Ezinyangeni ezalandelayo, uHitoshi wayengasabuquthi ubuthongo ezibuza ukuthi uzafa awuthola yini umsebenzi. Ngokwesibonelo, ngelinye ilanga wabizelwa umsebenzi kwenye indawo kodwa wahle wabatshela abantu labo ukuthi wayengeke enze umsebenzi olokungathembeki phakathi. Bona bamphendula bathi: “Indlela ocabanga ngayo ndoda ayijayelekanga!” Lanxa abangane bakaHitoshi kanye lemuli yakhe babemkhuthaza ukuthi ahlale ethembekile, waqalisa ukuthandabuza. Wayesezibuza ukuthi, “Ukuthembeka ngizama ukulandela ukholo lwami kuzanginceda yini?”

Isibonelo sikaHitoshi sitshengisa ukuthi ayisibo bonke abantu abakuqakathekisayo ukuthembeka. Abanye bathi ukungathembeki kuyadlisa ikakhulu nxa usenza ibhizimusi. Omunye umama osebenza eSouth Africa uthi: “Lapho engisebenza khona kugcwele abantu abangathembekanga futhi lami ngicina ngilingeka ukuthi ngifune ukwenza njengabo.”

Okunye ukungathembeki osekubhahile kulezi nsuku yikuqamba amanga. Ukuchwayisisa okwenziwa e-University of Massachusetts Amherst nguRobert S Feldman ohlola ukusebenza kwengqondo kwaveza ukuthi amaphesenti angu-60 abantu abadala kabayiqedi imizuzu elitshumi bengaqambanga amanga nxa bexoxa. UFeldman uthi: “Lokhu kwasimangalisa kakhulu. Besingakukhangelelanga ukuthi abantu baqambe amanga kangaka.” Kuyamangalisa ukuthi abantu abanengi bayakuzonda ukuqanjelwa amanga kodwa bona bayawahulula aluhlaza tshoko!

Kungani ukuntshontsha, ukuqamba amanga kanye lezinye izindlela zokungathembeki kubhahile kangaka lamuhla? Ukwenza lokhu kuyawunceda yini umphakathi? Kanti njalo singenzani ukuze lathi singathatheki ngezindlela lezi zokungathembeki?

Uyakuvuma yini lokhu? Sonke njengoSamantha siyake sihlangane lezimo ezinzima ezingasihuga ukuthi singathembeki. Kodwa esikwenzayo nxa sihlangana lezimo ezinjalo kutshengisa ukuthi siyakuqakathekisa yini ukuthembeka loba hatshi. Ngokwesibonelo, nxa ufuna ukungayangeki phakathi kwabantu, ungabona angani ukungathembeki kungakunceda ukuthi uvale ububi bakho. Kodwa nxa iqiniso selivela egcekeni ukungathembeki kukwenza usale ungelasithunzi. Ake sizwe okulandelayo.

UKUBA LIMENEMENE KWENZA ABANTU BANGAKUTHEMBI

Ukuthembana yikho okwakha ubungane. Kwenza abantu abangabangane bazizwe bevikelekile futhi behlalisekile. Kodwa kuyasetshenzelwa, akuzenzakaleli nje! Abantu bayathembana nxa behlala bendawonye, bengaqambelani amanga futhi bengaqilani. Lanxa kunjalo ubuqili obuncane nje benza ukuthi abangane bangasathembani. Kanti njalo kuba nzima kakhulu ukuthi abantu baphinde bakuthembe nxa ungabakhohlisa.

Sewake waqilwa ngumngane wakho owawumthemba yini? Kwakuphatha njani lokhu? Liqiniso ukuthi wasala ungelankani futhi wezwa ubuhlungu. Lokhu kuyazwisiseka sibili. Kusegcekeni ukuthi ukungathembeki lanxa kukuncane kangakanani kuyabuchitha ubungane.

UKUNGATHEMBEKI KUYATHELELWANA

Ukuchwayisisa okwenziwa nguRobert Innes isikhwicamfundo esibona ngezimali e-University of California kuveza ukuthi “ukungathembeki kuyathelelwana.” Yikho ukungathembeki kungafaniswa lomkhuhlane othelelwanayo. Ukuba lobudlelwano labantu abangathembekanga kungabangela ukuthi sibe sengozini yokucina singasathembekanga.

Pho ungazivikela njani emkhuhlaneni lo wokungathembeki? IBhayibhili lingakunceda. Ake sixoxe ngezinye izimiso eziseBhayibhilini.

