Cikwati Ndi Mphatso Yocokela kwa Mulungu Wacikondi

1, 2. (a) Kodi tingadzifunse mafunso otani ponena za anthu amene angokwatilana kumene? Nanga n’cifukwa ciani? (b) Kodi m’nkhani ino tidzakambitsilana mafunso ati?

KODI mumakonda kupita kucikwati? Ambili amatelo, cifukwa nthawi imeneyi anthu amasangalala kwambili. Zimakondweletsa kuona akwati atavala bwino. Ngakhale nkhope zao zimaonetsa kuti akondwela kwambili. Pa tsikuli io amakhala ndi cisangalalo cokhacokha, ndipo amayembekezela tsogolo labwino kwambili.

² Komabe, zoona zake n’zakuti m’zikwati muli mavuto ambili masiku ano. Ngakhale kuti timawafunila zabwino akwati, nthawi zina tingadzifunse kuti: ‘Kodi io adzasangalala ndi cikwati cao? Kodi cikwati cao cidzakhala colimba?’ Mayankho ake adzadalila ngati mwamuna ndi mkaziyo amakhulupilila uphungu wa Mulungu wokhudza banja ndi kuutsatila. (Welengani Miyambo 3:5, 6.) Ayenela kucita zimenezo kuti akhalebe m’cikondi ca Mulungu. Tsopano tiyeni tione mayankho a m’Baibulo a mafunso anai awa: Kodi zifukwa zabwino zoloŵela m’banja n’ziti? Ngati mufuna kukwatila, kodi mungasankhe munthu wotani? Kodi mungakonzekele bwanji cikwati? Ndipo n’ciani cimene cingathandize anthu okwatilana kukhalabe acimwemwe?

ZIFUKWA ZABWINO ZOLOŴELA M’BANJA

3. N’cifukwa ciani si kwanzelu kukwatila pa zifukwa zosamveka?

³ Ena amakhulupilila kuti cikwati n’cimene cimabweletsa cimwemwe. Amati ngati sunakwatile sungapeze cikhutilo ndi cisangalalo. Koma zimenezo si zoona. Yesu amene anali wosakwatila, anakamba kuti kusakwatila ndi mphatso, ndipo analimbikitsa amene angathe kucita zimenezo kutelo. (Mateyu 19:11, 12) Nayenso mtumwi Paulo anafotokoza mapindu a kusakwatila. (1 Akorinto 7:32-38) Yesu ndi Paulo sanaike lamulo pankhani imeneyi. Ndipo ‘kuletsa anthu kukwatila’ ndi mbali imodzi ya “ziphunzitso za ziŵanda.” (1 Timoteyo 4:1-3) Komabe, kusakwatila kuli ndi mapindu kwa amene afuna kutumikila Yehova popanda cosokoneza. Conco, si kwanzelu kukwatila pa zifukwa zosamveka, monga cifukwa cosonkhezeledwa ndi mabwenzi.

4. Kodi cikwati cingakhale bwanji malo abwino olelela ana?

⁴ Kumbali ina, kodi pali zifukwa zabwino zoloŵela m’banja? Inde. Cikwati ndi mphatso yocokela kwa Mulungu. (Ŵelengani Genesis 2:18.) Conco, cikwati cili ndi mapindu ake, ndipo cingabweletse madalitso. Mwacitsanzo, cikwati cabwino ndiwo maziko abwino a banja. Kuti ana akule bwino, amafunika kukhala ndi makolo amene amawakonda, kuwalanga, ndi kuwapatsa citsogozo. (Salimo 127:3; Aefeso 6:1-4) Komabe, kulela ana sindico cifukwa cokha coloŵela m’banja.

5, 6. (a) Malinga ndi Mlaliki 4:9-12, kodi ubwenzi wolimba umabweletsa mapindu otani? (b) Kodi cikwati cingafanane bwanji ndi cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu?

⁵ Lemba la mutu wa nkhaniyi, mau ake onse amati: “Aŵili amaposa mmodzi, cifukwa amapeza mphoto yabwino pa nchito yao imene amaigwila mwakhama. Ngati mmodzi wa io atagwa, winayo akhoza kum’dzutsa mnzakeyo. Koma kodi zingakhale bwanji munthu mmodzi atagwa popanda wina woti am’dzutse? Komanso, anthu aŵili akagona pamodzi, amamva kutentha. Koma kodi mmodzi yekha angamve bwanji kutentha? Ngati wina angagonjetse munthu mmodzi, anthu aŵili akhoza kulimbana naye. Ndipo cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu sicingaduke msanga.”—Mlaliki 4:9-12.

