Umuryango—Abantu Barawukeneye!

BAVUGA yuko imibano y’abantu imererwa neza iyo gusa imiryango na yo imerewe neza. Inkuru y’ivyabaye irerekana ko uko indinganizo y’ivy’umuryango ibungwa ari kwo inkomezi z’imiryango n’iz’amahanga zigabanuka. Igihe ugutemba kw’ivy’ukwigenza runtu kwasenyura imiryango mu Bugereki bwa kera, isirimuka ryabwo ryaraguye, bituma bushobora kwigarurirwa n’Abaroma bitagoranye. Inganji y’Abaroma yaguma ikomeye igihe imiryango yari iyigize yaguma ikomeye. Ariko uko ibinjana vyarengana, niko ubuzima bwo mu miryango bwagoyagoya, hanyuma inkomezi z’iyo nganji zirayama. Charles W. Eliot, uwahoze ari umuhagarikizi wa Kaminuza y’i Havard, yavuze ati: “Umutekano n’agaciro vy’umuryango n’ubuzima bwo mu muryango ni vyo bintu vya mbere isirimuka rirondera, kandi ni zo ntumbero z’umwete wose.”

Egome, umuryango ni ikintu abantu bakeneye. Uri n’ico ukora cane ku gutekanirwa kw’imibano, n’ukumererwa neza kw’abana n’abazokwaruka muri kazoza. Nta gukeka, hariho abavyeyi benshi cane b’abagore bibana usanga bita ku rutare cane kugirango barere abana beza, kandi barakwiye gushimirwa ku bw’igikorwa cabo gikomeye. Ariko rero, amatohoza arerekana yuko abana ubusanzwe bamererwa neza kuruta, mu gihe baba mu muryango ufise abavyeyi bompi.

Mw itohoza ryagizwe muri Ostraliya ku bana b’imiyabaga barenga 2 100, ryasanze “abana b’imiyabaga bo mu miryango yasambutse bari bafise ingorane z’ivy’amagara zisanzwe zishika, bagashobora kugaragaza ibimenyetso vy’uko bafise ingorane z’ivy’akanyengetera, bagashobora kandi kuba bakoresha igitsina kuruta abana bo mu miryango ikwiye.” Itohoza ryari rirongowe n’Inzego z’Igihugu Ziraba ivy’Amagara za Reta Zunze Ubumwe, rihishura yuko abana bo mu ngo zasambutse bashobora “kugira isanganya ku rugero ruri hagati ya 20 na 30 kw ijana, guhitira mw ishure ku rugero ruri hagati ya 40 na 75 kw ijana, no gushobora kwirukanwa kw ishure ku rugero rungana na 70 kw ijana.” Hari uwihweza ibintu yavuze ko “abana bo mu ngo zifiswe n’umuvyeyi umwe bashobora cane rwose kuja mu vy’ubukozi bw’ikibi kuruta abakuriye mu ngo zikwiye.”

Urugo Ni Ubwugamo

Indinganizo y’ivy’umuryango iraha bose urugo rurangwa ubuhirwe, rwubaka, kandi rurangwa umunezero. Hari umutegetsi w’Umusuwedi yivugiye ati: “Isoko rihambaye kuruta ry’ubuhirwe hamwe n’ukumererwa neza si akazi, si ibintu, si udukorwa two kwisamaza, eka si n’abagenzi, ahubwo ni umuryango.”

Bibiliya irerekana yuko umuryango uwo ari wo wose wo kw isi izina ryawo urikesha wa Muremyi Mukuru, Yehova Imana, mu buryo bw’uko yashinze indinganizo y’ivy’umuryango. (Itanguriro 1:27, 28; 2:23, 24; Abanyefeso 3:14, 15) Ariko rero, mu Vyanditswe vyahumetswe, intumwa Paulo yarabuye ko hobayeho igitero gikaze ku muryango, kigatuma ivy’ukwigenza runtu hamwe n’umubano w’abantu batari mw ishengero rya gikirisu bitituka. Yavuze yuko “[i]misi y’iherezo” yoranzwe n’uguhemuka, abantu ‘ntibakunde ababo,’ hakabaho n’ukugambararira abavyeyi, ivyo bikaba mbere no mu “bafise ishusho yo kwubaha Imana.” Yahimirije Abakirisu gutera ibitugu abantu mwen’abo. Yezu yarabuye yuko ivy’ukurwanya ukuri kw’Imana vyotandukanije abagize imiryango.—2 Timoteyo 3:1-5; Matayo 10:32-37.

Mugabo Imana ntiyaturetse ata gifasha. Mw Ijambo ryayo harimwo vyinshi bivuga ivy’amategeko yerekeye ubucuti bw’abagize imiryango. Riratubwira ukuntu dushobora gutuma umuryango utunganirwa, n’urugo rukaba ahantu harangwa umunezero, uwuri mu bagize umuryango wese aba ari n’ibimwega abwirizwa gukorera abandi.a—Abanyefeso 5:33; 6:1-4.

