UMUGEREKA

Ibibazo ababyeyi bakunze kwibaza

“Nakora iki kugira ngo nganire n’umwana wanjye?”

“Ese birakwiriye ko mutegeka isaha atagomba kurenza atarataha?”

“Nafasha nte umukobwa wanjye gushyira mu gaciro mu birebana n’imirire?”

Ibyo ni bimwe mu bibazo 17 bisubizwa muri uyu mugereka. Iyi ngingo igabanyijemo imitwe itandatu kandi igenda ikurangira aho ibice bijyanye n’ingingo runaka biboneka mu Mubumbe wa 1 n’uwa 2 w’igitabo Ibibazo urubyiruko rwibaza n’ibisubizo byabyo.

Soma iyi ngingo. Niba bishoboka uyiganireho n’uwo mwashakanye. Hanyuma ukoreshe inama zirimo kugira ngo ufashe abana bawe. Uzabonamo ibisubizo byiringirwa. Ibyo bisubizo ntibishingiye ku bitekerezo by’abantu badatunganye, ahubwo bishingiye mu Ijambo ry’Imana, Bibiliya.—2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17.

290 Gushyikirana

297 Amategeko

302 Umudendezo

307 Ibitsina no kurambagiza

311 Ibyiyumvo

315 Gukorera Imana

GUSHYIKIRANA

Ese koko gutongana n’uwo twashakanye cyangwa abana banjye, hari icyo bitwaye?

Abashakanye ntibabura ibyo bapfa. Icyakora, ni wowe uzahitamo uburyo bwo gukemura ibyo mutumvikanaho. Intonganya z’ababyeyi zigira ingaruka zibabaje ku bana babo. Icyo ni ikintu gikomeye, kuko uko mubanye ari byo biha abana banyu urugero bazakurikiza bamaze gushaka. None se kuki utahera ku byo mutumvikanaho, ngo ugaragaze uburyo bukwiriye bwo guhosha intonganya? Gerageza gukora ibi bikurikira:

Jya utega amatwi. Bibiliya itubwira ko tugomba ‘kwihutira kumva ariko tugatinda kuvuga, kandi tugatinda kurakara’ (Yakobo 1:19). Ntugakoze agati mu ntozi ‘witura’ inabi wagiriwe (Abaroma 12:17). Nubwo uwo mwashakanye yaba asa n’udashaka kugutega amatwi, wowe ujye umutega amatwi.

Gerageza gusobanura aho kunenga. Tuza hanyuma ubwire uwo mwashakanye uko ibyo yakoze byakubabaje (“numvise mbabaye igihe . . . ”). Irinde kumushinja cyangwa kumunenga (“Ntunyitaho.” “Nta na rimwe ujya untega amatwi.”)

Jya umenya igihe uba ukwiriye kwifata. Hari igihe biba byiza gusubika ikiganiro mukazongera kuganira mumaze gucururuka. Bibiliya igira iti “intangiriro y’amakimbirane ni nk’umuntu ugomoroye amazi; bityo rero, ujye wigendera intonganya zitaravuka.”—Imigani 17:14.

Mujye musabana imbabazi kandi niba bikwiriye, muzisabe n’abana banyu. Brianne, ufite imyaka 14, yaravuze ati “rimwe na rimwe iyo ababyeyi bacu bamaraga gutongana, jye na musaza wanjye mukuru badusabaga imbabazi kuko babaga bazi uko bitugiraho ingaruka.” Rimwe mu masomo y’ingenzi ushobora kwigisha abana bawe, ni ukuvuga bicishije bugufi ngo “mbabarira.”

Byagenda bite se mu gihe ikibazo kijemo no gutongana n’abana bawe? Tekereza urebe niba utarimo wenyegeza umuriro. Urugero, reba ibivugwa mu ntangiriro z’Igice cya 2, ku ipaji ya 15. Ese ushobora gutahura bimwe mu bintu nyina wa Rachel yavuze byatumye batongana? Wakora iki kugira ngo wirinde gutongana n’umwana wawe? Gerageza ibi bikurikira:

● Irinde kuvuga amagambo nk’aya yo gukabiriza, ngo “buri gihe . . . ” cyangwa ngo “nta na rimwe . . . ” Amagambo nk’ayo nta cyo amara uretse gutuma umwana yumva umukomerekeje. N’ubundi kandi, biba ari ugukabya kandi n’umwana wawe aba abizi. Umwana wawe ashobora no kuba azi ko ayo magambo yo gukabiriza uyavuze ubitewe n’uburakari, ko bidatewe n’amakosa ye.

● Aho gukoresha amagambo yo kumwibasira, gerageza kumwereka uburyo ibyo akora bikubabaza. Urugero, “iyo ugize gutya na gutya bituma numva . . . ” Wabyemera utabyemera, umwana wawe na we mu mutima we ntaba yifuza kukubabaza. Iyo ubwiye umwana wawe uburyo ubabaye, bishobora gutuma yemera ko muganira.a

● Nubwo bitoroshye, jya wifata ubanze ushire uburakari (Imigani 29:22). Niba utonganye n’umwana wawe bitewe n’imirimo yo mu rugo, mubiganireho. Andika ibyo asabwa gukora, kandi niba ari ngombwa umusobanurire ingaruka zizamugeraho nadakora ibyo umwitezeho. Ujye utega amatwi umwana wawe wihanganye wumve icyo atekereza, nubwo waba wumva ko ibyo atekereza atari byo. Abenshi mu bakiri bato, bishimira ko umuntu abatega amatwi kurusha ubategeka gukora iki cyangwa kiriya.

● Mbere yo guhita ufata umwanzuro w’uko umwana wawe yatwawe n’umwuka wo kwigomeka, zirikana ko ibyinshi mu byo umubonaho ari ibintu bisanzwe mu mikurire y’umwana. Umwana wawe ashobora kukugisha impaka ku kintu runaka, ashaka gusa kukwereka ko amaze gukura. Irinde gutongana na we. Jya uzirikana ko uko witwara iyo hagize ugushotora, umwana wawe abifatiraho urugero. Nutanga urugero rwiza mu birebana no kwihangana, umwana wawe ashobora kukwigana.—Abagalatiya 5:22, 23.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 2, N’UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 24

Ese birakwiriye ko mbwira abana banjye ibyambayeho kera byose?

Tekereza uramutse uri kumwe n’uwo mwashakanye, umukobwa wanyu na bamwe mu ncuti z’umuryango wanyu mufatira amafunguro hamwe. Mu biganiro, incuti yawe igize itya ivuga umuntu mwigeze kurambagizanya ariko mukaza gushwana, mbere y’uko umenyana n’uwo ubu mwashakanye. Umukobwa wawe abaye nk’ukubiswe n’inkuba. Arakubajije ati “ye! Ubwo ni ukuvuga ko hari undi muntu mwigeze kurambagizanya?” Ntiwigeze umubwira iyo nkuru mbere hose. None ubu arashaka ko ubimubwira. Uzabigenza ute?

Ubusanzwe biba byiza iyo wirinze gupfobya ikibazo umwana wawe afite. N’ubundi kandi, iyo umwana akubaza ibibazo nawe ukamusubiza, muba mushyikirana; kandi ibyo ni byo ababyeyi benshi bifuza.

Ariko se, ni ibihe bintu byakubayeho kera ukwiriye kubwira abana bawe? Ubusanzwe, ushobora kumva wakwifata ntubabwire ibintu byagutera ipfunwe. Icyakora niba bikwiriye, kubwira abana bawe zimwe mu ngorane wahuye na zo bishobora kubafasha. Mu buhe buryo?

Dufate urugero. Intumwa Pawulo yigeze kuvuga uko yumvaga amerewe agira ati “iyo nifuza gukora icyiza, ikibi kiba kiri kumwe nanjye. . . . Mbega ukuntu ndi uwo kubabarirwa!” (Abaroma 7:21-24). Yehova Imana yandikishije ayo magambo kandi n’ubu ayo magambo aracyari muri Bibiliya kugira ngo atugirire akamaro. Kandi koko atugirira akamaro, kuko ibyo Pawulo yavuze atibereye nta we bitabaho.

