Let Mildness Be Your Strength

1. What may we be asked about at work or at school?

HOW do you feel when a workmate or a schoolmate asks you about your beliefs? Do you feel nervous? Most of us do. But such a question may offer insight into the other person’s thinking or beliefs, giving us an opportunity to share the good news. At times, though, a person may raise a question in a challenging manner. That should not surprise us. After all, some have been misinformed about our beliefs. (Acts 28:22) Furthermore, we are living in “the last days,” a time when many are “not open to any agreement” and are even “fierce.”​—2 Tim. 3:1, 3.

2. Why is mildness desirable?

² You may wonder, ‘How can I be gentle and gracious when someone challenges my Bible-based beliefs?’ What will help you? In a word​—mildness. A mild person does not get easily upset but is able to control himself when faced with frustrations and uncertainties. (Prov. 16:32) You may feel, though, that it is easier said than done. How can you develop mildness? How can you respond with mildness when someone challenges your beliefs? And if you are a parent, how can you help your children to learn how to defend their faith with mildness? Let us see.

HOW TO DEVELOP MILDNESS

3. Why can it be said that mildness is a strength, not a weakness? (2 Timothy 2:24, 25)

³ Mildness is a strength, not a weakness. It takes inner strength to keep calm when facing a trying situation. Mildness is one aspect of “the fruitage of the spirit.” (Gal. 5:22, 23) A form of the Greek word rendered “mildness” was at times used to describe a wild horse that had been tamed. Picture a wild horse that becomes gentle. That is, gentle, yet strong. As humans, how can we develop mildness and at the same time be strong? Not by sheer willpower. A key is praying for God’s spirit, asking him to help us cultivate this beautiful quality. Experience shows that this can be done. Many Witnesses have responded mildly when confronted by opposers, leaving a favorable impression on observers. (Read 2 Timothy 2:24, 25.) How can you make mildness one of your strengths?

4. What can we learn about mildness from the example of Isaac?

⁴ The Bible contains many accounts that highlight the value of mildness. Take the example of Isaac. When he settled in the Philistine territory of Gerar, his envious neighbors stopped up wells that his father’s servants had dug. Instead of fighting for his rights, Isaac moved his household farther away and dug other wells. (Gen. 26:12-18) But the Philistines claimed that the water in this location was also theirs. Despite this, Isaac acted peacefully. (Gen. 26:19-25) What helped him to remain mild even when others seemed determined to provoke him? He surely observed the example of his parents, learning much from the peaceful ways of Abraham and “the quiet and mild spirit” of Sarah.​—1 Pet. 3:4-6; Gen. 21:22-34.

5. What example shows that Christian parents can teach children the value of mildness?

⁵ Christian parents, be assured that you too can teach your children the value of mildness. Consider the example of Maxence, age 17. He had to deal with angry people at school and in the ministry. His parents patiently worked with him to help him cultivate mildness. They say, “Maxence has come to understand that when provoked it takes more strength to hold back than to respond with anger or violence.” Happily, mildness has become Maxence’s strength.

6. How can prayer help us to improve in showing mildness?

⁶ What can we do when we are facing a tense situation, such as when someone slanders the name of our God or ridicules the Bible? We should ask Jehovah for his spirit and for his wisdom to respond in a mild way. What if we later realize that we did not respond as well as we should have? We can pray again about the matter and think of how we can do better the next time. In turn, Jehovah will grant us his holy spirit so that we can control our temper and show mildness.

7. How can memorizing certain scriptures help us to control our speech and reaction? (Proverbs 15:1, 18)

⁷ Some Bible verses can help us to control our speech when confronted with difficult situations. God’s spirit can bring those texts to mind. (John 14:26) For example, the principles we find in the book of Proverbs can help us to be mild. (Read Proverbs 15:1, 18.) That Bible book also reveals the benefits of showing restraint in tense situations.​—Prov. 10:19; 17:27; 21:23; 25:15.

HOW INSIGHT HELPS US TO BE MILD

8. Why should we consider what may have caused a person to challenge our beliefs?

⁸ Insight can also help us. (Prov. 19:11) An insightful person shows restraint when challenged about his beliefs. Some questions or challenges are like icebergs, the greater part lying below the surface. For example, a hidden motive or concern may prompt a person to ask a question. So before answering, we do well to realize that we may not know what has moved the person to raise the issue.​—Prov. 16:23.

9. How did Gideon show insight and mildness when dealing with the men of Ephraim?

⁹ Consider how Gideon responded to the men of Ephraim. They angrily challenged him as to why he did not call them earlier to join him in the fight against Israel’s enemies. Was there an underlying reason for their contentious attitude? Hurt pride, perhaps? Whatever the case, Gideon wisely respected their feelings and gave them a mild answer. The result? Disarmed, “they calmed down.”​—Judg. 8:1-3.

