Igice cya 8
Uruhare Rwanyu Babyeyi
1-3. (a) Ni iyihe ngaruka kuvuka k’umwana bishobora kugira ku babyeyi? (b) Ni kuki ari iby’ingenzi ko se na nyina b’umwana basobanukirwa neza iby’iyo nshingano yabo yo kuba ababyeyi?
MU BUZIMA hari ibintu byinshi bitugiraho ingaruka mu rugero ruto cyane. Hari n’ibindi bitugiraho ingaruka ikomeye kandi y’igihe kirekire. Biragaragara ko kuvuka k’umwana ari kimwe muri ibyo. Imibereho y’umugabo n’umugore ntikomeza kumera nk’uko yari isanzwe. N’ubwo aba ari muto cyane, uwo muntu mushya muri urwo rugo ntiyihishira, yifashisha ijwi rye mu kumvikanisha ukuhaba kwe.
2 Ubwo buzima bw’ababyeyi bwagombye kurangwamo ibyiza byinshi kandi bishimishije kurushaho. Icyakora, usanga burimo ibibazo biba bigomba gukemurwa n’abayeyi bombi kugira ngo bubashe kugira ingaruka nziza cyane. Nk’uko biba byarasabye ko muba babiri kugira ngo mubashe kubyara uwo mwana; ni na ko mwembi muba mugomba gushyira hamwe muri byose kugira ngo mugire uruhare rwiza mu mikurire y’umwana wanyu kuva akivuka, no gukomeza. Icyo ni cyo gihe haba hakenewe ubufatanye buzira uburyarya, buvuye ku mutima—kandi burangwamo kwicisha bugufi—kurusha ikindi gihe icyo ari cyo cyose.
3 Gusobanukirwa inshingano ya buri mubyeyi n’ukuntu izo nshingano zakuzuzanya bishobora gufasha cyane mu bihereranye no guhaza ibyo umwana wanyu akeneye, ari na byo bishobora gutanga ingaruka nziza. Gushyira mu gaciro ni ngombwa. N’ubwo twihatira gukora ibintu bihuje n’ubwenge, akenshi ibyiyumvo byacu bishobora kutubera imbogamizi mu bihereranye no gushyira mu gaciro. Dushobora gusa n’abakabya cyane, tukava mu byoroheje cyane tujya mu bikomeye cyane, hanyuma tukongera kugaruka muri bya bindi byoroheje cyane nanone. Byaba byiza se w’umwana akoresheje ubutware bwe, ariko iyo arengereye aba arimo atwaza igitugu. Ni byiza ko nyina w’umwana agira uruhare mu burere bw’abana no mu kubacyaha, ariko si byiza ko yakwikubira izo nshingano ngo ashyire se w’abana iruhande kuko bimunga umuryango. Ikintu cyiza kiba ari cyiza koko, ariko iyo hajemo agakabyo, gishobora guhinduka kibi.—Abafilipi 4:5.
INSHINGANO Y’IBANZE YA NYINA W’UMWANA
4. Ni ibihe bintu bimwe uruhinja rukenera kuri nyina?
4 Uruhinja ruba rukeneye nyina muri byose ku bihereranye n’ibyo rukenera. Iyo ibyo bikozwe mu buryo bwuje urukundo, uruhinja rwumva rufite umutekano (Zaburi 22:9, 10). Rugomba kugaburirwa neza rukagirirwa isuku kandi rugafubikwa neza; icyakora kuruha ibyo rukeneye mu buryo bw’umubiri ntibihagije. Ibyo ruba rukeneye mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo na byo biba ari ngombwa nk’ibyo. Iyo uruhinja rutagaragarijwe urukundo, rwumva nta mutekano rufite. Mu gihe cy’iminsi mike, nyina w’uruhinja aba agomba kwiga kujya amenya gusobanukirwa neza ibyo uruhinja rukeneye koko mu gihe rusaba kwitabwaho. Ariko iyo rukomeje kujya rurira ntihagire urwitaho, amaherezo rushobora kurwara. Ruramutse rutagaragarijwe urukundo mu gihe runaka, rushobora kudindira mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo mu buzima bwarwo bwose.
