Uko wafasha incuti yawe irwaye

ESE wigeze wumva ubuze icyo wavuga, igihe waganiraga n’incuti yawe irwaye bikomeye? Niba byarakubayeho, izere ko ushobora kunesha iyo nzitizi. Wayinesha ute? Nta mategeko atagoragozwa ariho, kubera ko imico y’abantu itandukanye. Nanone kandi, abantu baratandukanye cyane. Ku bw’ibyo, ikintu cyafasha umurwayi umwe kumva amerewe neza, gishobora kuba atari cyo cyafasha undi. Ikindi kandi, imimerere umurwayi arimo hamwe n’uko yaramutse, bishobora kugenda bihinduka, uko bwije n’uko bukeye.

Ubwo rero, icy’ingenzi ni uko ugerageza kwishyira mu mwanya we, kandi ukamenya icyo akeneye, ndetse n’icyo ashaka ko umufasha. Wabigenza ute? Reka dusuzume amahame ashingiye kuri Bibiliya, ashobora kugufasha kubigeraho.

Jya umenya gutega amatwi

AMAHAME YA BIBILIYA:

“Umuntu wese agomba kujya yihutira kumva ariko agatinda kuvuga.”​—YAKOBO 1:19.

Hari “igihe cyo guceceka n’igihe cyo kuvuga.”​—UMUBWIRIZA 3:1, 7.

▪ Igihe wasuye incuti yawe irwaye ujye uyitega amatwi witonze, kandi uyigaragarize impuhwe. Ntukihutire kuyiha inama, cyangwa ngo wumve ko buri gihe ugomba kuyikemurira ikibazo. Hari igihe ushobora guhubuka ukayibwira amagambo ashobora kuyikomeretsa. Incuti yawe irwaye, si ko buri gihe iba ikeneye ibisubizo by’ibibazo ifite, ahubwo iba ikeneye umuntu uyitega amatwi abikuye ku mutima.

Jya ureka umurwayi avuge ibimuri ku mutima nta cyo yishisha. Ntukamuce mu ijambo, cyangwa ngo upfobye indwara ye. Uwitwa Emílioa yaravuze ati “narwaye mugiga maze intera ubuhumyi. Hari igihe mba numva nacitse intege, maze incuti zanjye zikagerageza kumumpuriza zimbwira ziti ‘erega si wowe wenyine ubabaye, ujye uzirikana ko hari n’abandi bantu bababaye kukurusha.’ Nyamara ntibazi ko gupfobya uburwayi bwanjye nta cyo bimarira. Aho kugira ngo bimfashe, birambabaza kandi bikantera agahinda.”

Jya ureka incuti yawe ikubwire ibiyiri ku mutima idatinya ko uri buyinenge. Niba ikubwiye ko ifite ubwoba, ujye ubyemera aho kugira ngo uhite uyibwira ko itagomba kugira ubwoba. Uwitwa Eliana urwaye kanseri yaravuze ati “iyo nibutse ko ndwaye kanseri maze ngaturika nkarira, ntibiba bishatse kuvuga ko ntacyizera Imana.” Jya ugerageza kubona incuti yawe nk’uko iri, aho kuyibona nk’uko ubyifuza. Jya uzirikana ko ubu ishobora kubabazwa n’akantu ako ari ko kose, kandi ko atari ko yari isanzwe. Jya wihangana, kandi uyitege amatwi nubwo yaba igusubiriramo ibintu ihora ikubwira (1 Abami 19:9, 10, 13, 14). Hari igihe iba yumva ikeneye kukubwira uko imerewe.

Jya wishyira mu mwanya we kandi umwiteho

AMAHAME YA BIBILIYA:

“Mwishimane n’abishima, murirane n’abarira.”​—ABAROMA 12:15.

“Ibintu byose mushaka ko abantu babagirira, ni byo namwe mugomba kubagirira.”​—MATAYO 7:12.

