with suicidal patients adds: “They often feel worthless, helpless or hopeless. And they may have strong feelings of guilt.”

Thus in many cases people are pushed toward suicide by negative, deadening emotions that get out of control. Often the key to the problem is hopelessness. The would-be suicide just cannot see anything ahead. There does not seem to be any point in going on.

What causes such hopelessness? Doubtless many people are overwhelmed by their circumstances, as Bruce’s father was. One group in the population that appears particularly vulnerable to this is the elderly. Dr. Nathan S. Kline, a specialist in the study of depression, states: “Old age presents a special kind of loneliness, and the suicide rate climbs progressively with age.” (From Sad to Glad, by Nathan S. Kline) But there can be other causes.

Hopelessness, Guilt and Depression

For example, guilt can be a very difficult emotion to live with. When someone has done something seriously wrong his conscience can torment him, particularly if his sin has harmed someone else. King David of the ancient nation of Israel described how guilt affected him: “There is no peace in my bones on account of my sin. For my own errors have passed over my head; like a heavy load they are too heavy for me.”​—Psalm 38:3, 4.

Guilt feelings because of a bad conscience have led some to feel that they have no future, and, therefore, decide to take their own life. Thus one young man committed fornication and then shot himself. He explained in a suicide note that he did not want to bring any more reproach on others.

Some feel hopeless because they are emotionally scarred. They may be permanently affected by a bad experience that they can never put completely out of their mind. One such person was a young woman who had been incestuously abused by her father when she was a girl. Although she was now an adult her feelings of guilt and worthlessness brought on by this experience were so strong that she attempted to kill herself.

Others may feel hopeless because they suffer from major depression and cannot believe they are going to get better. It is difficult for those who have never experienced serious depression to realize just how devastating it is. It is not just a ‘low period.’ We all get those from time to time. Rather, it is a deep emotional distress that hangs over the sufferer constantly whatever he does and wherever he goes. There seems to be no escape.

It is not unusual for those suffering such depression to think of suicide. One woman who experienced devastating depression said that, at the time, she had to be very careful. While she was taking a bath, the thought would come to her: “It would be so quick to slip my head under the water and it would all be over.” Or she would be walking along the road, see a car coming toward her and think: “Oh, it would be so easy!”

People who suffer depression also may have strong feelings of guilt. Why? One Christian woman who suffered major depression felt guilty because she could not care for her family as she once had and thought she was preventing them from doing the things they wanted to do. And she felt that God had taken his spirit away from her because she had no peace of mind or joy. (Philippians 4:7; Galatians 5:22) It was only with the greatest effort that she was able to speak about Jehovah God at all. Many have the same experience, some even thinking that they have committed the unforgivable sin.

Perhaps it is not difficult to understand why some with such negative feelings finally wonder whether it is worth carrying on. However, these are not the only things that drive people to attempt to kill themselves.

Other Reasons for Suicide

Certain psychologists believe that some suicide attempts are endeavors to get attention. The would-be suicide is crying for help, as it were. He may even be trying to punish someone else​—the same kind of thinking that children show when they say: “You’ll be sorry when I’m dead!”

Sometimes, too, it is felt that the suicidal person is trying to influence those around him. For example, a girl whose boyfriend leaves her may make a halfhearted suicide attempt, hoping to force him to come back to her. Or an elderly parent may attempt suicide to try to force her grown-up children to stop ignoring her and spend more time with her.

Such examples give an idea of the kind of pressures that may be involved. The situation is made more difficult by the fact that the sufferer often keeps his problems to himself. He may present a calm appearance to the outside world, but inside he is seething with tensions. Under such pressure it only takes a little event, a trigger, to cause a suicide attempt.

Thus a man may attempt suicide after losing his job. Or a teenager may do so after seeing the disappointing results of an exam, the death of a pet, the loss of a boyfriend or a girl friend, or after learning that a favorite teacher is leaving. Such things are not really the cause of the suicide attempt. They are merely the “last straw,” the final indignity in a long series of pressures.

One young woman had actually turned on the gas in order to kill herself when one of Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked at her door and gave her a new hope from the Bible.

Another girl, whose hopes for the future were dashed when she was paralyzed in an automobile accident, made several suicide attempts. Then Jehovah’s Witnesses helped her to find “comfort from the Scriptures,” and she was able to hope once more.