Mbega vyoba bishoboka gushikira ubucuti mwen’ubwo burangwa ubuhirwe muri iyi misi, aho umuryango uhanamiwe bimwe bikomeye? Ego cane! Wewe urashobora kuroranirwa mu gutuma umuryango wawe uba ahantu h’akabomberwa harangwa akanyamuneza kandi haruhura, muri iyi si igoye imeze nk’ubugaragwa. Ariko ivyo hari ikintu bisaba umwe wese mu bagize umuryango. Ngizi inama zimwezimwe tugiriwe.

Gufasha Umuryango Wawe ngo Urokoke

Bumwe mu buryo bwiza burushirije butuma umuryango ushobora kuguma wunze ubumwe, ni mu kuza muramara umwanya muri kumwe. Abawugize bose bakwiye gusangira umwanya wabo wo kwisamaza. Hari aho ivyo vyogusaba kugira ivyo wiyima. Mwebwe imiyabaga nk’akarorero, hari aho mwobwirizwa guheba ibiganiro bimwebimwe mukunda vyo kuri televiziyo, inkino, canke gusohokana n’abagenzi. Mwebwe ba serugo, kubera ko ubusanzwe ari mwe canecane musumira abanyu, ntimukoreshe umwanya wo kwisamaza mwikorera utuntu two kwiruhura canke ibindi bintu ubwanyu bibashimisha. Nimutegekanye kugira ivyo mukorana n’umuryango, kumbure uburyo bwo kumarana amawikendi canke ibiruhuko. Nkako nyene, murategekanye ikintu umuntu wese aja kwitegana umunezero kandi agakunda.

Abana ntibakeneye icitwa umwanya mwiza gusa, tuvuge nk’igice c’isaha cashinzwe muja mumarana na bo. Barakeneye umwanya munini. Hari umwanditsi w’ikinyamakuru ca buri musi co mu Busuwedi yanditse ati: “Mu myaka 15 maze ndi umushikirizamakuru, narahuye n’abana benshi bigenza nabi . . . Ico basangiye ni uko basa n’abahabwa umwanya mwiza muto: ‘Abavyeyi banje nta mwanya bari bafise.’ ‘Ntibigera bumviriza.’ ‘Dawe nantaryo yama ari ku ngendo.’ . . . Niba uri umuvyeyi, ushobora kwama nantaryo uraba umwanya woha umwana wawe uko ungana. Ihitamwo ryawe rigaragara inyuma y’imyaka 15, ku mwana w’imyaka 15 w’imburakigongwe.”

Kubona Ivy’Amahera mu Buryo Bubereye

Abagize umuryango bose bakwiye kandi gutsimbataza ukubona ivy’amahera mu buryo bubereye. Bakwiye kwama biteguriye guterera mu vyo bashoboye kugirango bakwize ayo umuryango usanzwe ukoresha. Hari abagore benshi babwirizwa kurondera akazi kugirango baronke ayamara ukwezi, ariko mwebwe abakenyezi mukwiye kumenya akaga hamwe n’inyosha mbi mushobora guhura na vyo. Iyi si irabahimiriza “kuryimara” no “kwikorera utwanyu.” Yoshobora gutuma muba ba nyamwigendako kandi ntimumarwe ipfa n’uruhara rwanyu mwahawe n’Imana rwo kuba ba nyina w’abana n’abatunganyarugo.—Tito 2:4, 5.

Mu gihe mwebwe ba nyina w’abana mushoboye kuba muri i muhira kandi mukabera abana banyu abayobozi n’abagenzi, ntibizobura guterera agacumu k’ubumwe mu kwubaka ubucuti bukomeye buzotuma umuryango wanyu uguma ufatanye mu nda mu magume yose yowushikira. Umugore arashobora guterera agacumu k’ubumwe mu buryo buboneka mu gutuma urugo rugira ubuhirwe, rutekanirwa, kandi rugatera ruja imbere. Hari umunyapolitike wo mu kinjana ca 19 yavuze ati: “Hakenerwa abagabo ijana kugirango bashinge iraro, ariko umugore umwe arashobora kuremesha urugo.”

Mu gihe bose mu muryango bafashanije kugirango bashobore gutungwa n’ikigega bafise, bizokingira umuryango ingorane nyinshi. Abubakanye bakwiye kwemeranya kuguma babayeho mu buryo bubayabaye no gushira inyungu z’ivy’umutima mu kibanza ca mbere. Abana bakwiye kwiga gushira ipfa, badasaba ibintu ikigega c’umuryango kidashoboye kuronka. Murabe maso ku vyipfuzo vy’amaso! Inyosha yo kugura ibintu mudashoboye kwironsa, kurya amadeni, yaratumye imiryango myinshi isenyuka. Ubumwe bw’umuryango bworama mu gihe bose bashize hamwe uduhera kugirango bagirire ikintu hamwe—bagafata urugendo ruruhura, bakagura igikoresho co mu rugo kandi gihimbaye, canke bagatanga intererano yo gushigikira ishengero rya gikirisu.

