Kwitegura ishyingiranwa ryiza

1, 2. (a) Yesu yagaragaje ate akamaro ko kwitegura mbere y’igihe? (b) Ni ryari cyane cyane kwitegura mbere y’igihe biba ari ngombwa?

KUBAKA inzu bisaba imyiteguro ikomeye. Ugomba kubanza gushaka ikibanza n’igishushanyo mbonera kigakorwa mbere yo kubaka fondasiyo. Icyakora, hari ikindi kintu cya ngombwa. Yesu yarabajije ati “ni nde muri mwe ushaka kubaka inzu y’amatafari ndende, utabanza kwicara akabara umubare w’impiya zayubaka, ngo amenye yuko afite izikwiriye kuyuzuza?”—Luka 14:28.

² Uko ni na ko bimeze ku muntu ushaka kuzagira ishyingiranwa ryiza. Hari abantu benshi bavuga bati “ndashaka kurushinga.” Ariko se, ni bangahe babanza gutekereza ku cyo ibyo bisaba? N’ubwo Bibiliya ivuga neza ishyingiranwa, ntiduhisha n’ibibazo bishobora kuvuka mu ishyingiranwa (Imigani 18:22; 1 Abakorinto 7:28). Ku bw’ibyo rero, abifuza kurushinga bagomba gushyira mu gaciro bakamenya ko mu ishyingiranwa habamo ibyiza n’ibibi.

3. Kuki twavuga ko Bibiliya ikubiyemo inama z’ingirakamaro ku bifuza kurushinga, kandi se izadufasha gusubiza ibihe bibazo bitatu?

³ Bibiliya ishobora kubidufashamo. Inama ziyikubiyemo zaturutse kuri Yehova Imana, we watangije gahunda y’ishyingirwa (Abefeso 3:14, 15; 2 Timoteyo 3:16). Reka twifashishe amahame aboneka muri icyo gitabo, yego cya kera, ariko kandi gihuje n’igihe tugezemo, maze dusubize ibibazo bikurikira: (1) umuntu yabwirwa n’iki ko ageze igihe cyo gushaka? (2) Ni ibiki uwo twifuza kuzabana agomba kuba yujuje? (3) Twakora iki kugira ngo turambagizanye mu buryo bwiyubashye?

WABA UGEZE IGIHE CYO GUSHAKA?

4. Ni ikihe kintu cy’ingenzi gisabwa kugira ngo umuntu azagire ishyingiranwa ryiza, kandi kuki ari icy’ingenzi?

⁴ Kubaka inzu bishobora guhenda cyane, ariko no kuyisana uyitaho uko igihe gihita na byo bitwara amafaranga. Ni ko bimeze no mu ishyingiranwa. Kurushinga ubwabyo bisa n’aho bitoroshye, ariko ugomba no gutekereza ku kuntu uzabumbatira imishyikirano myiza n’uwo mwashakanye mu myaka izakurikiraho. Gukomeza kubumbatira iyo mishyikirano bisaba iki? Kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi ni ukwiyemeza n’umutima wawe wose. Ku birebana n’ishyingiranwa, Bibiliya ivuga ko “umuntu azasiga se na nyina, akabana n’umugore we akaramata, bombi bakaba umubiri umwe” (Itangiriro 2:24). Yesu Kristo yagaragaje impamvu imwe rukumbi igaragara mu Byanditswe yemerera umuntu gutana n’uwo bashakanye, akaba yashaka undi. Iyo mpamvu ni ‘ubusambanyi,’ ni ukuvuga guca inyuma uwo mwashakanye (Matayo 19:9). Niba uteganya gushaka, ugomba kuzirikana ayo mahame yo mu Byanditswe. Niba wumva utiteguye kwiyemeza nta buryarya kuzayakurikiza, ni ukuvuga ko utarageza igihe cyo gushaka.—Gutegeka 23:22; Umubwiriza 5:3, 4.