▪ Jya wishyira mu mwanya w’incuti yawe. Niba yitegura kujya kubagwa, kuvurwa cyangwa se itegereje ibisubizo by’ibizamini, ishobora kuba ihangayitse bityo ikaba yarakazwa n’ubusa. Mu gihe imeze ityo, ujye ugerageza kubitahura, maze umenye uko uyitwaraho. Icyo si cyo gihe cyo kuyibaza ibibazo byinshi, cyane cyane ibyerekeye ubuzima bwayo bwa bwite.

Umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze n’imyitwarire y’abantu witwa Ana Katalifós, yaravuze ati “mujye mureka abarwayi bavuge uko bamerewe, igihe babishaka kandi bavuge ibyo bashaka. Mu gihe bashaka kuganira, mujye muganira ku ngingo iyo ari yose bihitiyemo. Ariko niba bumva badashaka kuvuga, kwicara gusa maze ukabafata akaboko bishobora kubafasha cyane. Nanone kandi, ushobora kubona ko icyo bakeneye gusa, ari umuntu ubaba hafi, akabafasha kurira.”

Niba hari ibintu incuti yawe ikubwiye kandi idashaka ko abandi babimenya, ntukabivuge. Umwanditsi witwa Rosanne Kalick warwaye kanseri incuro ebyiri maze agakira, yaranditse ati “mu gihe umurwayi akubwiye iby’uburwayi bwe, ujye wumva ko ibyo akubwiye ari ibanga. Ntukagire undi ubibwira, keretse gusa umuryango we uguhaye uburenganzira bwo kugira icyo utangaza. Ujye ubaza umurwayi icyo yifuza ko abandi bamenya ku burwayi bwe.” Edson warwaye kanseri maze agakira, yaravuze ati “incuti yanjye yakwirakwije inkuru y’uko nari ndwaye kanseri, kandi ko nari nsigaje igihe gito nkapfa. Yego icyo gihe nari nyirwaye, ariko nari ngitegereje ibisubizo by’ibizamini kwa muganga bari bafashe, kugira ngo barebe niba itarakwirakwiriye. Nubwo basanze kanseri itarakwiriye umubiri wose, icyo gihuha cyari cyarakwiriye hose. Umugore wanjye yababajwe cyane n’amagambo abantu bavugaga, ndetse n’ibyo bamubazaga.”

Niba incuti yawe igiye guhitamo uburyo bwo kwivuza, ntukihutire kuvuga ubwo wari guhitamo iyo aza kuba ari wowe. Umwanditsi witwa Lori Hope warwaye kanseri maze akayikira, yaravuze ati “mbere yo kugira umurwayi wa kanseri cyangwa undi muntu wayikize woherereza ingingo cyangwa amakuru arebana n’iyo ndwara, byaba byiza ubanje kumubaza niba abikeneye. Naho ubundi kubikora utamubajije bishobora kumukomeretsa, kandi ntuzigere ubimenya.” Nta muntu n’umwe uba wifuza ko bamurundaho amakuru avuga ibirebana n’uburyo butandukanye bwo kwivuza.

Nubwo waba uri incuti ye magara, ntukamusure ngo uhatinde. Kuba wamusuye bishobora kumufasha, ariko hari igihe ashobora kuba adashaka ko muganira. Wenda ashobora kuba ananiwe, bityo akaba nta mbaraga afite zo kuvuga, cyangwa izo kumara igihe ateze amatwi. Ku rundi ruhande, jya wirinda kugaragariza incuti yawe ko wihuta cyane, kubera ko iba ikeneye ko uyitaho.

Kwita ku muntu bikubiyemo gushyira mu gaciro. Urugero, mbere yo kumutegurira amafunguro, byaba byiza ubanje kumenya ibyo yifuza kurya. Niba hari indwara urwaye, urugero nk’ibicurane, byaba byiza urindiriye ukabanza gukira, mbere yo kujya gusura iyo ncuti yawe irwaye.

