Rearing Children in the New World Society

“These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”—Deut. 6:6, 7, NW.

1. Wherein do men and Jehovah disagree?

JEHOVAH says it is not in man that walks to direct his steps. Men say man can direct his steps. So they refuse divine direction, accept human direction, walk into one mess after another, and prove God true. Jehovah says there is a way that seems right to a man, but the end is the way of death. Men have long taken the way that seemed right to them, and it has led to war, famine, sickness and death. The way that seems right to man seems wrong to God. The way man walks is not the way God directs.—Prov. 14:12; Jer. 10:23.

2. Into what folly do modern men plunge concerning child training?

² If the way that seems right to a man ends in death, how can the way that seems right to a child end elsewhere? If it is not in man that walks to direct his steps, how can it be in the child that toddles to direct its steps? Yet modern man, who directs his steps from mess to mess and whose way winds up in the ditch of destruction, says the modern child should direct its own steps, should choose its own way. This method is called “self-regulation,” and one of its more fanatic advocates writes: “Obviously self-regulation must not be accompanied by parental frowns or angry words. The baby must be approved of all the way and all the time. . . . The child’s chief aim in life is to be loved, and every spank, every moral lecture, every frown means to the child that he is not loved. . . . To impose fear on a child is the unpardonable sin, and I hasten to say that fear does not necessarily mean spanking or storming, for the most mealy-mouthed mother can instill fear in her children by a disapproving look.” They argue that discipline inhibits the child, frustrates it, stunts its personality.

3, 4. What shocking delinquency marks our day?

³ Well, here are some personalities that should have been stunted. A 15-year-old boy stabs to death a 10-year-old girl. Why? He answers, “I suddenly felt an overpowering impulse to kill.” A 16-year-old killed a man with a hammer. His reason, “I felt a sudden desire to kill someone—it didn’t matter who.” Another 16-year-old shot and killed three sisters and their brother, explaining, “I kinda wondered what it would feel like to kill somebody.” A 15-year-old boy told police he knifed to death his best friend at a revival tent meeting because, “He hit me with a songbook.” A 16-year-old boy killed his friend for tickling his feet while he slept. Because his mother would not let him use the family car to go to a basketball game, a teen-ager took a shotgun, killed his mother, his 11-year-old brother, his 6-year-old sister, took the car, and went to the game. Two brothers with a rifle downed a man from a distance, then as they advanced toward the injured man took turns firing shots into his body, with a final one at point-blank range going into his brain. Still another teen-ager went on a wild week end of murder. His victims screamed. He cannot stand screaming. He shrugged off five killings as “too bad.”

⁴ Last July the front-page headlines of a New York newspaper read: “Girl Gang War with Knives Nipped in Bud.” The report said: “A girl gang fight with ice picks, switchblade knives and butcher knives was averted, although battle lines had already formed, when cops responded to a call.” The battle had been agreed upon as a result of a quarrel over boys. Gang wars between teen-agers are unbelievable, but they are true. Rival gangs meet by appointment, battle with guns, knives, clubs and even home-made gasoline explosives known as “Molotov cocktails.” In one case rival gangs fought, a boy was lashed to the front bumper of a car, the driverless car sent down a hill, the crash at the bottom killed him. Again, two teen-age gangs met, a fight started, five shots rang out, five kids fell down, three wounded and two dead.

5. In view of the fruit produced by modern methods, to what conclusion do some arrive?

⁵ Men can harness the atom, but they cannot harness their children. Child psychologists oppose it, favoring progressive methods shorn of restraints. But with child psychologists to direct, why does delinquency increase? If the theories of training they have planted are so good, why are the fruits harvested so bad? We have only nibbled at the record of juvenile delinquency, but that small taste told us the fruit is rotten. Recently a leading New York newspaper ran a series on teen-age crime and gang wars, and, after noting the rise of progressive methods of child training that all but discard discipline, said: “Many of those fighting teen-age crime are convinced this lack of discipline is to blame for many children refusing to accept normal standards of behavior.” J. Edgar Hoover has investigated the causes of juvenile delinquency and claims ninety per cent of it is traceable to lack of parental discipline. A Brooklyn court judge contributes this caustic comment: “I think we need the woodshed for some young folks. But that is not considered fashionable now. Now we are told you must not strike a child; you may be stunting a genius.”

6. What should replace the modern methods?

⁶ But is there springing up around us a bumper crop of unstunted geniuses? Rather are we not reaping a record harvest of juvenile delinquents? Good trees produce fine fruit, not rotten harvests. Maybe the theories planted by child psychologists are not good trees, but rotten. Rotten trees should be chopped down. Modern methods should be uprooted and in their place should be planted proper parental discipline. Not parental discipline in ways that seem right to men, since it is in neither parent nor child to direct steps or choose right ways unassisted. Look to Jehovah God! He will direct both parent and child in right ways. He directs the parent through His Word; he directs the child through its divinely instructed parent. So trust in Jehovah, lean not on self. Acknowledge him in this matter, and he will direct your path.—Prov. 3:5, 6; Matt. 7:16-20.