Mu buryo nk’ubwo, iyo abana bawe bumvise ukuntu wagiye ufata imyanzuro myiza n’amakosa wagiye ukora, bituma bumva mufite byinshi muhuriyeho. Ni iby’ukuri ko mwakuze mu bihe bitandukanye. Icyakora nubwo ibihe byahindutse, uko umuntu ateye byo ntibyahindutse, kandi n’amahame yo mu Byanditswe na yo ni uko (Zaburi 119:144). Kuganira n’abana bawe ku bibazo wahuye na byo n’uko wabitsinze, bishobora kubafasha gukemura ibibazo bahura na byo. Umusore witwa Cameron yaravuze ati “iyo umenye ko ababyeyi bawe bahuye n’ibibazo bimeze nk’ibyo uhura na byo, wumva urushijeho kubaha agaciro. Ikindi gihe niwongera guhura n’ikibazo, uzibaza niba ababyeyi bawe na bo barahuye na cyo.”

Jya uzirikana ko inkuru zose ubabwira atari ko buri gihe zigomba kuba ziherekejwe n’inama. Birumvikana ko ushobora kuba uhangayikishijwe n’uko umwana wawe yabyumva nabi cyangwa bigatuma yumva ko gukora amakosa nk’ayo wakoze nta kibi kirimo. Aho kuvuga muri make isomo umwana wawe yabikuramo (wenda ngo “iyo ni yo mpamvu na we udakwiriye na rimwe . . . ”), mubwire muri make uko ubu wumva umeze (“iyo nshubije amaso inyuma, nsanga atari ko nari nkwiriye kubigenza kuko . . . ”). Ibyo bishobora gutuma abana bawe bagukuraho amasomo y’ingenzi, aho kumva ko wababwiraga gusa icyo bakwiriye gukora n’icyo badakwiriye gukora.—Abefeso 6:4.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 1

Nakora iki kugira ngo nganire n’umwana wanjye?

Igihe abana bawe bari bakiri bato, birashoboka ko bajyaga bakubwira twose. Iyo wababazaga ikibazo, bagusubizaga nta cyo bishisha. Ndetse akenshi ntibyabaga ngombwa ko ugira icyo ubabaza; bapfaga kukubona gusa bagahita babikubwira. Ariko kandi, kugerageza kuvugana n’abana bawe bari mu kigero cy’amabyiruka, ni kimwe no kugerageza kuvoma amazi mu iriba ryakamye. Ushobora kuba ujya wibwira uti ‘ko baganira n’incuti zabo, kuki jye batanganiriza?’

Nubona abana bawe bageze muri icyo kigero bacecetse, ntukumve ko bakwanze cyangwa ko badashaka ko ubinjirira mu buzima. Ahubwo ujye uzirikana ko ubu ari bwo bagukeneye kuruta ikindi gihe cyose. Igishimishije, ni uko ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abenshi mu ngimbi n’abangavu bagiha agaciro inama z’ababyeyi babo, kuruta iza bagenzi babo cyangwa izo basanga mu binyamakuru.

None se kuki badapfa kukubwira ibyo batekereza? Suzuma zimwe mu mpamvu zituma bamwe mu bakiri bato badapfa kuganiriza ababyeyi babo. Hanyuma wibaze ibibazo biherekeje ayo magambo ndetse usuzume n’imirongo y’Ibyanditswe yatanzwe.

“Mbona bitoroshye kuganira na papa kubera ko aba afite byinshi ahugiyemo, haba ku kazi no mu itorero. Mbona nta gihe gikwiriye kijya kiboneka cyo kuganira na we.”—Andrew.

‘Ese naba naratumye abana banjye babona ko mpuze cyane, ku buryo tudashobora kuganira? Niba ari uko bimeze se, nakora iki kugira ngo barusheho kunyisangaho? Ni ikihe gihe nateganya buri munsi kugira ngo njye nganira n’abana banjye?’—Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:7.

“Navuye ku ishuri ndira hari umwana twatonganye, nza nshaka kubibwira mama. Nifuzaga ko yampumuriza, ariko we yahise ancyaha. Kuva icyo gihe, nta kintu cyihariye nigeze nongera kumubwira.”—Kenji.

‘Iyo abana banjye baje kumbwira ikibazo bafite, mbakira nte? Nubwo byaba bisaba kubakosora, ese nakwitoza kujya mbanza kubatega amatwi kandi nkishyira mu mwanya wabo mbere yo kubagira inama?’—Yakobo 1:19.

“Bisa n’aho buri gihe iyo ababyeyi banjye bansabye ko tuganira kandi bakambwira ko batari burakare, babirengaho bakarakara. Ibyo bituma umuntu yumva atengushywe.”—Rachel.

‘Umwana wanjye nambwira ikintu kikandakaza, nzakora iki kugira ngo ntarengera?’—Imigani 10:19.

“Incuro nyinshi iyo nabwiraga mama amabanga yanjye, na we yarahindukiraga akayabwira incuti ze. Hashize igihe kirekire naramutakarije icyizere.”—Chantelle.

‘Ese ngaragaza ko nita ku byiyumvo by’abana banjye nirinda kumena amabanga baba bambwiye?’—Imigani 25:9.

“Hari ibintu byinshi nifuza kuganiraho n’ababyeyi banjye. Jye mba nkeneye gusa ko batangira ikiganiro.”—Courtney.

‘Ese nshobora gufata iya mbere nkavugisha umwana wanjye ugeze mu kigero cy’amabyiruka? Ni ikihe gihe cyaba cyiza cyo kuganira na we?’—Umubwiriza 3:7.

Mubyeyi, nushyiraho imihati kugira ngo uganire n’umwana wawe, bizakugirira akamaro. Zirikana ibyabaye ku mukobwa wo mu Buyapani ufite imyaka 17 witwa Junko. Yaravuze ati “rimwe nabwiye mama ko numva nisanzuye iyo ndi kumwe n’abanyeshuri bagenzi banjye, kuruta iyo ndi kumwe n’abandi Bakristo. Bukeye bwaho, ku kameza kanjye nahasanze ibaruwa mama yari yanyandikiye. Muri iyo baruwa, yambwiye uburyo nawe yigeze kumva yarabuze incuti mu Bakristo bagenzi be. Yanyibukije abantu bavugwa muri Bibiliya bakoreye Imana, mu gihe nta wundi muntu wari uhari wo kubatera inkunga. Nanone yanshimiye imihati nashyizeho kugira ngo nshake incuti nziza. Natangajwe no kumenya ko atari jye jyenyine wahanganye n’icyo kibazo. Mama na we byamubayeho; kubimenya byankoze ku mutima cyane ku buryo narize. Natewe inkunga cyane n’ibyo mama yambwiye, bituma ndushaho kwiyemeza gukora ibikwiriye.”

Nk’uko nyina wa Junko yabibonye, ingimbi n’abangavu bakunze kwemera kuganira n’ababyeyi babo, iyo bizeye neza ko abo babyeyi batazanenga cyangwa ngo bapfobye ibitekerezo byabo n’ibyiyumvo byabo. Ariko se, wakora iki mu gihe umwana wawe akuvugishije asa n’ubabaye cyangwa arakaye? Ujye wirinda kumusubiza nk’uko akubwiye (Abaroma 12:21; 1 Petero 2:23). Ahubwo, nubwo bisa n’ibigoye, musubize ku buryo na we abona icyitegererezo cy’uburyo umuntu wo mu kigero cye yagombye kuvuga, n’amagambo yagombye gukoresha.

Hari ikintu ukwiriye kuzirikana: uko abakiri bato bagenda bakura, iyo bageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka bagira ihinduka. Abashakashatsi babonye ko muri icyo gihe imyifatire yabo igenda ihindagurika: igihe kimwe bagakora ibintu birenze imyaka yabo, ubundi bagakora ibintu nk’iby’abana. Uzakora iki se nubona umwana wawe yitwara atyo, cyane cyane akora ibintu nk’iby’abana bidahuje n’ikigero agezemo?

