Gushyikirana mu Buryo Bwiza​—Urufunguzo rwo Kugira Ishyingiranwa Ryiza

Mu mwaka wa 1778, uwitwa Robert Barron yahimbye ingufuri ifite amakare abiri, akaba ari yo igikomeza kuba urufatiro rw’ingufuri zo muri iki gihe zikoresha imfunguzo. Iyo ngufuri ye yasabaga gukoresha urufunguzo rwashoboraga gusunikira ayo makare yombi icyarimwe.

MU BURYO nk’ubwo, kugira ngo ishyingiranwa ribe ryiza, biterwa n’uko umugabo n’umugore bakorera hamwe bunze ubumwe. Kugira ngo bafungure, maze babone ibyishimo by’agaciro bizanwa n’ishyingiranwa ryiza, ikintu kimwe cya ngombwa ni ugushyikirana mu buryo bwiza.

Ibikubiye mu Gushyikirana mu Buryo Bwiza

Mbese, gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza hakubiyemo iki? Inkoranyamagambo imwe isobanura ko gushyikirana ari “ukugezanyaho cyangwa kungurana ibitekerezo, uko umuntu abona ibintu, cyangwa guhana amakuru binyuriye ku mvugo, ku nyandiko cyangwa se ibimenyetso.” Ku bw’ibyo rero, gushyikirana bikubiyemo gusangira ibyiyumvo n’ibitekerezo. Naho gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza, bisaba ibintu byubaka, bigarura ubuyanja, byo gukiranuka, bishimwa n’ibihumuriza.​—Abefeso 4:29-32; Abafilipi 4:8.

Gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza bigerwaho ari uko hari umuco wo kwizerana, kwiringirana no kumvikana. Iyo mico igerwaho iyo abo bantu bombi babona ko ishyingiranwa ari ikintu kizabahuza mu mibereho yabo yose, kandi mu by’ukuri bakaba baramaramaje gukora icyatuma rimera neza. Mu gihe umwanditsi wo mu kinyejana cya 18 witwaga Joseph Addison yatangaga ibisobanuro ku bihereranye n’uko abona iyo mishyikirano, yanditse agira ati “abantu babiri bashimanye mu bandi bantu bose, bafite intego yo kugira ngo umwe ajye abera undi isoko y’ihumure kandi amunezeze, muri ubwo buryo, ubwabo baba barishyize mu mirunga yo kuba abantu basusurutse, bagira urugwiro, bagira amakenga, bababarirana, bihanganirana kandi bagira ibyishimo, ku birebana n’intege nke n’imico myiza ya buri wese muri bo, kugeza ku iherezo ry’ubuzima bwabo.” Mbega ukuntu bene iryo shyingirwa riba rishimishije! Kandi bene iyo mico imeze nk’ibirezi ishobora gutaka ishyingiranwa ryanyu, kubera ko mushobora kuyigeraho binyuriye mu gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza.

Inzitizi Zituma Hatabaho Gushyikirana mu Buryo Bwiza

Abagabo n’abagore hafi ya bose bashyingiranwa bafite icyizere, ndetse bafite n’ibyishimo byinshi bisaze. Ariko kandi, kuri benshi nyuma y’igihe gito bya byishimo bisaze birayoyoka, na cya cyizere kigakendera. Ibyiyumvo by’umutekano umuntu aba afite, bishobora gusimburwa n’uruvangitirane rudashimishije rwo gushoberwa, uburakari, urwango, ndetse no kwanga mugenzi we mu buryo bukomeye. Icyo gihe ishyingiranwa rihinduka ikibazo cyo kwihanganira gusa “kugeza igihe urupfu ruzabatandukanyiriza.” Bityo rero, kugira ngo muteze imbere ibikenewe mu bihereranye no gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza kugira ngo ishyingiranwa ribe ryiza, cyangwa mutume bikomeza kubaho, hari inzitizi runaka zigomba kurengwa.

