WHY would three young men get into a car trunk and during a short ride on a winter night gulp down a bottle of wine, a six-pack of beer and a pint of whiskey? Had someone threatened their lives if they refused? No. They wanted to be accepted into the most prestigious men’s club on their college campus and were willing to undergo this initiation rite. Thereby they would prove worthy of the approval of their esteemed peers.

However, when that night was over the three were unconscious and one was turning blue. Soon nineteen-year-old Chuck was dead from acute alcohol poisoning. It was claimed that no one forced Chuck to drink more than his customary few beers. “But when you’re in that heavy, verbal peer pressure situation it all becomes different,” reported his mother. “The whole world hates a chicken.” In Chuck’s case gaining the acceptance of his peers cost his life.

“You care so much about being accepted by other kids,” said Debbie. “When I was eighteen I dreaded the thought of being unpopular because I would have no one to invite me out for a good time. I feared I would be isolated and not asked to join in on the fun or I would be called an old fuddy-duddy who couldn’t do anything.”

Who Causes the Most Pressure?

“The people whose ways we like and the group we want to be part of have the greatest influence on us,” noted Professor James Comer of the Yale Child Center. These ones put us under the greatest pressure.

For instance, Debbie explained that while in school there were some youngsters who did not care about anything, including their grades. They were looked down upon by others. “It didn’t matter to you at all what their opinion was of you,” admitted Debbie. “But there were others who excelled in school and I wanted to have their approval. When these would look down on me it would make me want to go into a corner and just never come out. I would feel useless, no good. It was as if I was a little nobody who couldn’t do anything right.”

Debbie for some time did things to gain the acceptance of these peers so that she could fit in.