Uko wakongera ubuhanga bwo kuganira

MBESE, muri rusange kuganira n’abandi birakorohera? Abantu benshi iyo batekereje ko bagiye kuganira n’umuntu, cyane cyane uwo bataziranye, bibatera ubwoba. Bene abo bantu bashobora kuba babiterwa n’uko bagira amasonisoni. Bashobora gutekereza bati ‘ni iki ndi buvuge? Ndahera he? Ndakomereza ku ki?’ Hari abantu bashobora gusa n’abiharira ijambo mu kiganiro, kubera ko baba biyizeye kandi bakunda gusabana. Ikibazo bashobora kugira ni ukureka ngo abandi na bo bagire icyo bavuga no kwitoza gutegera amatwi ibyo abandi bavuga. Bityo, twese hamwe, twaba tugira amasonisoni cyangwa dukunda gusabana, tugomba gukomeza kwihingamo ubuhanga bwo kuganira.

Tangirira imuhira

Niba ushaka kongera ubuhanga bwo kuganira, kuki utatangirira imuhira? Ibiganiro byubaka bishobora gutuma umuryango urushaho kugira ibyishimo.

Urufunguzo rw’ibanze rwo kugirana n’abandi ibiganiro byubaka, ni ukubitaho mu buryo bwimbitse (Guteg 6:6, 7; Imig 4:1-4). Iyo twitaye ku muntu, dushyikirana na we kandi tugatega amatwi igihe ashaka kugira icyo avuga. Ikindi kintu cy’ingenzi ni ukuba dufite ikintu cy’agaciro dushobora kuvuga. Niba dufite gahunda ya buri gihe yo gusoma no kwiga Bibiliya, tuzaba dufite byinshi twageza ku bandi. Gukoresha neza agatabo Dusuzume Ibyanditswe Buri Munsi bishobora kudushishikariza kuganira n’abandi. Dushobora kuba twabonye ikintu gishimishije mu murimo wo kubwiriza. Dushobora kuba twasomye ikintu cyakwigisha abandi cyangwa kikabasetsa. Twagombye kugira akamenyero ko kugeza bene ibyo bintu ku bagize umuryango wacu mu gihe cy’ibiganiro byubaka. Nanone, ibyo bizadufasha kuganira n’abandi batari abo mu muryango wacu.

Kuganira n’umuntu mutaziranye

Abantu benshi usanga batihutira kuganira n’umuntu bataziranye. Ariko kubera urukundo Abahamya ba Yehova bakunda Imana na bagenzi babo, bashyiraho imihati ivuye ku mutima kugira ngo bitoze kuganira n’abandi mu rwego rwo kubagezaho ukuri kwa Bibiliya. Ni iki cyagufasha kugira amajyambere muri ibyo?

Ihame rigaragara mu Bafilipi 2:4 rifite akamaro kenshi. Duterwa inkunga yo ‘kutizirikana ubwacu gusa, ahubwo tukazirikana n’abandi.’ Bitekerezeho muri ubu buryo: niba nta na rimwe wigeze uhura n’uwo muntu, na we aba akubona nk’umuntu atazi. Ni gute wamufasha kumva yisanzuye? Inseko isusurutse hamwe n’indamukanyo ya gicuti bizabigufashamo. Ariko kandi, hari ibindi byinshi ugomba gusuzuma.

Ushobora kuba wamuvurunze mu bitekerezo. Mbese, uramutse ugerageje kuganira na we ku bitekerezo byawe, utitaye ku bye, ubona ko byamushimisha? Ni iki Yesu yakoze igihe yahuriraga n’Umusamariyakazi ku iriba? Uwo mugore yatekerezaga kwivomera amazi gusa. Icyo ni cyo Yesu yahereyeho atangiza ikiganiro cye, hanyuma bidatinze agihinduramo ikiganiro gishishikaje gihereranye n’iby’umwuka.—Yoh 4:7-26.

Niba uzi kwitegereza, nawe ushobora gutahura icyo abantu baba batekerezaho. Mbese, uwo muntu yaba asa n’uwishimye, cyangwa yaba ababaye? Yaba se ageze mu za bukuru, wenda afite n’ubumuga? Waba se ubona igihamya cy’uko afite abana bato mu rugo? Mbese, uwo muntu yaba asa n’ukize, cyangwa yaba asa n’ubona ikimutunga bimugoye? Imitako yo mu nzu ye cyangwa ibintu by’umurimbo yambaye, byaba bigaragaza ko ari mu idini iri n’iri? Uramutse witaye kuri bene ibyo bintu mu gihe uramutsa uwo muntu, ashobora kubona ko hari icyo muhuriyeho.