Ubundi buryo bwo “guterera agacumu k’ubumwe” butuma mu muryango haba agatima k’ubuhirwe abagize umuryango bose bakwiye kugira, ni ugufadikanya ibikorwa vy’isuku no gusanasana ibikoresho—kubungabunga inzu, ubusitani, umuduga, n’ibindi. Uwuri mu bagize umuryango wese, gushiramwo n’abana nyene, yoshobora gushingwa umuce munaka w’ako gakorwa. Mwebwe abana, nimugerageze kutonona umwanya wanyu. Ahubwo, nimutsimbataze agatima k’ugufasha n’ugusenyera ku mugozi umwe n’abandi; ivyo bizotuma habaho ubugenzi nyakuri n’ugushira hamwe, na vyo bikaba vyubaka ubumwe bw’umuryango.

Agaciro k’Ukwiga Bibiliya

Mu muryango w’Abakirisu wunze ubumwe, akamaro k’ukwiga Bibiliya ubudahengeshanya karashimikwako. Ukuganira ku vyanditswe vya Bibiliya buri musi hamwe n’ukwiga Ivyanditswe Vyeranda buri yinga, biratanga ishimikiro rituma urugo rwunga ubumwe. Ukuri hamwe n’ingingo vya Bibiliya vy’ishimikiro bikwiye kuganirirwa hamwe mu buryo buvyura umutima w’abari mu muryango bose.

Ibiringo nk’ivyo vyo mu muryango bikwiye kuba ari ivyigisha, ariko bikaba n’ibihimbaye kandi biremesha. Hari umuryango wo mu buraruko bw’Ubusuwedi wahora usaba abana kwandika ibibazo bibajije mu mushamvu. Ivyo bibazo vyaca rero biganirwa mu gihe c’inyigisho ya Bibiliya ya buri mushamvu. Ivyo bibazo kenshi vyaba ari ibishika kure kandi bisaba ukwiyumvira, kandi bikagaragaza ubushobozi abana bafise bwo kwiyumvira hamwe n’ukuntu bashima inyigisho Bibiliya itanga. Ibibazo bimwebimwe vyari nk’ibi: “Mbega Yehova yama atuma ikintu cose gikura igihe cose, canke yabikoze rimwe ryonyene?” “Ni kuki Bibiliya ivuga ko Imana yaremye umuntu ‘mw ishusho yayo’ kandi Imana atari umuntu?” “Mbega Adamu na Eva ntibumva igikonyozi mu gihe c’urushana muri Paradiso kubera ko ataco bari bambaye ku birenge bakaba kandi ata vyambarwa bari bafise?” “Ni kuki dukeneye ukwezi mw ijoro kandi hakwiye kuba hari umwijima?” Abo bana ubu barakuze, bakaba kandi bakorera Imana ari abakenuzi b’igihe cose.

Igihe mwebwe abavyeyi mutunganya ingorane z’umuryango, biraba vyiza iyo mwigoye mukaba abizigira n’abanyakamwemwe. Murabe abitwararika kandi batadadaza, yamara ntimube ba mahindagu, mu vyo gukurikiza ingingo zihambaye. Murareke abana banyu babone yuko urukundo mukunda Imana n’ingingo zayo zitunganye vyama biyobora ingingo mufata. Kw ishure harakunda kuba ibintu bitesha umutwe kandi biteye umubabaro, abana rero bakaba bakeneye indemesho nyinshi mu rugo kugirango bahangane n’ako kosho.

Bavyeyi, ntimushake kwerekana ko mutunganye. Muremere amakosa kandi musabe imbabazi abana banyu igihe bikenewe. Yemwe abakiri bato, iyo nyoko na so bemeye ikosa, nimutsimbataze urukundo mubafitiye.—Umusiguzi 7:16.

Ni vyo, umuryango wunze ubumwe uratuma urugo rurangwamwo amahoro, umutekano n’agahimbare. Umupowete w’Umudagi yitwa Goethe yavuze igihe kimwe ati: “Arahiriwe nyabuna umwami canke umunyagihugu yironkera ubuhirwe i muhira.” Ku bavyeyi n’abana bakenguruka, ntihakwiye kubaho ahandi hantu hameze nk’i muhira.

Egome, muri iki gihe umuryango urahanamiwe bimwe bikomeye n’imikazo y’iyi si tubamwo. Ariko kubera ko umuryango uturuka ku Mana, uzorokoka. Umuryango wanyu uzorokoka, kandi na wewe nyene uzorokoka mu gihe ukurikiye ingingo zigororotse Imana itanga kugirango ubuzima bwo mu muryango bubemwo ubuhirwe.

[Akajambo k’epfo]