7. What obligation falls upon the parent, and how can he meet it?

⁷ To parents Jehovah says: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deut. 6:6, 7, NW) The parents were obligated to instruct, the children to listen and learn. No limitations as to time or place were put on this instruction. Whenever appropriate, wherever convenient, whatever suitable situation presented itself, instruction should be given. But in addition the parents should set aside specific times for home study with their children. It might be a discussion of the text at breakfast, or a study during the day or evening in one of the Society’s bound books, or of a Bible chapter, or of a secondary article in The Watchtower, or one of the themes in “Make Sure of All Things”, or a review of points presented at a congregational meeting.

8. What should and what should not be done relative to children and meetings?

⁸ The children certainly should attend these meetings and sit quietly. Note that the attendance of children is a divine command: “Call the people together, the men and the women and the little ones and your temporary resident who is within your gates, in order that they may listen and in order that they may learn, as they must fear Jehovah your God and take care to carry out all the words of this law.” (Deut. 31:12, NW) The little ones were not to be segregated from parents, not to be shunted off into some Sunday school to have special instruction, but were to remain in the one congregation “in order that they may listen and in order that they may learn.” And to what were they to listen? To the Law specially written and simplified for consumption by children? No, they gave ear to such complicated things as Leviticus! They listened and learned, and when they failed to understand they questioned their parents later. Today little ones are not to be sidetracked into a soundproof room to romp, nor is it wise to supply them with trinkets to toy with and drop during meetings. Remember Jehovah’s purpose for ordering their presence is “in order that they may listen and in order that they may learn.” If little ones in Israel could listen to Leviticus and learn, youngsters today can listen to much lighter material and learn. This way may not seem right to men, but it is right to God.

IMPORTANCE OF PARENTAL EXAMPLE

9. How did Jesus show the imitative trait in children?

⁹ Instruction by speaking and reading can accomplish much, but instruction by example accomplishes more. Parents are examples to their children, whether they want to be or not. Children are specially susceptible to examples, having a natural tendency to imitate. Jesus showed this when he said: “With whom shall I compare this generation? It is like young children sitting in the marketplaces who cry out to their playmates, saying: ‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance; we wailed, but you did not beat yourselves in grief.’” (Matt. 11:16, 17, NW) Jesus’ generation was unco-operative and impossible to satisfy, like the playmates that would not respond with dancing when other children played the flute or with grief when their fellows wailed. But the point is that the children in their games were imitating adults. Adults held weddings accompanied by music and dancing; they also conducted funerals with much wailing and grief. In their games the children were imitating these adult activities.

10. Of what should parents be sure, and what may they expect?

¹⁰ Be sure your activities as parents are worthy of imitation. Do you regularly study at home the Bible and Bible helps? Do you attend area book studies, congregational Watchtower studies and service meetings and ministry school sessions? Do you sit quietly and listen, and offer comments when the opportunity is presented? Do you engage in field service regularly, taking your children along? Do they observe you in door-to-door work, back-call work and home Bible study work, hearing you make effective presentations? If they do, do not be surprised to see them playing door-to-door service with their playmates or conducting a study with a doll or giving a student talk to an imaginary audience. Some parents have even encouraged their children in such games, with good results.

11. What is the first requirement for parents to train children for life in the new world?

¹¹ Anyway, in view of this imitative trait in children, to train your children to live in the new world the first requirement is to train yourself to live in it. You act the way you want your children to act, be the way you want your children to be. They will tend to imitate you. Not only is this true relative to theocratic activities, but it is specially true with respect to personal conduct. If your moral standard is high, if your principles are good, if you are kind and courteous and considerate to all, then your children will gravitate in those directions. If you are quiet, respectful, honest, merciful, faithful and loving, those qualities will tend to rub off on your children.

12. With what searching questions can parents examine themselves?

¹² It is of little value to tell your child what you did when you were a boy or girl its age. It did not see you then; it sees you now. It is not so much what you did then, as what you do now; not what you did as a child, but what you do as an adult. Do you have two sets of principles, one to preach and the other to practice, one for yourself and the other for your child? Of course, adults may do things children should not, yet the basic principles that govern are usually the same. Do you whisper during meetings, yet scold your child when it causes disturbance? Do you wander around during sessions at large assemblies, yet discipline your child if it does the same at the local congregation? After telling your child not to talk about others, do you gossip? Do you tell it not to lie, then lie yourself? Do you break your promises to it, but expect it to keep its promises to you? Do you demand more of it than you do of yourself?

13. What may result if parents are inconsistent in word and deed?

¹³ Never forget that your actions speak louder than your tongue, that your example says more than your words. Sometimes if you practice your principles you do not even have to preach them. Some things may seem trivial, but if they violate a principle you are trying to instill in your child they do harm. The child may think you are inconsistent and unreliable, and feel it too can ignore principles. Your training and precepts must be consistent or the child will not know where it stands with you, will not be sure that when you say a thing you will do it, that when you promise you will perform, that when you threaten you will fulfill. If you say but do not do, you will be like the hypocritical Pharisees of whom Jesus said: “They say but do not perform.” (Matt. 23:3, NW) What they said was all right; what they did was all wrong. A child spots insincerity and hypocrisy and dislikes it; but he will also copy it for selfish advantage. So, parents, if you do not want little Pharisees do not be big Pharisees.

