Family Profile: Unplanned Pregnancy​—How We Adjusted

Tom: We had been married only six months when my wife, Yoonhee, found out that she was pregnant. Outwardly, I stayed calm, since I wanted to assure Yoonhee that she could depend on me for comfort and strength. But inwardly I panicked!

Yoonhee: I was devastated​—and scared! I cried and cried; I felt neither ready nor capable of being a mother.

Tom: And I didn’t feel ready to be a father! But after talking with other parents, we came to realize that unplanned pregnancy is more common than we had thought. Also, it helped us to hear what other parents had to say about the joys of being a dad or a mom. Gradually, my fear and uncertainty were replaced by anticipation.

Yoonhee: After Amanda was born, a new set of challenges arose. She cried relentlessly, and I was unable to sleep for weeks. I had no appetite, and extreme fatigue set in. At first, I didn’t want to be around people. But then I realized that isolating myself at home wouldn’t help. So I spent time with other new moms. That allowed me to ‘compare notes,’ and it helped me to realize that I wasn’t the only one with concerns.

Tom: I strove to maintain stability in our family routine. For example, as Jehovah’s Witnesses, Yoonhee and I were determined to be regular in the ministry and at Christian meetings. Also, having a child brings expenses, some of which are unexpected. We made sure to live within our means so as not to get into debt, which would only result in more stress.

Yoonhee: At first I thought that engaging in the ministry might be impractical, since babies can be disruptive. But really, people enjoy being around babies. Realizing that helped me to stay active and to have a more positive attitude about my child.

Tom: The Bible says that children are “an inheritance from Jehovah” and “a reward.” (Psalm 127:3) To me, those words show that a child is a precious gift. As with any inheritance, you have a choice: You can either make a wise investment, or you can squander it. I’m learning that every stage of a child’s growth is unique, and I need to be a part of my daughter’s life at each stage because once that opportunity passes, you can’t get it back.

Yoonhee: At times, life surprises us, and having an unplanned child is not a bad surprise. Amanda is now six years old, and I can’t imagine myself without her.