Kurera umwana kuva mu bwana kugeza abaye ingimbi

“Iyo abana batarageza ku myaka itanu, baba bibera mu muryango bameze neza kandi kubatoza imico myiza biba byoroshye. Icyakora iyo batangiye ishuri, bamenya utuntu twinshi n’imvugo zitandukanye.” —Valter wo mu Butaliyani.

UKO abana bagenda bakura, batangira kubona ibintu batari basanzwe babona iwabo. Bahura n’abantu batandukanye, urugero nk’abana bakina na bo, abo bigana n’abandi bene wabo. Kimwe na Valter tumaze kuvuga, icyo gihe si wowe wenyine uba ufite uruhare ku burere bw’umwana wawe nk’uko byari bimeze akiri uruhinja. Ni yo mpamvu ugomba gufasha uwo mwana ukiri muto kumenya akamaro ko kumvira no kugira ikinyabupfura. Nanone ni iby’ingenzi ko umwigisha gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi.

Izo nyigisho tumaze kuvuga ntizizahita zimucengera mu buryo bworoshye. Bizaba ngombwa ko ‘uhana, ugatanga inama, ufite kwihangana kose n’ubuhanga bwose bwo kwigisha’ (2 Timoteyo 4:2). Ababyeyi b’Abisirayeli bari barahawe inama ku birebana n’Amategeko y’Imana. Iyo nama igira iti “ujye uyacengeza mu bana bawe kandi ujye uyababwira igihe mwicaye mu nzu, igihe mugenda mu nzira, igihe muryamye n’igihe mubyutse” (Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6, 7). Iyo mirongo y’Ibyanditswe igaragaza ko kwigisha umwana ari uguhozaho.

Inshingano yo kurera umwana ikubiyemo ibintu bitandukanye, kandi bitoroshye gushyira mu bikorwa. Reka dusuzume bimwe muri byo.

Igihe cyo gutega amatwi

Bibiliya ivuga ko nubwo hari “igihe cyo kuvuga,” hari n’igihe cyo gutega amatwi (Umubwiriza 3:7). Wakwigisha ute umwana wawe kugutega amatwi no gutega abandi amatwi igihe bavuga? Bumwe mu buryo bwagufasha kubigeraho, ni ukumuha urugero rwiza. Ese iyo abantu bagize icyo bakubwira, hakubiyemo n’abana bawe, ubatega amatwi witonze?

Abana bashobora kurangara mu buryo bworoshye, kandi igihe uzaba ugerageza gushyikirana na bo bizagusaba kwihangana. Kubera ko buri mwana atandukanye n’undi, jya witegereza maze umenye uburyo bwiza bwo gushyikirana n’umwana wawe. Urugero, umubyeyi wo mu Bwongereza witwa David yaravuze ati “nsaba umwana wacu w’umukobwa kunsubiriramo ibyo mba maze kumubwira. Ku bw’ibyo, uko agenda akura ni ko agenda yitoza gutega amatwi.”

Igihe Yesu yigishaga abigishwa be, yarababwiye ati “mujye mwitondera uko mwumva” (Luka 8:18). None se niba abantu bakuru basabwa gutega amatwi, ubwo abana ntibagombye kurushaho kubigenza batyo?

‘Mubabarirane rwose’

Bibiliya igira iti “mukomeze kwihanganirana no kubabarirana rwose igihe umuntu agize icyo apfa n’undi” (Abakolosayi 3:13). Abana bagombye gutozwa umuco wo kubabarira abandi. Ababyeyi bawubatoza bate?

Nk’uko tumaze kubivuga mu ngingo ivuga ibyo gutega amatwi, ugomba guha abana urugero rwiza. Abana bawe bagombye kwibonera ko ubabarira abandi. Umubyeyi wo mu Burusiya witwa Marina yihatira kubigeraho. Yaravuze ati “tugerageza guha abana bacu urugero rwiza mu birebana no kubabarira abandi, kuva ku izima no kutarakara.” Yongeyeho ati “iyo nkoshereje abana banjye, mbasaba imbabazi kugira ngo mbatoze kubabarira abandi.”

Ni iby’ingenzi ko abana bamaze kuba bakuru bagira ubushobozi bwo gukemura amakimbirane n’umuco wo kubabarira abandi. Jya utoza abana bawe kubaha abandi no kwirengera ingaruka z’amakosa yabo. Nubigenza utyo uzaba ubahaye impano y’agaciro kenshi izabagirira akamaro bamaze kuba bakuru.

“Mujye muba abantu bashimira”

Muri ibi ‘bihe biruhije, bigoye kwihanganira,’ abantu benshi ‘barikunda’ (2 Timoteyo 3:1, 2). Igihe abana banyu bakiri bato, mujye mubatoza gushimira. Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “mujye muba abantu bashimira.”—Abakolosayi 3:15.

Abana bashobora gutozwa kugira ikinyabupfura no kwita ku bandi nubwo baba bakiri bato cyane. Wabibatoza ute? Hari ikinyamakuru Dogiteri Kyle Pruett yabwiye ati “ikintu cyagufasha kurusha ibindi, ni ukugaragaza uwo muco buri gihe mu muryango. Ibyo byumvikanisha ko wagombye guhora uvuga ukuntu wishimira ubufasha uhabwa n’abandi cyangwa ibindi bikorwa bagukorera bigaragaza ko bakwitaho. . . . Icyakora bisaba guhozaho.”—Parents.