14. Why are parents largely responsible for the present juvenile delinquency?

¹⁴ Parental example has been blamed for much of the present juvenile delinquency, justly so. A prominent New York city judge cited two factors as responsible for delinquency: (1) men in high places that hobnob with and protect criminals, and (2) lack of parental guidance. A youth forum discussing the problem of delinquency “emphasized the failure of parents in the home and the breakdown in the moral code in a large segment of the population.” One educator said that the “difference between the morals taught to children by their elders and the actual life these elders live . . . is contributing to the increase of delinquency in America.” Adults write fiction, draw comics, make movies, sponsor television, compose music, publish ads, and in these and many other things they flood the mind with sex and immorality, thievery and murder, violence and war. These are the rotten fruits of the fallen flesh that are jammed into youthful minds, whereas the Bible says the minds of both young and old are to dwell on the good fruits of the spirit of Jehovah. It is Jehovah’s law that our innermost thoughts eventually find expression in word and deed. (Gal. 5:22-24; Phil. 4:8; Matt. 12:34, 35) If wrong thinking is not crowded out by right thinking, evil will eventually come to the surface and sink us in sin.

TRAINING DURING THE FORMATIVE YEARS

15. What anxious concern do God-fearing parents feel, but what advantage do they have?

¹⁵ This old world is sunk! It has sunk itself. It sows filth, it reaps filth. It mocks God, but not with impunity. (Gal. 6:7, 8) Yet it is amid these sullied seas of delinquent humanity that we must navigate a course of morality and integrity, and one of the most anxious concerns of faithful parents is that their children will not sink in these seas when they venture from the home port. Well, it is certainly true that, as Paul said, “Bad associations spoil useful habits.” (1 Cor. 15:33, NW) However, parents that are in the truth when their children are born have a blessed advantage. They have a head start on worldly associations. They have exclusive association with the child the first few months, and are its chief association for the first few years, before it starts to school. If the parental association is good it will entrench useful habits before bad associations make their assaults. When evil forces finally get at the child for attack he can repel their advance. Remember, wisdom is a defense and preserves the life of him who has it.—Eccl. 7:12.

16. What false reasoning causes some to lose this advantage, and how does the Bible prove this reasoning false?

¹⁶ Yet a frequent parental blunder is to throw away the precious advantage by deferring theocratic training till years later. They send the youngster out into worldly associations without the defense of divine wisdom, thinking the small child’s mind incapable of grasping basic truths and principles. They seem oblivious of the fact that the infant mind can learn a complicated language in a short time. That is a feat that taxes an adult mind. Since the infant is going to learn a language, why not let it be the pure language? Why not put in its vocabulary words that will give praise to Jehovah? (Zeph. 3:9; Ps. 148:12, 13) Why not let theocratic teaching get first entry into the mind, rather than defer it for years while inferior information is absorbed? Timothy’s mother and grandmother made no mistake by teaching him while he was an infant, did they? And they used the Scriptures, not a simplified child’s book. They were not over his head, for he came to know the Scriptures. Paul approvingly mentioned Timothy’s babyhood training years later: “From infancy you have known the holy writings which are able to make you wise for salvation.” (2 Tim. 3:15, NW) Some say small children get nothing out of attending meetings, but Jehovah says take them “in order that they may listen and in order that they may learn.” How can they remember their Creator in the days of their youth if they never hear about their Creator in the days of their youth?—Eccl. 12:1.

17. Why is it advisable to start theocratic training early in life?

¹⁷ By the impact and impression of his Word upon us Jehovah molds us as clay vessels of mercy or of wrath. (Rom. 9:20-24) The fresher clay is the easier it is to mold. The longer it sets the harder it gets. It is easier for us to be molded into conformity with Jehovah’s Word if that Word is brought to bear upon us while we are young instead of waiting till we are old and more set in our ways. The young are more pliable, and the younger the better. Jesus used a child as an example of humility, saying his followers must become as such. (Matt. 18:1-4) A babe is unstable and needs direction, as shown by Isaiah’s referring to the time “before the child shall know to refuse the evil, and choose the good.” (Isa. 7:16; Eph. 4:14) The tender years are the formative years, and forming will take place, for good or for bad. Parents must make the forming for good, based on right principles, or other influences will make it for bad, and by the time tardy parents think theocratic training should start they may find a hardened stand against it.—Prov. 19:18, RS.

18. What findings confirm the wisdom of giving training in infancy?

¹⁸ A newspaper editorial lamenting that the junior crime wave is becoming a tidal wave states: “Experts now agree that if we would prevent delinquency we must reach children in the pre-school years.” In one of the most comprehensive studies of juvenile delinquency ever made, taking ten years, the major finding was that it is primarily the home life that determines whether the child will become delinquent or not. The survey found that if the family life was wholesome the chances of the child’s becoming delinquent were only 3 in 100, whereas if parent-child relations were bad the chances of the child’s going wrong were 98 out of 100. So while there may be scattered exceptions, the general rule of Proverbs 22:6 holds true: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