⁶ Lemba limeneli makamaka limakamba za ubwino wokhala ndi bwenzi. Ndipo cikwati ndico ubwenzi wolimba kwambili wa anthu aŵili. Monga mmene lembali lasonyezela, kugwilizana kumeneku kungacititse mwamuna ndi mkazi kuthandizana, kutonthozana ndi kutetezana. Koma kuti cikwati cilimbe kwambili, sicidalila cabe anthu aŵili. Vesi limeneli limaonetsa kuti cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe ziŵili cingaduke msanga. Koma cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu siciduka msanga. Ndipo ngati kukondweletsa Yehova ndico cinthu cofunika kwambili kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi, cikwati cao cimakhala ngati cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu. Yehova amakhala m’cikwati cimeneco, ndipo io amagwilizana kwambili. Conco, ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi amakonda Yehova, cikwati cao cimakhala colimba kwambili.

7, 8. (a) Kodi ndi uphungu uti umene Paulo analembela Akristu osakwatila amene amavutika kulamulila cilakolako cao ca kugonana? (b) Kodi Baibulo limafotokoza mfundo yoona iti yonena za banja?

⁷ M’cikwati ndi mmene mwamuna ndi mkazi angakhutilitsile zikhumbo zao za kugonana m’njila yovomelezeka. Ndipo ndi m’cikwati mokha mmene kugonana kumakhala kosangalatsa. (Miyambo 5:18) Ngati munthu amene sanaloŵe m’banja wapitilila pamene Baibulo limati “pacimake pa unyamata,” panthawi imene cilakolako cakugonana cimakhala camphamvu, zingatheke kuti munthuyo angamavutike ndi cilakolako ca kugonana. Ngati cilakolako cimeneco sacilamulila, angayambe kucita zosayenela. Paulo anauzilidwa kupeleka uphungu uwu kwa anthu osakwatila: “Ngati sangathe kudziletsa, akwatile, pakuti ndi bwino kukwatila kusiyana ndi kuvutika ndi cilakolako.”—1 Akorinto 7:9, 36; Yakobo 1:15.

⁸ Kaya munthu afuna kuloŵa m’banja pa zifukwa ziti, ayenela kudziŵa kuti banja lili ndi mavuto ake. Monga mmene Paulo ananenela, amene aloŵa m’banja “adzakhala ndi nsautso m’thupi mwao.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Anthu okwatila amakumana ndi mavuto amene anthu osakwatila sangakumane nao. Koma ngati mufuna kuloŵa m’banja, kodi mungacepetse bwanji mavuto ndi kupeza madalitso ambili? Njila imodzi ndi kusankha bwino munthu wokwatilana naye.

MUNGADZIŴE BWANJI MUNTHU WOYENELA KUKWATILANA NAYE?

9, 10. (a) Kodi Paulo anapeleka fanizo lotani loonetsa kuopsa kokwatilana ndi munthu wosakhulupilila? (b) N’ciani cimene cimacitika kaŵilikaŵili ngati munthu anyalanyaza uphungu wa Mulungu ndi kukwatilana ndi munthu wosakhulupilila?

⁹ Paulo anauzilidwa kulemba mfundo yofunika kwambili imene munthu ayenela kuitsatila ngati afuna kukwatila. Iye anati: “Musamangidwe m’goli ndi osakhulupilila.” (2 Akorinto 6:14) Fanizo ili linazikidwa pa zimene alimi anali kucita. Ngati ziŵeto ziŵili zosiyana kwambili msinkhu kapena mphamvu azimanga m’joko limodzi, zonse ziŵili   zingavutike. Mofananamo, kukwatilana ndi wosakhulupilila  kumabweletsa mavuto. Ngati wina afuna kukhalabe  m’cikondi ca Yehova koma winayo sasangalala nazo, ndiye kuti zolinga zao zidzakhala zosiyana ndipo zotsatilapo zake   zidzakhala mavuto. Ndiye cifukwa cake Paulo analimbikitsa Akristu ‘kukwatila mwa Ambuye.’—1 Akorinto 7:39.