5-7. Dukurikije ubushakashatsi bwa vuba aha, ni mu buryo ki uruhinja rugerwaho n’ingaruka y’urukundo nyina arufitiye n’ukuntu arwitaho?
5 Iperereza ryakorewe ahantu henshi hanyuranye ryagaragaje ibi bikurikira: Impinja zirarwara ndetse zigapfa iyo zitagaragarijwe urukundo mu kuzivugisha utuntu, kuzikorakora, kuzikuyakuya, no kuzicigatira. (Gereranya na Yesaya 66:12; 1 Abatesalonike 2:7.) N’ubwo abandi babirukorera, ariko nyina uba wararwibarutse agatuma rubaho, kandi akaba yarahereye kera mu mezi ya mbere y’ubuzima bwarwo arugaburira, birumvikana cyane rwose ko nta wundi ushobora kubikora neza kumurusha. Hari imishyikirano ihuje na kamere hagati y’umwana na nyina. Icyifuzo cye cya kamere cyo kumva ashaka guhita yiyegereza uruhinja amaze kubyara, gihuje na kamere uruhinja ruvukana yo guhita rushakisha ibere rye.
6 Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko ubwonko bw’uruhinja bukora cyane kandi ko imikurire y’ubwenge iba myiza iyo hagize igiteza imbere ubushobozi bwarwo bwo gukorakora, kumva, kubona no guhumurirwa. Iyo uruhinja rurimo rwonka, rwumva ubushyuhe n’impumuro by’uruhu rwa nyina. Hafi buri gihe ruba rureba mu maso ya nyina iyo arimo arwonsa. Nta bwo rwumva gusa ijwi rye iyo avuga cyangwa aruririmbira, ahubwo rwumva n’ukuntu umutima we utera, dore ko ruba rwarajyaga ruwumva na mbere y’aho rukiri mu nda ya nyina. Hari umuhanga umwe mu bihereranye n’ibya kamere z’abana witwa Anne-Marit Duve wanditse mu gitabo kimwe cyo muri Noruveji agira ati
“Kubera ko imikorere y’imboni z’amaso igaragaza neza urugero ubwonko bukoramo, dufite impamvu yo kwemera ko gukabura umubiri cyane, kwitsiritanaho—kabone n’iyo byaba ari mu gihe cyo konsa—bishobora gukangura imikorere y’ubwenge, ku buryo bishobora no kuzakomeza gutsura amajyambere y’ubwenge bwe kera amaze kuba mukuru.”
7 Ku bw’ibyo rero, iyo uruhinja rugiye rwumva incuro nyinshi nyina arukorakora nk’igihe aruterura, arucigatira cyangwa arwuhagira no kuruhanagura, ibyo bintu biba bisa n’ibirukangura bigira uruhare rukomeye mu mikurire yarwo no mu miterere y’imibereho yarwo y’igihe kizaza. N’ubwo kubyuka n’ijoro uhoza umwana urimo urira bishobora kuba bidashimishije cyane, kuba uzi inyungu ibyo bishobora kubyara nyuma y’aho, byakwibagiza ibitotsi byawe uba watakaje.
GUKUNDWA BYIGISHA GUKUNDA
8-10. (a) Ni iki umwana yigira mu rukundo nyina amukunda? (b) Ni kuki ibyo ari iby’ingenzi?