19. What experience may comfort parents who worry about the effect of bad worldly associations on the children?

¹⁹ Here is an actual experience that may comfort parents who worry about their children’s being spoiled by bad worldly associations when they get beyond the protection of the family circle. A witness was conducting a Bible study with a woman in Brooklyn. Her 4-year-old son listened in. The father objected. He said let the boy wait till he is 21 to make a decision about religion. A few days later a schoolteacher came to the woman’s door and asked whether she was one of Jehovah’s witnesses. No, only studying with them, the woman said. Then the teacher told of seeing the little boy attacked by a group of children, of how she stopped the assault and learned the reason for it. The children wanted this little boy to acknowledge as God a statue in the neighborhood; it was not a religious statue but their religious training made the children think it was God. The 4-year-old boy refused to recognize it as God, told them it could not see, could not hear, could not speak, could not move, could not be God, and he would not call it God! For this he was mobbed. When the boy’s father heard about this he was amazed that his son had absorbed so much by sitting in on the Bible study and was so impressed by his son’s courage in standing firm against the juvenile mob that he changed and said his son could continue sharing in the study.—Jer. 10:5; Hab. 2:18, 19.

Disciplining Children for Life

“The reproofs of discipline are the way of life.”—Prov. 6:23, RS.

1. How are children admonished, and what question must be faced?

JEHOVAH admonishes children: “Keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life.” (Prov. 6:20-23, RS) Sometimes, though parents give the proper instruction and set the proper example, children refuse to obey. That brings us to discipline, and forces a facing of that hotly controversial question: to spank or not to spank.

2. What do many child psychologists say about spanking, but what does the Bible say?

² Many child psychologists put a “hands off” sign on children, as did one who said: “Do you mothers realize that every time you spank your child you show that you are hating your child?” Jehovah says: “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” A spanking may be a lifesaver to a child, for Jehovah says: “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. If you beat him with the rod you will save his life from Sheol.” Again, “Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.” It is Jehovah who can peer into the innermost parts of men and children, and at one time, typical of our day, he did this and saw: “The inclination of the heart of man is bad from his youth up.” The remedy? “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”—Prov. 13:24; 23:13, 14; 20:30, RS; Gen. 8:21, NW; Prov. 22:15, RS.

3. Why must corrective words sometimes be followed by corrective actions, and what are the contrasting results of pampering and disciplining?

³ With some children occasions arise when words fall short, and parents may have to become men and women of action, applying the rod to preserve the child from spoiling. Though it understands your words, it may not pay heed, as Proverbs 29:19 (AT) says: “Not by mere words can a servant be trained; for he understands, but will not pay heed.” Two verses later (Prov. 29:21, AT) it says: “He who pampers his servant from childhood will in the end gain nothing but ingratitude.” That also holds true for children pampered by parents. Children have no respect for the doting or negligent or indulgent parent that withholds correction; with such they only become more demanding and disrespectful. On the other hand, discipline that is wisely, fairly and mercifully administered gains respect, as Paul wrote to the Hebrews: “We used to have fathers who were of our flesh to discipline us and we used to give them respect. . . . True, no discipline seems for the present to be joyous, but grievous; yet afterward to those who have been trained by it it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.” (Heb. 12:9, 11, NW) Such discipline is to train, not inflict painful punishment.

4. When is discipline done in selfishness, and why must the individual child be considered in determining the form of discipline necessary?

⁴ In disciplining remember the proverb: “To act without reflection is not good; and to be over-hasty is to miss the mark.” To strike a blow in sudden anger is evidence of poor motive, namely, the release of the emotional pressure of a steamed-up parent. Such discipline is for selfish relief, not done out of love for the child. In many cases the solution may be found to lie between the two extremes of never spanking and always spanking. But this is not true in all cases. The temperament and disposition of the individual child must be considered. Some are very sensitive, and such drastic measures as spanking may not be necessary. Some may be so callous that such drastic measures may be ineffective. Concerning men these two proverbs are written: “On the lips of a sensible man wisdom is found; but a man without sense needs a rod for his back.” “A rebuke sinks deeper into a man of intelligence than a hundred lashes into a fool.” (Prov. 19:2; 10:13; 17:10, AT) So it is with children. Some are more sensible than others; some are meeker than others. A rebuke may discipline them more than a whipping would others who are more stubborn and in whose childish heart may be bound up a more than usual amount of folly.

5. Why should parents, of all people, be patient if their children are of a particularly unruly temperament?

⁵ Parents, if this is the case with your child, be patient. As unflattering, as unpalatable, as unacceptable as it may be to you, the child got it from you. In you it may be subdued, it may never have come to the surface; but it is in you somewhere, because your child did not get it from nowhere. We must face it: adults give their children a bad start. Adam and Eve gave everyone a bad start. Hence the Bible says: “Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble. Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? not one.” “I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.”—Job 14:1, 4; Ps. 51:5; Rom. 5:12.

