Nimuzigame indagano yanyu y’ukwabirana

WIBAZA ko ari ibiki vyashikiye ubucuti bwari hagati ya Michael na Maria? Kumbure wokwibaza ko kuraba amashusho yerekana ubushegabo ari yo ngorane nyamukuru Michael yari afise. Mugabo nk’uko Michael yahavuye abitahura, iyo ngeso mu vy’ukuri cari ikimenyetso c’ingorane ikomeye gusumba ijanye no kudashitsa indagano y’ukwabirana.b Igihe Michael na Maria bashinga urwabo, bari biteganye umushasharo kubaho bakundana no kwinovora ibihe biteye umunezero. Yamara rero, nk’uko bishikira abubakanye benshi, indagano y’ukwabirana bagiraniye yagiye iratituka uko igihe cagenda kirarengana, maze ubucuti bari bafitaniye buca busa n’uburiko buragenda amazimayongo.

Woba ubona ko ubucuti buri hagati yawe n’uwo mwubakanye bwoba bwagiye buratituka uko imyaka yagiye irarengana? Woba wokwipfuza gukomeza ubwo bucuti? Nimba uvyipfuza, urakwiye kumenya inyishu y’ibibazo bitatu bikurikira: Bisobanura iki kugira indagano y’ukwabirana? Ni ingorane izihe zishobora kubangamira iyo ndagano? Kandi ushobora gukora iki kugira ngo ukomeze indagano y’ukwabirana wagize?

Indagano ni iki?

Wosigura gute indagano y’ukwabirana? Benshi boshobora kuvuga yuko umuntu agira indagano kubera ko hari ico ategerezwa gushitsa. Nk’akarorero, abubakanye boshobora kuguma bashitsa indagano y’ukwabirana bagiraniye kubera ko bavyaranye abana canke kubera babona yuko hari ico bategerezwa gushitsa imbere y’Imana, yo yatanguje umubano w’ababiranye. (Itanguriro 2:22-24) Mu vy’ukuri, imvo nk’izo zirashimishije cane kandi zirashobora gufasha abubatse bakavyifatamwo neza mu bihe bigoye. Ariko rero, kugira ngo ababiranye baronke agahimbare, barakeneye kubona ko hari n’ibindi basabwa uretse ukubona gusa ko hari ico umwe ategerezwa gukorera uwundi.

Yehova Imana yashizeho umubano w’ababiranye kugira ngo ubabere isôko ry’umunezero be n’ugushira akanyota bigera kure. Yashaka yuko umugabo ‘anezererwa umugore wiwe,’ umugore na we agakunda umugabo wiwe akongera akiyumvamwo yuko umugabo wiwe amukunda nk’uko akunda umubiri wiwe bwite. (Imigani 5:18; Abanyefeso 5:28) Kugira ngo abubakanye bagiranire mwene ubwo bucuti, babwirizwa kwiga kwizigirana. N’ikindi gihambaye, barakeneye gutsimbataza hagati yabo ubugenzi bwamaho. Igihe umugabo n’umugore bakora uko bashoboye kwose kugira ngo bizigirane kandi babe abagenzi somambike, indagano y’ukwabirana bagiraniye izorushiriza gukomera. Bazogiranira ubucuti Bibiliya idondora ko ari ubwa hafi cane ku buryo bisa nk’aho abo bantu babiri baba babaye “umubiri umwe.”​—Matayo 19:5.

Ni co gituma indagano yoshobora kugereranywa n’isima yo kwubakisha ifatanije amatafari aba yubatse inzu ikomeye. Iyo sima baba bayiponze bakoresheje umusenyi, isima n’amazi. Mu buryo busa n’ubwo, indagano iba igizwe n’ukubona ko uri n’ico utegerezwa gushitsa, ukizigira uwundi ukongera ukamugira umugenzi. None ni ibiki vyoshobora gutitura iyo ndagano?

Ni ingorane izihe zishobora kubangamira iyo ndagano?