Ntukihutire kumunenga cyangwa ngo mutangire gutongana nk’abana. Ahubwo, jya umusaba kwitwara nk’umuntu ukuze (1 Abakorinto 13:11). Urugero, niba umusore cyangwa umukobwa wawe atangiye kwitwara nk’umwana, maze akakubaza ati “ariko kuki uhora ungendaho?” Ibyo bishobora gutuma umusubizanya uburakari. Iyo ubigenje utyo, ibyari ibiganiro bihagararira aho kandi ushobora no gutangira gutongana na we. Aho kubigenza utyo, ushobora kwivugira gusa uti “ese ibyo nkubwiye byakubabaje? Ese ntibyaba byiza tubiganiriyeho ikindi gihe umaze gucururuka?” Icyo gihe, uba ukemuye neza icyo kibazo. Ubwo muba mushyizeho urufatiro rwo kuganira aho gutongana.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 1 N’ICYA 2

AMATEGEKO

Ese birakwiriye ko mutegeka isaha atagomba kurenza atarataha?

Kugira ngo tugufashe gusubiza icyo kibazo, tekereza ibi bikubayeho: umuhungu wawe arengeje iminota 30 ku isaha agomba gutahiraho, none wumvise afunguye urugi bucece. Uribwiye uti ‘buriya yibwiye ko naryamye.’ Nyamara nturaryama. Ahubwo kuva igihe umuhungu wawe yagombaga gutahiraho, wari wicaye hafi y’urugi. Noneho afunguye urugi, mukubitana amaso. Uramubwira iki? Urakora iki?

Hari ibintu byinshi ushobora gukora. Ushobora gusa n’uwirengagije iryo kosa, ukavuga wenda uti ‘ni ko abana b’abahungu babaye.’ Ushobora no kubiha uburemere bukabije, ukavuga uti ‘ubu noneho ngiye kugufatira ibyemezo bikaze.’ Aho kugira icyo ukora uhubutse, banza umutege amatwi wumve niba hari impamvu yumvikana yaba yatumye atinda gutaha. Kuba atubahirije isaha, bishobora gutuma uboneraho uburyo bwo kumwigisha isomo ry’ingenzi. Wabigenza ute?

Inama: Bwira umwana wawe ko icyo kibazo muzakiganiraho bukeye bwaho. Hanyuma, mu gihe gikwiriye, wicarane n’umwana wawe muganire uko mwagikemura. Dore uko ababyeyi bamwe bagerageje kubigenza: tuvuge ko umwana arengeje isaha yo gutaha yemeranyijeho n’ababyeyi. Ubutaha iyo yongeye guhabwa uruhushya, isaha atagombye kurenza bayigabanyaho iminota 30. Ku rundi ruhande ariko, iyo umwana ahora ataha ku isaha mwumvikanyeho kandi akaba amaze iminsi yitwara neza, mushobora kureba niba yahabwa umudendezo ushyize mu gaciro, wenda mukigiza inyuma isaha yatahiragaho. Ni iby’ingenzi ko umwana wawe amenya neza igihe akwiriye kugerera mu rugo, n’ibihano ashobora gufatirwa naramuka arenze ku isaha yo gutaha mwumvikanyeho. Kandi ugomba kubahiriza ibyo bihano.

Icyakora, ukwiriye kuzirikana ko Bibiliya igira iti “gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose” (Abafilipi 4:5). Bityo rero, mbere yo gushyiraho isaha umwana wawe akwiriye gutahiraho, ushobora kubiganiraho na we, ukamwemerera gutanga igitekerezo n’impamvu yumva ko yajya ataha icyo gihe. Jya uba witeguye kwita ku byo agusabye. Niba umwana wawe yaragaragaje ko aciye akenge, ushobora kumwemerera ibyo asaba niba bishyize mu gaciro.

Kubahiriza igihe ni kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi mu buzima. Ubwo rero, gushyiriraho umwana wawe igihe cyo gutaha, si ukugira ngo gusa umurinde ibibazo yahura na byo. Ahubwo binamwigisha ubwenge azakenera igihe azaba yibana.—Imigani 22:6.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 3 N’UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 22

Nakemura nte ibyo ntumvikanaho n’abana banjye ku birebana n’imyambarire?

Reba inkuru itangira ku ipaji ya 77. Ngaho ibaze Heather ari umukobwa wawe. Ntiwabura kubona ko yambaye akantu kangana urwara kandi kamwambika ubusa. Nawe uhise umubwira uti “umva muko, zamuka uhindure imyenda, na ho ubundi nta ho ujya.” Kumubwira utyo bishobora kugira icyo bigeraho. N’ubundi kandi, nta kindi umukobwa wawe yakora kitari ukukumvira. Ariko se wakora iki kugira ngo uhindure ibitekerezo bye, aho guhindura imyambarire ye?

● Icya mbere ugomba kuzirikana ni iki: kimwe nawe, umwana wawe aba ahangayikishijwe n’ingaruka zo kwambara nabi, ndetse wenda no kukurusha. Mu by’ukuri, umwana wawe ntaba ashaka ko abandi babona ko ari umusazi cyangwa ko agamije ko bamureba. Musobanurire neza witonze ko imyenda imwambika ubusa, idatuma agaragara neza kandi umusobanurire n’impamvu.b Mugire inama y’ibindi yakwambara.

● Icya kabiri, jya ushyira mu gaciro. Ibaze uti ‘ese uyu mwenda hari amahame ya Bibiliya urengera cyangwa ni uko gusa numva ntawushaka?’ (2 Abakorinto 1:24; 1 Timoteyo 2:9, 10). Niba ari uko wowe wumva utawushaka gusa, ese ntiwareka uwo mwana akawiyambarira?

● Icya gatatu, ntugapfe kubwira umwana wawe ubwoko bw’imyenda ubona budakwiriye. Mufashe kubona imyenda ikwiriye. Ushobora kwifashisha agasanduku kari ku ipaji ya 82 n’iya 83, kakabafasha kubiganiraho. Imihati uzashyiraho n’igihe bizamara ntibizapfa ubusa.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 11

Ese nkwiriye kwemerera umwana wanjye gukina imikino ya elegitoroniki?

Ugereranyije igihe wari ukiri muto no muri iki gihe, imikino ya elegitoroniki yagiye ihinduka cyane. Mubyeyi, wakora iki kugira ngo ufashe umwana wawe kumenya ibibi iyo mikino ishobora guteza no kubyirinda?

Nta cyo wageraho uramutse wamaganye imikino yose ya elegitoroniki cyangwa ukemeza ko gukina iyo mikino ari uguta igihe. Jya uzirikana ko imikino yose atari mibi. Icyakora umuntu ashobora gutwarwa umutima na yo. Ubwo rero, genzura umenye igihe umwana amara akina iyo mikino. Nanone ujye umenya ubwoko bw’imikino umwana wawe asa n’aho akunda. Ushobora no kubaza umwana wawe ibibazo nk’ibi bikurikira:

● Ni uwuhe mukino abo mwigana bakunda cyane?

● Ni ibiki bibera muri uwo mukino?

● Utekereza ko ari iki gituma bakunda uwo mukino?

Ushobora gusanga umwana wawe azi byinshi ku mikino ya elegitoroniki kuruta uko wabitekerezaga. Biranashoboka ko yaba yarigeze gukina imikino wumva ko ikemangwa. Niba usanze ari uko bimeze, ntugahite umwuka inabi. Ubwo ni uburyo uba ubonye bwo gufasha umwana wawe kugira ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu.—Abaheburayo 5:14.

Baza umwana wawe ibibazo bishobora kumufasha kumenya impamvu yumva akuruwe n’imikino ikemangwa. Urugero, ushobora kumubaza uti:

● Ese wumva waracikanwe kuko utemerewe gukina umukino runaka?