USE OF LOVE AND GOOD SENSE IN DISCIPLINING

6. What must be remembered in the making and enforcing of rules?

⁶ This shows children need guidance; it also shows they will not be perfect. Expect neither too much nor too little. The rules of conduct should be clear to them, and fair and with merciful allowances. Remember their age, for they will act it. Do not expect them to act like little adults. Paul said that when he was a babe he acted like one. (1 Cor. 13:11) After reasonable rules are established and the child knows them, enforce them with promptness and consistency, so the child knows what to expect. But if they are spasmodically enforced according to your whim or mood of the moment, or if punishment for disobedience is long delayed, the child will be emboldened to chance violations to see how far he can go and how much he can get away with, just as adults become bold in evil-doing when retribution seems to lag: “Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is emboldened in them to do evil.” If discipline is not fair and consistent the very keen sense of justice possessed by children will be offended and resentment arise. So correct in fairness and firmness, tempered by love and mercy. Jehovah remembers our frame is dust; let us remember the child’s also is dust.—Eccl. 8:11, AS, margin; Knox; Ps. 103:13, 14.

7. How do some parents violate the instructions given at Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21, and why must time and place be considered?

⁷ Some parents are always nagging at their children, harping about things that do not really matter, building up feelings of annoyance and irritation and exasperation in their children, making them rebellious and downhearted, all in violation of the following Bible instructions to parents: “You, fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and authoritative advice of Jehovah.” “You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.” (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21, NW) If parents follow the discipline and authoritative advice of Jehovah they will not be irritating and exasperating their children and making them downhearted with a lot of nagging over immaterial matters. Do not hedge the child in by numerous, needless prohibitions, but only where it really matters. Restrain when there is real reason, but never just to show authority. When possible let them make their own choices and decisions, commending the wise ones. If they do well on an assigned task or in field service, commend them as an encouragement. Does not the Bible do this, saying, “Well done, good and faithful slave”? (Matt. 25:21, NW) Sometimes control is necessary because of time or place, not because an act is wrong in itself. For example, romping during a meeting hurts the child and others. No wrong in romping, but the timing is bad. There is a time to play, a time to romp, and a time to listen, a time to learn. So watch time and place, for the good of everyone.—Prov. 29:15.

8. What variety of forms may discipline take, and how are the views of many child psychologists changing?

⁸ So in summing up on the matter of discipline, administer it in love, not in angry shouts or blows. (Prov. 15:1) Punishments may vary according to temperaments of meekness or stubbornness. You may punish by withholding a token of affection, or reward by giving such token. You may banish the unruly child from the company of the obedient, or deny its participation in a family pleasure, or withhold a favorite dessert or pastime, or at times you may have to use the literal rod to preserve the order of the home. To illustrate the need of different methods, consider this actual case. A small boy in Brooklyn had a dental appointment. Before his mother took him there a 4-year-old playmate told him that whenever she went to the dentist she kept her mouth shut. So when his mother took him he refused to open his mouth. Back at home, he got a good spanking. Next dental appointment he again refused to open up. A harder spanking followed, but still his mouth remained shut in the dental chair. But this youngster was a television fan. He was denied all access to the set. About two televisionless days later he announced he was ready to take on the dentist with an open mouth. But regarding the use of the rod, it may be noted that in the face of mounting juvenile delinquency many child psychologists are doing an about-face on spanking, many swinging back to the rod idea. Many have been forced to admit that the lessons learned at mother’s knee do not make as lasting an impression as those learned while stretched across daddy’s.

9. In the broadest sense, what is the rod of correction and how must it be wielded?

⁹ But when the Bible speaks of the rod of correction it does not necessarily mean a literal rod; in the broad sense it means parental authority. Its corrective influence may take a variety of forms. Whatever form it takes, it should always be wielded in love and mercy, never in anger or rigid justice. Never try to mete out the full measure of what the child’s conduct might justly demand. Jeremiah 10:23 has been cited, but now read what it says, along with Jer 10 verse 24 (AS): “O Jehovah, I know that the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. O Jehovah, correct me, but in measure; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing.” So parents, when you correct your children let it be measured out in love and mercy, not in anger or full justice. As Christians you are not under strict justice but divine mercy, and must show mercy to others, especially to your children, whose imperfections and blemishes are traceable in greater or less degree to you and your forebears. And in wielding the rod of parental authority, if you have more than one child avoid showing partiality, else you may make one hated by the other. Joseph’s brothers thought their father partial to Joseph, and as a result hated Joseph. The older son showed resentment when he thought his father was favoring the prodigal son. (Gen. 37:3, 4; Luke 15:25-30) If you hold one child up as an example to another, you may make the exemplary one hated by the other.

10, 11. What is so necessary, and how is it shown?

¹⁰ Parents, it is so necessary to show your children that they are loved and wanted. Recently the New York Times reported that 34 foundlings died for no reason but a lack of mother love. A book on efficiency tells of training in modern psychology now being given schoolteachers, but adds ruefully: “Although it must be admitted that the old-fashioned school marm who simply loved children may have been much more successful in helping her pupils.” Look magazine recently said that all rules and “techniques for handling children mean far less than the general spirit and atmosphere of the home.” The new-world-society atmosphere highlighting love and Jehovah’s spirit is essential in rearing children for life eternal.