Jya urangwa n’icyizere

AMAHAME YA BIBILIYA:

“Ururimi rw’umunyabwenge rurakiza.”​—IMIGANI 12:18.

“Ijambo ryanyu rifatanye iteka n’ubuntu bw’Imana risize umunyu.”​—ABAKOLOSAYI 4:6.

▪ Niba ubona incuti yawe mu buryo burangwa n’icyizere, bizagaragazwa n’amagambo yawe ndetse n’ibyo ukora. Jya uzirikana ko incuti yawe ikiri ya yindi, kandi ko igifite ya mico yatumye uyikunda mukimenyana. Jya wibanda ku mishyikirano mufitanye, aho kwibanda ku burwayi bwe. Niba uganiriza incuti yawe nk’uganiriza umuntu wo kugirirwa impuhwe, ishobora kugeraho ikumva ko ari uko imeze koko. Uwitwa Roberta wavukanye indwara yo mu magufwa, yaravuze ati “mujye mumfata nk’umuntu muzima. Nubwo namugaye, ndatekereza kandi ngira ibyo nifuza. Ntimukumve ko ndi uwo kugirirwa impuhwe, cyangwa ngo mumfate nk’aho ntagira ubwenge.”

Jya uzirikana ko ibyo uvuga atari byo bifite agaciro gusa, ahubwo ko n’uburyo ubivugamo ari ubw’ingenzi. Yewe n’ijwi ubivugamo na ryo ribigiramo uruhare rukomeye. Nyuma gato y’aho basuzumye Ernesto bagasanga arwaye kanseri, hari incuti ye yabaga mu mahanga yamuhamagaye, maze iramubwira iti “sinshobora kwemera ko urwaye kanseri.” Ernesto yaravuze ati “ijwi iyo ncuti yanjye yavuganye amagambo ngo ‘urwaye kanseri,’ ryatumye numva ncitse intege.”

Umwanditsi witwa Lori Hope yatanze urundi rugero, agira ati “kubaza umurwayi uti ‘umerewe ute?,’ bishobora kumvikanisha byinshi: bishobora kumuhumuriza, bikamwongerera ububabare cyangwa bigatuma atangira kugira ubwoba, bitewe n’ijwi wakoresheje, ibimenyetso by’umubiri, uko mubanye, ubucuti mufitanye n’igihe ubimubarije.”

Incuti yawe irwaye iba ikeneye kumva ko uyitayeho, ko uyumva kandi ko uyubaha. Ubwo rero jya umwizeza ko ukimukeneye, kandi ko uzakomeza kumufasha. Umugore witwa Rosemary urwaye ikibyimba mu bwonko, yaravuze ati “kuba incuti zanjye zarambwiraga ko zinkunda, kandi ko zizampora hafi uko byagenda kose, byaramumpurizaga cyane.”​—Imigani 15:23; 25:11.

Jya umufasha

AMAHAME YA BIBILIYA:

“Nimucyo dukundane, atari mu magambo cyangwa ku rurimi gusa, ahubwo dukundane mu bikorwa no mu kuri.”​—1 YOHANA 3:18.

▪ Ibyo incuti yawe ikenera, bizagenda bihinduka kuva igihe imenyeye indwara yayo kugeza igihe bayivuriye igakira. Muri icyo gihe cyose, iba ikeneye umuntu uyiba hafi. Aho kugira ngo uvuge muri rusange uti “nugira icyo ushaka umbwire,” jya ugerageza kugaragaza neza icyo ushobora kuyikorera. Kuyifasha mu bikorwa bya buri munsi, urugero nko gutegura amafunguro, gukora isuku, kumesa, gutera ipasi, gutumwa, guhaha cyangwa kuyijyana kwa muganga no kuyivanayo, ni bimwe mu bintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo ugaragaze ko uyitayeho. Jya uba umuntu wiringirwa, kandi ujye wubahiriza igihe. Jya wubahiriza ibintu byose umusezeranya.—Matayo 5:37.