Hari abakiri bato bakina umukino runaka kugira ngo bazabone ibyo baganira na bagenzi babo. Niba ari uko bimeze ku mwana wawe, ntabwo uzamuganiriza kuri icyo kibazo nk’uko wari kubikora iyo uza gusanga yakundaga imikino irimo urugomo rukabije n’ubwiyandarike.—Abakolosayi 4:6.

None se wakora iki mu gihe umwana wawe akunda imikino ishobora kumugiraho ingaruka? Bamwe mu bakiri bato bahita bahakana bavuga ko bataragerwaho n’ingaruka z’imikino yo kuri orudinateri irimo urugomo rukabije. Baribwira bati ‘kuba mbikorera kuri orudinateri ntibivuga ko nzabikora no mu buzima busanzwe.’ Niba umwana wawe ari uko abyumva, mufashe gutekereza ku magambo yo muri Zaburi 11:5. Nk’uko ayo magambo abigaragaza neza, uwo Yehova yanga si umuntu w’umunyarugomo gusa, ahubwo n’ukunda urugomo na we aramwanga. Iryo hame nanone ryashyirwa mu bikorwa mu birebana n’ubwiyandarike, cyangwa indi ngeso iyo ari yo yose Ijambo ry’Imana riciraho iteka.—Zaburi 97:10.

Niba imikino ya elegitoroniki ari ikibazo ku mwana wawe, gerageza gukora ibi bikurikira:

● Ntukemere ko akinira iyo mikino ahantu hiherereye, nko mu cyumba cye.

● Shyiraho amategeko agenga iyo mikino (urugero: ntibyemewe gukina utararangiza umukoro wo ku ishuri, utararya cyangwa utarakora indi mirimo y’ingenzi).

● Mufashe kumva akamaro ko gukora imirimo isaba imbaraga.

● Abana bawe bajye bakinira iyo mikino ya elegitoroniki aho ureba. Bizanarushaho kuba byiza nujya ubona akanya ugakina na bo.

Birumvikana ko kugira ngo ufashe abana bawe kumenya ibiri muri iyo mikino, ugomba kuba ushobora kuvugana ubushizi bw’amanga. Ibaze uti ‘ni ibihe biganiro byo kuri televiziyo ndetse na za filimi ndeba?’ Ntuzishuke, kuko niba ufite imibereho y’amaharakubiri, abana bawe bazaba babizi.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 30

Nakora iki mu gihe umwana wanjye yatwawe umutima na telefoni, orudinateri cyangwa ibindi bikoresho bya elegitoroniki?

Ese umwana wawe amara igihe kirekire kuri interineti, yohereza kandi yakira ubutumwa bugufi? Yaba se amarana igihe kirekire n’akaradiyo ke kurusha igihe mumarana? Wakora iki se niba ari uko bimeze?

Ushobora guhita umwaka icyo gikoresho cya elegitoroniki. Icyakora, ntukumve ko ibikoresho byose bya elegitoroniki ari bibi. Uretse n’ibyo kandi, nawe hari ibikoresho bya elegitoroniki ukoresha ababyeyi bawe batigeze bakoresha. None se aho kugira ngo wake umwana wawe igikoresho cya elegitoroniki—uretse wenda niba ufite impamvu yumvikana yo kubikora—kuki utaboneraho uburyo bwo kumutoza kugikoresha neza kandi mu rugero? Wabigenza ute?

Icarana n’umwana wawe muganire kuri icyo kibazo. Icya mbere, mubwire impungenge ufite. Icya kabiri, mutege amatwi wumve ibyo akubwira (Imigani 18:13). Icya gatatu, murebere hamwe uburyo bushyize mu gaciro bwo gukemura icyo kibazo. Ntutinye kumushyiriraho imipaka atagomba kurenga, ariko kandi ushyire mu gaciro. Umukobwa w’umwangavu witwa Ellen, yaravuze ati “igihe nari naratwawe umutima no kohereza ubutumwa bugufi kuri telefoni, ababyeyi banjye ntibanyatse iyo telefoni. Ahubwo banshyiriyeho amabwiriza y’uburyo ngomba kuyikoresha. Ubwo buryo bakemuyemo icyo kibazo, bwamfashije gushyira mu gaciro mu bijyanye no kohereza ubutumwa kuri telefoni, ndetse n’igihe ababyeyi banjye baba badahari.”

Byagenda bite se niba umwana wawe ahise arakazwa n’ibyo ukoze? Ntugahite wumva ko kumugira inama ari nko gucurangira abahetsi. Ahubwo ihangane kandi umuhe igihe cyo kubitekerezaho. Hari igihe na we azabona ibintu nk’uko ubibona kandi akitegura kugira icyo akosora. Abenshi mu rubyiruko bameze nka Hailey, wavuze ati “igihe ababyeyi banjye bambwiraga ku ncuro ya mbere ko natwawe umutima na orudinateri, byarambabaje. Icyakora nyuma yaho naje kubitekerezaho nitonze, nsanga ibyo ababyeyi banjye bambwiraga ari ukuri.”

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 36

UMUDENDEZO

Umwana wanjye nkwiriye kumuha umudendezo ungana iki?

Icyo kibazo gishobora gusa n’aho kitoroshye, cyane cyane mu birebana n’ubuzima bwite bw’umwana wawe. Urugero, utekereza iki iyo umuhungu wawe ari mu cyumba cye hafunze? Ese wakwihura mu cyumba cye udakomanze? Ese ukora iki iyo umukobwa wawe yagiye ku ishuri yihuta akibagirirwa telefoni ye mu rugo? Ese urayifata ugatangira gusoma ubutumwa bwanditsemo?

Gusubiza ibyo bibazo ntibyoroshye. Kubera ko uri umubyeyi, ufite uburenganzira bwo kumenya uko umwana wawe abayeho kandi ufite inshingano yo kumurinda icyamugirira nabi. Icyakora, ntabwo uri umupolisi wo guhora ugenzura buri kantu kose umwana wawe akoze, umukeka amababa. Wagaragaza ute ko ushyira mu gaciro?

Icya mbere, menya ko kuba umwana ugeze mu gihe cy’ubwangavu cyangwa ubugimbi ashaka kugira ubuzima bwite, bitavuga ko byanze bikunze ashaka gukora ibibi. Ibyo ni ibintu bisanzwe iyo umuntu ageze muri icyo kigero. Kugira umudendezo bifasha ingimbi n’abangavu kwirwanaho mu gihe bishakira incuti, no mu gihe batekereza uko bakemura ibibazo byabo bakoresheje ‘ubushobozi bwabo bwo gutekereza’ (Abaroma 12:1, 2). Nanone umudendezo ufasha ingimbi n’abangavu kugira ubushobozi bwo gutekereza, uwo akaba ari umuco w’ingenzi ubafasha guca akenge. Binatuma babona uburyo bwo gutekereza mbere yo gufata imyanzuro cyangwa mbere yo gukemura ibibazo.—Imigani 15:28.

Icya kabiri, zirikana ko guhora ugenzura umwana wawe muri buri kantu kose, bishobora gutuma aba umurakare kandi akigomeka (Abefeso 6:4; Abakolosayi 3:21). Ese ibyo bivuze ko uzaterera iyo? Oya. Uzirikane ko ukiri umubyeyi we. Icyakora intego yawe ni iyo gufasha umwana wawe kugira umutimanama watojwe neza (Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6, 7; Imigani 22:6). Zirikana kandi ko amaherezo kumugira inama ari byo bigira akamaro kuruta kumugenzura.

Icya gatatu, ganira n’umwana wawe kuri icyo kibazo. Umva ibimuhangayikishije. Ese haba hari igihe uba ukwiriye kuva ku izima? Izeze umwana wawe ko azahabwa umudendezo mu rugero runaka, apfa gusa kuwukoresha neza ntagutenguhe. Mubwire ibihano azahabwa natumvira kandi uzabikurikize nibiba ngombwa. Izere rwose ko ushobora guha umwana wawe umudendezo kandi utirengagije inshingano yawe y’umubyeyi wita ku mwana we.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 3 N’ICYA 15

Umwana wanjye akwiriye kureka ishuri ryari?