5. N’ubwo hari abatinya kwiyemeza kuzabana n’umuntu akaramata, kuki abifuza kurushinga bagombye kubifatana uburemere?

⁵ Hari benshi bakurwa umutima n’icyo gitekerezo cyo kwiyemeza nta buryarya kubana n’umuntu akaramata. Hari umusore wagize ati “iyo natekerezaga ko twembi tuzabana akaramata igihe cyose tuzaba tukiriho, numvaga ari nko kumfata ukanterera mu kumba, ukamfungiramo, ukadanangira.” Ariko iyo ukunda by’ukuri uwo muzabana, kwiyemeza kuzabana na we akaramata ntibizakubera umutwaro. Ahubwo bizakubera isoko y’umutekano. Iyo umugabo n’umugore bazirikana ko biyemeje kuzabana akaramata, bituma bifuza kugumana mu byiza no mu bibi, kandi bagashyigikirana uko byagenda kose. Pawulo, intumwa y’Umukristo, yanditse avuga ko urukundo nyakuri “rubabarira byose” kandi ko “rwihanganira byose” (1 Abakorinto 13:4, 7). Hari umugore wavuze ati “kuba jye n’uwo twashakanye twariyemeje kuzabana akaramata bituma ndushaho kumva mfite umutekano. Kuba twariyemereye ko tuzabana akaramata tukabyemerera n’imbere ya rubanda, bimpa amahoro.”—Umubwiriza 4:9-12.

6. Kuki ari byiza kutihutira gushaka umuntu akiri muto?

⁶ Kugira ngo abashakanye babane akaramata nk’uko babyiyemeje, bagomba kuba bakuze. Ni yo mpamvu Pawulo agira Abakristo inama yo kudashaka batararenga “igihe cy’amabyiruka,” igihe baba bafite irari ryinshi ry’ibitsina kandi rishobora gutuma batabona ibintu uko biri (1 Abakorinto 7:36, NW ). Uko abakiri bato bagenda bakura barahinduka cyane. Abenshi mu bashakana bakiri bato cyane, mu myaka mike gusa basanga ibyo bakenera n’ibyifuzo byabo n’iby’uwo bashakanye byarahindutse. Hari raporo zigaragaza ko abantu bashakana bakiri ingimbi n’abangavu bakunda kubura ibyishimo kandi bagatana cyane kuruta abategereza ho gato. Ku bw’ibyo rero, ntukihutire gushaka. Ya myaka umara mu buseribateri ushobora kuyigiramo ibintu byinshi by’ingirakamaro bizatuma ukura kandi ukazavamo umugabo cyangwa umugore ukwiriye, wujuje ibisabwa. Gutegereza bishobora no kugufasha kwimenya neza kurushaho, ibyo bikaba ari ibintu by’ingenzi niba ushaka kuzagirana imishyikirano myiza n’uwo muzashakana.

BANZA WIMENYE WOWE UBWAWE

7. Kuki abateganya kurushinga bagomba kubanza kwisuzuma?

⁷ Ese ushobora kuvuga bitakugoye imico wifuza ku wo muzabana? Abantu hafi ya bose baba bayizi. Naho se imico yawe yo bite? Ni iyihe mico ufite izagufasha kugira ibyishimo mu muryango? Uzaba umugabo cyangwa umugore ki? Urugero, ese waba ubangukirwa no kwemera amakosa yawe kandi ukemera kugirwa inama, cyangwa ahubwo uhora ushaka kwisobanura iyo hagize ugukosora? Ese muri rusange waba urangwa n’akanyamuneza n’icyizere, cyangwa ahubwo uhora wijimye kandi ugakunda kwitotomba (Imigani 8:33; 15:15)? Zirikana ko gushaka bitazahindura kamere yawe. Niba uri umwibone, urakazwa n’ubusa cyangwa utarangwa n’icyizere mu gihe ukiri ingaragu, ni ko uzakomeza kuba na nyuma yo gushaka. Kubera ko bitajya bitworohera kwibona uko abandi batubona se, kuki utasaba nk’umubyeyi wawe cyangwa incuti wiringira bakakubwiza ukuri uko bakubona cyangwa bakakugira inama? Niba umenye ko hari icyo ugomba guhindura muri kamere yawe, gihindure mbere yo gutera intambwe ziganisha ku ishyingirwa.

8-10. Ni izihe nama Bibiliya itanga zifasha umuntu witegura kurushinga?

