“Spiritual Words” for the Mentally Distressed

MENTAL problems afflict even some faithful servants of God. And while at times it may be necessary and appropriate for distressed ones to seek professional help, they can also benefit from the assistance and encouragement of the Christian congregation. For example, when the faithful Christian Epaphroditus became severely depressed, fellow believers in Philippi were exhorted not to ignore his distress but to “give him the customary welcome in the Lord with all joy; and keep holding men of that sort dear.”​—Philippians 2:25-29.

Jehovah’s Witnesses today are likewise under obligation to “keep comforting one another” and to “support the weak.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14) Christian elders should take the lead in this regard.​—Isaiah 32:2.

Of course, elders usually are not qualified to act as physicians or to employ the concepts and terminology of psychiatry. To do so would be immodest and perhaps dangerous. (Proverbs 11:2) Like the apostle Paul, they must “speak, not with words taught by human wisdom, but with those taught by the spirit, as [they] combine spiritual matters with spiritual words.” (1 Corinthians 2:13) These “spiritual words” include the concepts and principles found in the Bible. Applied correctly, these can do much to comfort and upbuild distressed persons.​—2 Timothy 3:16.

“Swift About Hearing”

First, though, elders must be “swift about hearing, slow about speaking.” (James 1:19) ‘Replying to a matter before hearing it’ can easily result in the giving of inappropriate advice. (Proverbs 18:13) Failing to grasp the nature of a certain brother’s depressive disorder, one group of elders passed him off as spiritually weak. “Pray more,” they told him​—instruction he found hard to apply because of his depressed state of mind.

Before offering counsel, then, elders should hear everything the sufferer has to say. Perhaps, what he needs is a good listener. Through patience and discernment, ‘draw up’ what is in his heart. (Proverbs 20:5) If the distressed person has difficulty putting his feelings into words, recall how Elkanah asked kind but pointed questions regarding his wife’s gloomy state. “Hannah,” he asked, “why do you weep, and why do you not eat, and why does your heart feel bad?” (1 Samuel 1:8) Tactful questions, gently asked, can often help a depressed brother pinpoint the source of his “anxious care.” (Proverbs 12:25) For example, in one case marital problems proved to be the cause of a brother’s depression.

Giving Help “Without Reproaching”

Distressed persons do not always have rational explanations for the way they feel. Writes one victim of mental illness: “When I became ill, I didn’t understand it and sometimes blamed Jehovah.” Afflicted ones may thus make groundless complaints that they have been mistreated or rejected by the congregation. How should elders respond?

Jehovah sets the example by ‘giving generously to all without reproaching.’ (James 1:5) Sufferers should not be made to feel that they are stupid or foolish for feeling the way they do. Their feelings​—illogical though they may be—​are quite real to them. They need “fellow feeling,” not criticism. (1 Peter 3:8) Elders should also be careful not to add to a sufferer’s emotional burden by accusing him of wrongdoing. The righteous man Job was so distressed that he lamented: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life.” (Job 10:1) But his three companions did not comfort him. One of them even said: “Is not your own badness too much already, and will there be no end to your errors?”​—Job 22:5.

Sometimes, however, misconduct is the cause of emotional upheaval or is a contributor to its severity. “When I kept silent [about wrongdoing] my bones wore out through my groaning all day long,” said the psalmist David. (Psalm 32:3) Similarly, one brother suffered such severe anxiety that he could no longer work. The cause of his distress? An act of adultery that he had concealed. So if there is reason to suspect that wrongdoing is involved, elders can explore this as a possibility. But they should do so in a kind way, not reproachfully accusing the person of wrong.

Healing With a Wise Tongue

After the elders have done what they can to determine the nature of a person’s problem, they should act in harmony with Proverbs 12:18, which says: “The tongue of the wise ones is a healing.” No, elders cannot heal the illness itself. But by using carefully chosen words, they may be able to relieve mentally distressed persons of unnecessary anxiety and stress. The elders might begin by selecting Watchtower and Awake! articles dealing with mental and emotional problems. These can be discussed with distressed ones so as to help them understand their condition better. Often they are relieved to know that their problem is the result of physical imperfection, not a loss of Jehovah’s favor.

Admittedly, disturbed individuals can be difficult to deal with, some becoming quite agitated. Yet, a wise elder remembers that “an answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) Making sure that his utterances are always gracious prevents him from needlessly aggravating the situation. (Colossians 4:6) For example, a brother suffering from schizophrenia may insist that he hears voices.a Observes, Dr. E. Fuller Torrey: ‘It is counterproductive to try to argue schizophrenics out of their delusional beliefs. Attempts to do so often result in misunderstanding and anger. Rather than argue, simply make a statement of disagreement.’ In other words, the elders can patiently explain that though those voices seem real, likely his mind is simply playing tricks on him.

Effective use of the Bible can also yield fine results. (Hebrews 4:12) For example, if a sick person expresses irrational fears that God has abandoned him, kindly show sympathy for his fears. At the same time, however, patiently remind him of the power of the ransom, using such texts as Psalm 103:8-14 and 1 John 2:1, 2. First Peter 5:6, 7 and Romans 8:26, 27 may help him appreciate that God ‘cares for him’ and hears his prayers, even if he has difficulty putting his feelings into words. Following the principle at James 5:14, the elders can then pray with the distressed person.