¹⁰ Nthawi zina, Akristu ena osakwatila amaganiza kuti kukwatilana ndi munthu wosakhulupilila kuli bwino  kusiyana ndi kumangokhala wekha. Ena amanyalanyaza uphungu wa m’Baibulo ndi kukwatilana ndi munthu amene satumikila Yehova. Kaŵilikaŵili zotsatila zake zimakhala zoipa. Anthu aconco amakwatilana ndi munthu amene sagwilizana naye pa zinthu zofunika kwambili. Motelo, angakhale osungulumwa kwambili kuposa nthawi imene io anali osakwatila. Zosangalatsa n’zakuti pali Akristu ambili osakwatila, amene amakhulupilila ndi kutsatila uphungu wa m’Baibulo  wokhudza cikwati. (Ŵelengani Salimo 32:8.) Ngakhale kuti amafuna kukwatila, io amayembekezelabe kufikila atapeza munthu amene amalambila Yehova Mulungu.

11. N’ciani cimene cingakuthandizeni kusankha mwanzelu munthu wokwatilana naye? (Onani bokosi lakuti “Kodi Munthu Amene Ndiyenela Kukwatila Afunika Kukhala Wotani?”)

¹¹ Komabe, si mtumiki wa Yehova aliyense amene angakhale woyenela kukwatilana naye. Ngati mufuna kukwatila, sankhani munthu amene khalidwe lake, zolinga zake za kuuzimu, ndi cikondi cake pa Mulungu zimafanana ndi zanu. Kapolo wokhulupilika ndi wanzelu wapeleka malangizo ambili othandiza pankhani imeneyi. Ndipo muyenela kuganizila mwapemphelo uphungu wa m’Malemba umenewo ndi kuutsatila popanga cosankha cofunika cimeneci.a—Ŵelengani Salimo 119:105.

12. Kodi m’maiko ambili anthu amatsatila mwambo uti pankhani ya cikwati? Ndipo n’citsanzo citi ca m’Baibulo cimene makolo angatsatile?

¹² M’maiko ambili, makolo ndi amene amasankhila ana ao munthu wokwatilana naye. Mwa cikhalidwe cao, anthu amaona kuti makolo ndiwo oyenela kucita zimenezo cifukwa cakuti ali ndi nzelu zoculuka ndipo amadziŵa zambili. Cikwati cokonzedwa ndi makolo nthawi zambili cimayenda bwino, monga mmene zinalili m’nthawi za m’Baibulo. Abulahamu anatumiza wanchito wake kukafunila Isaki mkazi. Ici ndi citsanzo cabwino kwa makolo masiku ano amene afuna kusankhila mwana wao munthu wokwatilana naye. Abulahamu sanaone cuma ndi kuchuka kukhala zofunika kwambili. M’malo mwake, anayesetsa kupezela Isaki mkazi pakati pa anthu olambila Yehova.b—Genesis 24:3, 67.

KODI MUNGAKONZEKELE BWANJI CIKWATI CABWINO?

13-15. (a) Kodi mfundo ya pa Miyambo 24:27 ingathandize bwanji mnyamata amene akufuna kukwatila? (b) N’ciani cimene mtsikana afunika kucita kuti akonzekele kuloŵa m’banja?

¹³ Ngati mufunitsitsa kuloŵa m’banja, muyenela kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ndine wokonzekadi?’ Yankho silidalila mmene mumaonela nkhani ya cikondi, kugonana, kusungulumwa kapena kulela ana. Koma pali maudindo amene munthu amene afuna kukwatila ayenela kuganizilapo.

¹⁴ Mnyamata amene afuna kukwatila ayenela kuganizila mwakuya mfundo iyi: “Konzekela nchito yako yapanja, ndipo konza munda wako. Ukatelo ukamange banja lako.” (Miyambo 24:27) Kodi mfundo imeneyi ikutiphunzitsa ciani? M’masiku amenewo, ngati mwamuna afuna ‘kumanga banja lake’ kapena kuti kukhala ndi mkazi, anali kufunika kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ndine wokonzekadi kusamalila mkazi ndi ana amene adzabadwa?’ Iye coyamba anali kufunika kugwila nchito yokonza munda wake, ndi kusamalila mbeu zake. Mfundo imeneyi imagwilanso nchito masiku ano. Mwamuna amene afuna kukwatila ayenela kukonzekela kusamalila udindo umenewu. Malinga ngati ali ndi thanzi labwino ayenela kugwila nchito. Mau a Mulungu amaonetsa kuti mwamuna amene sasamalila banja lake mwa kulipezela zosoŵa zakuthupi ndi za kuuzimu, ndipo salikonda ndi woipa kuposa munthu wosakhulupilila.—Ŵelengani 1 Timoteyo 5:8.