⁸ Bibiliya idutera inkunga yo kureka umwuka wera w’Imana ukadukoreramo, ukadufasha kugaragaza imico nk’ “urukundo n’ibyishimo n’amahoro, no kwihangana no kugira neza, n’ingeso nziza no gukiranuka, no kugwa neza no kwirinda.” Idusaba no ‘guhinduka bashya mu mwuka w’ubwenge bwacu’ no ‘kwambara umuntu mushya waremewe ibyo gukiranuka no kwera bizanywe n’ukuri nk’uko Imana yabishatse’ (Abagalatiya 5:22, 23; Abefeso 4:23, 24). Gukurikiza izo nama mu gihe ukiri ingaragu bizaba nko kubitsa amafaranga muri banki; bizakugirira akamaro cyane mu gihe uzaba umaze kurushinga.

⁹ Urugero, niba uri umukobwa, aho kwita cyane ku isura y’inyuma, itoze kwita cyane cyane ku ‘murimbo w’imbere uhishwe mu mutima’ (1 Petero 3:3, 4). Kwicisha bugufi no kwirinda bizaguhesha ubwenge, bwo ‘kamba ry’ubwiza’ (Imigani 4:9; 31:10, 30; 1 Timoteyo 2:9, 10). Niba uri umusore, itoze kugaragariza abantu b’igitsina gore ubugwaneza kandi ububahe (1 Timoteyo 5:1, 2). Mu gihe witoza gufata imyanzuro no gusohoza inshingano, itoze n’umuco wo kwicisha bugufi. Gutwaza igitugu bizateza ingorane mu muryango.—Imigani 29:23; Mika 6:8; Abefeso 5:28, 29.

¹⁰ N’ubwo guhinduka rwose ukaba mushya bitoroshye, Abakristo bose ni byo basabwa. Nubigeraho bizagufasha kuba umugabo cyangwa umugore mwiza.

NI IKI WAGOMBYE KUREBA KU WO MUZABANA?

11, 12. Umusore n’inkumi babwirwa n’iki niba bakwiranye cyangwa badakwiranye?

¹¹ Ese mu muco w’iwanyu umuntu yihitiramo uwo bazabana? Niba ari ko bimeze se, wakora iki mu gihe ubengutse umusore cyangwa inkumi? Banza wibaze uti ‘ese koko intego yanjye ni iyo gushaka?’ Ni bibi cyane gukina n’ibyiyumvo bya mugenzi wawe umutera kwiringira ibintu bidashoboka (Imigani 13:12). Ongera wibaze uti ‘ese koko mfite ibikwiriye byose kugira ngo nshake?’ Niba wujuje ibyo byombi, intambwe zizakurikiraho zizaterwa n’umuco wo mu karere utuyemo. Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, nyuma y’igihe runaka witegereza uwo wifuza kurambagiza, ushobora kumugezaho icyifuzo cyawe cy’uko ushaka kumumenya neza kurushaho. Niba atabishaka, ntukihambire ngo ugeze n’ubwo akwinuba. Zirikana ko na we afite uburenganzira bwo kwihitiramo uwo yifuza kuzabana na we. Icyakora niba abyishimiye, mushobora wenda kujya mumarana igihe mukora ibintu bidakemangwa. Ibyo bizagufasha kumenya niba bihwitse ko uwo muntu mubana.a Iyo bigeze aho ni iki wagombye kureba?

¹² Kugira ngo dusubize icyo kibazo, reka dutekereze ku bikoresho bibiri bya muzika, urugero nka piyano na gitari. Iyo imirya ireze neza, buri gikoresho gishobora gutanga umuzika mwiza cyane. Ariko se, bigenda bite iyo byombi bicurangiwe hamwe? Bisaba ko byombi bijyanirana. Ni ko bimeze no kuri wowe n’uwo mwifuza kuzabana. Buri wese muri mwe ashobora kuba yarakoze uko ashoboye kose kugira ngo anoze imico ye. Ikiba gisigaye ni ukumenya niba imico yanyu ijyanirana. Mu yandi magambo, murakwiranye?

