“Imashini irusha izindi kwiga ibintu byinshi”

HARI abantu bavuga ko ubwonko bw’uruhinja ari “imashini irusha izindi kwiga ibintu byinshi mu isanzure ry’ikirere,” kandi ni mu gihe. Iyo umwana amaze kuvuka, aba afite ubushobozi bwo gufata mu mutwe ibyo abona byose, ibyo yumva n’ibimukoraho byose.

Uretse n’ibyo, umwana w’uruhinja ashishikazwa no kureba isura y’abantu, kumva amajwi yabo kandi agashishikazwa n’uko bamukozeho. Mu gitabo uwitwa Penelope Leach yanditse, yaravuze ati “hakozwe ubushakashatsi bwinshi ku birebana n’ibyo abana bashishikarira kureba, kumva hamwe n’ibyo bifuza gukorerwa. [Ubwo bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko] akenshi ibyo byose babihabwa n’umuntu ukuze ubitaho” (Babyhood). Ntibitangaje rero kuba ababyeyi bagira uruhare nk’urwo rw’ingenzi cyane mu mikurire y’umwana.

“Navugaga nk’uruhinja”

Ababyeyi n’abaganga bita ku bana na bo batangazwa n’ubushobozi uruhinja ruba rufite bwo kwiga ururimi, binyuze mu gutega amatwi gusa. Abashakashatsi babonye ko mu minsi mike, umwana w’uruhinja aba amaze kumenya ijwi rya nyina, kandi akaba ari ryo akunda kurusha iry’undi muntu wese. Nanone babonye ko nyuma y’ibyumweru bike, aba ashobora gutandukanya amajwi yo mu rurimi kavukire rw’ababyeyi be n’amajwi y’izindi ndimi. Nyuma y’amezi make, aba ashobora gutandukanya amagambo agize interuro, ku buryo ashobora kumenya niba umuntu avuga amagambo mu buryo bukwiriye cyangwa budakwiriye.

Intumwa Pawulo wari Umukristo yaranditse ati “nkiri uruhinja, navugaga nk’uruhinja” (1 Abakorinto 13:11). Umwana w’uruhinja avuga ate? Ubusanzwe, aba ameze nk’ujujura, asukiranya amagambo menshi atumvikana. Ariko se koko ibyo avuga nta cyo biba bivuze? Ibyo si ko biri. Mu gitabo dogiteri Lise Eliot yanditse, yavuze ko kuvuga ari “akazi gahambaye gasaba ko habaho imikoranire yihuse y’imikaya ikoresha iminwa, ururimi, urusenge rw’akanwa n’inkanka.” Yunzemo ati “nubwo kujujura bishobora kuba ari bwo buryo bwiza impinja zikoresha zitabaza kugira ngo zitabweho, ni na bwo buryo bw’ingenzi cyane bwo kumenyereza imikaya igira uruhare ruhambaye mu kuvuga.”—What’s Going On in There?—How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life.

Ababyeyi na bo basubiza abana babo bakoresheje imvugo idasanzwe yo kubashimisha, kandi ibyo na byo hari icyo biba bigamije. Iyo mvugo idasanzwe ishishikariza umwana kugira icyo avuga. Icyo kiganiro kiba hagati y’umwana n’umubyeyi, gituma umwana agira ubuhanga bwo kuganira, aba azakoresha ubuzima bwe bwose.

Inshingano zigenda zihinduka

Ababyeyi bafite umwana w’uruhinja, baba bahugiye mu kwita ku byo uwo mwana wabo akenera buri munsi. Umwana ararira bakamugaburira, yakongera bakamuhindurira, yakongera bakamucigatira. Ibyo byose biba bikwiriye kandi ni ngombwa, kuko ari bwo buryo bw’ibanze ababyeyi basohozamo inshingano yabo yo kwita ku mwana.—1 Abatesalonike 2:7.

Dukurikije ibyo tumaze kubona, biri muri kamere y’umwana w’uruhinja kumva ko ari we muntu w’ingenzi kuruta abandi, kandi ko abantu bakuru, cyane cyane ababyeyi be, babereyeho gukora ibyo abasabye. Nubwo iyo ari imitekerereze idakwiriye, irumvikana rwose. Zirikana ko umwana w’uruhinja amara umwaka urenga afashwe atyo. Uwo mwana aba yumva ko ari umutware utegeka igihugu gituwe n’abantu bakuru babereyeho kumukorera. Umujyanama mu by’imiryango witwa John Rosemond, yagize ati “iyo myumvire idashyize mu gaciro umwana ayigira mu gihe kitageze ku myaka ibiri, ariko bikazasaba indi myaka nibura cumi n’itandatu kugira ngo ayivanemo. Igitangaje ni uko ibyo byose ari umubyeyi ubigiramo uruhare: ni we utuma umwana yumva ko iyo mitekerereze ikwiriye, akagira n’uruhare mu kuzayirandura mu bwenge bw’umwana, ariko akabikorana ubugwaneza.”