“Abarimu maze kubahaga!” “Imikoro yo ku ishuri yambanye myinshi.” “Nkora ibishoboka byose ngo mbone icya kabiri, ariko na byo nibaza icyo bimaze nkakibura.” Iyo bamwe mu rubyiruko bibashobeye, bahitamo kureka ishuri bataragira ubumenyi bwazababeshaho. Wakora iki se niba umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wawe ashaka kureka ishuri? Gerageza ibi bikurikira:

● Suzuma uko wowe ubwawe ubona amashuri. Ese wabonaga kwiga ari nko guta igihe, akaba ari nk’‘igihano cy’igifungo’ wakatiwe, uzategereza ko kirangira kugira ngo wigire mu bindi bintu by’ingenzi? Niba ari uko bimeze, uko wabonaga ibirebana n’amashuri, abana bawe bashobora kuzabikurikiza. Abana bawe nibiga neza, bizabafasha kugira ‘ubwenge n’ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu,’ kandi iyo ni imico bakeneye kugira ngo bazagere ku ntego zabo.—Imigani 3:21.

● Bahe ibyo bakeneye. Hari abana baba bashobora kugira amanota meza, ariko bakaba batazi uko bakwiga, cyangwa bakaba badafite ahantu heza ho kwigira. Ahantu heza ho kwigira haba hari ameza atariho akaduruvayo, hari urumuri ruhagije n’ibikoresho by’ubushakashatsi. Ushobora gufasha umwana wawe kugira icyo ageraho, haba mu buzima busanzwe cyangwa mu buryo bw’umwuka, umuha uburyo bwo kwitekerereza akunguka ibintu bishya.—Gereranya na 1 Timoteyo 4:15.

● Bimufashemo. Jya ubona ko abarimu n’abajyanama ari abantu mufatanyije kurera, aho kuba abanzi bawe. Shaka akanya ujye kubareba, umenye amazina yabo. Muganire ku ntego umwana wawe afite n’ingorane ahura na zo. Niba umwana wawe atagira amanota meza, gerageza kumenya impamvu. Urugero, ese umwana wawe yaba atekereza ko nagira amanota menshi abandi banyeshuri bazajya bamugirira ishyari? Ese yaba afitanye ikibazo n’umwarimu? Amasomo se yo bimeze bite? Ese umwana wawe ahora mu mikoro no mu bizamini biza byikurikiranya, ku buryo yumva atagishoboye kubyihanganira? Hari ikindi kintu ushobora gutekerezaho: ese ntibyaba biterwa n’iyindi mpamvu, nko kurwara amaso cyangwa kudashobora gufata ibintu mu mutwe?

Nufasha umwana wawe kwiga neza, haba mu buryo bw’umwuka no mu buzima busanzwe, bizatuma arushaho kugira icyo ageraho.—Zaburi 127:4, 5.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 19

Nzabwirwa n’iki igihe umwana wanjye akwiriye kuva mu rugo?

Serena, wavuzwe mu gice cya 7 cy’iki gitabo yatinyaga kuva iwabo. Kubera iki? Yaravuze ati “papa ntashobora kwemera ko ngira icyo nigurira, nubwo naba nkiguze amafaranga yanjye. Avuga ko iyo ari inshingano ye. Ubwo rero, iyo ntekereje kuzajya niyishyurira ikintu cyose nkeneye, numva binteye ubwoba.” Nta wahakana ko papa wa Serena amushakira ibyiza rwose. Ariko se, utekereza ko arimo afasha umukobwa we kuzibeshaho, igihe azaba atakiba iwabo?—Imigani 31:10, 18, 27.

Ese kwita ku bana bawe byaba bituma badashobora kuzibeshaho bo ubwabo? Wabibwirwa n’iki? Suzuma ibintu bigera kuri bine byavuzwe mu gice cya 7, munsi y’agatwe kavuga ngo “Ese nditeguye?” Ariko ubisuzume uzirikana ko uri umubyeyi.

Kumenya gukoresha neza amafaranga. Ese abana bawe bakuru, baba bazi ibiciro by’ibyo kurya, amafaranga y’ubukode ndetse n’ibintu by’ibanze mukoresha mu rugo (Abaroma 13:7)? Ese baba bazi gukoresha neza amafaranga y’inguzanyo (Imigani 22:7)? Ese bazi gucunga neza amafaranga babona kandi bakabaho mu buryo buhuje n’amikoro yabo (Luka 14:28-30)? Ese baba barigeze bumva ibyishimo umuntu aheshwa no kwigurira ikintu ashaka mu mafaranga yakoreye? Ese bigeze bagira ibyishimo umuntu aheshwa no gukoresha igihe cye n’ubutunzi bwe afasha abandi?—Ibyakozwe 20:35.

Kumenya imirimo yo mu rugo. Ese abakobwa n’abahungu bawe bazi guteka? Ese wabigishije kumesa no gutera ipasi? Niba bazi gutwara imodoka, ese bazi byibura utuntu duke two gukanika, urugero nko guhindura fizibule, amavuta cyangwa ipine yashizemo umwuka?

Kumenya kubana n’abandi. Ese abana bawe bakuru iyo bagize ibyo bapfa, waba umera nk’umusifuzi, ukabategeka uko bari bukemure ikibazo bagiranye? Cyangwa se, wamaze kubatoza uko bakemura ibibazo bafitanye mu mahoro, hanyuma bakaza kukubwira uko byagenze?—Matayo 5:23-25.

Gahunda ihoraho yo gusoma Bibiliya no gukorera Imana. Ese ni wowe uhitiramo abana bawe ibyo bagomba kwemera cyangwa urabigisha ku buryo babyemera (2 Timoteyo 3:14, 15)? Ese aho guhora usubiza ibibazo bafite ku birebana no kuyoboka Imana cyangwa ukabahitiramo icyiza n’ikibi, ntiwabafasha gutoza “ubushobozi [bwabo] bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu” (Imigani 1:4)? Ese wakwishimira ko bakurikiza gahunda yawe yo kwiyigisha Bibiliya, cyangwa se hari ikindi cyiza wifuza ko bakora?c

Gutoza abana ibyo bintu byavuzwe haruguru, bisaba igihe no gushyiraho imihati. Ariko uzishimira ko iyo mihati washyizeho yagize icyo igeraho igihe bazaba bavuye mu rugo, nubwo utazabura kubabara nubasezera bagiye.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 7

IBITSINA NO KURAMBAGIZA

Ese nkwiriye kuganira n’umwana wanjye ibirebana n’ibitsina?

Abana basigaye bamenya ibirebana n’ibitsina bakiri bato cyane. Kuva kera Bibiliya yari yaravuze ko ‘iminsi y’imperuka’ yari kuzarangwa n’“ibihe biruhije, bigoye kwihanganira,” aho abantu bari kuba “batamenya kwifata,” kandi “bakunda ibinezeza aho gukunda Imana” (2 Timoteyo 3:1, 3, 4). Kuba abantu basigaye bumva ko kuryamana batarashakana nta cyo bitwaye, ni kimwe mu bintu bigaragaza ko ubwo buhanuzi ari ukuri.

Isi turimo muri iki gihe itandukanye cyane n’iyo wakuriyemo. Icyakora hari ibintu bimwe na bimwe ihuriyeho n’iya kera. Ubwo rero, ibintu bibi bishobora kugira ingaruka ku bana bawe ntibikaguhahamure cyangwa ngo bigutere ubwoba. Ahubwo iyemeze kubafasha gukora nk’ibyo intumwa Pawulo yasabye Abakristo mu myaka 2.000 ishize, igihe yavugaga ati “mwambare intwaro zuzuye ziva ku Mana, kugira ngo mushobore kurwanya amayeri ya Satani mushikamye” (Abefeso 6:11). Icyo ugomba kuzirikana ni uko Abakristo benshi bakiri bato barwana intambara yo gukora icyiza, nubwo baba bakikijwe n’abantu bashobora kubayobya. Wakora iki kugira ngo ufashe abana bawe kubigenza batyo?