13. Kuki ari bibi cyane kurambagizanya n’umuntu mudahuje ukwizera?

¹³ Ni ngombwa ko mwembi mwaba muhuje imyizerere kandi mugendera ku mahame amwe. Intumwa Pawulo yanditse agira ati “ntimwifatanye n’abatizera mudahwanye” (2 Abakorinto 6:14; 1 Abakorinto 7:39). Iyo ushakanye n’umuntu mudahuje ukwizera, muba mushobora kuzagira ibintu byinshi kandi bikomeye mutavugaho rumwe. Naho iyo mwembi musenga Yehova Imana, muba mufite urufatiro rukomeye rwo kugirana ubumwe. Yehova yifuza ko wowe n’uwo muzabana mwazagira ibyishimo kandi mukagirana imishyikirano ya bugufi uko bishoboka kose. Yifuza ko mwakunga ubumwe na we, namwe ubwanyu mukunga ubumwe, muhujwe n’umugozi w’inyabutatu w’urukundo.—Umubwiriza 4:12.

14, 15. Ese kuba abashakanye bahuje imyizerere ni byo byonyine byatuma bunga ubumwe? Sobanura.

¹⁴ N’ubwo kuba mwembi musenga Imana ari ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane kugira ngo mwunge ubumwe, hari n’ibindi bisabwa. Kugira ngo wowe n’uwo mwifuza kuzabana mube mukwiranye, mugomba kuba mufite intego zimwe. Mufite izihe ntego? Urugero, mutekereza iki ku birebana no kubyara? Ni iki mwimiriza imbere mu mibereho yanyub (Matayo 6:33)? Mu rugo rurimo ibyishimo nyakuri, abashakanye baba ari incuti magara kandi buri wese yishimira kuba ari kumwe n’undi (Imigani 17:17). Kugira ngo ibyo bishoboke, bagomba kuba bashishikazwa n’ibintu bimwe. Iyo abantu badashishikazwa n’ibintu bimwe, kugira ngo bazakomeze kuba incuti magara biragora, bashyingiranwa bwo bigahumira ku mirari. Ariko se, niba uwo muteganya kuzabana hari ibintu akunda wowe udakunda, urugero nko gutembera, byaba bisobanura ko mudashobora kubana? Si ko biri byanze bikunze. Hari ibindi bintu wenda by’ingenzi cyane mushobora kuba muhuriyeho. Icyakora nawe ushobora kwifatanya muri bimwe mu bintu byiza uwo muzabana akunda, kugira ngo yishime kuko abikunda.—Ibyakozwe 20:35.

¹⁵ Icyakora, kuba abantu bakwiranye ntibigaragazwa ahanini n’ibyo bahuriyeho, ahubwo bigaragazwa no kuba bafite ubushake bwo guhuza. Aho kwibaza muti “ese turahuza kuri buri kantu kose?,” byaba byiza kurushaho mwibajije muti “bigenda bite iyo hari ikintu tutumvikanaho? Ese dushobora kukiganiraho dutuje, twubahana? Cyangwa ibiganiro byacu bikunda kuvamo impaka ndende?” (Abefeso 4:29, 31). Niba ushaka kurushinga, byaba byiza wirinze umuntu wese w’umwibone wiyemera, utava ku izima cyangwa uhora ashaka ko ibyo yifuza ari byo byakorwa kandi agakora uko ashoboye kose kugira ngo abigereho.

BANZA UBAZE

16, 17. Ni ibihe bibazo umusore cyangwa umukobwa ashobora kwibaza mu gihe ashaka uwo bashobora kuzabana?

¹⁶ Mu itorero rya Gikristo, abahabwa inshingano bagomba “kubanza kugeragezwa” (1 Timoteyo 3:10). Nawe ushobora gukoresha iryo hame. Urugero, umukobwa ashobora kwibaza ati “uyu musore abandi bamuvugaho iki? Incuti ze ni izihe? Ese ni umuntu ufite umuco wo kwirinda? Afata ate abageze mu za bukuru? Aturuka mu muryango umeze ute? Abanye ate n’abagize umuryango we? Yifata ate ku birebana n’amafaranga? Yaba se anywa inzoga nyinshi? Yaba arakara vuba, ndetse wenda akagira urugomo? Afite izihe nshingano mu itorero, kandi se azisohoza ate? Nshobora se kumwubaha cyane?”—Abalewi 19:32; Imigani 22:29; 31:23; Abefeso 5:3-5, 33; 1 Timoteyo 5:8; 6:10; Tito 2:6, 7.