Niba utavuganye na nyir’inzu imbona nkubone, wenda mukavugana uri inyuma y’urugi rufunze, ni uwuhe mwanzuro wafata? Uwo muntu ashobora kuba arangwa n’ubwoba mu mibereho ye. Mbese, ntiwakwifashisha icyo kintu uba umumenyeho, maze ugatangiza ikiganiro aho ku muryango?

Mu duce tumwe na tumwe, birashoboka ko wagirana n’umuntu ikiganiro binyuriye mu kuvuga ikintu runaka kikwerekeyeho, urugero nk’imibereho wakuriyemo, impamvu wamusuye, impamvu wizera Imana, icyatumye wiga Bibiliya n’ukuntu Bibiliya yagufashije (Ibyak 26:4-23). Birumvikana ariko ko ibyo bisaba amakenga kandi ko ugomba kubikora hari intego yumvikana ugamije. Ibyo bishobora gusunikira uwo muntu kugira icyo akubwira ku bimwerekeyeho ndetse n’uko abona ibintu.

Mu mico imwe n’imwe, kwakira abantu batazwi ni ibintu bisanzwe. Abantu bashobora guhita bagusaba kwinjira mu nzu no kwicara. Igihe umaze kwicara, iyo ubajije amakuru mu kinyabupfura, hanyuma ugatega amatwi nta buryarya igisubizo, nyir’inzu na we ashobora gutega amatwi ibyo ushaka kuvuga. Hari abandi bishimira abashyitsi cyane kurushaho, bityo mukaba mushobora kumara igihe kirekire muramukanya. Muri icyo gihe cyo kuramukanya, bashobora kubona ko hari ibintu muhuriyeho. Ibyo bishobora gutuma mugirana ikiganiro gikungahaye ku bintu by’umwuka.

Byagenda bite se niba mu karere utuyemo haba abantu benshi bavuga indimi utazi? Ni gute wagirana na bo ibiganiro? Uramutse umenye nibura amagambo y’indamukanyo yoroheje yo muri zimwe muri izo ndimi, abo bantu bashobora kubona ko ubitayeho. Ibyo bishobora gutuma mugirana ibiganiro birambuye kurushaho.

Uko wakomeza ikiganiro

Niba ushaka ko ikiganiro gikomeza, garagaza ko ushishikajwe n’ibitekerezo by’uwo muvugana. Mutere inkunga yo kugira icyo avuga igihe cyose abishakiye. Ibibazo bitoranyijwe neza bishobora kugufasha. Ibibazo bituma aguhishurira ibyo atekereza ni byo byiza kurusha ibindi, kubera ko bimusaba gusubiza ibirenze ibi byo kuvuga ngo yego cyangwa oya. Urugero, umaze nko kuvuga ikibazo gihangayikishije abantu bo mu karere atuyemo, ushobora kumubaza uti “utekereza ko icyo kibazo cyatewe n’iki?”, cyangwa uti “utekereza ko umuti wacyo ari uwuhe?”

Igihe ubajije ikibazo, tega amatwi igisubizo witonze. Garagaza ko bigushishikaje by’ukuri ugira ijambo uvuga cyangwa ukora ikimenyetso kigaragaza ko ubyemera. Ntukamuce mu ijambo. Zirikana ibyo avuga, nta rwikekwe. Jya ‘wihutira kumva, ariko utinde kuvuga’ (Yak 1:19). Igihe usubiza, garagaza ko mu by’ukuri wari uteze amatwi ibyo yavugaga.

Icyakora, zirikana ko atari buri muntu wese uzajya asubiza ku bibazo uzabaza. Kuri bamwe, igisubizo batanga ni ukukwicira akajisho cyangwa kumwenyura byonyine. Abandi bashobora kwivugira gusa ngo yego cyangwa oya. Ntugacike intege. Gira ukwihangana. Ntukamuhatire gukomeza ikiganiro. Niba uwo muntu yishimiye kugutega amatwi, boneraho umwanya wo kumugezaho ibitekerezo byubaka byo mu Byanditswe. Nyuma y’igihe runaka, uwo muntu ashobora kugufata nk’incuti. Hari igihe wenda yazishimira kukugezaho ibitekerezo bye nta cyo yishisha.