¹⁵ Mkazi amene afuna kukwatiwa nayenso ayenela kuyembekezela maudindo ambili. Baibulo limafotokoza luso ndi makhalidwe ena amene mkazi ayenela kukhala nao kuti athandize mwamuna wake ndi kusamalila bwino banja lake. (Miyambo 31:10-31) Amuna ndi akazi amene amakwatila asanakonzekele maudindo ao a m’banja ndi odzikonda, cifukwa saganizila zimene angacitile mnzao. Koma cofunika koposa n’cakuti, amene afuna kuloŵa m’banja ayenela kukhala okonzekela kugwilitsila nchito mfundo za m’Baibulo m’banja lao.

16, 17. Ndi mfundo za m’Malemba ziti zimene anthu ofuna kuloŵa m’banja ayenela kuziganizila?

¹⁶ Kukonzekela banja kumafuna kuganizila maudindo amene Mulungu anapatsa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Mwamuna afunika kudziŵa zimene kukhala mutu wa banja lacikristu kumatanthauza. Udindo wake sumupatsa mphamvu zakuti akhale wankhanza. Koma ayenela kutsanzila mmene Yesu anacitila umutu wake. (Aefeso 5:23) Nayenso mkazi wacikristu ayenela kudziŵa kuti malo ake m’banja ndi ofunika. Kodi ndi wokonzeka kugonjela “lamulo la mwamuna wake”? (Aroma 7:2) Iye ali kale pansi pa lamulo la Yehova ndi la Kristu. (Agalatiya 6:2) Ulamulilo wa mwamuna wake m’banja ndi lamulo linanso limene afunika kulimvela. Kodi iye angacilikize ndi kugonjela ulamulilo wa mwamuna wopanda ungwilo? Ngati sangathe kugonjela ndiye kuti angacite bwino kusakwatiwa.

¹⁷ Ndiponso aliyense amene afuna kuloŵa m’banja ayenela kukhala wokonzeka kusamalila zofuna za mnzakeyo. (Ŵelengani Afilipi 2:4.) Paulo analemba kuti: “Aliyense wa inu akonde mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondela yekha, komanso mkazi azilemekeza kwambili mwamuna wake.” Mouzilidwa ndi Mulungu, Paulo anazindikila kuti mwamuna amafuna kuti mkazi wake azimulemekeza kwambili. Ndipo mkazi mwacibadwa amafuna kuti mwamuna wake azimukonda.—Aefeso 5:21-33.

18. N’cifukwa ciani anthu amene ali pa cisumbali ayenela kudziletsa?

¹⁸ Motelo, cisumbali si nthawi yosangalala cabe. Koma ndi nthawi yakuti mwamuna ndi mkazi adziŵane bwinobwino, ndi kuona ngati ndi oyenela kukwatilana. Panthawiyi ayenela kudziletsa, cifukwa cilakolako ca kugonana cimakhala camphamvu kwambili, ndipo n’cibadwa kukhala ndi cilakolako cimeneco. Koma munthu amene amakonda mnzake sangacite zinthu zimene zingaononge ubwenzi wa mnzakeyo ndi Mulungu. (1 Atesalonika 4:6) Conco, ngati muli pa cisumbali, khalani odziletsa ndipo mukatelo mudzapindula paumoyo wanu wonse kaya mudzakwatilana kapena ai.

KODI MUNGACITE CIANI KUTI CIKWATI CANU CIPITILIZE?

19, 20. Kodi mmene Mkristu amaonela cikwati zimasiyana bwanji ndi mmene anthu ambili m’dzikoli amacionela? Pelekani fanizo.

¹⁹ Anthu amene afuna kuti cikwati cao cipitilize, ayenela kuzindikila kuti cikwati ndi mgwilizano wokhalitsa. Kunena zoona, cikwati sindiye mapeto koma ndi ciyambi ca mgwilizano wokhalitsa umene Yehova anayambitsa. (Genesis 2:24) Koma n’zacisoni kuti anthu ambili samaciona motelo. M’maiko ena, anthu amaona kuti kukwatilana kuli ngati “kumanga mfundo ya zingwe ziŵili.” Koma io sazindikila kuti fanizo limeneli limaonetsa bwino maganizo amene anthu ali nao pa cikwati. N’cifukwa ciani tikutelo? Mfundo ya cingwe ingakhale yolimba kwa nthawi yaitali. Koma imafunika kuimanga m’njila yakuti isakavute kuimasula.