8 Ni ngombwa cyane ko uruhinja rukundwa kugira ngo ibyiyumvo byarwo byo gukunda na byo bikure. Yigira urukundo mu gukundwa, mu kugaragarizwa ingero z’urukundo. Muri 1 Yohana 4:19 havuga iby’urukundo dukunda Imana muri aya magambo ngo “turayikunda, kuko ari yo yabanje kudukunda.” Amasomo y’ibanze y’urukundo atangwa cyane cyane na nyina w’umwana. Mu gihe nyina w’umwana yunama hejuru y’agatanda ke, agashyira ikiganza cye ku gatuza k’umwana maze akakanyeganyeza buhoro buhoro, agahuza mu maso he n’ah’umwana agira ati ‘ndakuruzi! Ndakuruzi!’ Mu by’ukuri nta bwo urwo ruhinja ruba ruzi ayo magambo (na yo ubwayo kandi nta cyo aba asobanuye koko). Ariko uruhinja rurigaranzura rugasakuza kubera ibyishimo, kuko ruba rwumva ko icyo kiganza cye kirukinisha n’iryo jwi riruvugisha ari nk’aho byakarubwiye biti ‘ndagukunda! Ndagukunda!’ Ibyo biraruhumuriza cyane maze rukumva rufite umutekano.
9 Impinja n’abana bato bagaragarizwa urukundo barabishima, kandi bigana urwo rukundo barushyira mu bikorwa, bagotesha utuboko twabo duto ijosi rya ba nyina maze bakabasomagura cyane mu buryo bw’igishyuhirane. Ingaruka iba iy’uko izo mpinja zishimishwa cyane n’ukuntu ba nyina bitabira urwo rukundo rwazo mu buryo bw’igishyuhirane. Batangira kwiga isomo ry’ingenzi ry’uko hari umunezero mu gutanga urukundo no mu kuruhabwa, ko iyo zibibye urukundo na zo zirusarura (Ibyakozwe 20:35; Luka 6:38). Hari gihamya cyerekana ko iyo bidashobotse ko umwana akunda nyina cyane mbere y’igihe, birashoboka ko na nyuma y’aho adashobora kugira undi muntu akunda cyangwa se ngo amwishyikireho cyane.
10 Kubera ko abana bahita batangira kwiga bakivuka, iyo myaka ya mbere ibanza ni yo y’ingenzi cyane. Muri iyo myaka urukundo rwa nyina w’umwana ruba rukenewe cyane. Aramutse ashoboye kurugaragariza umwana we no kurumwigisha—atamutetesheje—icyo cyaba ari igikorwa cyiza gishobora kuzaramba igihe kirekire; aramutse abinaniwe na bwo, yaba akoze igikorwa kibi gishobora kuzaramba igihe kirekire. Kuba nyina mwiza w’umwana ni umwe mu mirimo ikomeye kandi igororerwa cyane kurusha indi mirimo yose umugore ashobora gukora. N’ubwo uwo murimo ugoranye kandi ukaba uruhije se, ni uwuhe “mwuga” wundi mu isi ushobora kugereranywa na wo ku bihereranye n’agaciro kawo n’ukuntu utanga ibyishimo birambye by’igihe kirekire?
INSHINGANO Y’INGENZI YA SE W’UMWANA
11. (a) Ni gute se w’umwana ashobora kujya mu bwenge bw’umwana? (b) Ni kuki ibyo ari iby’ingenzi cyane?
11 Birumvikana ko mu minsi ya mbere nyina w’umwana agira uruhare runini cyane mu buzima bw’umwana. Ariko kuva igihe uruhinja rumaze kuvuka na nyuma y’aho, se w’umwana na we agomba kugira uruhare muri iyo nshingano yo kurwitaho. Ndetse n’ubwo umwana yaba akiri uruhinja ruto cyane, se ashobora, kandi yagombye kubigiramo uruhare, wenda nko mu kurwitaho rimwe na rimwe, gukina na rwo, no kuruhoza nk’igihe rurize. Muri ubwo buryo, se ajya mu bwenge bw’umwana. Uko igihe kigenda gihita, uruhare rwa se w’umwana rwagombye kugenda rurushaho gukura kurusha urwa nyina. Aramutse atinze guhita abitangira, hashobora wenda kuvuka ikibazo gikunda kuboneka cyane cyane iyo umwana abaye ingimbi maze kumucyaha bikarushaho kugorana. Umuhungu w’ingimbi ashobora gukenera ubufasha bwa se mu buryo bwihariye. Ariko niba hagati yabo hatarashyizweho imishyikirano myiza mbere y’igihe, icyo cyuho kiba kimaze imyaka n’imyaka hagati yabo ntigishobora gupfa kuzibwa mu gihe cy’ibyumweru bike gusa.