Inzitizi nyakuri ibangamira gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza, ishobora kuba iyo kugira impungenge ku bihereranye n’uko uwo mwashakanye ashobora kwakira inkuru runaka umubwiye cyangwa icyifuzo umugaragarije. Urugero, umuntu ashobora gutinya ko uwo bashakanye azamwanga nyuma y’aho amenyeye ko arimo agenda agira ubumuga runaka. Ni gute umuntu yasobanurira uwo bashakanye ko ibintu runaka byenda kubaho bizahindura mu buryo bukomeye isura ye cyangwa ubushobozi bwe bwo gukora akazi? Muri bene iyo mimerere, gushyikirana mu buryo burangwa no kubwizanya ukuri hamwe no gutekereza ku bihereranye n’ibyazakorwa mu gihe kizaza, biba bikenewe kurusha mbere hose. Kubwira umuntu amagambo amwizeza ko ugikomeza kumukunda, hamwe no kumukorera ibintu birangwa n’ubwuzu kenshi, bishobora kumugaragariza ko umwitayeho mu buryo bwa bwite, ku buryo byagira uruhare mu guteza imbere ishyingiranwa rishimishije by’ukuri. Mu ishyingiranwa ni ho uyu mugani wagombye kugira ibisobanuro byuzuye kurusha ahandi hose, umugani ugira uti “incuti zikundana ibihe byose; kandi umuvandimwe avukira gukūra abandi mu makuba.”​—Imigani 17:17.

Kubika inzika ni indi nzitizi ibangamira gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza. Byavuzwe mu buryo bukwiriye ko ishyingiranwa rishimishije ari irihuza abantu babiri bakunda kubabarira. Kugira ngo umugabo n’umugore bashakanye babe abantu bakunda kubabarira, bagomba gushyiraho imihati yose kugira ngo bakurikize inama y’ingirakamaro yatanzwe n’intumwa Pawulo igira iti “izuba ntirikarenge mukirakaye” (Abefeso 4:26). Nta gushidikanya, gushyira mu bikorwa iyo nama aho kuzabiranywa n’uburakari cyangwa kubika inzika, bisaba ko abantu bashyikirana mu buryo burangwa no kwicisha bugufi. Abantu bafite ishyingiranwa ryiza ntibahora barakaye, batongana kandi ngo babike inzika (Imigani 30:33). Bagerageza kwigana Imana, yo itajya ibika inzika (Yeremiya 3:12). Koko rero, bababarirana babikuye ku mutima.​—Matayo 18:35.

Inzitizi igaragara ibangamira imishyikirano iyo ari yo yose, ni ukujindira. Ibyo bishobora kuba bikubiyemo kuzinga umunya, kwitsa imitima, gukora ibintu nk’imashini bitavuye ku mutima no gukomanyiriza undi ku bihereranye no kumuvugisha. Umuntu witwara ku wo bashakanye muri ubwo buryo, aba arimo amugaragariza mu buryo runaka ko atamwishimiye. Ariko kandi, kugaragaza ibyiyumvo umuntu afite avuga mu buryo bweruye kandi bwiza, bigira uruhare rukomeye mu guteza imbere ishyingiranwa kurusha gukomeza kwicecekera no kuzinga umunya.

Kudatega amatwi neza cyangwa se kutayatega rwose mu gihe umwe mu bashakanye avuga, ni indi nzitizi igomba kurengwa kugira ngo habeho gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza mu mibanire y’abashakanye. Wenda hari igihe twaba tunaniwe cyane cyangwa se duhuze cyane ku buryo tudashobora gukusanya imbaraga zo mu bwenge no mu byiyumvo ziba zikenewe kugira ngo dutege amatwi ibyo undi avuga tubigiranye ubwitonzi. Hashobora kuvuka intonganya ku bihereranye na gahunda abantu batumvikanaho neza, umwe mu bashakanye akaba yatekereza ko zasobanuwe mu buryo bwumvikana neza, ariko undi we akaba avuga akomeje ko ari ubwa mbere yumvise ibyo bintu. Uko bigaragara, kudashyikirana bihagije ni byo bituma habaho izo ngorane.

Uburyo bwo Guteza Imbere Ibyo Gushyikirana mu Buryo Bwiza

Mbega ukuntu ari iby’ingenzi gufata igihe cyo gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza kandi bwuje urukundo! Hari abantu bamwe na bamwe bamara igihe kirekire imbere ya televiziyo bareba imibereho y’abandi bantu, ku buryo bo usanga bafite igihe gito cyo kwita ku mibereho yabo bwite. Ku bw’ibyo rero, kuzimya televiziyo akenshi ni intambwe ya ngombwa igana ku gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza.

