Kuki tugomba kunesha ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye?
Mbese, buri gihe uhora wihata cyane kugira ngo ukore ibintu byiza cyane kurusha ibindi? Uko bigaragara, kubigenza utyo bishobora gutuma wowe n’abagukikije mubona inyungu mu buryo bwinshi. Ku rundi ruhande, hari bamwe bagiye bakabya mu bintu maze bakokamwa n’ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye. Ibyo se bikubiyemo iki?
UBUNDI, uburyo bumwe dusobanukirwamo amagambo ngo “ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye,” ni “imyifatire iba yiganje mu muntu yo kubona ko ikintu cyose kidatunganye kidashobora kwemerwa.” Birashoboka ko waba warigeze guhura n’abantu bafite bene iyo myifatire. Ushobora kubona ko ukuntu bakabya mu byo basaba abandi bishobora guteza ibibazo byinshi, bigatuma havuka umwuka wo kutanyurwa no gucika intege. Abantu bashyira mu gaciro hafi ya bose bakwemera ko ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye mu buryo bwo gusaba ibintu bikabije kandi bidashyize mu gaciro mu bice byose bigize imibereho, ari ikintu mu by’ukuri umuntu atakwifuza. Ni ikintu tugomba kunesha. Ariko kandi aho ikibazo kiri, ni uko mu gihe ari ibintu birebana n’imyifatire cyangwa imimerere yacu bwite yo mu bwenge, gutahura ko turimo tugenda tubogamira kuri iyo ngeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye bishobora kugorana, bityo no kuyinesha bikaba ikibazo cy’ingorabahizi.
Uwitwa Nelson afite inshingano ikomeye hamwe n’ibibazo byinshi agomba gukemura. Buri gihe asuzuma aho imibare igeze, kandi kongera umusaruro ni cyo kintu yimiriza imbere. Akenshi usanga abantu babona ko gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye ari ikintu cya ngombwa kugira ngo umuntu agire icyo ageraho aho abantu bagomba kurushanwa kugira ngo babone akazi keza. N’ubwo hari bamwe bashobora kwishimira ukuntu Nelson akora ibintu mu buryo bwiza cyane, ingeso ye yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye imutera ibibazo byo mu buryo bw’umubiri, urugero nko kurwara umutwe no guhungabana mu byiyumvo. Mbese, waba umeze nka Nelson?
Abakiri bato na bo bagerwaho n’ingaruka z’ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye. Igihe Rita ukomoka mu mujyi witwa Rio de Janeiro yari akiri umwana, yakundaga kujya ku ishuri. Yageragezaga kugaragara nk’aho atari umuntu wifuza kuba ikirangirire, ariko kandi, iyo yabaga atabaye uwa mbere yumvaga ashegeshwe. Rita yagize ati “uhereye mu buto bwanjye najyaga nigereranya n’abandi bari bafite igihe gihagije, mu gihe jye buri gihe nabaga mpangayitse kandi mpubukira gukora ibintu. Nta na rimwe numvaga mfite igihe cyo kuruhuka kubera ko buri gihe nabaga mfite ibintu ngomba gukora.”
Igihe Maria yari akiri umukobwa muto yaramanjirwaga akarira cyane mu gihe yabaga atashoboye gushushanya neza nk’abandi. Byongeye kandi, mu gihe yashakaga kuba umunyabugeni w’igihangange mu by’umuzika, akenshi wasangaga yataye umutwe kandi ahangayitse aho kugira ngo yishimire gucuranga no kuririmba. Undi mukobwa wo muri Brezili witwa Tânia, wagerageje kuba umunyabwenge maze akirinda umwuka wo kurushanwa, yiyemereye ko yari acyishyiriraho intego zihanitse cyane ku buryo atashoboraga kuzigeraho, haba ku ishuri n’imuhira. Yumvaga ko abantu batari kumukunda cyane, keretse gusa umurimo we ubaye utunganye. Byongeye kandi, rimwe na rimwe Tânia yabaga yiteze byinshi ku bandi, bikaba byaratumaga amanjirwa kandi akababara.
