Uko wahangana n’ingorane wahura na zo mu mwaka wa mbere w’ishyingiranwa

ESE niba mumaze igihe gito mushakanye, namwe mwaba mwarahuye n’izo ngorane? Ese ubona ko uwo mwashakanye yadukanye amakosa n’utugeso utigeze ubona igihe mwarambagizanyaga? Mwakora iki kugira ngo mugabanye “ingorane z’urudaca” abashakanye bahura na zo?—1 Abakorinto 7:28, Bibiliya Ntagatifu.

Mbere na mbere, ntukitege ko kuba mwarasezeranye ubwabyo, bituma wowe n’uwo mwashakanye muhita muba inararibonye mu by’ishyingiranwa. Mushobora kuba mwari muzi gushyikirana n’abandi igihe mwari mukiri ingaragu, kandi mushobora kuba mwararushijeho mu gihe mwarambagizanyaga. Icyakora iyo mumaze kurushinga, hari igihe gushyikirana bibagora, kandi bikaba byaba ngombwa ko mwitoza indi mico. Nubwo hari igihe uzajya ukora amakosa, ushobora kugira imico yagufasha kuyirinda.

Ubusanzwe, uburyo bwiza bwo kumenya ikintu runaka, ni uko wakwegera umuntu w’inararibonye akabigufashamo, kandi ugakurikiza inama aguhaye. Yehova ni we nararibonye iruta izindi zose mu birebana n’ishyingiranwa. N’ubundi kandi, ni we waturemanye icyifuzo cyo kurushinga (Itangiriro 2:22-24). Reka dusuzume uko Ijambo rye Bibiliya rishobora kugufasha guhangana n’ingorane, kandi ukagira ubuhanga ukeneye kugira ngo ugire urugo ruhire, rutazamara umwaka umwe gusa.

UMUCO WA 1. MUJYE MWITOZA KUGANIRA

Aho ikibazo kiri:

Hari igihe umugabo witwa Keijia uba mu Buyapani, yajyaga yibagirwa ko imyanzuro yafataga yabaga ireba n’umugore we. Yaravuze ati “hari igihe nemeraga ubutumire ntabanje kubaza umugore wanjye, maze nyuma yaho nkaza kubona ko kubahiriza izo gahunda byamugoraga.” Umugabo witwa Allen wo muri Ositaraliya, yaravuze ati “numvaga nta muntu w’umugabo wagombye kugisha inama umugore we.” Yabibonaga atyo kubera umuryango yakuriyemo. Uko ni na ko byagendekeye Dianne uba mu Bwongereza. Yaravuze ati “nari menyereye kugisha inama abagize umuryango wanjye. Kubera iyo mpamvu, nabanje kujya mbagisha inama, aho kuyigisha umugabo wanjye.”

Icyo wakora:

Ujye wibuka ko Yehova abona ko umugabo n’umugore bashakanye, ari “umubiri umwe” (Matayo 19:3-6). Abona ko nta bundi bucuti buruta ubwo umugabo n’umugore bagirana. Kugira ngo ubwo bucuti bukomere, ni iby’ingenzi cyane ko bamenya gushyikirana.

Umugabo n’umugore bashobora kumenya byinshi baramutse basuzumye ukuntu Yehova yashyikiranye na Aburahamu. Urugero, reka dusuzume ikiganiro kiboneka mu Itangiriro 18:17-33. Iyo nkuru igaragaza ko Imana yubashye Aburahamu mu buryo butatu. (1) Yehova yamusobanuriye icyo yari agiye gukora. (2) Yehova yamuteze amatwi igihe yagaragazaga icyo yatekerezaga. (3) Aho byashobokaga, yagize icyo ahindura ku byo yateganyaga gukora, kugira ngo abihuze n’ibyo Aburahamu yashakaga. Wamwigana ute mu gihe uganira n’uwo mwashakanye?

UMUCO WA 2. JYA UGIRA AMAKENGA

Aho ikibazo kiri:

Hari igihe ushobora kuba ufite akamenyero ko gutanga ibitekerezo usa n’utegeka cyangwa ukoresha amagambo wiboneye, bitewe n’umuryango wavukiyemo cyangwa umuco w’aho wakuriye. Urugero, Liam uba mu Burayi yaravuze ati “abantu bo mu gace k’iwacu, bakunda kuvuga amagambo nta cyo bitayeho. Kuba naravuganaga ihanjagari, akenshi byarakazaga umugore wanjye. Ubwo rero, nagombaga kwitoza kuvuga neza.”

