Recognizing the New Bond

The Bible gives a clear picture of the Scriptural marriage arrangement. After God created the first human pair and brought them together, he established the following principle: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) So the new couple must recognize that they have entered into a new bond. They must now stick to each other as an independent unit even though they may live with their in-​laws.

Leaving father and mother, however, does not mean that children when they get married can turn their backs on their parents and that they no longer need to respect and honor them. “Do not despise your mother just because she has grown old,” admonishes the Bible. (Proverbs 23:22) Yet, with marriage, there is an adjustment in relationships. As long as each member of the family keeps this well in mind, the young couple can benefit from the experience and the wisdom of the parents.

How, then, can a husband take an active role in making peace in his family? Mitsuharu says that his applying Bible principles helped his family. “The bond between a mother and her son is very strong even though he has grown up to be an adult,” he admits, “so the son must make conscious effort to ‘leave his father and his mother and stick to his wife.’” He applied the principle by discussing matters concerning child care and training only with his wife, and he did not compare his wife to his mother when it came to housework. “Now,” he continues, “we and my parents respect one another. Each of us knows where intervention will be resented and where help and cooperation will be appreciated.”

In addition to ‘sticking to his wife,’ the husband must be a mediator between his mother and his wife. (Genesis 2:24) He needs to be a good listener and to let them pour out their hearts. (Proverbs 20:5) One husband, who has learned to handle situations tactfully, first finds out how his wife feels. Then, in the presence of his wife, he talks to his mother about the issues involved. By thus assuming his role as the peacemaker, a son can help create pleasant relations in the home between the two women he loves.