EBhayibhilini, ibala lesiGiriki elandise ukuhunyutshwa ngokuthi “ukuthembeka” nxa lithathwa njengoba linjalo litsho “into enhle okwamagama.” Lingaphinda litsho into ekhangeleka inhle ikakhulu nxa kukhulunywa ngezindaba zokuziphatha.

AmaKhristu ayawaqakathekisa amazwi omphostoli uPhawuli athi: “Sifisa ukuhlala ngobuqotho ngezindlela zonke.” Atshoni amazwi la?

KUMELE SILWISE UKUBA LAKHO ENHLIZIYWENI

Abantu abanengi bandise ukuzikhangela esibukweni nsuku zonke ekuseni bengakaphumi endlini. Ngenxa yani? Ngoba bafuna ukubukeka kuhle. Kodwa kukhona okuqakatheke ukwedlula ukugela kuhle inwele loba ukugqoka impahla ezinhle. Lokho esiyikho ezinhliziyweni kungasenza sibukeke kuhle kumbe kuphambanise indlela esibukeka ngayo.

ILizwi likaNkulunkulu liyakutsho ukuthi izinkanuko zenhliziyo yethu zimbi. UGenesisi 8:21 uthi: ‘Izinkanuko zenhliziyo yomuntu zimbi kusukela ebuntwaneni bakhe.’ Yikho nxa sifuna ukuthembeka, kumele silwisane lemikhuba engalunganga ebangelwa yisono esizelwe laso. Umphostoli uPhawuli wakuchaza kuhle ukulwa kwakhe lesono, wathi: “Ngoba ebuntwini bami bangaphakathi ngiyathokoza ngomthetho kaNkulunkulu; kodwa ngibona omunye umthetho usebenza ezithweni zami, usilwa lomthetho wengqondo yami, ungenza ngibe yisibotshwa somthetho wesono osebenzayo ezithweni zami.”​—KwabaseRoma 7:22, 23.

Ngokwesibonelo, inhliziyo yethu ingasifuqa ukuthi senze okubi njalo sizizwe sesilingeka ukuthi senze ubuqili. Kodwa akumelanga sidonswe yinhliziyo yethu njengenkomo edonswa ngomkhala. Kukithi ukuthi sikhethe phakathi kokuthembeka lokungathembeki. Nxa singalahla imicabango emibi, sizakwenelisa ukuhlala sithembekile lanxa siphila labantu abangathembekanga.

SINGENELISA UKUTHEMBEKA

Siyasidinga sibili isiqondiso esingasinceda ukuthi sibe ngabantu abathembekileyo. Kuyadanisa ukuthi abantu abanengi bathatha isikhathi esinengi becabanga ngendlela abafuna ukugqoka ngayo kulokuthi bacabange ngokuziphatha kwabo. Lokhu kwenza bacatshe ngomunwe besithi kukhona ukungathembeki okungakubi kangako. Ibhuku elithi The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty lichaza ukuthi abantu baqila baze bafike ebangeni lokuzitshela ukuthi bathembekile. Kodwa kukhona yini okungasinceda ukuthi senze izinqumo eziqondileyo endabeni yokuthembeka? Kukhona sibili.

Abantu abanengi emhlabeni jikelele sebekubonile ukuthi iBhayibhili liyanceda endabeni le. IBhayibhili lisinika indlela yokuphila eqondileyo esingeke siyithole loba ngaphi. (IHubo 19:7) Liyanceda kakhulu ezindabeni eziphathelane lemuli, umsebenzi, ukuziphatha kanye lokukhonza. Iziqondiso zalo zilokhu zisebenza lalamuhla. Imithetho kanye lezimiso ezikulo zisebenza kubo bonke abantu kungelani lokuthi bavela kuliphi ilizwe loba ukuthi bangumhlobo bani. Ukubala iBhayibhili lokucabangisisa ngalokho okubalileyo kanye lokusebenzisa izeluleko zalo kungakunceda ukuthi ube ngumuntu othembekileyo futhi oqotho enhliziyweni.

Kodwa ukubala iBhayibhili kayisikho kodwa okungakunceda ukuthi unqobe umkhuba wokungathembeki. Kulokunye futhi okumele ukwenze. Phela sihlala emhlabeni ogcwele abantu abenza izinto ezimbi futhi abazama ukusihuga ukuthi sibe zimbila zantabanye. Yikho okumele ukwenze yikuthandaza kuNkulunkulu ucele ukuthi akuncedise futhi akusekele. (KwabaseFiliphi 4:6, 7, 13) Ungenza njalo uzakuba lesibindi sokwenza okuqondileyo ngaso sonke isikhathi lokuthi uthembeke kuzo zonke izinto.

