IMIBUZO EBUZWA NGABASAKHULAYO
Ngingayithuthukisa Njani Indlela Engixoxa Ngayo Labanye?
Okusesihlokweni lesi
Xoxani likhangelene
Abanye abantu bakuthola kunzima ukuxoxa lomuntu bekhangelene. Bathi okulula yikumbhalela amameseji.
“Okwenza kube nzima ukukhuluma lomuntu likhangelene yikuthi nxa ungathi ukhuluma ubusuphambanisa akubiseleki emuva. Kodwa nxa umbhalela imeseji ungayidilitha loba nini.”—U-Anna.
‘Ukubhalela umuntu imeseji kunjengokurekhoda umdlalo ozabukelwa ngabantu mbayimbayi. Ulethuba lokulungisisa lapho ongabe uphambanise khona. Kodwa ukukhuluma lomuntu likhangelene khona kunjengokudlala umdlalo lowo phambi kwabantu, kuyabe kungamelanga uphambanise.’—UJean.
Kodwa iqiniso yikuthi kuzadingakala ukuthi empilweni uke uxoxe labantu mathupha. Ngokwesibonelo, kuzamele ufunde ukuxoxa labantu ukuze ube labangane, udinge umsebenzi kumbe udinge umuntu wokutshada laye nxa usukulungele.
Okuhle yikuthi ukuxoxa lomuntu likhangelene akwesabisi kangako. Ungenelisa ukukwenza lanxa ungumuntu olenhloni.
“Sonke siyake siphambanise ekukhulumeni futhi lokhu kungasiyangisa ngesinye isikhathi. Ungavumi ukuthi ukuphambanisa lokhu kukudanise.”—UNeal.
Indlela ongaqalisa ngayo ukuxoxa labantu
Buza imibuzo. Zama ukuqalisa ingxoxo labantu ngokukhuluma ngezinto abazithandayo. Ngokwesibonelo ungathi:
“Ubuvakatshele ngaphi ngeholideyi?”
“Ulibukelile yini ibhora ngewikhendi?”
“Ubusuzwile yini ukuthi . . . ?”
Okunye okungakunceda ukuthi wenelise ukuqalisa ingxoxo lomuntu yikuzibuza ukuthi kukhona yini elihambelana ngakho. Ngokwesibonelo, lifunda lonke yini kumbe lisebenza lonke? Nxa kunjalo kungaba lula ukuthi uqalise ingxoxo.
“Buza imibuzo olesifiso sokwazi ukuthi abantu bathini ngayo.”—UMaritza.
Nanzelela: Ungabuzi imibuzo eminenginengi angani usulipholisa. Kanti njalo ungabuzi imibuzo engenza umuntu angakhululeki. Ngokwesibonelo, ungabuzi imibuzo enjengokuthi “Uhola malini?” kumbe “Yindaba ungakathathi kumbe ungakendi?” Umbuzo wesibili ungazwakala angathi usumbeka icala.
Yenza umuntu oxoxa laye akhululeke ukukhuluma kulokuthi ube umhlohla ngemibuzo kumbe uveza imibono yakho.
Ubuza imibuzo angathi ulipholisa yini?
IBhayibhili lithi: “Amacebo asengqondweni yomuntu anjengamanzi azikileyo, kodwa oqedisisayo angawakhupha.”—IZaga 20:5, The Holy Bible in Ndebele.
Lalelisisa. Nxa ufuna ingxoxo yenu itshelele kuqakathekile ukuthi ulalelisise kulokuthi ukhulume kakhulu.
“Ngiyazama ukufunda into entsha ngomuntu engiyabe ngixoxa laye. Ngiyazama lokungakhohlwa lokho ayabe engitshele khona ukwenzela ukuthi kube yikho engiqalisa ngakho ingxoxo ngesikhathi esilandelayo.”—UTamara.
Nanzelela: Ngesikhathi omunye umuntu ekhuluma ungakhathazeki ngokuthi uzaphendula usithini. Wena lalela nje kuphela. Nxa ungenza njalo kuzabalula ukuthi ubekwazi ukuthi uphendule usithini.
IBhayibhili lithi: ‘Kumele uphangise ukulalela, uphuze ukukhuluma.’—UJakhobe 1:19.
Tshengisa ukuthi ulendaba lomuntu oxoxa laye. Uzayikholisa ingxoxo lomuntu okhuluma laye nxa ungatshengisa ukuthi ulendaba laye.
“Nxa umuntu oxoxa laye angabona ukuthi ulendaba laye, lobabili lizayikholisa ingxoxo yenu lanxa ingabe ingatsheleli ngendlela ofuna ngayo.”—UMarie.
Nanzelela: Ungakhulumi izinto ezizamenza angakhululeki, njengokuthi: “Ende ijazi lakho lihle njani. Walithenga malini?” Ukubuza umbuzo onjalo kungamkhuba.
IBhayibhili lithi: “Lingaqakathekisi lokho okufunwa yini kuphela kodwa liqakathekise lalokho okufunwa ngabanye.”—KwabaseFiliphi 2:4.
Ungayiphetha njani ingxoxo? Ijaha elisakhulayo okuthiwa nguJordan lithi: “Zama ukuphetha ingxoxo yakho ngamazwi amahle. Ngokwesibonelo ungathi, ‘Ngikukholisile ukuxoxa lawe’ kumbe uthi, ‘Ube lelanga elihle.’ Nxa ungatsho njalo kuzabalula ukuthi liphinde lixoxe ngesikhathi esilandelayo.”