Ico abavyeyi bokora

“Abanyeshure benshi cane wasanga barundaniye mw’ishure! Nta vyuma bitanga akayaga vyari bihari, ubushuhe na bwo bwahakwa kutwica.”—Luis wo muri Boliviya.

“Kw’ishure iwacu hari abigisha bari ku rushi, akaba ari co gituma abanyeshure batitwararikwa umwumwe ukwiwe. Nta makarata ndondabihugu yari ahari, nta bikoresho bikwiye vyo kugira ubushakashatsi mu vya siyansi (“Laboratoire”) be n’ububiko bw’ibitabu vyari bihari.”—Dorcus wo muri Myanmar.

“Benshi mu bigisha bacu vyarabagora cane gucungera abanyeshure. Rimwe na rimwe abanyeshure wasanga ari ibigaba cane, ivyo bikaba vyaratuma birushiriza kutugora kwiga.”—Nina wo muri Afrika y’Epfo.

NK’UKO ayo majambo ari aho haruguru avyerekana, ukuntu ibintu vyifashe mu mashure amwamwe kuratuma kwiga birushiriza kuba urugamba. Wewe muvyeyi, ushobora gute gufasha abana bawe kurushiriza kwungukira ku nyigisho baronka naho hari izo ngorane? Ng’ibi ivyiyumviro bimwebimwe vyogufasha.

Niwibwirize. Aho kugumiza umutima kuri izo ngorane, bikaba bishoboka ko nyinshi muri zo zikurengeye, nuwugumize ku vyo ushobora gukora. Niba umwana wawe asa n’uwudashobora gutahura icigwa kinaka canke arengewe n’udukorwa twinshi bamuha kw’ishure two gukorera i muhira, nugerageze uri kumwe na we kwiyumvira uburyo bukeyi bwo kubitorera umuti. Nk’akarorero, vyoba bikenewe ko urondera ahantu i muhira umwana wawe yokwigira amerewe neza kuruta? Umwana wawe yoba akeneye gufashwa kwishingira urutonde kugira ngo akore ibintu bihambaye kuruta ibindi? Vyoba vyomugirira akamaro aronse uwumufasha gutahura ivyigwa? Ushaka kuronka ibindi vyiyumviro, kumbure urashobora kuyaga n’umwigisha w’umwana wawe. Numubone nk’uwo musangiye urugamba aho kumubona nk’umwansi.

Nufashe umwana wawe kugumiza umutima ku ntumbero y’ishure. Ishure rikwiye gutuma umwana wawe aronka ibikwiye vyose kugira ngo akure azi ibintu kandi ari umuntu yitaho ibintu. Intumbero ntikwiye gusa kuba iyo kumenya ukuntu yokwironkera ubutunzi. Yamara, ubushakashatsi bwagizwe bwerekana yuko abakiri bato benshi biga bafise iyo ntumbero nyene mu bwenge, ni ukuvuga yo gutunga. Bibiliya iremesha kubona amatungo y’ivy’umubiri mu buryo buri ku rugero. Naho yemera icese yuko “amahera akingira umuntu,” iranagabisha ko “abiyemeje kuba abatunzi” batazogira agahimbare nyakuri.—Umusiguzi 7:12; 1 Timoteyo 6:9.

Nureke umwana wawe yigire ku ngorane. Abigisha benshi bavuga yuko naho abanyeshure bamwebamwe usanga bagoye, abavyeyi bobo usanga bagoye kuruta. Abavyeyi bamwebamwe barihutira kuhaseruka no guharira igihe umuhungu wabo canke umukobwa wabo agize ingorane canke ananiwe ikibazo. Nk’akarorero, ikinyamakuru kimwe (Time) kiravuga ibijanye n’umwigisha umwe wo muri kaminuza yari afise abanyeshure “baterefona abavyeyi babo bari mw’ishure bakoresheje telefone ngendanwa kugira ngo bidoge bababwira yuko baronse amanota make maze bagaca baha iyo telefone uwo mwigisha, ariko arigisha, kubera ko uwo muvyeyi yaba yipfuje kugira ico abivuzeko. Kandi abavyeyi baramubwira yuko batanga amahera menshi kugira ngo umwana wabo yige bikaba vyerekana yuko ata kindi bayatangira atari ukugira ngo umwana wabo aronke amanota meza.”

Abavyeyi nk’abo nta co baba bariko barafasha abana babo. Nkako, nk’uko uwitwa Polly Young-Eisendrath yavyanditse mu gitabu ciwe (The Self-Esteem Trap), aho “kurokora” abana babo, baba bariko barababuza “gushikirwa n’ingaruka z’ingingo bafashe, iz’ukuyoberwa kwabo kandi bakababuza kunyinyana na zo.” Yongerako ati: “Niba abavyeyi bihutira gutorera umuti ingorane abana babo bagize mu gihe abo bana biraramiye, abo bavyeyi bazorushiriza gukomera, mugabo abo bana bazorushiriza kugoyagoya maze bibate ku w’amazi bagerageje kwirwanako.”

Nugire ibitegereka mu bijanye n’ukuntu amashure umwana wawe yokurikirana akwiye kuba angana. Nk’uko twamaze kubivuga, ishure rirashobora gufasha umwana wawe kuba umuntu yitwararika ibintu amaze gukura. (Itanguriro 2:24) Mugabo none asabwa kwiga amashure angana gute kugira ngo ashike kuri iyo ntumbero?

Ntiwiyumvire yuko umwana wawe ategerezwa kwiga kaminuza kugira ngo agire ubuzima bwiza. Hariho ubundi buryo butazimvye. Nkako, mu bihe bimwebimwe usanga abafise ubuhanga mu mwuga kanaka bashobora kugira ubuzima bwiza cokimwe n’abahejeje kaminuza.

Mu ncamake: Amashure ntabuze agahaze, kandi muri iki gihe abana barashikirwa n’ingorane zitari zihari mu myaka mirongo iheze. Mugabo ufashije umwana wawe arashobora kuroranirwa kw’ishure! Uko mugize umuryango, mubona gute muganiriye ivyiyumviro biri muri iki kinyamakuru kuva ku rupapuro rwa 3 gushika ku rwa 7?

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 8]

Ishure rikwiye gutuma umwana wawe aronka ibikwiye vyose kugira ngo akure azi ibintu kandi ari umuntu yitaho ibintu

[Ifoto ku rup. 9]

Umwigisha w’umwana wawe numubone nk’uwo musangiye urugamba aho kumubona nk’umwansi

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 9]

Abigisha benshi bavuga yuko naho abanyeshure bamwebamwe usanga bagoye, abavyeyi bobo usanga bagoye kuruta