6. How does love serve as “a perfect bond of union” when problems develop in a marriage?

⁶ A solid marriage is made up of two people who make allowances for each other’s imperfections. They ‘continue putting up with each other and forgiving each other freely.’ Yes, both mates will make mistakes. When that happens, however, there are opportunities to learn from these errors, to be forgiving, and to let love have full sway as “a perfect bond of union.” (Col. 3:13, 14) Moreover, “love is patient and kind. . . . It does not keep account of the injury.” (1 Cor. 13:4, 5) Misunderstandings should be cleared away as soon as possible. A Christian couple, therefore, should try to settle any issue between them before the day ends. (Eph. 4:26, 27) Sincerely saying “I am sorry for hurting you” takes humility and courage, but it goes a long way in solving problems and drawing marriage partners closer together.

WHEN MARRIAGE TIES ARE STRAINED

10, 11. (a) How common is divorce? (b) What does the Bible say about separation? (c) What will help a marriage mate not to separate quickly?

¹⁰ Serious problems that persist in marriage may lead one mate or both mates to consider separation or divorce. In some lands, more than half of all marriages end in divorce. This trend is not as common in the Christian congregation, but increasing marital problems among God’s people are a cause for concern.

¹¹ The Bible gives these instructions: “A wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled with her husband; and a husband should not leave his wife.” (1 Cor. 7:10, 11) Separating from one’s marriage partner should not be viewed lightly. Though separation may seem to be the answer when serious difficulties arise, it often causes more problems. After repeating what God had stated about a man leaving his father and his mother and sticking to his wife, Jesus said: “What God has yoked together, let no man put apart.” (Matt. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) This also means that neither a husband nor a wife should ‘put apart what God has yoked together.’ Jehovah views marriage as a lifelong bond. (1 Cor. 7:39) Bearing in mind that all of us will render an account to God should move marriage mates to make earnest efforts to resolve problems quickly so that these do not become more serious.

12. What may lead a marriage mate to consider separation?

¹² Unrealistic expectations may be at the root of a marital problem. When dreams about a happy marriage do not come true, a person may feel dissatisfied, cheated, even bitter. Differences in emotional nature and upbringing may become issues, or disagreements may arise regarding money, in-laws, and child-rearing. However, it is commendable that the vast majority of Christian married couples find mutually acceptable solutions for all such problems because they let God guide them.

13. What are valid reasons for separation?

¹³ Separation might at times be justified. Willful nonsupport, extreme physical abuse, and the absolute endangerment of one’s spiritual life are exceptional situations that some have viewed as reasons for separation. Christian marriage mates who have serious problems should seek help from the elders. These experienced brothers can assist married couples to apply the counsel of God’s Word. In resolving marital problems, we should also pray for Jehovah’s spirit and his help in applying Bible principles and displaying the fruitage of his spirit.​—Gal. 5:22, 23.^[2]

14. What does the Bible say to Christians married to mates who are not worshippers of Jehovah?

¹⁴ In some cases, a Christian is married to one who is not yet a servant of Jehovah. Under those circumstances, the Bible gives good reasons why they should remain together. (Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14.) Whether the unbelieving mate realizes it or not, he or she is “sanctified” because of being married to a believer. Any children born to them are considered “holy” and thus have a standing with God. Paul reasons: “Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?” (1 Cor. 7:16) Nearly every congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses has married couples in which the Christian has been instrumental in ‘saving’ his or her mate.

15, 16. (a) What counsel does the Bible give Christian wives whose husbands are not servants of God? (b) What is the position of a Christian “if the unbelieving one chooses to depart”?

¹⁵ The apostle Peter counsels Christian wives to be in subjection to their husbands, “so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect.” By conduct reflecting “the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God,” a wife may do more to win her husband over to true worship than she would by being too forward in speaking about Christian beliefs.​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ What if an unbelieving marriage mate chooses to separate? The Bible says: “If the unbelieving one chooses to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not bound under such circumstances, but God has called you to peace.” (1 Cor. 7:15) This does not mean that the Christian is now Scripturally free to remarry, but there is no obligation to try to force the unbelieving mate to remain. Separation may bring a measure of peace. And the Christian can hope that the departing mate will return with a willingness to work together in preserving the marriage and will eventually become a fellow believer.