¹¹ Parents, this love is not shown by gushing sentimentality or baby talk or indulging every childish whim or acceding to every material want. Love is not pampering. It makes the child feel wanted. Children are spoken of as an inheritance from Jehovah, likened to tender olive plants around the table. They need tender care to grow up and bear fruit. They are the fruit of the mother’s womb. Jehovah’s Word tells us the fruit of our lips should praise him, and the fruit of the womb should do likewise. (Ps. 127:3; 128:3; Heb. 13:15) Do your children praise Jehovah? If you will, they usually will. Help them, show them the way, direct their steps, give good instruction, set right examples, correct when necessary, and guide them to eternal living with the New World society. Be examples they can have pride in claiming and find happiness in following. As Manoah prayed for guidance from Jehovah in rearing Samson, you pray for his guidance in rearing your children.—Prov. 17:6; 20:7, AT; Judg. 13:8.

A WORD TO THE CHILDREN

12. What may children now be thinking, and why can we properly look to animal examples for instruction?

¹² Well now, what are all you children thinking? That here is a big crowd of grownups ganging up on you, thinking up more ways to hem you in and make your life miserable? No, we are not ganging up on you, but ganging up for you, to be strong to protect you, to keep you in our midst, serving God and safe from Satan. All who love Jehovah must gang together to help one another do God’s work. If you children have been the subjects of our discussion, it is because you are the objects of our affection. All right, you say, but if you grownups are so fond of us what is all this talk about discipline, and especially spanking? Well, with you children that does touch a tender spot, does it not? But to help us get to the bottom of the matter let us look at the animals that you children love. Jehovah’s wisdom is reflected in his creations, so to look to animals for instruction is not to lower our thinking to their level, but to lift it to God’s thoughts. We are told to go to the ant to learn industriousness, to consider the locust for an example of unity; so we are on no unscriptural side trip when we look at the training some animals give their young, which springs from God-given instinct.—Rom. 1:20; Prov. 6:6-8; 30:27; Joel 2:7, 8.

13. What examples show training should be gradual, recognizing the limitations of the young?

¹³ When animal parents train their young they are aware of the limitations of their young, that at the start the little ones cannot do big things. So they start their young out in what might be called an animal kindergarten, and work up. For example, barn swallows catch insects on the wing. That is too hard for young birds, so the parent birds catch the fast-flying insects, hover near the nest or perch of the young birds, drop the insects, and the youngsters fly out and catch the slow-falling bodies. Soon they can snatch their own food out of thin air. The mother fox, after the young are weaned, brings captured mice and other food into the den. Later she leaves it at the entrance, and as the babies get bigger she leaves it farther and farther away, to teach her young to hunt for their food. Toward the end of this training the parent fox even hides the prey beneath leaves and rubbish, thus forcing the young to use the sense of smell as well as the sense of sight. In these and many other cases, as the young learn more the parents do less. So with you children. You need to be trained by your parents, and as you learn more and gain experience you will be allowed to do more and more. As you increase in ability parental control will decrease.

14. What example shows discipline when the young persist in annoying the old?

¹⁴ But what about discipline in the woods? Well, we just have to face the fact that these animal mothers are old-fashioned and seem not to have read any modern books on child psychology, because they surely do spank their young. A mother tiger was annoyed when one of her babies kept pawing at her. She tried to ignore these advances, but finally took the youngster’s whole head in her mouth, squeezed and shook it, while the startled baby whimpered. You children probably have never had your mother take your head in her mouth, but you have probably got a shaking when you have annoyed her and not stopped when told to.

15, 16. What examples show correction for restlessness and venturesomeness?

¹⁵ Did any of you children ever get in trouble for not sitting still, maybe during a meeting? You should go to the fawn, you restless ones, and consider its ways, and be wise. A mother deer will conceal its baby or fawn and instruct it to freeze motionless, and it will remain without moving for hours. Rarely do fawns disobey and move, but if they do they get a spanking from sharp mother hoofs.

¹⁶ Did you ever get a spanking for being too venturesome, for doing something in your playing that mother thought might result in your being hurt? If you did, you have company in your plight. A young koala, that is, the little bear that looks just like the toy teddy bear, was in captivity with its mother. There was a tree in the cage, and the baby would go out on small limbs where the mother could not follow. At the first opportunity she nabbed him and spanked him so hard his cries were heard a long way off. After that he stayed off the small branches.

17. What illustrates the use of discipline to preserve life?

¹⁷ Some years ago in Sequoia National Park, in the western United States, garbage was dumped in an opening in the forest and bears would come there in large numbers to eat. Once a mother bear came out of the forest with two cubs, but before she came on down to where the grown bears were eating she sent her babies up a tree. One came down, and the mother rushed over and gave it a good wallop with her paw and sent it rolling. It scurried up the tree in a hurry, and both of them stayed there till she had finished her meal and returned to the foot of the tree and signaled them down. Remember the scripture that appeared earlier in this study, where it told the parent to spank the child, that spanking would not kill it but would deliver it from the grave? Well, that is just what this mother bear was doing. She spanked the cub; that did not kill it, but it saved it from death. Had it gone down where the big bears were eating a large vicious male might have killed it.

18. Why is discipline, even spanking, so vital in the woods?

¹⁸ There is no juvenile delinquency in the animal realm, because there are no delinquent animal mothers. They do not spare the paw and spoil the young, but spank to preserve the young. They would die fighting for their young, just as your parents would die for you; yet they spank their young, just as your parents may spank you. In the woods the first mistake is often the last, and if the young animals disobeyed their mothers they would become the main course on a woodland menu and end up in another animal’s stomach. So, while it may not be pleasant for them to be spanked, it is better to be beaten than to be eaten.