12, 13. (a) Inshingano ya se w’umwana mu muryango ni iyihe? (b) Ni gute kuba se w’umwana yuzuza inshingano ye uko bikwiriye bishobora kugaragarira ku myifatire abana be bazagira nyuma y’aho ku bihereranye n’ubutware?
12 Umwana yaba umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa, imico ya kigabo ya se ishobora kumufasha kugira imikurire ya kamere yuzuye, ihamye. Ijambo ry’Imana rigaragaza ko se w’umwana ari we mutware w’umuryango. Ashinzwe guha abo mu rugo rwe ibyo bakeneye byo mu buryo bw’umubiri (1 Abakorinto 11:3; 1 Timoteyo 5:8). Ibyo ari byo byose, ‘umuntu ntatungwa n’umutsima gusa, ahubwo amagambo yose ava mu kanwa k’Uwiteka ni yo amutunga.’ Ku bihereranye n’abana, se ategekwa ‘kubarera, babahana babigisha iby’Umwami wacu’ (Gutegeka 8:3; Abefeso 6:4). N’ubwo aba agomba gukurikiza urukundo akunda abana be mu buryo busanzwe, ariko ikiruta byose ni uko yakwiyumvisha inshingano afite imbere y’Umuremyi we, akaba ari byo bimuhata gusohoza neza iyo nshingano yashinzwe n’Imana.
13 Usibye igishyuhirane, ubugwaneza n’impuhwe nyina w’umwana agaragaza, se na we ashobora kugaragaza imbaraga n’ubutware bushyira mu gaciro maze bikaba byatuma mu muryango harangwamo amakamirane. Uburyo afata uwo murimo yahawe n’Imana bishobora kugaragarira ku myifatire abana be bazagira nyuma y’aho ku bihereranye n’ubutware, ari ubw’abantu cyangwa se ubw’Imana, mu buryo babugandukira n’ukuntu bitabira kugira umurimo uhagarariwe n’undi muntu bakora batijujuta cyangwa se ngo bigomeke.
14. Ni iyihe ngaruka urugero rwiza rwa se w’umwana rushobora kugira ku muhungu we cyangwa ku mukobwa we?
14 Niba afite umwana w’umuhungu, urugero se w’umwana atanga n’ukuntu akemura ibibazo, bishobora kugira uruhare runini mu kugena niba uwo muhungu azavamo umuntu udashyitse, udashobora gufata ibyemezo, cyangwa niba azaba afite ibitekerezo bya kigabo, ahamye, agaragaza umurava mu byo yemera kandi afite ubushake bwo gusohoza inshingano ze. Bishobora kugaragaza uko uwo muhungu azaba ateye amaze kuba umugabo cyangwa se amaze kuba se w’abana—niba azaba ari umuntu utava ku izima, udatekereza, igikabuke, cyangwa se niba azaba ari umuntu ushyira mu gaciro, ushishoza kandi ugwa neza. Niba hari umwana w’umukobwa mu muryango, ubuyobozi se amuha n’imishyikirano bafitanye bishobora kuzagira ingaruka ku kuntu azajya abona abantu bose b’igitsina gabo kandi bikazamufasha, biti ihi se bikazamubuza kugira urugo ruhire. Ingaruka z’urwo ruhare rwa se w’umwana zitangira mu bwana.
15, 16. (a) Ni iyihe nshingano yo kwigisha Bibiliya iha se w’umwana? (b) Ishobora gusohozwa ite?
15 Uburemere bw’inshingano ya se w’umwana yo kwigisha, busobanurwa mu mabwiriza Imana yahaye ubwoko bwayo mu Gutegeka 6:6, 7 ngo “aya mategeko ngutegeka uyu munsi, ahore ku mutima wawe; ujye ugira umwete wo kuyigisha abana bawe, ujye uyavuga wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’uko ugenda mu nzira, n’uko uryamye, n’uko ubyutse.”