²⁰ Anthu ambili amaona ngati cikwati ndi mgwilizano wa kanthawi cabe. Amaloŵa m’cikwati cifukwa amaganiza kuti zofuna zao zidzacitika, koma amaganiza kuti angacokemo nthawi iliyonse ngati zinthu sizili bwino. Koma musaiŵale kuti Baibulo limafanizila mgwilizano wa cikwati ndi cingwe. Zingwe kapena nthambo zoyendetsela combo zimakhala zolimba kwambili, zimene sizingaduke ngakhale kukhale cimphepo camphamvu kwambili. Mofananamo, cikwati cinapangidwa kuti cisathe. Yesu anati: “Cimene Mulungu wacimanga pamodzi, munthu asacilekanitse.” (Mateyu 19:6) Munthu amene afuna kukwatila, ayenela kuona cikwati mwanjila imeneyo. Kodi mgwilizano umenewu umacititsa cikwati kukhala covuta? Iyai.

21. Kodi anthu okwatilana ayenela kuonana bwanji? Nanga n’ciani cimene cingawathandize kucita zimenezo?

²¹ Anthu okwatilana ayenela kuyang’ana zabwino za mnzao. Pamene aliyense ayang’ana zabwino za mnzake ndi kuyamikila zoyesayesa zake, cikwati cimabweletsa cimwemwe ndi mpumulo. Kodi n’zotheka kuona zabwino mwa munthu amene ndi wopanda ungwilo? Yehova amationa moyenelela ndipo amayang’ana zabwino mwa ife. Wamasalimo anati: “Inu Ya, mukanakhala kuti mumayang’anitsitsa zolakwa, ndani akanaima pamaso panu, inu Yehova?” (Salimo 130:3) Anthu okwatilana ayenela kukhala ndi malingalilo amenewo ndipo ayenela kukhululukilana.—Ŵelengani Akolose 3:13.

22, 23. Kodi Abulahamu ndi Sara anapeleka citsanzo cabwino citi kwa anthu okwatilana masiku ano?

²² M’kupita kwa zaka, cikwati cingabweletse cimwemwe coculuka ndi cikhutilo. Baibulo limatiuza za cikwati ca Abulahamu ndi Sara pamene anali okalamba. Sikuti cikwati cao cinalibe mavuto. Ganizilani mmene Sara anamvelela kusiya nyumba yapamwamba mu mzinda wotukuka wa Uri ndi kukakhala m’mahema moyo wake wonse. Panthawiyo mwina iye anali ndi zaka za m’ma 60. Komabe, anagonjela mwamuna wake monga mutu wa banja. Iye anali mthandizi weniweni wa Abulahamu, ndipo modzicepetsa anacilikiza zosankha za mwamuna wake. Ndipo kugonjela kwake sikunali kwa ciphamaso cabe. Ngakhale “mumtima mwake” anacha mwamuna wake kuti mbuyanga. (Genesis 18:12; 1 Petulo 3:6) Anali kulemekeza Abulahamu kucokela mumtima.

²³ Koma izi sizitanthauza kuti Abulahamu ndi Sara anali kugwilizana pa zilizonse. Panthawi ina Sara anapeleka lingalilo limene Abulahamu ‘anaipidwa nalo kwambili.’ Koma atalangizidwa ndi Yehova, Abulahamu anadzicepetsa ndi kumvela lingalilo la mkazi wake, ndipo zimenezi zinabweletsa dalitso pa banja lao. (Genesis 21:9-13) Anthu okwatilana masiku ano, ngakhale amene akhala m’cikwati kwa zaka zambili, angaphunzile zambili ku banja loopa Mulungu limeneli.

24. Ndi zikwati zotani zimene zimalemekeza Yehova Mulungu? Ndipo n’cifukwa ciani?

²⁴ Mumpingo wacikristu, muli mabanja ambili acimwemwe. M’mabanja amenewa mkazi amalemekeza kwambili mwamuna wake, ndipo mwamuna amakonda ndi kulemekeza mkazi wake. Onse aŵili amayesetsa kuika cifunilo ca Yehova patsogolo. Ngati mufuna kukwatila, sankhani mwanzelu munthu wokwatilana naye, konzekelani mokwanila kuloŵa m’banja, ndipo yesetsani kuti m’cikwati canu mukakhale mtendele ndi cikondi. Mukatelo, cikwati canu cidzalemekeza Yehova Mulungu, ndiponso cidzakuthandizani kukhalabe m’cikondi ca Mulungu.