19. What animalistic creature seeks to devour all lovers of Jehovah?

¹⁹ Now you children may not think so, but there is a wild, beastly creature that would like to eat you. Peter warned all of us about him, saying: “Your adversary, the Devil, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone.” (1 Pet. 5:8, NW) That someone is you, because you love Jehovah. The Devil hates Jehovah, and would like to swallow up in the evil surroundings of his old world everyone that loves Jehovah. So just as the wild animal mothers discipline their young to keep them from being eaten, your parents discipline you to keep you from being devoured by the Devil’s world. The animal mothers train and discipline their young in accord with the instinct God gives them; your parents train and discipline you in accord with the Bible instruction God gives them.

20. What instances of juvenile delinquency does the Bible record?

²⁰ If your parents love you theocratically they will guide you in the way taken by young Samuel, Jeremiah, Timothy and Jesus. They will steer you away from bad examples, such as the wicked boys that came with the mob at Sodom to attack God’s angels and commit immoral acts. (Gen. 19:4, 5) Your parents will guide you away from false worship, so you will not be like the children of Israel that provoked Jehovah to anger, as he said: “The children gather wood, and the fathers kindle the fire, and the women knead their dough, to make cakes to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink offerings unto other gods, that they may provoke me to anger.” (Jer. 7:18) You do not want to jeer at Jehovah’s servants, as youngsters did at Job. He said: “Yea, young children despised me; I arose, and they spake against me.” (Job 19:18) In mocking God’s servants you blaspheme him, as did the mob of children that taunted Elisha by saying, “Go up, thou bald head.” Jehovah caused bears to claw forty-two of those juvenile delinquents.—2 Ki. 2:23, 24.

21. What was the real offense of the juveniles that taunted Elisha, and what shows mere youthfulness does not save wrongdoers?

²¹ That may seem severe treatment for calling someone a baldhead, but more than disrespect was involved. It was the taunt “Go up” that called for divine vengeance. It was telling Elisha to go up as he reported Elijah did. (2 Ki. 2:11) It showed disbelief in Jehovah’s miracle in Elijah’s case, and was a taunt for Elisha to prove it by duplicating it. It could also indicate that Elisha should go up as did Elijah and in that way the community would be rid of him. It suggested that his presence was unwanted and for him to clear out of the territory. It is likely that adults were responsible for this delinquency, the childish taunting being a reflection of the adult attitude if it was not directly instigated by religiously opposed adults. At any rate, the children were punished for their blasphemy. As Proverbs 20:11 states: “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.” Youthfulness alone does not save delinquents who blaspheme, as shown by the command given Jehovah’s executional forces at Armageddon: “Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity: slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women.”—Ezek. 9:5, 6.

22. How may children view their obedience to parents?

²² You may obey your parents because they want you to. That is a good reason, but here is a better one—obey because Jehovah wants you to. He says directly to you: “Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous: ‘Honor your father and mother’; which is the first command with a promise: ‘That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth.’” (Eph. 6:1-3, NW) Young animals must obey to live long; here Jehovah tells you to obey if you want to endure on earth. Do you love Jehovah? Then obey him. (1 John 5:3) He says, Obey “parents in union with the Lord”; so obey yours who are Jehovah’s witnesses. If it is sometimes hard to do, do it anyway, but look at it as obedience to Jehovah. God tells the wife to be obedient to her husband and the slave to be obedient to his master. How should the wife and the slave view this obedience to the husband and the master? The wife is told to do it “as to the Lord.” The slave is told to do it “as to the Christ.” You children, obey your parents “as to Jehovah,” working at it whole-souled for his sake. (Eph. 5:22; 6:5-8; Col. 3:23, 24, NW) So in this also you are serving Jehovah, just as when you go out in the witness work. Heeding reproof and discipline means life, whereas those “disobedient to parents” are “worthy of death.”—Prov. 15:10; 29:1, AT; Rom. 1:30, 32.

CHOOSING JEHOVAH’S WAY

23. What texts clinch the truth that parents are obligated to teach their children?

²³ Jehovah’s way is for parents to be guided by his Word, and children to be trained by such parents. Do not the following texts clinch that truth? “We will not conceal it from their children, telling to the coming generation the praises of the Lord, and his might and his wonders which he wrought, when he established a decree in Jacob, and gave Israel a law, which he commanded our fathers to teach unto their children, that the coming generation should know, that children yet unborn should arise, and tell to their children, that they should set their trust in God, and not forget the works of God; but keep his commands.” “The father to the children shall make known thy truth.” “Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation.” “Apply your hearts to all the words that I am speaking in warning to you today, that you may command your sons to take care to do all the words of this law. For it is no valueless word for you, but it means your life.”—Ps. 78:4-7, AT; Isa. 38:19; Joel 1:3; Deut. 32:46, 47, NW.

