Guma Ohami Bwanyima y’Okutaana

Abantu abamwe nibataana barikuteekateeka kutunga obusingye, kandi abandi nibaba nibenda kuguma omu bushwere kwonka tibarikugyema abu baburimu nabo kubugumamu. Kwonka abarikutaana, bwanyima nibashanga embeera zigumire kukira oku baabaire nibateekateeka. Ku oraabe otaanire n’ou waabaire ori nawe omu bushwere, noobaasa kushanga kiri kimwe aha bintu ebigumire kwemera. Nikibaasa kukuhwera kushwijuma bumwe aha buhabuzi kuruga omu Baibuli oburikubaasa kukuhwera kwemera oburemeezi oburikuruga omu kutaana.

OBUREMEEZI 1: EMITEEKATEEKYERE ETAHIKIRE.

Okwerarikirira aha by’entaasya, okworora abaana, n’eihamba nibibaasa kukumaramu amaani kandi enyehurira nk’egyo terikuhwaho juba. Omuhangu omwe orikwetegyereza ebiteekateeko by’abantu orikwetwa Judith Wallerstein kwonka owaafiire, akagira ngu bwanyima y’emyaka mikye okutaana kuherize kubaho, abamwe nibahurira bari nk’abu bareebize nari abatsigirweho kandi nibaba baine eihamba.

EKI ORIKUBAASA KUKORA

• Noobaasa kuganya ahabw’ogwo okutsigireho. Noobaasa kuhurira oine eihamba ahabw’okutsigwaho omuntu ou orikukunda. N’obu obushwere bwanyu buraabe bwabaire butari burungi, noobaasa kuganya ahabw’okutagira kushemererwa oku waabaire nooteekateeka kutunga omu bushwere. (Enfumu 5:18) Otakaagira enshoni z’okugira “obunaku bw’okurira.”​—Omubuurizi 3:1, 4.

• Yetantare okwetaanisa aha bandi. N’obu oraabe oine kutunga obwire bw’okurira ori wenka, ti ky’obwengye kwetaanisa aha bandi kumara obwire buraingwa. (Enfumu 18:1) Waaba ori na banywani baawe, koresa ebigambo ebirikwombeka, ahakuba okwetomboitera ou waataanire nawe, nikibaasa kureetera abandi kukwetantara. Waaba oine kucwamu aha nshonga nkuru bwanyima y’okutaana, ni kikuru kutunga obuhabuzi kuruga aha muntu ou orikwesiga.

• Fayo kwereeberera. Okwerarikirira ahabw’okutaana obumwe nikirugamu oburemeezi bw’amagara, nk’endwara erikwetwa blood pressure nari okuteerwa omutwe gw’amaani. Rya gye, kora ebirikutendeka omubiri gwawe, kandi byama obwire burikumara.​—Abaefeso 5:29.

• Biika hare ebirikukwata aha u otaanire nawe ebirikukureetera kugira ekiniga nari ebi otarikwenda. Kwonka ebihandiiko ebikuru obibiike gye. Ebishushani by’okugaitwa kwanyu byaba nibikureetera enaku, bibiikire abaana baawe.

• Yetantare emiteekateekyere egwire. Olga, owaataanire bwanyima ya iba kushambana, akagira ati: “Nkaguma ninyebuuza, Omukazi ogwo aine ki nyowe eki ntaine?” Kwonka bwanyima, Olga akeetegyereza ngu okuguma oine emiteekateekyere egwire, nikirugamu okuhahaara omutima.​—Enfumu 18:14.

  Abantu baingi bashangire ngu okuhandiika ebi barikuteekateeka nikibahwera kwerinda emiteekateekyere egwire. Teeraho kugira ebiteekateeko birungi ebiraaze omu mwanya gw’ebibi. (Abaefeso 4:23) Yetegyereze eby’okureeberaho bibiri ebi:

  Ekigwire: Niinye naareeteire omukundwa wangye kutaba mwesigwa.

  Ekihikire: Omukundwa wangye akaba ataine bugabe bw’okundeebya ahabw’enshobe zangye.

  Ekigwire: Nkashiisha obwire bwangye ndi n’omushaija otaanshemereire.

  Ekihikire: Ninyija kushemererwa naata omutima aha by’omumaisho bitari by’enyima.