Gushitsa indagano bisaba igikorwa kitoroshe no kugira ivyo uhevye. Bisaba ko ugira umutima ukunze wo guheba ivyo ukunda kugira ngo unezereze uwo mwubakanye. Ariko rero, iciyumviro co kwemera guhebera uwundi ivyo yipfuza, ukabimuronsa utarinze kwibaza ngo ‘none nza kuhungukira iki?’, gisigaye gikundwa na bake, mbere hari n’abo kibabaza. Ariko niwibaze uti: ‘Ni abantu b’abikunzi bangana iki noba nzi bafise umubano urangwa agahimbare?’ Birashoboka ko boba ari bake, niba hoho bariho. Uti kubera iki? Birashoboka ko umuntu yikunda ananirwa kuguma ashitsa indagano yiwe y’ukwabirana igihe biba bisaba ko agira ivyo ahevye, na canecane igihe ata nyungu aca aronka ubwo nyene kubera utwo tuntu dutoyi yoba yemeye guheba. Niba ababiranye badashitsa indagano yabo, ubucuti bwabo burashobora kwononekara, naho boba bariyumvanamwo gute igihe batangura gukundana.

Bibiliya iremeza mu buryo bwumvikana ko ukwubaka atari ukujandajanda. Ivuga yuko “umugabo yubatse arazwa ishinga n’ibintu vy’isi, ingene yoshimwa n’umugore wiwe,” kandi ko “umugore yubatse arazwa ishinga n’ibintu vy’isi, ingene yoshimwa n’umugabo wiwe.” (1 Abakorinto 7:33, 34) Ikibabaje ni uko n’abubatse mu bisanzwe atari abikunzi batama nantaryo batahura ibiraje ishinga uwo bubakanye canke ngo bahe agaciro utwigoro agira. Igihe umwumwe mu bubakanye adashima ivyo uwundi akora, nta gukeka ko umubano wabo uzotuma bagira “amakuba mu mubiri wabo” gusumba uko vyogenze igihe boba bagaragarizanya icubahiro.​—1 Abakorinto 7:28.

Nimba mwipfuza ko umubano wanyu ivyifatamwo neza mu bihe bigoye, vyongeye ugasagamba mu bihe vyiza, murakeneye kurushiriza kubona ko ubucuti bwanyu ari ubw’igihe kirekire. Ushobora gute none gutsimbataza kuguma ubona ibintu muri ubwo buryo, kandi ushobora gute kuremesha uwo mwubakanye kuguma ashitsa indagano mwagiraniye?

Ingene wokomeza indagano

Ikintu nyamukuru cogufasha ni ugushira mu ngiro wicishije bugufi impanuro zo mw’Ijambo ry’Imana, Bibiliya. Niwabigenza gutyo ‘bizokugirira ikimazi’ be n’uwo mwubakanye. (Yesaya 48:17) Reka turimbure intambwe zibiri gusa ushobora gutera.

1. Nushire imbere umubano wanyu.

Intumwa Paulo yanditse ati: “Mwiyemeze neza ibintu bihambaye kuruta ivyo ari vyo.” (Abafilipi 1:10) Ukuntu umwe wese mu bubakanye afata mugenziwe birahambaye cane mu nyonga z’Imana. Umugabo atera iteka umukenyezi wiwe, na we azoterwa iteka n’Imana. Vyongeye, umugore yubaha umunega wiwe arafise “agaciro kanini mu maso y’Imana.”​—1 Petero 3:1-4, 7.

Wewe ubona ko umubano wanyu uhambaye ku rugero rungana iki? Mu bisanzwe, uko ubona ko ikintu gihambaye cane, ni ko uca ugihebera umwanya munini kuruta. Niwibaze uti: ‘Mu kwezi guheze nari nategekanije kumarana umwanya ungana gute n’uwo twubakanye? Ni ibintu kandondwa ibihe noba narakoreye uwo twubakanye kugira ngo ndamwereke neza yuko tukiri abagenzi somambike?’ Hamwe woba wakoresheje umwanya muto canke ukaba ata n’uwo wakoresheje kugira ngo werekane neza ko witaho uwo mwubakanye, vyoshobora kumugora kwemera ko muriko mushitsa indagano y’uko muzoguma mwunze ubumwe.

Ubwo uwo mwubakanye yoba abona ko uriko urashitsa indagano yanyu y’ukwabirana? None ivyo wobimenya gute?