Umwanditsi witwa Rosanne Kalick, yaravuze ati “twagombye kuzirikana ko ikintu cyose twakora nubwo cyaba gito, ariko cyatuma umurwayi adakomeza guhangayikishwa n’uburwayi bwe kandi ntiyihebe, gishobora kumufasha.” Sílvia warwaye kanseri incuro ebyiri agakira, na we yemera ko ibyo byamufashije, agira ati “kuba incuti zanjye zitandukanye zaranjyanaga kwivuriza mu wundi mugi buri munsi, byaranshimishaga kandi bikamumpuriza cyane. Twagendaga tuganira ku bintu bitandukanye, hanyuma twavayo tugasohokera ahantu kunywa icyayi. Ibyo byatumaga numva nongeye kuba muzima.”

Icyakora, ntukajye wumva ko uzi neza icyo incuti yawe ikeneye. Kalick yatanze inama igira iti “jya umubaza icyo wamufasha.” Yunzemo ati “niba wifuza kugira icyo umufasha, ntukabikore utabanje kumubaza. Ibyo bishobora kutagira icyo bimarira umurwayi, ahubwo bikamubabaza cyane. Numubuza kugira icyo akora, bizatuma yumva ko nta cyo ashoboye gukora. Umurwayi aba akeneye kumva ko hari icyo ashoboye, kandi ko hari icyo amaze. Ku bw’ibyo, ujye umureka akore icyo ashobora kwikorera.”

Hari igihe incuti yawe irwaye iba ikeneye kumva ko hari icyo ishoboye. Adilson urwaye sida, yaravuze ati “iyo urwaye ntuba ushaka ko bagutererana nk’aho nta cyo umaze, cyangwa nta cyo ushoboye. Uba ukeneye kugira icyo ufasha abandi, ndetse n’iyo cyaba ari ikintu cyoroheje. Ni byiza ko wumva ko hari icyo ugishoboye gukora, kuko bituma ukomeza kwishimira ubuzima. Nkunda abantu bandeka nkifatira imyanzuro, kandi bakayubaha. Kuba urwaye ntibivuga ko uba utagishoboye gusohoza inshingano zawe, urugero nko kuba uri umubyeyi, cyangwa ikindi waba uri cyo cyose.”

Komeza kumuba hafi

AMAHAME YA BIBILIYA:

“Incuti zikundana ibihe byose, kandi umuvandimwe avukira gukura abandi mu makuba.”​—IMIGANI 17:17.

▪ Niba udashoboye gusura incuti yawe kubera ko wenda ituye kure, ushobora kuyiterefona, ukayandikira cyangwa ukayoherereza ubutumwa kuri interineti. Ariko se ni iki wayandikira? Alan D. Wolfelt akaba atanga inama mu birebana no guhumuriza abantu bihebye, yaravuze ati “ujye umwandikira ku birebana n’ibihe byiza mwamaranye, umusezeranye ko uzongera . . . kumwandikira vuba, kandi wubahirize iryo sezerano.”

Icyakora ugomba kumenya ko utagombye gutinya kumuhumuriza, utinya ko waza kuvuga ikintu kibi, cyangwa ukagira ikosa ukora. Akenshi aba akeneye ko umuba hafi. Lori Hope yanditse mu gitabo cye, agira ati “twese tujya tuvuga cyangwa tugakora ibintu ku buryo abandi babifata nabi, cyangwa se bikaba byabakomeretsa kandi tutabigambiriye. Icyakora icyo nticyagombye kuba ikibazo. Ahubwo ikibazo kivuka iyo ukabije gutinya gukomeretsa incuti yawe irwaye, ukagera n’ubwo uyitarura kandi igukeneye.”

Birashoboka ko igihe incuti yawe irwaye cyane, ari bwo iba igukeneye kurusha ikindi gihe cyose. Yigaragarize ko uri “incuti” nyancuti. Nubwo imihati ushyiraho ishobora kutayimara ububabare ifite, ishobora gutuma yihanganira imimerere igoranye irimo.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]