Umubyeyi wo mu Bwongereza witwa Richard akora uko ashoboye kugira ngo abigereho. Yaravuze ati “jye n’umugore wanjye twereka abana bacu ko dushimira abantu batugiriye neza, urugero nk’abarimu, cyangwa ababyeyi bacu. Iyo twasuye umuryango ukatwakira, tubandikira ikarita yo kubashimira maze abana bose bakayishyiraho umukono cyangwa bakayishushanyaho.” Kugira neza no gushimira bizafasha umwana wawe kubana neza n’abandi mu gihe azaba amaze kuba mukuru.

“Ntukareke guhana umwana”

Uko abana bawe bagenda bakura, ni iby’ingenzi ko bamenya ko ibyo umuntu akora bimugiraho ingaruka. Mu gihe abana bakiri bato, na bwo baba bagomba kugira ibyo basabwa, batabikurikiza bakabiryozwa, haba mu rugo, ku ishuri no mu gace batuyemo. Ushobora gufasha abana bawe gusobanukirwa ihame rivuga ko ibyo umuntu abiba ari byo asarura (Abagalatiya 6:7). Wabigeraho ute?

Bibiliya igira iti “ntukareke guhana umwana” (Imigani 23:13). Numara gusobanurira umwana ko ikintu kibi yakoze kizamugiraho ingaruka, ntukagire impungenge zo kumuhana nk’uko wabimubwiye. Umubyeyi wo muri Arijantine witwa Norma, yaravuze ati “ni iby’ingenzi ko wubahiriza ibyo wavuze. Iyo utabigenje utyo, biha umwana urwaho rwo gukora ibyo yishakiye.”

Kugira ngo ababyeyi birinde impaka z’urudaca bagirana n’abana babo nyuma yo kubafatira mu ikosa, bagombye kubamenyesha mbere y’igihe ingaruka zizabageraho nibaramuka barenze ku itegeko bahawe. Iyo abana bazi amategeko n’ingaruka zizabageraho nibatayakurikiza, kandi bakaba basobanukiwe impamvu bari bugerweho n’izo ngaruka byanze bikunze, ntibakunda kujya impaka.

Icyakora kugira ngo igihano kigire akamaro, ntikigomba gutanganwa uburakari. Bibiliya igira iti “gusharira kose n’uburakari n’umujinya no gukankama no gutukana bive muri mwe” (Abefeso 4:31). Umubyeyi ntiyagombye guhana umwana amuhutaza, amukomeretsa cyangwa ngo amuhungabanye mu byiyumvo.

Ariko se wabigenza ute mu gihe umwana wawe akurakaje bikabije, ku buryo wumva kwihangana bikunaniye? Umubyeyi wo muri Nouvelle-Zélande witwa Peter yaravuze ati “nubwo biba bitoroshye, abana bagomba kumenya ko igihano bahawe ari ingaruka z’ibyo bakoze, ko bitatewe n’uko umubyeyi wabo yari yarakaye ngo ananirwe kwifata.”

Peter n’umugore we bakora uko bashoboye bagafasha abana babo kumenya akamaro igihano kizabagirira no mu gihe kizaza. Yaravuze ati “nubwo abana bacu baba bakoze ikosa rikabije, ntitwibanda ku ikosa bakoze, ahubwo tubereka uko bagomba kwitwara.”

“Gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose”

Igihe Imana yari igiye guhana abagaragu bayo, yarababwiye iti “nzaguhana mu rugero rukwiriye” (Yeremiya 46:28). Nutanga igihano gikwiranye n’ikosa ryakozwe ni bwo kizagira akamaro. Pawulo yandikiye Abakristo ati “gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose.”—Abafilipi 4:5.

Kimwe mu bintu bigaragaza ko ushyira mu gaciro, ni uko uhana abana bawe ku buryo na nyuma y’igihano bumva bagifite agaciro. Umubyeyi wo mu Butaliyani witwa Santi, yaravuze ati “sinjya ntesha agaciro umuhungu wanjye cyangwa umukobwa wanjye. Ahubwo ngerageza gutahura icyamuteye gukora ikosa, akaba ari cyo nibandaho. Mu gihe bishoboka, nirinda guhanira umwana imbere y’abandi bantu cyangwa imbere y’abandi bana bavukana. Nanone sinjya muserereza mvuga intege nke ze, haba mu ruhame cyangwa twiherereye.”

Richard twigeze kuvuga na we yagaragaje ibindi byiza byo gushyira mu gaciro. Yaravuze ati “ntiwagombye guhana umwana umuziza n’ibyo yakoze mu gihe cyashize. Niba warangije guhana umwana, si ngombwa ko uhora ugaruka ku makosa yakoze.”

Kurera abana ni inshingano itoroshye kandi isaba kwigomwa, ariko nanone ihesha ingororano nyinshi. Umubyeyi wo mu Burusiya witwa Yelena yabonye ko ibyo ari ukuri. Yaravuze ati “nashatse akazi nkora igihe gito, kugira ngo mbone igihe marana n’umuhungu wanjye. Binsaba imihati kandi bigatuma amafaranga nabonaga agabanuka. Ariko kandi, iyo nitegereje ukuntu bishimisha umuhungu wanjye kandi tukarushaho gukundana, nsanga ntaruhira ubusa.”

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 11]

Abana bashobora gutozwa kwita ku bandi

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 12]

Jya uhana abana ariko ntukabateshe agaciro