Uburyo bumwe wakoresha ni ukuganira na bo wifashishije ibice byatoranyijwe mu Mutwe wa 4 w’iki gitabo, no mu Mutwe wa 1 n’uwa 7 mu Mubumbe wa 2. Ibyo bice birimo imirongo yo muri Bibiliya ituma umuntu atekereza. Imwe muri iyo mirongo iba igaragaza ingero z’abantu bakoze ibyiza bakabona imigisha, n’abandi birengagije amategeko y’Imana bagahura n’ingaruka. Indi mirongo ikubiyemo amahame ashobora gufasha abana bawe gusobanukirwa, ibyiza byo kuba wowe na bo mugendera ku mahame y’Imana mu mibereho yanyu. None se ntiwateganya vuba aha igihe cyo kuganira na bo ibi tumaze kuvuga?

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 23, ICYA 25 N’ICYA 32, N’UMUBUMBE WA 2 IGICE CYA 4-6, 28 N’ICYA 29

Ese nkwiriye kwemerera umwana wanjye kugirana ubucuti n’uwo badahuje igitsina?

Byatinda byatebuka, abana bazatangira gushaka incuti z’abantu badahuje igitsina. Umuhungu witwa Phillip yaravuze ati “nubwo jye nta cyo mba nakoze, abakobwa bansaba ko dusohokana. Iyo babimbwiye ndibaza nti ‘ese ndabasubiza iki?’ Kubahakanira birangora, kuko bamwe muri bo baba ari beza cyane!”

Mubyeyi, ikintu cyiza wakora ni ukubiganiraho n’umwana wawe, wenda wifashishije Igice cya 1 mu Mubumbe wa 2. Menya uko umwana wawe yumva ameze bitewe n’ibibazo ahura na byo ku ishuri no mu itorero. Hari igihe mushobora kubiganiraho “mwicaye mu nzu [cyangwa] igihe mugenda mu nzira” (Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6, 7). Aho mwaba muri hose, ujye uzirikana ko ugomba ‘kwihutira kumva ariko ugatinda kuvuga.’—Yakobo 1:19.

Niba umuhungu wawe cyangwa umukobwa wawe akunze umuntu badahuje igitsina, ntibikagutere ubwoba. Hari umukobwa wavuze ati “igihe papa yamenyaga ko hari umuhungu turi incuti, yararakaye cyane. Yageragezaga kuntera ubwoba ambaza ibibazo ngo arebe niba ngeze igihe cyo gushaka. Ku muntu ukiri muto, ibibazo nk’ibyo bishobora gutuma wumva ushaka gukomeza ubwo bucuti ufitanye n’uwo musore, kugira ngo ukunde wereke ababyeyi bawe ko bibeshya.”

Iyo abana bawe bazi ko udashaka ko muganira ibirebana n’ubucuti bafitanye n’abo badahuje igitsina, hari ikintu kibi gishobora kubaho: bashobora gucudika mu ibanga n’umuntu badahuje igitsina. Hari umukobwa wavuze ati “iyo ababyeyi babyakiriye nabi, bituma umwana arushaho guhisha ubucuti afitanye n’uwo muntu. Ntibabuhagarika, ahubwo babukomeza rwihishwa.”

Uramutse uganiriye na bo nta cyo mukinganye, warushaho kugira icyo ugeraho. Umukobwa witwa Brittany, ufite imyaka 20, yaravuze ati “nta cyo ababyeyi banjye batambwiye ku birebana no kurambagiza. Baba bifuza kumenya uwo dufitanye ubucuti kandi nabonye ko ari ibintu byiza. Papa aganira n’uwo musore. Iyo hari impungenge ababyeyi banjye bafite, barazimbwira. Akenshi nkunze guhakanira umuhungu tutarageza igihe cyo kurambagizanya.”

Umaze gusoma Igice cya 2 mu Mubumbe wa 2, ushobora kwibaza uti ‘ese aho umuhungu wanjye cyangwa umukobwa wanjye, ntiyaba afitanye ubucuti n’undi muntu ntabizi?’ Reba icyo bamwe mu rubyiruko bavuze ku birebana n’impamvu bamwe bahitamo kugirana ubucuti mu ibanga, hanyuma usuzume n’ibibazo bibiherekeje.

“Abana bamwe baba bumva batitaweho cyane mu rugo, bagahitamo gushaka incuti y’umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa.”—Wendy.

Mubyeyi, wakora iki kugira ngo abana bawe bumve rwose ko bitaweho? Ese hari ibyo warushaho kunonosora? Niba bihari se ni ibihe?

“Igihe nari mfite imyaka 14, umuhungu twandikiranaga yansabye ko twaba incuti. Naramwemereye. Numvaga nishimiye kugira umuhungu uzajya umfata ku rutugu.”—Diane.

Diane aramutse ari umukobwa wawe, wakora iki?

“Telefoni zigendanwa zirafasha cyane mu kugirana ubucuti bwo mu ibanga. Ababyeyi ntibarabukwa!”—Annette.

Ni iki ukwiriye kwitondera ku birebana n’uburyo abana bawe bakoresha telefoni zigendanwa?

“Gucudika n’umuntu mu ibanga biroroha, iyo ababyeyi badakurikiranira hafi ibyo abana babo bakora n’abo baba bari kumwe.”—Thomas.

Ese hari icyo wakora kugira ngo umenye neza uko umwana wawe ugeze mu mabyiruka abayeho, ariko nanone bitagusabye kumuvutsa umudendezo akwiriye?

“Akenshi iyo abana bari mu rugo, ababyeyi bo baba badahari. Cyangwa ugasanga bizera abana babo cyane, bakabareka bakagira aho bajya bajyanye n’abandi bantu.”—Nicholas.

Ese uzi incuti magara y’umwana wawe? Ese mu by’ukuri uzi ibyo bakora iyo bari kumwe?

“Iyo ababyeyi bakagatiza, bishobora gutuma abana bacudika mu ibanga.”—Paul.

Utarengereye amategeko n’amahame yo muri Bibiliya, wakora iki kugira ngo ‘gushyira mu gaciro kwawe kumenywe n’abantu bose’?—Abafilipi 4:5.

“Nkiri umwangavu, numvaga nisuzuguye kandi nifuzaga cyane ko nakwitabwaho. Natangiye koherereza ubutumwa bwo kuri interineti umuhungu wo mu itorero ryari ryegeranye n’iryacu, ntangira no kumukunda. Yatumaga numva nkunzwe cyane.”—Linda.

Ese hari uburyo bwiza bwari gukoreshwa kugira ngo Linda yumve yitaweho n’abo mu rugo?

Byaba byiza wifashishije Igice cya 2 mu Mubumbe wa 2 cyangwa wifashishije Umugereka, ukaganira n’umwana wawe. Uburyo bwiza bwo kwirinda ko umwana wawe acudika n’undi mu ibanga, ni ukuganira na we nta cyo mukinganye kandi mukabwirana ibiri ku mutima.—Imigani 20:5.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 1-3

IBYIYUMVO

Nakora iki mu gihe umwana wanjye avuze ko aziyahura?

Mu duce tumwe na tumwe tw’isi, kuba abakiri bato bakunze kwiyahura ni ikibazo giteye inkeke. Urugero nko muri Amerika, kwiyahura ni yo mpamvu ya gatatu ihitana abenshi mu rubyiruko rufite hagati y’imyaka 15 na 25. Mu myaka makumyabiri ishize, umubare w’abana bafite hagati y’imyaka 10 na 14 biyahura wikubye kabiri. Abakunze kwiyahura cyane ni abafite ibibazo by’uburwayi bwo mu mutwe, abafite umuntu wo mu muryango wabo wiyahuye, n’abigeze kugerageza kwiyahura. Dore bimwe mu bimenyetso bishobora kugaragaza ko umwana atekereza kwiyahura:

● Kwitandukanya n’abagize umuryango n’incuti

● Kudakunda kurya no kubura ibitotsi

● Kudashishikarira gukora ibintu byajyaga bimushimisha

● Guhindura mu buryo bugaragara uko yitwaraga

● Kunywa ibiyobyabwenge n’inzoga nyinshi

● Gutanga ibintu by’agaciro yari afite

● Kuvuga ibirebana n’urupfu cyangwa guhangayikishwa n’ingingo zifitanye isano na rwo.