What if a sufferer tends to become excited over trivial matters? He can be reminded of the Bible’s counsel not to be “righteous overmuch.” (Ecclesiastes 7:16) Another may benefit from the encouragement at Philippians 4:8, which can help him to fight immoral thoughts. Yet another may fail to accept his limitations and may be discouraged because his illness limits his Christian activity. Such texts as Matthew 13:23 and Luke 21:1-4 can be used to help him appreciate that although our circumstances may limit what we can do, Jehovah deeply appreciates our efforts.

Yes, equipped with a Bible-trained tongue, elders can do much to help and comfort distressed fellow believers. Says one sister who suffered from mental problems: “I really appreciate what Isaiah 32:2 says about the elders in the congregation. They were always there with practical advice when I needed them.”

Meetings and Field Service

A mentally distressed person still has spiritual needs. (Matthew 5:3) Indeed, staying spiritually strong has meant the difference between life and death for some. Irene, who suffered because of schizophrenia for 30 years, recalls: “At times, I was very confused. But the truth was always in my mind​—solid like concrete. It kept me from taking my life!”

To the extent practical, therefore, the ailing person should be encouraged to share in the preaching work and attend meetings, not “isolating himself.” (Proverbs 18:1) Because of mental illness, this is how one sister felt: ‘I was convinced that I had sinned unforgivably against our God, Jehovah. As a result, I took everything I heard at meetings out of context. Whatever condemned, I applied to myself.’ But she persisted in attending meetings and eventually heard a talk that helped her to get over her delusion of being rejected by God.

What, though, if a severely ill person becomes agitated and disrupts congregation meetings or field service? Likely, the sufferer is not being malicious but is merely upset because of confused thinking. Still, this can be trialsome for all concerned. If the disturbance is minor or infrequent, likely the congregation will display long-suffering. (Colossians 3:12, 13) Otherwise, it may be necessary to suggest that the sufferer sit where a possible disruption will cause less distraction. Loving arrangements can also be made to keep such a person active in the preaching work, perhaps seeing to it that he is always accompanied by a mature, discerning publisher, or that he sits in on home Bible studies where his condition is understood and tolerated.

Sometimes, though, a person’s conduct becomes shocking, reproachful, or dangerously uncontrolled. Perhaps the individual has stopped taking his prescribed medication and needs strong encouragement to return to his medical routine. But if there is no response or the person’s disruptive actions continue, it may be necessary to restrict him from meetings and field service so as to maintain order. (1 Corinthians 14:40) In a kind way, elders should tell the ailing person that he is not being judged unfaithful but that his illness simply limits what he can do. ‘God is not unrighteous so as to forget his work,’ and He understands his limitations. (Hebrews 6:10) Regular shepherding calls will help the individual to maintain his spirituality until his condition improves.

Helping Their Families

Mental illness wreaks great havoc upon families. “It’s been devastating,” says a brother whose grown son is severely ill mentally. “Day after day you see no relief,” adds his wife. “It has affected our marriage, as we sometimes find ourselves bickering with each other.” Imagine, too, the pain of seeing a marriage mate succumb to mental illness. Says one brother: “My wife is labeled ‘paranoid schizophrenic.’ She hears voices and refuses treatment because she believes it will ‘poison’ her. She does not believe I am her husband and refuses to go in service or to meetings.” How can we help the families of such afflicted ones?

Paul said: “Speak consolingly to the depressed souls.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14) It would be cruel to shun or ignore fellow Christians who are laboring to care for a mentally ill family member. “Welcome one another,” said Paul. (Romans 15:7) Christian meetings afford us an opportunity to do so warmly and to express love and appreciation for those who are ‘practicing godly devotion in their households.’​—1 Timothy 5:4.

On shepherding calls, the elders can further encourage such persons to keep up family study, to attend meetings, and to stay active as Kingdom preachers. When it comes to their material and practical needs, however, the congregation should do more than say, “Keep warm and well fed.” (James 2:16) Perhaps the family needs assistance in getting to the meetings. Some individuals may be in a position to assist them with their mounting medical bills. (1 John 3:17, 18) How such loving concern is appreciated! Says the husband of a mentally ill sister: “The congregation knows about our problem, and they very lovingly show that they care.”

Keeping Integrity

“All creation keeps on groaning together and being in pain together until now,” said Paul. (Romans 8:22) And mental distress is just one of the painful legacies of imperfection. Doctors may offer a measure of relief. But many who have sought their help have had an experience like that of the woman in Jesus’ day who was “put to many pains by many physicians and had spent all her resources and had not been benefited but, rather, had got worse.”​—Mark 5:26.

Many, then, must learn to live with their problems, looking for real relief in God’s new world. (Revelation 21:3, 4) “Bless Jehovah, . . . who is healing all your maladies,” cried the psalmist. (Psalm 103:2, 3) In the meantime, the main focus of our concern must be, not to have perfect mental or physical health, but to prove our integrity. (Psalm 26:11; compare 1 Corinthians 7:29-31.) Suffering from a mental disorder may make this difficult. But many servants of God, like Paul, have faithfully served with “a thorn in the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 12:7) “I have learned that no doctor, not even the brothers, can cure me,” says one victim of mental illness. “But I have learned to rely on Jehovah.” Mentally distressed persons can also rely on loving brothers and sisters who patiently speak “spiritual words” for their comfort and support.

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“Spiritual words” from loving elders can do much to help distressed persons