Learn From Them!

Next, try to see your situation as a potential learning experience. Consider, for example, the brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ. (Matthew 13:55, 56) Think of what they could have learned from their perfect sibling! Nevertheless, “his brothers were, in fact, not exercising faith in him.” (John 7:5) Perhaps pride and jealousy got in the way of their faith. It was Jesus’ spiritual brothers​—his disciples—​who responded to his generous invitation: “Learn from me.” (Matthew 11:29) And it was not until after Jesus’ resurrection that his fleshly brothers finally appreciated Jesus. (Acts 1:14) Until then, they missed out on many golden opportunities to learn from their outstanding brother.

Cain made a similar error. His sibling, Abel, was an outstanding servant of God. The Bible says that “Jehovah was looking with favor upon Abel and his offering.” (Genesis 4:4) For some reason, though, God “did not look with any favor upon Cain and upon his offering.” Cain could have shown some humility and learned from his brother. Instead, “Cain grew hot with great anger” and ended up slaughtering Abel.​—Genesis 4:5-8.

Not that you would ever get that angry with your sibling. But you too could miss out on precious opportunities if you let pride and jealousy stand in the way. If you have a sibling who excels at math, is a whiz at history, has mastered your favorite sport, possesses an outstanding knowledge of the Scriptures, or does well at public speaking, you must resist jealousy! After all, “jealousy is rottenness to the bones” and can only harm you. (Proverbs 14:30; 27:4) Instead of being resentful, try to learn from your sibling. Accept the fact that he or she has some abilities or skills that you do not have. Observe the way your sibling does things​—or, better yet, ask for help.

Barry, mentioned earlier, came to benefit from the good examples his brothers set. He says: “I saw how happy my brothers were because they were willing to help people in the congregation and in the preaching work. So I decided to follow my brothers’ example, and I became involved in Kingdom Hall and Bethel construction work. The experience I gained has given me confidence and helped me to grow in my relationship with Jehovah.”

It is hard not to feel jealous when you have a sibling who is often the object of praise. In Bible times young Joseph stood out among his brothers. The effect on his siblings? “They began to hate him, and they were not able to speak peacefully to him.” (Genesis 37:1-4) Joseph, of course, was modest. But your sibling might stir up rivalry and resentment by constantly reminding you of his or her achievements.

Some youths react to all of this by rebelling​—perhaps letting their school grades slip, cutting back on Christian activities, or engaging in shocking conduct. They may figure that if they cannot do as well as their sibling, there’s no point in trying at all. But in the long run, rebelling will only hurt you. How can you come out from under your sibling’s shadow in a way that makes you feel good about yourself?