• Abandi baakugambaho kubi, obyehuzye. Banywani baawe n’abanyabuzaare baawe, nibabaasa kukugambaho ebitahikire: ‘Akaba atakushemereire’ nari ngu ‘Ruhanga naayanga okutaana.’b Baibuli neegira eti: “Otarita omutima aha bigambo by’abantu.” (Omubuurizi 7:21) Martina, omazire emyaka ebiri ataanire, naagira ati: “Omu mwanya gw’okuta omutima aha bigambo ebirikusaasa, niinteeraho kugira emiteekateekyere nk’eya Ruhanga. Ebiteekateeko bye nibikira ebyaitu.”​—Isaaya 55:8, 9.

• Shaba Ruhanga. Naahiga abaheereza be ‘kumwegyekyerera okushoberwa kwabo kwona,’ na munonga baaba baine oburemeezi bw’amaani.​—1 Petero 5:7.

OBUREMEEZI 2: OMUKAGO OGU WAABAIRE OINE N’OU WAATAANIRE NAWE.

Juliana, owaabaire ashweirwe kumara emyaka 11, naagira ati: “Nkeeshengyereza ibanyi kuguma naanye. Kwonka ku yaayangire akagyenda, nkamugirira ekiniga hamwe n’omukazi ou yaagyenzire nawe.” Baingi abarikutaana nibaguma bainiire abu bataanire nabo ekiniga ky’amaani kumara emyaka mingi. Kwonka nibagyemeserezibwa kuguma nibagamba nabo, na munonga baaba baine abaana.

EKI ORIKUBAASA KUKORA

• Guma nootwariza gye ou waataanire nawe. Waaza kugamba nawe, ta omutima aha birikwetengyesa, otamara nawe obwire bwingi, kandi hikira aha nshonga. Baingi bashangire ngu okutwaza batyo nikireetaho obusingye.​—Abarooma 12:18.

• Yetantare emigambire erikugwisa kubi. Na munonga waayehurira ngu baakutwariza kubi, noobaasa kuhwerwa obuhabuzi bwa Baibuli obu: “Oyetwara omu kugamba aba ow’obwengye.” (Enfumu 17:27) Yaakutwariza kubi kandi okahurira ngu torikubaasa kugamba ebirikwombeka, noobaasa kumugira oti: “Ka nteekateekye aha ki waagamba reero ninyija kugamba naiwe bwanyima.”

• Ebihandiiko ebirikukwata aha u waataanire nawe bitaanise n’ebyawe. Nibibaasa kutwariramu ebihandiiko ebirikukwata aha by’entaasya, eby’obujanjabi n’ebindi.

OBUREMEEZI 3: HWERA ABAANA BAAWE KUKORA EMPINDAHINDUKA.

Maria naijuka oku embeera zaabaire ziri bwanyima y’okutaana: “Muhara wangye omuto akaba arira obwire bwona kandi akagarukamu kuguma naanyaara aha kitanda. Kandi n’obu muhara wangye omukuru araabe yaabaire atarikworeka enyehurira ze, nkaba nindeeba empindahinduka omuriwe.” Eky’obusaasi, noobaasa kwereeba nk’otaine bwire nari otaine maani g’okuhwera abaana baawe obu barikuba nibakwetenga munonga.

EKI ORIKUBAASA KUKORA

• Higa abaana baawe kukugambira oku barikwehurira, n’obu eki kiraabe nikibaasa kurugamu ‘okurahuka kugamba.’​—Yobu 6:2, 3.

• Hikiiriza obujunaanizibwa bwawe. N’obu oraabe noobaasa kuba nooyenda omuntu oraafeyo aha nyehurira yaawe, otaikiriza abaana baawe kuba nibo baakikora, ahakuba nikiba kitahikire kushaba abaana baawe obuhwezi waaba oine oburemeezi bw’amaani. (1 Abakorinso 13:11) Yetantare kugambira omwana waawe oburemeezi bwawe nari okuguma noomutuma kugira eki yaagambira ou waabaire ori nawe omu bushwere.

• Rinda gye abaana baawe kuguma omu buteeka. Okuguma omu mwanya ogu mubaire murimu n’okugumizamu n’entebeekanisa ei mubaire nimukuratira ni kikuru, kwonka ekikuru munonga n’okuguma nimushemeza omukago gwanyu na Ruhanga, ekirikutwariramu okushoma Baibuli n’okuramya kw’eka.​—Eky’Ebiragiro 6:6-9.

Noobaasa kugumizamu ohami bwanyima y’okutaana. Melissa, owaabaire amazire emyaka 16 omu bushwere, naagira ati: “Obu naataana n’ou naabaire ndi nawe omu bushwere, nkagira ngu eki tikyo naabaire niinyenda omu magara gangye.” Kwonka hati amazirwe n’embeera ei arimu. Naagira ati: “Ku naarekyeire aho kwenda kuhindura ebyabaireho enyima, nkaba gye.”