Again, an elderly man’s wife died just before their 50th wedding anniversary. The man was very depressed and was actually preparing the poison he was planning to take when Jehovah’s Witnesses called at his door and showed him how the Bible message could give him a new purpose in life.

These people learned to “hope in Jehovah; [to] be courageous.” (Psalm 27:14) They learned to lean on him for strength, to ‘throw their burden upon Jehovah, who would sustain them.’ (Psalm 55:22) They also learned of Jehovah’s purposes for the future, and as that wonderful panorama unfolded before them, their present situation seemed less important, less overwhelming. Yes, for them, “the comfort from the Scriptures” was a real lifesaver.

What, though, if someone suffers strong feelings of guilt, or lacks joy, and concludes that “the God who gives hope” must have abandoned him? (Romans 15:13) Is there any “comfort from the Scriptures” for such a person? Yes. “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) Truly, he does not abandon them.

Feelings of Guilt

For example, it is understandable if someone who has committed a serious sin should doubt for a while whether God will ever forgive him. When the shock of realizing what has been done sinks in, he may feel like the worst and most unworthy person in the world. But while Jehovah hates sin he has mercy on sinners who are truly sorry and cease their wrong course. Such persons he forgives “in a large way.”​—Isaiah 55:7.

Ancient King David knew this. He wrote: “For you, O Jehovah, are good and ready to forgive; and the loving-kindness to all those calling upon you is abundant.” (Psalm 86:5) David lived a long life of faithfulness, but during it he committed some very serious sins indeed. Nevertheless, on each occasion, when he came to his senses and realized what he had done, he sincerely repented and approached God in prayer, confident that God would forgive him.​—Psalm 51:9-12.

While we would not want to imitate the sins of King David, if we do commit a sin, we can imitate his deep, heartfelt repentance, freely admit that what we did was wrong, and have faith in Jehovah’s willingness to forgive us.​—1 John 2:1, 2.

Is it not, though, proof of the withdrawal of God’s spirit if a Christian feels no joy or peace of mind for some reason? Not necessarily. While Christians are a joyful people, they may still suffer anguish at times. Even Jesus did, such as in the garden of Gethsemane just before he died. The Bible record says: “But getting into an agony he continued praying more earnestly; and his sweat became as drops of blood falling to the ground.” (Luke 22:44) Do you ever feel guilty because you sometimes experience agony of spirit due to the various trials that you have to face? If so, you should look for comfort from Jehovah, just as Jesus did.

But is it not wicked for a Christian to want to die? Well, do you remember how Job felt when he was depressed? He suffered an agonizing sickness, was tormented by false friends and believed that Jehovah had abandoned him. Hence, he groaned out loud: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life.” (Job 10:1; 14:13) To Job, death seemed to be a restful escape from his agony, rather than the enemy that it truly is.​—1 Corinthians 15:26.

If Job had gone ahead and tried, in his torment, to end his life, that would have been a grave sin. But when a person is desperately unhappy or emotionally disturbed, he cannot always control the thoughts that come into his mind. Nevertheless, if we find ourselves dwelling on thoughts of death or constantly wishing that we were dead, we should view this as a warning. It is time to do something quickly. What?

‘Go for Help’

A young woman experienced severe financial and marital problems. In the midst of one crisis, she took an overdose of drugs, which she happily survived. Reflecting on why she did it, she now says: “I think the problem is that I did not let anybody know how I was feeling. I did not plan the attempt. Things just built up inside until I impulsively did this thing.” Her advice? “Go to others for help before you reach that point.”

That is sound advice. Sometimes when we are under emotional strain our burdens may seem too heavy to carry. Our guilt, grief or hopelessness may be just too weighty. But we are not expected to carry our burdens alone. Through the apostle Paul, Jehovah God commands: “Go on carrying the burdens of one another.” (Galatians 6:2) Others want to help. They may have the obligation to help. But they often will not know how much you need help unless you tell them.

A young girl, three of whose friends committed suicide, asked in anguish: “How could we have known? . . . How could we have been there when they needed us if we never knew how they felt?” It may be agonizingly difficult to speak to others about your problems. But you may be surprised how easily the words flow after a start has been made. And be assured that others do want to help. Let us see who some of these others are.