Ariko kandi, nk’uko hari igihe gikwiriye cyo kuvuga, hari n’igihe cyo guceceka. Umunyabwenge yagize ati “ikintu cyose kigenerwa igihe cyacyo . . . igihe cyo guceceka n’igihe cyo kuvuga.” Koko rero, hari n’amagambo yo akwiriye kuvugwa. Umugani umwe ugira uti “ijambo rivuzwe mu gihe gitunganye ko ari ryo ryiza!” (Umubwiriza 3:1, 7; Imigani 15:23). Bityo rero, jya ureba igihe cyiza kurusha ikindi cyose kugira ngo ugaragaze igitekerezo cyawe, cyangwa ngo uvuge ibihangayikishije umutima wawe. Ibaze uti mbese, ‘uwo twashakanye arananiwe cyangwa aratuje kandi yagaruye ubuyanja? Mbese, ingingo nifuza ko tuganiraho ishobora kubyutsa intonganya? Ni iki uwo twashakanye yarwanyije mu bihereranye n’ukuntu natoranyije amagambo ubwo duheruka kuganira kuri iki kibazo?’

Ni byiza kwibuka ko abantu barushaho kwitabira ibintu mu buryo bwiza, iyo babona ukuntu gufatanya cyangwa gukora ibyo basabwa bishobora kuzabazanira inyungu. Niba hagati y’abashakanye haradutse umwuka wo kutumvikana neza, umwe muri bo ashobora kumva ashaka kuvuga ati “hari ikintu kimaze iminsi kimbuza amahwemo, none tugiye kugikemura nonaha!” Birumvikana ko kuvuga amagambo akwiriye bishobora guterwa n’imimerere iriho, ariko bishobora kurushaho kuba byiza umuntu avuze ati “di, maze iminsi ntekereza kuri cya kibazo twaganiriyeho, ntekereza n’ukuntu twagikemura.” Ni ubuhe buryo uwo mwashakanye yakwishimira kurushaho?

Ni koko, uburyo ibintu bivuzwemo ni ubw’ingenzi cyane. Intumwa Pawulo yanditse igira iti “ijambo ryanyu rifatanye iteka n’ubuntu bw’Imana, risīze umunyu” (Abakolosayi 4:6). Mu ijwi ryanyu n’ukuntu mutoranya amagambo, mwihatire kuba abantu barangwa n’umutima mwiza. Muzirikane ko ‘amagambo anezeza ari nk’ubuki; aryohera ubugingo bw’umuntu, agakomeza ingingo ze.’​—Imigani 16:24.

Ku bagabo n’abagore bamwe na bamwe bashakanye, kugira ibintu bakorera hamwe mu rugo bishobora gutuma haboneka umwuka mwiza wo gushyikirana. Bene uko gukorera ibintu hamwe bishobora guteza imbere umwuka w’ubufatanye, ari na ko bibaha igihe cyo kuganira mu buryo bwiza. Ku bandi bantu bashakanye, igihe gituje bari kumwe bonyine, nta kintu barimo bagerageza gukora, ni cyo cyiza kurusha ikindi gihe cyose, kandi icyo gihe gishobora gutuma habaho gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza kurushaho.

Akenshi, hari ibintu byinshi umuntu ashobora kumenya binyuriye mu kwitegereza ukuntu abantu bashakanye bahuje bashyikirana. Ni iki cyatumye bamera batyo? Birashoboka cyane ko kuba bahuje kandi bashyikirana mu buryo bworoshye, byaba byaraturutse ku mihati ya buri wese, kwihangana no kwitanaho mu buryo bwuje urukundo. Uko bigaragara, na bo ubwabo hari byinshi bagombye kwitoza bitewe n’uko ishyingiranwa ryiza ridapfa kubaho gutya gusa mu buryo bw’impanuka. Ku bw’ibyo rero, ni iby’ingenzi cyane kuzirikana igitekerezo cya mugenzi wawe, ukamenya ibyo akeneye kandi ugakemura ibibazo bishobora guteza imihangayiko binyuriye mu kuvuga ijambo rirangwa n’ubwenge (Imigani 16:23). Niba warashatse, ihatire kuba umuntu abandi bishimira kubana na we, kandi kugusaba imbabazi bikaborohera. Ibyo bizagira uruhare rukomeye mu gutuma ishyingiranwa ryawe riba ryiza.

Yehova Imana yifuza ko abantu bagira ishyingiranwa rishimishije kandi riramba (Itangiriro 2:18, 21). Ariko urufunguzo ruri mu maboko y’abahurijwe mu murunga w’ishyingiranwa. Bisaba abantu babiri bakundana kandi mu by’ukuri bakorera hamwe kugira ngo bakingure umuryango ugana ku ishyingiranwa ryiza, binyuriye ku gukoresha neza ubuhanga bwo gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 22]

Kuzimya televiziyo bituma haboneka igihe kirekire kurushaho cyo gushyikirana

[Amafoto yo ku ipaji ya 23]

Gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza, bituma imitima ihurizwa mu murunga w’urukundo rurambye