Iyo umwana agize imyaka nk’ibiri, amenya ko ya mitekerereze ye idakwiriye, kuko noneho ababyeyi be baba batakimwitaho gusa, ahubwo batangira no kumwigisha. Icyo gihe, umwana amenya ko ababyeyi be batakimwumvira, ahubwo ko ari we ugomba kubumvira. Ni nk’aho bwa butegetsi bw’umwana buba buhiritswe, kandi akaba adashaka kugandukira ubutegetsi bushya bw’ababyeyi be. Iyo abonye bimuyobeye, agerageza kwihagararaho. Abigenza ate?

Mu gihe umwana yirakaje

Iyo abana benshi bagize imyaka nk’ibiri barahinduka cyane, bakagira imyifatire idasanzwe, kandi bakagira ingeso yo kwirakaza. Umwana ugeze muri icyo kigero atesha ababyeyi umutwe. Uwo mwana w’igitambambuga agira atya agahinduka, icyo umubwiye cyose akagusubiza ati “ndanze” cyangwa ati “sinshaka.” Ashobora kumva yiyanze kandi akumva yanze n’ababyeyi be, ari na ko ahangana n’ibyiyumvo bitandukanye bimurwaniramo. Ku ruhande rumwe aba yumva adashaka ababyeyi, ku rundi ruhande akumva abakeneye. Ababyeyi na bo barashoberwa bakabura icyo bafata n’icyo bareka, kuko baba babona ibyo bakora bisa n’aho nta cyo bigeraho. Biba byagenze bite?

Reka dusuzume uko biba byagendekeye uwo mwana w’igitambambuga. Mu myaka mike ishize, yariraga maze abantu bakuru bagahita baza biruka. Ariko noneho, ajya kubona akabona ko burya “ubutware” bwe bwari ubw’igihe gito, kandi ko hari ibyo agomba kujya yikorera. Uko iminsi ihita, agenda arushaho gusobanukirwa ko agomba kumvira, ibyo akaba ari na byo Bibiliya ivuga igira iti “bana, mujye mwumvira ababyeyi banyu muri byose.”—Abakolosayi 3:20.

Muri icyo gihe kitoroshye, ababyeyi bagombye gukomera ku nshingano yabo y’ubutware. Iyo babikoranye urukundo ariko nanone batajenjetse, bituma umwana yumva ko noneho agomba kumvira. Uretse n’ibyo, ibyo agenda amenya biba bizamugirira akamaro nyuma yaho.

Uko yatozwa imico myiza

Inyamaswa ndetse n’imashini, zishobora kumenya amagambo kandi zikigana imvugo runaka. Ariko abantu ni bo bonyine bashobora kwisuzuma kandi bagatekereza ku byabaye. Ku bw’ibyo, iyo umwana w’igitambambuga agejeje ku myaka nk’ibiri cyangwa itatu, aba ashobora kwirata, kugira isoni, kumva umutimanama umucira urubanza cyangwa kumva ko abangamiwe. Ibyo ni byo bihe agomba kubanza kunyuramo mbere y’uko aba umuntu mukuru urangwa n’ubupfura, wa wundi ushobora gukomera ku byiza nubwo abandi baba bakora ibibi.

Hari ikindi kintu gitangaje ababyeyi babona iyo umwana ageze muri icyo kigero. Umwana wabo atangira gusobanukirwa uko abandi biyumva. Iyo afite imyaka ibiri akina ari wenyine, ariko yamara kurenga icyo kigero agatangira gushyikirana n’abandi, kandi agakina na bo. Nanone iyo ababyeyi be bamerewe neza arabimenya, kandi akifuza kubashimisha. Icyo gihe rero ni bwo aba ageze igihe cyo kwigishwa.

Icyo gihe noneho, uwo mwana uri mu kigero cy’imyaka itatu aba atangiye kumenya amahame agenga icyiza n’ikibi, igikwiriye n’ikidakwiriye. Icyo gihe ni bwo ababyeyi baba bagomba gutoza abana babo, bagamije kubafasha kuzaba abantu bakuze bashobora kuzagira icyo bimarira.

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 5]

Mu minsi mike, umwana w’uruhinja aba amaze kumenya ijwi rya nyina, kandi akaba ari ryo akunda kurusha iry’undi muntu wese

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 6]

Icyo gihe noneho, uwo mwana uri mu kigero cy’imyaka itatu aba atangiye kumenya amahame agenga icyiza n’ikibi, igikwiriye n’ikidakwiriye

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 6]

IMPAMVU UMWANA ASHOBORA GUKOMEZA KWIRAKAZA

Uwitwa John Rosemond yaravuze ati “hari ababyeyi bumva ko kuba umwana yirakaza biterwa n’uko baba bakoze ikosa ryo kutamuha ibyo abasabye byose. Kubera ko baba bumva ko ari bo batumye arakara, batekereza ko hari icyo bakwiriye gukora vuba na bwangu kugira ngo uwo mwana acururuke. Ibyo bituma bemerera umwana ibyo bari bamwimye, cyangwa baba bamukubise bakamuha ibirenze ibyo yari yasabye kugira ngo bagire amahoro. Ubwo buryo busa n’aho bugira icyo bugeraho, kuko umwana areka kwirakaza kandi ababyeyi bakumva baruhutse. Ariko kandi, umwana ahita abona ko ubwo ari uburyo bwo kubona ibyo ashaka, maze akarushaho kujya yirakaza kandi akabikorana amayeri menshi.”—New Parent Power.