16 Nta bwo ari amagambo gusa aboneka mu Ijambo ry’Imana, ahubwo n’ubutumwa bukubiyemo na bwo bugomba gutsindagirizwa mu bwenge bw’umwana buri munsi. Uburyo bwo kubikora buba buhari buri gihe. Indabo mu busitani, udukoko duto mu kirere, inyoni cyangwa inkima mu biti, amasimbi ku nkombe z’amazi magari, imbuto z’umubunda (pinusi) mu misozi, inyenyeri zirabagirana mu kirere nijoro—ibyo byiza byose bivuga ku bihereranye n’Umuremyi kandi ushobora gusobanurira abana bawe icyo bivuga. Umwanditsi wa Zaburi aragira ati “ijuru rivuga icyubahiro cy’Imana, isanzure ryerekana imirimo y’intoke zayo. Amanywa abwira andi manywa ibyayo, ijoro ribimenyesha irindi joro” (Zaburi 19:2, 3 [Zaburi 19:1, 2 muri Bibiliya Yera]). Se w’umwana aramutse agize ubushishozi bwo gukoresha ibyo bintu, cyane cyane agakura ingero mu bintu byo mu buzima bwa buri munsi, agatsindagiriza amahame nyakuri, akerekana n’ubwenge biboneka mu nama z’Imana, ashobora kubaka mu bwenge no mu mutima by’umwana we urufatiro rw’ingenzi rw’igihe kizaza, ari rwo rwo kutizera gusa ko Imana iriho, ahubwo ko ‘inagororera abayishaka.’—Abaheburayo 11:6.
17, 18. (a) Ni mu buhe buryo se w’abana yagombye kubacyaha? (b) Ni iki gishobora kurushaho kugira ingaruka nziza kurusha gushyiraho amategeko menshi?
17 Gucyaha na byo ni kimwe mu nshingano za se w’umwana. Mu Baheburayo 12:7 harabaza ngo “mbese ni mwana ki udahanwa na se?” Ariko agomba kubikora ashyira mu gaciro, ntagomba kurengera mu guhana kugeza aho arakaza abana cyangwa se ngo abashyireho urutoto rw’urudaca. Ijambo ry’Imana ribwira ba se b’abana riti “ntimukarakaze abana banyu, batazinukwa” (Abakolosayi 3:21). Kugira ibyo abana babuzwa ni ngombwa, ariko rimwe na rimwe hari ubwo dushobora kubikabyamo tukongera amategeko kugeza aho abera abana umutwaro kandi akanabaca intege.
18 Abafarisayo bo mu gihe cya kera barakabyaga cyane mu gukunda amategeko; barayarundanyaga akangana n’imisozi maze biza gutuma bagwiramo indyarya nyinshi. Birasanzwe ko umuntu yibeshya agatekereza ko ibibazo bishobora gukemurwa gusa no kurundanya amategeko menshi y’urudaca; ariko byakunze kugaragara mu buzima ko kugera ku mutima ari rwo rufunguzo nyakuri. Bityo rero, shyiraho amategeko agereranyije; gerageza kumwinjizamo amategeko, ukurikije uburyo Imana ubwayo ijya ibyifatamo, ari na yo yagize iti “nzashyira amategeko yanjye mu bwenge bwabo, nyandike mu mitima yabo.”—Abaheburayo 8:10.