¹⁷ Umusore na we ashobora kwibaza ati “uyu mukobwa akunda Imana kandi arayubaha? Ese yashobora kwita ku rugo? Abagize umuryango we bazaba batwitezeho iki? Yaba ari umunyabwenge, umunyamwete, kandi adasesagura? Akunze kuvuga ku biki? Yaba azi kwita ku bandi by’ukuri, cyangwa arikunda? Yaba se ari kazitereyemo? Yaba ari umuntu wiringirwa? Yaba se ashobora kuganduka, cyangwa ni indakoreka, ndetse wenda ni ingare?”—Imigani 31:10-31; Luka 6:45; Abefeso 5:22, 23; 1 Timoteyo 5:13; 1 Petero 4:15.

18. Ni iki tugomba kuzirikana mu gihe dutahuye intege nke ariko zidakabije kuri mugenzi wacu mu gihe cy’irambagiza?

¹⁸ Icyakora, ntukibagirwe ko aba ari umuntu udatunganye wakomotse kuri Adamu; si nka ba bakobwa n’abasore bavugwa mu bitabo bivuga iby’urukundo. Twese tugira intege nke, kandi zimwe muri zo tuba tugomba kuzirengagiza, zaba ari izawe cyangwa iz’uwo mwifuza kuzabana (Abaroma 3:23; Yakobo 3:2). Ikindi kandi, kumenya aho ufite intege nke bishobora kugufasha gukura mu buryo bw’umwuka. Urugero, tuvuge wenda ko mu gihe murambagizanya havutse ikibazo mugatongana. Wibuke ko ndetse n’abantu bakundana kandi bubahana bashobora kugira ibyo batumvikanaho. (Gereranya n’Itangiriro 30:2; Ibyakozwe 15:39.) Ese aho mwembi ntimwaba mukeneye kwitoza kurushaho ‘kwitangīra mu mutima’ kandi mukitoza gukemura ibibazo mu mahoro (Imigani 25:28)? Ese uwo muteganya kuzabana yaba yiteguye kwikubita agashyi? Nawe se ni uko? Ese ntiwaba ukeneye kwitoza kutarakazwa n’ubusa (Umubwiriza 7:9)? Kwitoza gukemura ibibazo bishobora kubabera urufatiro rwo kuzajya muganira mutishishanya, ibyo bikaba bizababera ingirakamaro nimumara gushyingiranwa.—Abakolosayi 3:13.

19. Niba mu gihe cyo kurambagizanya havutse ibibazo bikomeye, byaba byiza ukoze iki?

¹⁹ Ariko se, wabigenza ute uramutse usanze hari ibintu akora wumva udashobora kwihanganira? Ugomba kubisuzuma witonze. Uko waba umukunda kose n’uko waba wifuza cyane gushaka kose, ntugapfe kwirengagiza amakosa aremereye (Imigani 22:3; Umubwiriza 2:14). Niba ufitanye imishyikirano n’umuntu ariko hari ibintu bikomeye umwishishaho, byaba byiza muyihagaritse kandi ukirinda kugirana na we amasezerano yo kuzabana iteka.