10. What will help us to know how to answer those who question our beliefs? (1 Peter 3:15)

¹⁰ Perhaps a coworker or a schoolmate questions our Christian stand on certain moral issues. We will do our best to defend our convictions while respecting our listener’s view. (Read 1 Peter 3:15.) It is often helpful to view the question as a way to learn what he cares about rather than as an attack or a challenge. Regardless of the reason why someone has raised an issue, we do well to respond in a gentle, kind way. Our answer may then move him to reconsider his viewpoint. Even if his manner seems rude or sarcastic, our goal should be to respond kindly.​—Rom. 12:17.

11-12. (a) What might we consider before answering a difficult question? (See also picture.) (b) Illustrate how asking a question may open the way for a conversation.

¹¹ If a workmate asks, for example, why we do not celebrate birthdays, consider: Could he be wondering whether we are allowed to have a good time? Or might he feel that our position will dampen the company’s team spirit? We may be able to ease our workmate’s concerns by expressing how much we appreciate his interest in fellow workers and assuring him that we want to enjoy a pleasant environment at work. That might open the way to a relaxed conversation about what the Bible indicates regarding the subject of birthdays.

¹² We might use a similar approach when other controversial topics come up. A schoolmate might assert that Jehovah’s Witnesses should change their view of homosexuality. Does that reflect a misconception about Jehovah’s Witnesses? Or could it be that he has a friend or a relative who is a homosexual? Does he assume that we have no love for people who pursue that lifestyle? We may need to assure him that we care for all people and that we respectfully recognize that each person has the right to make his own choices.b (1 Pet. 2:17) We might then be able to highlight the Bible’s beneficial moral standards.

13. How might you help someone who ridicules belief in God?

¹³ When confronted by someone who has strong views, we should not quickly assume that we know what he believes. (Titus 3:2) For example, what if your schoolmate says that it is ridiculous to believe in God? Should you assume that he strongly believes in evolution and knows a lot about it? Actually, he may not have given the subject much thought. Instead of starting a debate about science, you can find a way to give your schoolmate something to think about later. Perhaps you could direct him to material about creation found on jw.org. He might later be willing to discuss an article or a video found there. Yes, a respectful response may move him to reconsider his view.

14. How did Niall make good use of our website to help a classmate overcome a misconception about Jehovah’s Witnesses?

¹⁴ A teenager named Niall used our website to overcome misconceptions about Jehovah’s Witnesses. He says, “I was often told by a classmate that I do not believe in science because I trust a ‘made-up’ book rather than facts.” When this classmate did not allow Niall to explain his beliefs, he directed the classmate to the jw.org section “Science and the Bible.” Later, Niall discerned that the student had likely read the material and was more willing to discuss the origin of life. You might have a similar result.

PREPARE AS A FAMILY

15. How can parents help their children respond mildly when schoolmates challenge their beliefs?

¹⁵ Parents can effectively teach their children how to respond mildly when their beliefs are challenged. (Jas. 3:13) Some parents have practice sessions during family worship. They consider topics that might come up at school, discuss and demonstrate how to give an answer, and teach their children how to speak in a mild, appealing way.​—See the box “Practice Sessions Can Help Your Family.”

16-17. How may practice sessions help young ones?

¹⁶ Practice sessions can help Christians to present convincing arguments and to convince themselves that they have sound reasons for their beliefs. The “Young People Ask” series on jw.org includes worksheets for teenagers. Those are designed to help young ones to reinforce their beliefs and to prepare answers in their own words. By studying this series as a family, we all can learn how to defend our faith in a mild, appealing way.

¹⁷ A youth named Matthew explains how practice sessions helped him. As part of their family worship, Matthew and his parents often research topics that might be discussed in class. He says: “We think of what sort of scenarios might come up, and we practice how to handle them based on the research we did. When I have clearly in mind the reasons for my stand, I feel secure and I find it easier to be mild when dealing with others.”

18. Colossians 4:6 shows the value of what?

¹⁸ Of course, sound reasoning alone may not be enough to persuade some listeners. But expressing ourselves with tact and mildness can help. (Read Colossians 4:6.) Sharing our convictions can be likened to throwing a ball. We can toss the ball gently or hurl it forcefully. When we throw it gently, the other player is more likely to catch it and to continue playing. Similarly, if we express ourselves with tact and mildness, people may be more willing to listen and to continue the conversation. Of course, if someone wants to win a debate or to ridicule our beliefs, we are not obligated to answer him further. (Prov. 26:4) But such a person may be the exception; some​—perhaps many—​will listen.

19. What should motivate us to be mild when defending our beliefs?

¹⁹ Clearly, there is great value in making mildness a personal goal. Pray to Jehovah for the strength you need to remain mild when responding to controversial questions or unjust criticism. Remember, your mild attitude can prevent differences of opinion from escalating into arguments. And your mild, respectful answer may actually move some listeners to change their view about us and about Bible truths. Be “always ready to make a defense” of your beliefs, “doing so with a mild temper and deep respect.” (1 Pet. 3:15) Yes, let mildness be your strength!