SE NA NYINA B’UMWANA BARAFATANYA
19. Ni iki cyakorwa kugira ngo abantu bagirane imishyikirano ya bugufi mu muryango?
19 Ubusanzwe se w’umwana ni we ushaka ibyo gutunga urugo, ku buryo iyo avuye ku kazi ashobora kuba ananiwe; kandi wenda akaba afite n’indi mirimo agomba gukora. Ariko agomba gushakisha igihe cyo kuba ari kumwe n’umugore we hamwe n’abana be. Agomba kuganira n’umuryango we, agateganya igihe cy’ibiganiro mu muryango, igihe cyo gukora imirimo yo mu muryango, igihe cyo kwishimana no gusohokana n’umuryango. Ibyo bishimangira ubumwe n’ubufatanye mu muryango. Wenda mbere y’uko abana bavuka, umugabo n’umugore we bashobora kuba baramaraga igihe kinini hanze basohokanye. Ariko noneho ubu baramutse bakomeje kujya babigenza batyo, bava aha bajya hariya, wenda bakaba banataha bwije cyane, nta bwo bwaba ari uburyo bwiza bwo gusohoza inshingano zabo z’ababyeyi. Byaba ari uguhemukira urubyaro rwabo cyane. Amaherezo abo babyeyi bashobora kuzariha ikiguzi cyo kwirengagiza ibintu no kudasohoza neza inshingano zabo. Kimwe n’abantu bakuru, abana na bo bamererwa neza kurushaho iyo ubuzima bwabo bushingiye kuri gahunda idahindagurika kandi ihamye; ibyo bigira uruhare mu mimerere myiza y’ubwenge, y’umubiri n’ibyiyumvo. Imihihibikano ya buri munsi yo mu mibereho y’umuryango, ishobora kurangwamo ibintu byinshi byiza cyangwa ibitari byiza, ababyeyi batagombye kugira icyo babikoraho.—Gereranya na Matayo 6:34; Abakolosayi 4:5.
20. Ku bihereranye no gucyaha abana, ni iki ababyeyi bakora kugira ngo bakomeze kuba bunze ubumwe mu mihati yabo?
20 Se na nyina b’umwana bagombye gufatanya mu guhihibikanira abana, kubigisha, kubashyiriraho imipaka batagomba kurenga, kubacyaha no kubakunda. “Inzu, iyo yigabanyije ubwayo, ntibasha kugumaho” (Mariko 3:25). Ababyeyi baba bagize neza barebeye hamwe ibihereranye n’uburere bashaka guha abana babo, ibyo ni byo bishobora gutuma abana babona ko nta cyo ababyeyi bavuguruzanyaho ku bihereranye n’ubwo burere. Baramutse batabigenje batyo, bishobora gutuma abana babona urwaho rwo ‘kubacamo ibice maze bakabitegekera.’ Ni byo koko, hari ubwo umubyeyi ashobora guhubuka cyangwa ku bw’uburakari, akarengera mu gutanga igihano, cyangwa se wenda bikaza kugaragara ko yarenganyije uwo mwana amuha igihano atagikwiriye. Byashoboka ko ababyeyi babiganiraho biherereye maze uwo mubyeyi wagaragaye ko yahubutse akaba yakwihitiramo we ubwe gufata iya mbere yihohora kuri uwo mwana yahannye. Cyangwa igihe icyo kiganiro cyihariye kidashobotse, umubyeyi wumva ko gushyigikira uwo bashakanye byaba ari ugushyigikira amakosa, ashobora wenda kuvuga ati ‘ndumva impamvu urakaye kandi nanjye ari jye narakara koko. Ariko hashobora kuba hari ikintu utazirikanyeho neza, ni uko . . . ,’ maze agasobanura neza ingingo ishobora kuba ititaweho. Ibyo bishobora gutuma habaho umutuzo kandi bitabaye ngombwa kwicamo ibice cyangwa gushyamiranira imbere y’uwo mwana wahawe igihano. Nk’uko uyu mugani wahumetswe ubivuga, “ubwibone butera intonganya gusa; ariko ubwenge bufitwe n’abagirwa inama nziza.”—Imigani 13:10; reba n’Umubwiriza 7:8.
21. Mbese, inshingano yo gucyaha abana ikwiriye guharirwa umubyeyi umwe gusa? Mbese, wasobanura impamvu ari byo cyangwa atari byo?