Rimwe mu makosa akomeye cyane umubyeyi ashobora gukora, ni ukwirengagiza ibyo bimenyetso. Ibyo bimenyetso ujye ubifatana uburemere cyane. Ntugapfe kumva ko umwana wawe ari cyo kigero agezemo, ko bizashira.

Ikindi nanone, ntugaterwe isoni no gushaka umuntu wafasha umwana wawe mu gihe yaba afite ikibazo gikomeye cyo guhungabana cyangwa ubundi burwayi bwo mu mutwe. Niba ukeka ko umwana wawe ashaka kwiyahura, bimubaze. Abavuga ko kuganiriza umwana umubaza niba aziyahura bizamutera inkunga yo kwiyahura, ni ibinyoma. Abenshi mu bakiri bato bumva baruhutse iyo ababyeyi babaganirije kuri iyo ngingo. Niba umwana wawe akwemereye ko afite igitekerezo cyo kwiyahura, musobanuze neza umenye uko yumva azabigenza. Uko uzamenya byinshi ku buryo yumva yakwiyahura, ni byo bizagufasha kugira icyo ukora udatindiganyije.

Ntukumve ko ikibazo afite cyo guhungabana kizikiza. Nubwo cyasa n’aho gishize, ntukumve ko gikemutse. Ahubwo ibyo ni byo bishobora kuba bibi cyane. Kubera iki? Ni uko iyo umwana agifite ikibazo gikomeye cy’ihungabana, ashobora kutagira imbaraga zo gushyira mu bikorwa ibyo bitekerezo byo kwiyahura. Ariko iyo iryo hungabana rigabanutse akongera gutora agatege, umwana ashobora kugira imbaraga n’ubushake bwo kwiyahura.

Nanone biteye agahinda kuba hari bamwe mu bakiri bato bagira ikibazo cy’ihungabana bagatekereza kwiyahura. Iyo ababyeyi cyangwa abandi bantu bakuru bita ku bana bitaye kuri ibyo bimenyetso kandi bakagira icyo bakora, bashobora ‘guhumuriza abihebye’ kandi bakabera ubuhungiro abakiri bato.—1 Abatesalonike 5:14.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 13 N’ICYA 14, N’UMUBUMBE WA 2, KU GICE CYA 26

Ese nagombye guhisha abana banjye ko mfite agahinda?

Gupfusha uwo mwashakanye bitera agahinda kenshi. Icyakora, hari igihe umuhungu wawe ugeze mu mabyiruka aba akeneye ko umufasha. Wamufashe ute kwihanganira agahinda afite, utirengagije akawe?d Gerageza ibi bikurikira:

● Irinde guhisha uko wumva umerewe. Amenshi mu masomo y’ingenzi mu buzima umwana wawe azi, ni wowe yayigiyeho akwitegereza. Nanone azareba uko wihangana iyo ufite agahinda. Ubwo rero, ntukibwire ko ukwiriye kwikomeza ngo uhishe umwana wawe agahinda ufite. Nta kindi byamara uretse gutuma na we abigenza atyo. Aho kubigenza utyo, iyo ugaragaje agahinda ufite, amenya ko ibyiza ari ukugaragaza uko umuntu yiyumva aho kubipfukirana, kandi ko kumva ubabaye, ucitse intege cyangwa ukarakara, ari ibintu bisanzwe.

● Jya ushishikariza umwana wawe kuvuga. Bwira umwana wawe akubwire ibimuri ku mutima, ariko ntumuhate. Niba ubona atabishaka cyangwa agononwa, kuki mutaganira ibivugwa mu gice cya 16? Nanone, mwibukiranye ibintu byiza mwibuka ku wo mwari mwarashakanye. Menya ko kubyihanganira bitazakorohera. Ariko umwana wawe niyumva ugaragaza agahinda ufite, na we bizamufasha kubigenza atyo.

● Zirikana ko hari ibyo udashoboye. Mu by’ukuri ushobora kuba wifuza gufasha umwana wawe muri ibyo bihe bitoroshye. Icyakora zirikana ko kuba warapfushije uwo mwashakanye byakugizeho ingaruka. Ubwo rero, bishobora gutuma umara igihe runaka wumva waracitse intege mu byiyumvo, mu bwenge no mu mubiri (Imigani 24:10). Hari n’igihe ushobora guhamagara umwe muri bene wanyu ukuze cyangwa indi incuti ikuze kugira ngo igufashe. Gusaba ko hagira undi muntu ugufasha na byo bigaragaza ko ukuze. Mu Migani 11:2 havuga ko “ubwenge bufitwe n’abiyoroshya.”

Yehova Imana ni we ushobora kugufasha kurusha abandi bose, kuko abwira abamusenga ati “jyewe Yehova Imana yawe ngufashe ukuboko kw’iburyo, ni jye ukubwira nti ‘witinya. Jye ubwanjye nzagutabara.’”—Yesaya 41:13.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 16

Nafasha nte umukobwa wanjye gushyira mu gaciro mu birebana n’imirire?

Wakora iki mu gihe umukobwa wawe afite ikibazo cyo kutarya?e Mbere na mbere, gerageza kumenya impamvu ibimutera.

Byaragaragaye ko abenshi mu bantu bafite ikibazo cyo kutarya, baba basanzwe bisuzugura kandi bitega kugera ku bintu birenze ubushobozi bwabo. Reba neza ko utaba ubigiramo uruhare, kandi ufashe uwo mukobwa wawe.—1 Abatesalonike 5:11.

Nanone suzuma uko ubona ibyokurya n’uko ubona ibiro ufite. Ese waba wibanda cyane ku byo urya no ku biro ufite, mu magambo uvuga cyangwa mu byo ukora, nubwo waba utabizi? Jya uzirikana ko urubyiruko ruhangayikishwa cyane n’uko rugaragara. Ndetse no kumuserereza kubera umubyibuho abana bageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka baba bafite, ubwabyo bishobora kumutera guhangayika.

Numara gutekereza kuri icyo kibazo witonze kandi ukabishyira mu isengesho, kiganireho n’umukobwa wawe. Dore icyagufasha kubigeraho:

● Tegura ibyo uzamubwira n’igihe uzabimubwirira.

● Musobanurire neza impungenge ufite n’icyifuzo ufite cyo kumufasha.

● Ntuzatangare nubona mu mizo ya mbere atabyishimiye.

● Mutege amatwi wihanganye.

Icy’ingenzi kurushaho, fasha umukobwa wawe gusubira ku murongo. Mwe abagize umuryango, mumufashe kongera gusubira mu buzima yari asanganywe.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 10, N’UMUBUMBE WA 2 IGICE CYA 7

GUKORERA IMANA

Ko abana banjye bamaze kuba ingimbi n’abangavu, nabafasha nte gukomeza kubona ko gukorera Imana bifite agaciro?

Bibiliya ivuga ko Timoteyo yatangiye gutozwa gukorera Imana “uhereye mu bwana,” kandi kubera ko uri umubyeyi, nawe ushobora kubigenzereza utyo abana bawe (2 Timoteyo 3:15). Icyakora iyo abana bawe bamaze kuba ingimbi cyangwa abangavu, bishobora kuba ngombwa guhindura uburyo wakoreshaga ubigisha, ugahuza n’imimerere. Kubera ko abana bawe barimo bakura, batangiye gusobanukirwa ibibazo bikomeye batashoboraga kumva neza igihe bari bakiri bato. Ubu rero, ni cyo gihe cyo gukoresha ‘ubushobozi bwabo bwo gutekereza.’—Abaroma 12:1.