24. Why should we be unswayed by old-world methods?

²⁴ We must let Jehovah direct our steps and choose our ways. The New World society must never be swayed by old-world methods that have filled the world with rotten fruits of delinquency and crime and death. Let them babble about not inhibiting or frustrating or stunting personalities; they are utterly blinded by the silly wisdom of the dying old world if they cannot see that the sexually immoral, the thieves and murderers, the liars and blasphemers and idolaters should be frustrated. If men do not stunt and strip off the old personality of fallen flesh and don the new personality of godliness, they and their personalities will be annihilated at Armageddon. (Eph. 4:22-24; Col. 3:5-10, NW) It is better to be frustrated and alive than uninhibited and dead. Those of the New World society must now be frustrating and inhibiting and outgrowing the inborn evil within them. It would be suicidal for us to be drawn into the paths of the old world, its ways, its steps. As soon as they come staggering out of one mess they go reeling into another. At Armageddon they will walk into a mess they will never walk out of. Then the wayward ways chosen by men all come to a dead end.

25. What do we say as to the old world and rearing children?

²⁵ And as far as rearing its children is concerned, this old world has made a miserable failure. It reaps the rotten harvest of delinquency sown by its modern methods contrary to God. Yet let the old world have its way with its children, but let it keep its hands off the children of the New World society! Let worldlings choose their own way and direct their own steps. Their way ends in death, their self-directed steps lead to the yawning grave; and en route to death and the grave their way is littered with unspeakably shocking degradation and delinquency. We want none of their ways, none of their steps, none of their degradations, none of their delinquencies, and none of their share of death and none of their space in the grave! No, none of this for our new-world-society children!

26. What do we say concerning our own children and their training?

²⁶ For our children we want right ways, which means Jehovah’s ways; right steps, which means Jehovah’s steps; and en route to the new world we want their way marked by moral uprightness instead of degraded misconduct, and by works of praise instead of misdeeds of delinquency. And in the midst of mounting godlessness we do not just helplessly sit by and wring our hands and chew our nails and worry and wishfully hope our children do not get sunk in the sordid seas of the old world. We keep them sailing along with the New World society by giving good instruction, by setting right examples, by administering necessary discipline. Let the worldly wiseacres say that if we discipline our children we hate them. Their undisciplined children will die with them at Armageddon, but our disciplined ones will live with us forever in Jehovah’s New World society. So who are the real haters of their children, and who are the real lovers of children? Who guide theirs to death, and who lead theirs to life? Why train our children in the ways of the old world just so they can die with it? We will train them in the ways of the New World society so they can survive with it forever. Forget the way that seems right to men; learn the way that is right to God. What do we care if the way that is right to God seems wrong to men? Whom are we trying to please, God or men? Jehovah God, first, last and always!

27. So what do we conclude?

²⁷ You parents know what you must do. You children know what you must do. Jehovah knows what he will do. If we obey him, he will do things for us. If we disobey him, he will do things to us. Remember, the meek will inherit the earth; the rebellious will return to the earth. Let us try to inhabit it, not return to it. This is the day of decision. We must make our decision, the old world must make its, and eternal destiny hangs in the balance. So in conclusion we say: If it seems bad in their eyes to choose Jehovah’s way, let them choose in this day of Jehovah whose direction they will take and whose way they will choose; but as for us and all the new-world-society household, we will make Jehovah our God the director of our steps and the chooser of our ways, all to the eternal good of the thousands of children in our midst, and the thousands more who will yet be among us before Armageddon strikes, and the multitudes that will yet be born to the other sheep in the endless new world now at hand! May Jehovah help all parents in the New World society rear their children for the New World society.

Questions From Readers

Is it permissible to cross plants or animals to get hybrids, in view of the Genesis decree that each kind should bring forth after its kind?—F. B., United States.

When Jehovah God created plant life he decreed that it should by shoot or seed reproduce “according to its kind.” When he created the great variety of water creatures they were ordained to propagate themselves “according to their kinds,” and also “every winged flying creature according to its kind.” (Gen. 1:11, 12, 21, NW) The primary requisite in this discussion is the definition of “kind” as the Bible uses it. On pages 112 and 113 of “Make Sure of All Things” a Scriptural definition is given, as follows: “A family or group of living creatures or things that are interfertile among themselves, but not fertile with others outside their family. (That is, whose sex cells will unite to form, or begin to form, an offspring; but with those of another ‘kind’ or family are absolutely incompatible and unable to unite.)” This definition is the same as the old definition once given to “species.” Then “species” was used to mean the offspring of a single specially created pair. But with the advent of the false theory of evolution “species” has changed meaning and according to present-day scientific usage numerous species may all be of the one Biblical kind. When variations occur within the one kind evolutionists speak of some of them as new species and as evidence that species change; according to their narrowed-down definition of “species” it is true, but species do not change if we hold to the old definition of the term and which coincides with the above definition of the Biblical kind.

With this foundation laid, the question can be answered clearly. There is no prohibition against man’s developing of new varieties of plants and animals through selection or mutations or cross-breeding. Any hybrids he may be able to produce through his breeding experiments are not violations of Genesis’ decree that life reproduce according to its kind. Why not? Because if plants or animals are interfertile and produce offspring they are of the same kind; there is no stepping over the kind boundary. It is impossible to overstep this boundary, for Jehovah so created the kinds. Man cannot