21 Ibyanditswe bya Giheburayo byerekana ko gucyaha ari inshingano ireba abantu babiri muri aya magambo ngo “mwana wanjye, jya wumva icyo so akwigisha, kandi we kureka icyo nyoko agutegeka.” Ibyanditswe bya Kigiriki na byo byunga muri ayo magambo bigira biti “bana, mujye mwumvira ababyeyi banyu mu Mwami wacu, kuko ari byo bibakwiriye.” Rimwe na rimwe hari ubwo se w’abana yibwira ko inshingano yo gucyaha abana ireba umugore. Hari n’ubwo kandi umugore na we ashobora kubibona mu buryo bunyuranye n’ubwo ntagire icyo abikoraho usibye gukanga umwana witwaye nabi amubwira ati ‘uraba wirebera so nataha!’ Ariko kugira ngo mu muryango harangwemo umunezero kandi buri mubyeyi akundwe kandi yubahwe n’abana, bagomba gufatanya iyo nshingano bose uko ari babiri.—Imigani 1:8; Abefeso 6:1.
22. Ni iki cyagombye kwirindwa igihe cyo guhihibikanira ikibazo ababyeyi basabwe n’umwana wabo, kandi se, kubera iki?
22 Abana bishimira kubona ababyeyi bashyize hamwe muri byose mu bihereranye n’icyo kibazo kandi buri wese afite ubushake bwo gusohoza neza inshingano ye. Niba igihe cyose umwana asabye ikintu yumva se amusubiza ati ‘jya kubaza nyoko,’ cyangwa se niba buri gihe nyina w’umwana ajya aharira se w’umwana ibyemezo, icyo gihe umubyeyi wakumva bibaye gombwa ko asubiza ati “oya” ku cyo yasabwe, ashobora kugaragara mu maso y’umwana nk’aho abaye kidobya. Birumvikana ko hari ubwo se w’umwana ashobora kugira ati ‘yego ushobora gusohoka gato ukajya gukina, ariko ubanze ubaze nyoko igihe ibyokurya bya nimugoroba biri buze gutunganira.’ Cyangwa se hari ubwo rimwe na rimwe, nyina w’umwana ashobora kumva ko n’ubwo icyo umwana amusabye gisa n’aho cyumvikana, ariko ko byaba byiza umugabo we agize icyo abivugaho. Ariko ababyeyi bombi bazitondera kudatera umwana inkunga cyangwa kumwemerera, mu buryo ubwo ari bwo bwose, kubateranya ngo akunde agere ku cyo ashaka. Umugore w’umunyabwenge kandi azirinda gukoresha ubutware bwe asa n’upiganwa, agerageza korohera umwana cyane bikabije kugira ngo umwana ajye amukunda cyane kurusha uko akunda se.
23. Mbese, gufata ibyemezo mu muryango bireba se w’umwana gusa?
23 Mu byukuri mu myanzuro ifatwa mu muryango, buri wese ashobora kugira inzego igitekerezo cye kiba gikwiriye kwitabwaho by’umwihariko. Se w’abana afite inshingano yo gufata imyanzuro ku bibazo bireba imibereho myiza y’umuryango muri rusange, akenshi akaba ayifata yabanje kubiganiraho n’abandi maze akazirikana ibyo bifuza n’ibyo bakunda. Nyina w’abana ashobora gufata imyanzuro irebana n’igikoni n’ibindi bintu bihereranye no kwita ku byo mu rugo (Imigani 31:11, 27). Uko abana bagenda bakura, ni ko bashobora kujya bemererwa kugira ibyemezo bimwe na bimwe bafata bihereranye n’imikino, kwihitiramo imyambaro, cyangwa se n’ibindi bintu bimwe na bimwe bya bwite. Ariko hagomba ubugenzuzi bw’ababyeyi buhagije kugira ngo barebe niba amahame meza yubahirizwa, niba umutekano w’abana utabangamiwe cyangwa se niba hatariho kurengera uburenganzira bw’abandi. Ibyo bishobora guha abana urufatiro rwiza rwo kuzajya bafata imyanzuro ikwiriye.