Igihe Pawulo yandikiraga Timoteyo, yavuze ibintu Timoteyo ‘yize kandi akabyemera’ (2 Timoteyo 3:14). Ubu abana bawe bashobora kuba bakeneye ko ubafasha ‘kwemera’ ukuri ko muri Bibiliya bamenye uhereye mu bwana bwabo. Kugira ngo ubagere ku mutima, ni ngombwa ko ukora ibirenze kubabwira icyo bakora n’ibyo bakwiriye kwemera. Bagomba kubyimenyera ubwabo. Wabafasha ute? Tangira ubereka uburyo bwo gutekereza no kuganira ku bibazo nk’ibi bikurikira:

● Ni iki kinyemeza ko Imana ibaho?—Abaroma 1:20.

● Nabwirwa n’iki ko ibyo ababyeyi banjye banyigisha bivuye muri Bibiliya ari ukuri?—Ibyakozwe 17:11.

● Nakwemezwa n’iki ko amahame yo muri Bibiliya amfitiye akamaro?—Yesaya 48:17, 18.

● Nabwirwa n’iki ko ubuhanuzi bwo muri Bibiliya buzasohora?—Yosuwa 23:14.

● Ni iki kinyemeza ko nta kindi kintu muri iyi si cyagereranywa n’“agaciro gahebuje k’ubumenyi bwerekeye Kristo Yesu”?—Abafilipi 3:8.

● Igitambo cya Yesu kimfitiye akahe kamaro?—2 Abakorinto 5:14, 15; Abagalatiya 2:20.

Hari igihe wakwanga ko abana bawe batekereza kuri ibyo bibazo, utinya ko badashobora kubisubiza. Ariko ibyo byaba ari nko kwanga kureba ku rushinge rwo mu modoka rugaragaza aho lisansi igeze, utinya ko wasanga yashize. Niba ari uko bimeze, byarushaho kuba byiza ushatse icyo ubikoraho. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, ubu abana bawe bakiba mu rugo, ni cyo gihe cyo kubafasha gutekereza ku bibazo bijyanye n’ukwizera kugira ngo ‘babyemere’.f

Ujye wibuka ko atari bibi kuba umwana wawe yakubaza ati “kuki nkwiriye kwizera ibyo unyigisha?” Umukobwa witwa Diane ufite imyaka 22, yibuka ko nawe ari ko yabigenje akiri muto. Yaravuze ati “sinifuzaga gushidikanya ku byo nizera. Gutekereza ku bisubizo bifatika kandi byumvikana, byamfashije kubona ko nari nishimiye kuba Umuhamya wa Yehova! Iyo hagiraga umbaza impamvu ntakora ikintu runaka, aho kugira ngo musubize ngo ‘idini ryacu ntiribyemera,’ naramusubizaga nti ‘jye numva kugikora atari byiza.’ Mu yandi magambo, ibyo Bibiliya yigisha nabisobanuraga mu magambo yanjye.”

Inama: Kugira ngo umenye ubushobozi umwana wawe afite bwo gutekereza ashingiye ku mahame yo muri Bibiliya, nihavuka ikibazo runaka, musabe kwishyira mu mwanya w’umubyeyi. Urugero, reka tuvuge ko umukobwa wawe agusabye uruhushya rwo kujya mu munsi mukuru ubona ko udakwiriye (kandi na we akaba ashobora kuba abizi). Aho guhita umuhakanira, ushobora wenda nko kumubwira uti ‘nifuzaga ko wakwishyira mu mwanya wanjye. Tekereza uwo munsi mukuru ushaka kujyamo, ukore ubushakashatsi (wenda nko mu gice cya 37 cy’iki gitabo n’igice cya 32 mu Mubumbe wa 2), hanyuma ejo uzagaruke tubiganireho. Nzajya mu mwanya wawe nawe ujye mu mwanya wanjye. Hanyuma kuko ari wowe uzaba uri umubyeyi, ubwo uzambwira niba cyaba ari igitekerezo cyiza cyangwa niba kidakwiriye.’

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1 IGICE CYA 38, N’UMUBUMBE WA 2 IGICE CYA 34-36

Nkore iki ko umwana wanjye atagishishikajwe n’iby’Imana?

Mbere na mbere, ntugahite wumva ko umwana wawe yanze idini ryawe. Incuro nyinshi, usanga hari impamvu zibitera. Urugero, birashoboka ko umwana wawe:

● Ahanganye n’amoshya y’urungano, akaba agira ipfunwe ryo kuba atandukanye n’abandi kuko agendera ku mahame yo muri Bibiliya

● Abona abo mu rungano rwe (wenda n’abo bava inda imwe) ari Abakristo b’intangarugero, akumva atashobora kugera ku byo bagezeho

● Yifuza cyane kugira incuti, ariko akumva yigunze cyangwa atisanzuye iyo ari kumwe n’abandi Bakristo bagenzi be

● Abona abo mu kigero cye bitwa ko ari Abakristo, bafite imibereho y’amaharakubiri

● Arimo agerageza kugira umurongo agenderaho, bityo bigatuma yumva agomba kongera gusuzuma amahame wowe wumva ko afite agaciro cyane

● Abona abanyeshuri bigana bishora mu bikorwa bibi kandi bigasa nk’aho nta cyo bibatwara

● Ashaka kwemerwa n’umwe mu babyeyi utizera

Nk’uko bigaragara, impamvu nk’izi nta ho zihuriye no gushidikanya ku byo wizera. Ubu ashobora kuba afite ibintu byinshi ahanganye na byo, bituma kuba Umukristo bimugora. None se wakora iki kugira ngo ufashe umwana wawe?

Gira ibyo umwemerera ariko utarengereye inshingano yawe. Gerageza kwiyumvisha ibyaba bituma umwana wawe acika intege, kandi ugire ibyo uhindura kugira ngo umwana wawe abone uko atera imbere mu buryo bw’umwuka (Imigani 16:20). Urugero, ingingo ifite umutwe uvuga ngo “Irinde amoshya y’urungano,” iri ku ipaji ya 132 n’iya 133 mu Mubumbe wa 2 w’iki gitabo, ishobora gufasha umwana wawe kwigirira icyizere ntakomeze gutinya ibibazo ashobora gutezwa n’abo bigana. Icyakora niba umwana wawe yumva ko ari wenyine, ushobora kugira uruhare rugaragara mu kumufasha kubona incuti nziza.

Mushakire umujyanama. Iyo abakiri bato bafashijwe n’umuntu mukuru utari uwo mu muryango wabo, bibatera inkunga. Ese hari umuntu waba uzi ukuze mu buryo bw’umwuka, ushobora gufasha umwana wawe? Kuki se utagira icyo ukora kugira ngo amarane igihe n’umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wawe? Intego yawe si ukwihunza inshingano yawe. Tekereza nanone ku rugero rwa Timoteyo. Yafashijwe cyane n’urugero Pawulo yamusigiye, kandi Pawulo na we aterwa inkunga no kuba Timoteyo yaramubaga hafi.—Abafilipi 2:20, 22.

Igihe cyose umwana wawe akiba iwawe, ufite uburenganzira bwo kumusaba kugendera kuri gahunda y’iby’umwuka y’umuryango wanyu. Intego yawe ni ugutoza umwana wawe gukunda Imana abikuye ku mutima, aho kugira ngo abikore bitewe n’uko ubimutegetse gusa. Kugira ngo ufashe umwana wawe gusenga Imana mu buryo yemera, muhe urugero rwiza akwiriye kwigana. Ukwiriye kumwitegaho ibintu bishyize mu gaciro. Mubwire abo akwiriye gufatiraho urugero hamwe n’incuti nziza. Wenda igihe kizagera umwana wawe avuge nk’umwanditsi wa zaburi ati “Yehova ni igitare cyanjye n’igihome cyanjye kandi ni we Mukiza wanjye.”—Zaburi 18:2.

REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 39, N’UMUBUMBE WA 2, IGICE CYA 37 NA 38

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]