MURAMBAGIZANYE MU BURYO BWIYUBASHYE

20. Abarambagizanya bashobora bate gukomeza kuba indakemwa mu by’umuco?

²⁰ Mwarambagizanya mute mu buryo bwiyubashye? Icya mbere, mukore uko mushoboye kose imyifatire yanyu ibe izira amakemwa. Mu muco w’aho mutuye se, gufatana ikiganza mu kindi, gusomana cyangwa guhoberana byaba ari ibintu byemewe ku bantu batarashakana? N’iyo kandi ibintu nk’ibyo byo kugaragarizanya urukundo byaba bitabonwa nabi, byagombye gukorwa gusa n’abantu bari hafi gushyingiranwa. Mugomba kwirinda kugira ngo uko kugaragarizanya urukundo bye kuvamo ubwiyandarike cyangwa ubusambanyi. (Abefeso 4:18, 19; gereranya n’Indirimbo 1:2; 2:6; 8:5, 9, 10.) Kubera ko umutima w’umuntu ushukana, mwembi mugomba kwirinda kwihererana mu nzu, mu modoka ihagaze gusa cyangwa ahandi hantu hose hashobora kubagusha mu bwiyandarike (Yeremiya 17:9). Kudatandukira amahame mbwirizamuco mu gihe murambagizanya biba ari igihamya cy’uko mwembi mufite umuco wo kwirinda kandi ko buri wese ashyira imbere inyungu za mugenzi we kuzirutisha irari rye. Ikirenze byose, kurambagizanya mu buryo nk’ubwo buzira amakemwa bishimisha Yehova Imana, we usaba abagaragu be kwirinda ubwiyandarike n’ubusambanyi.—Abagalatiya 5:19-21.

21. Ni ibihe bintu abarambagizanya bagomba kubwizanyaho ukuri niba bashaka kurambagizanya mu buryo bwiyubashye?

²¹ Icya kabiri, irambagiza ryiyubashye riba rikubiyemo no kubwizanya ukuri. Uko mugenda mwegereza ishyingiranwa, hari ibintu bimwe na bimwe muba mukeneye kuganiraho mudaciye ku ruhande. Urugero, muzatura he? Ese mwembi muzashaka akazi? Mwaba muteganya kubyara? Ni na byiza guhishurirana ibyo mwagiye mukora kera bishobora kugira ingaruka ku muryango wanyu. Muri ibyo hakubiyemo nk’amadeni aremereye, inshingano cyangwa ibibazo by’uburwayi umuntu yaba afite, urugero nk’indwara ikomeye cyangwa akandi kabazo kihariye. Kubera ko abenshi mu bafite agakoko ka sida badahita bagaragaza ibimenyetso, ntibyaba bibi umwe muri mwe cyangwa ababyeyi banyu babakunda basabye uwigeze kunyura mu busambanyi cyangwa kwitera ibiyobyabwenge mu mitsi akoresheje inshinge ko yabanza kwipimisha sida. Niba hari uyirwaye, ntagomba guhatira uwo bifuzaga kuzabana gukomeza kugirana ubucuti niba we yifuza ko bwarangirira aho. Ndetse rwose, umuntu wese waba yarigeze kugira imibereho ishobora gutuma yandura sida, byaba byiza we ubwe abanje kuyipimisha na mbere yo kugira uwo barambagizanya.

KUREBA UKO BIZAGENDA NYUMA Y’UBUKWE

22, 23. (a) Ni gute umuntu ashobora gutandukira mu gihe ategura ubukwe? (b) Umuntu yashyira mu gaciro ate mu birebana n’uko abona umunsi w’ubukwe no kubana kw’abashakanye ubwabyo?

²² Igihe muzaba mushigaje amezi make ngo mushyingiranwe, nta gushidikanya ko mwembi muzaba muhugiye mu gutegura ubukwe. Mushobora kugabanya imihangayiko muramutse mushyize mu gaciro. Ubukwe buhambaye bushobora kunezeza bene wanyu hamwe n’abaturanyi, ariko bushobora gusigamo imvune abashakanye n’imiryango yabo kandi bukabasiga iheruheru. Imihango imwe n’imwe yo mu muco w’iwanyu kuyubahiriza nta cyo bitwaye, ariko kuyikurikiza buhumyi no gushaka kurushanwa bishobora gutuma mutamenya icyo uwo munsi ugamije kandi bishobora kubabuza ibyishimo ubundi mwagombye kugira. N’ubwo mugomba no kwita ku byo abandi batekereza, umusore ni we ahanini ugomba gupanga uko ibirori by’ubukwe bizagenda.—Yohana 2:9.

²³ Muzirikane ko ubukwe bumara umunsi umwe gusa, ariko ishyingiranwa ryo rimara igihe cyose cy’ubuzima bwanyu. Muzirinde kwibanda cyane ku muhango wo gushyingirwa ubwawo. Ahubwo muzashakire ubuyobozi kuri Yehova Imana, maze muteganyirize ubuzima bubategereje mumaze kubana. Ubwo ni bwo muzaba mwiteguye neza kuzagira ishyingiranwa ryiza.