2. Niwirinde ubwoko bwose bwo guhemuka.

Yezu Kristu yavuze ati: “Umuntu wese aguma araba umugore bigatuma amugirira inambu, aba amaze kurenga ibigo kuri we mu mutima wiwe.” (Matayo 5:28) Igihe umuntu yisutse mu vyo guhuza ibitsina n’uwo batubakanye, ubwo bumwe bari bafitaniye n’uwo bubakanye aba abukwegeye icago c’agacavutu, ivyo Bibiliya ikaba ivuga ko bishobora gutuma haba ukwahukana. (Matayo 5:32) Yamara rero, amajambo ya Yezu yasubiwemwo aho haruguru arerekana ko umuntu ashobora kumara igihe kinini afise mu mutima icipfuzo co kurenga ibigo imbere y’uko agishira mu ngiro. Kwitsimbatazamwo ico cipfuzo kibi ubwavyo ni uguhemukira uwo mwubakanye.

Kugira ngo uzigame indagano y’ukwabirana wagize, niwiyemeze icese kutazokwigera uraba amashusho yerekana ubushegabo. Naho benshi boshobora kwivugira ivyo bashatse, amashusho yerekana ubushegabo ni ubumara bwonona umubano w’ababiranye. Raba ingene umugore umwe yaseruye ukuntu yumva amerewe ku bijanye n’ingeso umunega wiwe afise yo kuraba amashusho yerekana ubushegabo. Avuga ati: “Umunega wanje avuga yuko ngo kuraba amashusho yerekana ubushegabo vyongereza urukundo dufitaniye. Yamara nta kindi bikora atari ugutuma numva yuko ata gaciro mfise, ko ntamubumba. Ndyama ndira igihe aba ariko araraba ayo mashusho.” None woba wovuga ko uwo mugabo aba ariko arakomeza indagano y’ukwabirana yagize canke aba ariko arayititura? Woba wibaza ko aba ariko aratuma umukenyezi wiwe birushiriza kumworohera kuguma ashitsa indagano y’ukwabirana yagize? Yoba aba ariko aramufata nk’umugenzi wiwe somambike?

Wa mugabo w’umwizigirwa Yobu yaravuze ibijanye n’indagano y’ukwabirana yagize be n’iyo yagiriye Imana, mu kugira ‘isezerano n’amaso yiwe.’ Yari yariyemeje ‘kudashira ijisho ku mwigeme.’ (Yobu 31:1) None wokwigana Yobu gute?

Uretse ivyo kwirinda kuraba amashusho yerekana ubushegabo, urakeneye kurinda umutima wawe ngo ntutume ugiranira ubucuti butabereye n’uwo mudasangiye igitsina. Ego ni ko, abantu benshi babona ko gukwegana n’abo badasangiye igitsina bitagirira nabi umubano w’ababiranye. Mugabo Ijambo ry’Imana ritugabisha riti: “Umutima uribesha kuruta ibindi vyose, urwaye indwara itavūrwa: ni nde yowumenya?” (Yeremiya 17:9) Umutima wawe woba warakubeshe? Niwibaze uti: ‘Ni nde nitwararika cane kuruta abandi? Yoba ari uwo twubakanye canke ni uwundi muntu tudasangiye igitsina? Ni nde mpora mbanza kubwira agakuru keza? Yoba ari uwo twubakanye canke ni uwundi muntu? Niba uwo twubakanye ansavye kutarenza urugero mu kuntu nifatanya n’uwo tudasangiye igitsina, noba ndavyakira gute? Noba nca nshangashirwa canke noba nca ngira amahinduka akenewe ndabigiranye umunezero?’

Niwibwirize kugira ico ukoze

Michael na Maria, bamwe twavuga mu ntango, barafashe ingingo yo gusaba impanuro ku bijanye n’ukuntu botorera umuti ingorane zabo. Ego ni ko, ukurondera impanuro ni intambwe ya mbere gusa bateye. Mugabo, kuba Michael na Maria baragize umutima ukunze wo guhangana n’ingorane bari bafise be no kurondera imfashanyo, bompi barerekanye neza yuko bariko barashitsa indagano y’ukwabirana bagiraniye, ko biteguriye gukora uko bashoboye kwose kugira ngo baroranirwe mu mubano wabo.

Umubano wanyu waba utekaniwe canke urimwo ingorane, uwo mwubakanye arakeneye kumenya yuko wiyemeje gutuma muroranirwa mu mubano wanyu. Nutere intambwe izo ari zo zose zibereye zoba zikenewe kugira ngo ujijure uwo mwubakanye kuri ico kintu. Woba witeguriye kubigira?