Icyo wakora:

Ntukumve ko uwo mwashakanye ashimishwa n’uko umuvugisha ukoresheje imvugo wamenyereye (Abafilipi 2:3, 4). Inama intumwa Pawulo yahaye umumisiyonari, ishobora no gufasha abantu bamaze igihe gito bashakanye. Yaranditse ati “umugaragu w’Umwami ntagomba kurwana, ahubwo agomba kuba umugwaneza.” Mu kigiriki cy’umwimerere, ijambo ryahinduwemo “umugwaneza,” rishobora no guhindurwamo ngo “umunyamakenga” (2 Timoteyo 2:24). Amakenga ni ubushobozi umuntu agira bwo kumenya ko agomba kwitonda mu mimerere runaka, kandi akavugana ubugwaneza nta we akomerekeje.

UMUCO WA 3. ITOZE GUSOHOZA INSHINGANO NSHYA Z’URUGO

Aho ikibazo kiri:

Mu mizo ya mbere, umugabo ashobora gukoresha ubutware bwe nabi, cyangwa umugore na we akaba atamenyereye gutanga ibitekerezo bye mu bugwaneza. Urugero, umugabo witwa Antonio wo mu Butaliyani, yaravuze ati “iyo data yabaga agiye gufata imyanzuro y’umuryango, ntiyakundaga kugisha inama mama. Ibyo byatumye mu mizo ya mbere nanjye ntwaza umuryango wanjye igitugu.” Umugore uba muri Kanada witwa Debbie, yaravuze ati “najyaga nsaba umugabo wanjye kugira isuku no gushyira ibintu bye kuri gahunda. Ariko kuba narabimubwiraga mutegeka, byatumaga arushaho kutava ku izima.”

Icyo umugabo yakora:

Hari abagabo bitiranya ihame rya Bibiliya rivuga ko umugore agomba kuganduka, n’itegeko rivuga ko umwana agomba kumvira ababyeyi (Abakolosayi 3:20; 1 Petero 3:1). Ariko kandi, mu gihe Bibiliya ivuga ko umugabo ‘azomatana n’umugore we, maze bombi bakaba umubiri umwe,’ nta ho ikoresha ayo magambo iyerekeza ku mwana n’umubyeyi we (Matayo 19:5). Yehova agaragaza ko umugore ari umufasha cyangwa icyuzuzo cy’umugabo we (Itangiriro 2:18). Ntiyigeze avuga ko umwana ari umufasha cyangwa icyuzuzo cy’umubyeyi we. None se wowe ubyumva ute? Ubwo koko umugabo aramutse abona umugore we nk’uko abona umwana we, yaba yubaha ishyingiranwa?

Ijambo ry’Imana rigusaba kubona umugore wawe nk’uko Kristo abona itorero rya gikristo. Uzorohereza umugore wawe kubona ko uri umutware we (1) nutitega ko azajya ahita yemera ibyo umubwiye byose, (2) kandi ukamukunda nk’uko wikunda, ndetse no mu gihe muhuye n’ibibazo.—Abefeso 5:25-29.

Icyo umugore yakora: Jya uzirikana ko umugabo wawe ari umutware wahawe n’Imana (1 Abakorinto 11:3). Iyo wumviye umugabo wawe, uba wumviye Imana. Numusuzugura, uzaba ugaragaje ko atari we usuzuguye gusa, ahubwo ko usuzuguye Imana, kandi ko udashaka gukora ibyo idusaba.—Abakolosayi 3:18.

Mu gihe muganira ku bibazo bikomeye, ujye ushaka uko byakemuka, aho gushinja umugabo wawe amakosa. Urugero, Umwamikazi Esiteri yashakaga ko Umwami Ahasuwerusi wari umugabo we, akemura ikibazo cy’akarengane. Aho kugira ngo agire icyo amushinja, yagaragaje ikibazo cye abigiranye amakenga. Umugabo we yemeye igitekerezo cye, kandi afata umwanzuro mwiza (Esiteri 7:1-4; 8:3-8). Umugabo wawe azarushaho kugukunda (1) numuha igihe cyo kumenyera inshingano ye yo kuba umutware w’umuryango, kandi (2) ukamwubaha, ndetse no mu gihe yakoze amakosa.—Abefeso 5:33.

Mukomeze kwitega ibintu bishyize mu gaciro

Kugira umuryango wishimye kandi uhamye, byagereranywa no kwiga gutwara igare. Uba witeze ko mbere y’uko ugira ubuhanga bwo kuritwara neza, hari igihe rizajya rigukubita hasi. Ubwo rero, wagombye no kwitega ko hari amakosa uzajya ukora, mbere y’uko uba inararibonye mu nshingano z’urugo.

Jya utera urwenya. Jya wirinda gupfobya ibintu bihangayikishije uwo mwashakanye, ariko mu gihe ukoze amakosa, ujye ugerageza kuyateramo urwenya. Jya ushaka uburyo bwo gushimisha umugore wawe muri uwo mwaka wa mbere mumaze mushyingiranywe (Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 24:5). Ikirenze byose, mujye mukurikiza ibivugwa mu Ijambo ry’Imana mu mishyikirano mugirana. Nimubigenza mutyo, ishyingiranwa ryanyu rizarushaho gukomera uko mwaka utashye.