Igihe uvugana n’abandi, jya uzirikana uko uzagaruka. Niba umuntu akubajije ibibazo byinshi, subiza bimwe muri byo, ariko ugire ikibazo kimwe cyangwa bibiri usigariza ubutaha ubwo muzaba mwongeye kuganira. Musezeranye ko ugiye gukora ubushakashatsi, hanyuma ukazamugezaho ibyo wabonye. Niba nta bibazo yabajije, ushobora kurangiza ikiganiro cyanyu umubaza ikibazo ukeka ko cyamushishikaza. Musezeranye ko muzakiganiraho ubutaha ugarutse kumusura. Ushobora kubona ibitekerezo byinshi mu gitabo Comment raisonner à partir des Écritures, mu gatabo Ni Iki Imana Idusaba?, no mu magazeti mashya y’Umunara w’Umurinzi na Réveillez-vous!

Igihe uri kumwe na bagenzi bawe muhuje ukwizera

Iyo uhuye bwa mbere n’umwe mu Bahamya ba Yehova, mbese, waba ufata iya mbere kugira ngo mumenyane, cyangwa urinumira gusa? Urukundo dukunda abavandimwe bacu rwagombye kudusunikira kwifuza kubamenya (Yoh 13:35). Ni he watangirira? Ushobora nko kumubwira uko witwa, maze ukamubaza uko na we yitwa. Muri rusange kumubaza uko yamenye ukuri bizaba imbarutso y’ikiganiro gishimishije, kandi bizabafasha kumenyana. Yewe, n’iyo waba uvuga usa n’utegwa, imihati yawe imugaragariza ko umwitayeho, kandi ibyo ni byo by’ingenzi.

Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutuma ikiganiro ugirana n’umwe mu bagize itorero ryawe kigira ireme? Garagaza ko umwitayeho by’ukuri we n’umuryango we. Mbese, amateraniro yaba arangiye? Gira icyo uvuga ku bitekerezo wasanze ari ingirakamaro. Ibyo bishobora kubungura mwembi. Ushobora wenda nko kumubwira imwe mu ngingo zishishikaje wasomye mu igazeti nshya y’Umunara w’Umurinzi cyangwa iya Réveillez-vous! Ibyo ntibyagombye gukorwa mu rwego rwo kwibonekeza cyangwa kureba ubumenyi abandi bafite. Bikore mu rwego rwo kumugezaho ikintu cyagushimishije mu buryo bwihariye. Mushobora nko kuvuga ku kiganiro umwe muri mwe azatanga mu Ishuri ry’Umurimo wa Gitewokarasi, hanyuma mukungurana ibitekerezo ku bihereranye n’uko cyatangwa. Mushobora nanone kubwirana ibyo mwabonye mu murimo wo kubwiriza.

Nk’uko byumvikana, kuba twita ku bantu akenshi bituma tugera ubwo tuvuga ku bandi, ibyo bavuga n’ibyo bakora. Nanone, dushobora kuba dukunda gutera urwenya. Mbese, ibyo duteganya kuvuga byaba byubaka? Nidushyira ku mutima inama tugirwa mu Ijambo ry’Imana kandi tugasunikwa n’urukundo rurangwa no kubaha Imana, nta gushidikanya ko tuzavuga amagambo yubaka.—Imig 16:27, 28; Ef 4:25, 29; 5:3, 4; Yak 1:26.

Mbere yo kujya mu murimo wo kubwiriza, tubanza kwitegura. Kuki utategura inkuru ishishikaje wageza ku ncuti zawe igihe muganira? Igihe usomye cyangwa wumvise ikintu gishishikaje, jya uzirikana ingingo wumva wageza ku bandi. Nyuma y’igihe runaka, uzaba uzi inkuru nyinshi, ku buryo uzajya uhitamo izo wavuga. Kubigenza utyo bizakugeza kuri byinshi birenze kujya uvuga ku bigize imibereho ya buri munsi gusa. Ikirenze byose, jya ureka ibyo uvuga bijye bigaragaza ko uha agaciro kenshi Ijambo ry’Imana.—Zab 139:17.