N’ubwo ubushobozi, umwete no kumva ushaka kunyurwa mu buryo bwa bwite ari ibintu by’ingenzi, ibyiyumvo bibi, urugero nko gutinya gutsindwa, bishobora guterwa no kwishyiriraho intego umuntu adashobora kugeraho. Ababyeyi cyangwa abandi bantu bashobora gushyiraho amahame agenga ibintu bibonwa ko bitunganye mu ishuri cyangwa mu mikino, amahame abakiri bato babona ko kuyageraho bigoye. Urugero, nyina wa Ricardo yari afite ibintu byinshi amwitezeho, akaba yarifuzaga ko yazaba umuganga, agacuranga piyano kandi akavuga indimi nyinshi. Mbese, ushobora kubona ko ubwo buryo bwo kwitwara mu bintu, iyo ubikoze mu buryo burengeje urugero, butuma havuka ibibazo cyangwa gushoberwa?
Kuki tugomba kwirinda ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye?
Usanga abantu basabwa gukora umurimo wo mu rwego rwo hejuru, bagakora ibihuje n’amahame yo mu rwego rwo hejuru agenga ibintu biri byo neza neza kandi bisumba ibindi byose. Bityo, abantu bagomba kurushanwa kugira ngo babone akazi. Ikindi kintu gituma abantu benshi bashyiraho imihati ikomeye cyane bagahatana, ni uko batinya gutakaza uburyo bwo kubona ikibatunga. Abakozi bamwe na bamwe bamera nk’umukinnyi w’imikino ngororangingo wigomwa mu buryo burengeje urugero kugira ngo azace agahigo. Hanyuma, mu gihe ahuye n’abandi bamurusha, ashobora kumva ahatiwe kongera kwitoza cyane kurushaho, wenda agakoresha n’imiti yiringiye ko izatuma agira icyo yiyungura kandi agatsinda. Aho kugira ngo ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye itume abantu bashaka kugera ku bintu bihebuje mu buryo bwiza, ituma “ibyo bakora baba basunitswe no gutinya ko batsindwa,” cyangwa “bagahatanira kuba ab’imbere.”—Byavuye mu gitabo cyitwa The Feeling Good Handbook.
Ni iby’ukuri ko hari bamwe batekereza ko ibyo bashobora gukora mu birebana n’ubugeni cyangwa mu mikino buri gihe biba bishobora kugira icyo bikorwaho kugira ngo birusheho kuba byiza. Ariko kandi, dukurikije uko Dr. Robert S. Eliot yabivuze, “gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye ni ukwitega ibintu bitazigera na rimwe bibaho.” Yongeyeho ati “bikubiyemo kugira umutima wicira urubanza, kugerageza kwihagararaho no gutinya kugirwa urw’amenyo.” Ku bw’ibyo, mbega ukuntu amagambo y’Umwami w’umunyabwenge Salomo ari ukuri; amagambo agira ati “mbona imirimo yose n’iby’ubukorikori byose, yuko ari byo bituma umuntu agirira ishyari mugenzi we. Ibyo na byo ni ubusa ni nko kwiruka inyuma y’umuyaga.”—Umubwiriza 4:4.
Wakora iki mu gihe waba ubogamira ku ngeso yo kuba umuntu ushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye? Mbese, kuvuga ko uko urushaho guhatana ari na ko urushaho kumanjirwa byaba ari ukuri? Mbese, wakwifuza kuba umuntu udakabya mu byo usaba abandi kandi utuje kurushaho? Gutungana bisobanura iki? Mbese, ntiwifuza gukoresha ubushobozi bwawe mu buryo bwuzuye uko bishoboka kose ari na ko wirinda ingeso yo gushaka ko ibintu byose biba bitunganye? Niba abantu badatunganye bashobora gukoresha ubushobozi bahawe n’Imana kugira ngo bavumbure ibintu byungura abandi, tekereza ibyo abantu bageraho baramutse bari mu mimerere itunganye kandi bayobowe n’Imana!
[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 4]
Ababyeyi cyangwa abandi bantu bashobora gusaba ko ibintu bikorwa mu buryo butunganye, abakiri bato bakaba badashobora kubigeraho