UMVUZO WOKUTHEMBEKA

UHitoshi okukhulunywe ngaye esihlokweni sokuqala wancedakala kakhulu ngokuba yisisebenzi esithembekileyo. Izikhulu zenkampani asesebenza kuyo ziyambuka kakhulu ngokuthembeka kwakhe. UHitoshi uthi: “Kuyangithokozisa kakhulu ukuthi ngenelisa ukuthola umsebenzi onginceda ukuthi ngihlale ngilomzwangedwa ohlanzekileyo.”

Abanye labo bayavumelana loHitoshi. Nanzi ezinye izibonelo zabantu abancedwa yikulandela isimiso seBhayibhili sokuthi ‘sihlale ngobuqotho ngezindlela zonke.’

• Umzwangedwa Ohlanzekileyo

  

  “Ngatshiya isikolo ngileminyaka engu-13 ngaqalisa ukusebenza lamasela. Phose yonke imali engangilayo ngangiyithola ngokuqila abantu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngatshada futhi mina lomkami saqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhili laboFakazi bakaJehova. Safunda ukuthi uJehovaa uNkulunkulu uyakuzonda ukungathembeki, ngakho sakhetha ukuntshintsha indlela esasiphila ngayo. Ngo-1990, sazinikela kuJehova sabhaphathizwa sasesisiba ngoFakazi bakhe.”​—IZaga 6:16-19.

  “Kudala, indlu yami yayigcwele impahla ezintshontshiweyo, kodwa khathesi akusela leyodwa impahla yobusela; lokhu kungenza ngibe lomzwangedwa ohlanzekileyo. Ngiyakwazi ukuthi ngangingumuntu ongathembekanga, kodwa khathesi ngiyambonga uJehova ngesihawu sakhe esikhulu. Kuyangithokozisa nsuku zonke ukwazi ukuthi uJehova uyajabula ngami.”​—UCheryl wase-Ireland.

  

  “Lapho ubhosi wami esizwa ukuthi ngangiyale ukuthatha isibambiso kwenye ikhasitoma, wathi kimi: ‘UNkulunkulu wakho ukwenza ube ngumuntu othembekileyo sibili! Kuhle ukuba lesisebenzi esithembeke njengawe enkampanini yethu.’ Ukuthembeka ezintweni zonke kunginceda ukuthi ngibe lomzwangedwa ohlanzekileyo kuJehova uNkulunkulu. Kuyanginceda lokuthi ngisize imuli yami kanye labanye ukuthi labo bathembeke.”​—USonny waseHong Kong.

• Ukuhlaliseka Engqondweni

  

  “Ngingumsizi kamaneja kwelinye ibhanga elikhulu. Ebhizimusini le, ukunotha kuqakathekiswa ukwedlula ukuthembeka. Abantu bandise ukuthi, ‘Kubi ngani ukungathembeki nxa kuyikuthi kuzakwenza ube yisipatsha futhi kuthuthukise lomkhonomi welizwe?’ Kodwa mina ukuthembeka kuyanginceda ukuthi ngihlaliseke engqondweni. Ngizimisele ukuhlala ngithembekile lanxa kungaze kwenzakaleni. Abaqhatshi bami bayakwazi ukuthi kangisoze ngibaqambele amanga futhi kangisoze ngibancedise nxa besenza ubuqili.”​—UTom wase-United States.

• Ukuhlonitshwa Ngabantu

  

  “Ufolomani wangikhuthaza ukuthi ngiqambe amanga ngezinye izinto ezazicatshile emsebenzini kodwa mina ngala. Kwathi ababezintshontshile sebetholakele, umqhatshi wami wangibonga kakhulu ngokuthembeka kwami. Kudinga isibindi ukuthembeka emhlabeni lo olabantu abangathembekanga. Kodwa ekucineni, abanye bazasihlonipha futhi basithembe.”​—UKaori waseJapan.

Ukuba lomzwangedwa ohlanzekileyo, ukuhlaliseka engqondweni kanye lokuhlonitshwa ngabanye kutshengisa ukuthi kuyanceda kakhulu ukuthembeka. Ngithemba lawe uyakuvuma lokhu.