BABYEYI, MBESE AHO KUBUBAHA BIROROSHYE?
24. Kubera ko abana bagomba kubaha se na nyina, ni iyihe nshingano ababyeyi babo basabwa gusohoza?
24 Abana babwirwa ngo “wubahe so na nyoko” (Abefeso 6:2; Kuva 20:12). Kuri bo kubigenza batyo ni ukubaha itegeko ry’Imana. Mbese, ubiboroherezamo? Mugore, ubwirwa kubaha no kumvira umugabo wawe. Mbese, ntibikugora iyo akora imihati mike cyangwa ntayikore ku bihereranye no gukurikiza ibyo Ijambo ry’Imana rimusaba? Mugabo, ugomba gukundwakaza umugore wawe, ukamwubaha umufata nk’umufasha wawe ukunda. Mbese, ntibyakugora atabigufashijemo? Noneho rero babyeyi, mujye mworohereza abana banyu kumvira itegeko ry’Imana ribasaba kububaha. Mwiheshe icyubahiro mu maso yabo mukora ku buryo urugo rwanyu rurangwamo amahoro, amahame meza, ingero nziza mu myifatire yanyu bwite, inyigisho n’uburere byiza, mubahana mu rukundo igihe ari ngombwa.
25. Ni ibihe bibazo bishobora kuvuka iyo ababyeyi batavuga rumwe ku bihereranye n’uburere bukwiriye guhabwa abana?
25 Umwami Salomo yagize ati “ababiri baruta umwe, kuko babona ibihembo byiza by’imirimo yabo” (Umubwiriza 4:9). Iyo abantu babiri bagendana umwe akagwa, undi aramubyutsa. Ni kimwe rero no mu muryango, umugabo n’umugore bashobora gushyigikirana no guterana inkunga mu nshingano zabo. Mu mpande nyinshi izo nshingano z’ababyeyi zirajyana, ibyo bikaba ari byiza ku bumwe bw’umuryango. Abana bagombye gutuma ababyeyi barushaho kugirana imishyikirano ya bugufi, bakarushaho kunga ubumwe muri uwo murimo wo kurera bafatanije. Ariko rimwe na rimwe hashobora kuvuka ibibazo iyo ababyeyi batavuga rumwe ku bihereranye n’uburere cyangwa se ibihano bikwiriye guhabwa umwana. Rimwe na rimwe umugore yita ku mwana bikabije ku buryo umugabo yumva atereranywe, ndetse bikaba byanamubabaza. Ibyo bishobora kugira ingaruka ku myifatire agirira umwana. Ashobora kutamwitaho, cyangwa se akamukundwakaza bikabije ku buryo urukundo yakundaga umugore we ruhazaharira. Ingaruka ziba mbi cyane iyo umugabo cyangwa umugore badashyize mu gaciro.
26. Ni iki cyakorwa kugira ngo umwana mukuru atagira ishyari mu gihe nyina aba agomba kumara igihe kinini yita ku ruhinja?
26 Icyakora, hari n’ikindi kibazo gishobora kuvuka nk’iyo havutse undi mwana, akaza asanga uwari uhasanzwe. Nyina w’umwana aba agomba kumara igihe kinini yita kuri rwa ruhinja. Kugira ngo wa mwana mukuru atumva atereranywe cyangwa ngo agire ishyari, se w’umwana yagombye kurushaho kumwitaho cyane.
27. Iyo umwe mu bashakanye atizera, ni gute abana bashobora gufashwa mu buryo bw’umwuka?
27 Nta gushidikanya ko ababiri baruta umwe, ariko nanone umwe aruta ubusa. Byashoboka ko, bitewe n’impamvu runaka, nyina w’abana abarera wenyine atabifashijwemo na se w’abana. Cyangwa se, se w’abana akaba ari we bibaho. Incuro nyinshi haboneka ingo zidahuje imyizerere, umubyeyi umwe w’umugaragu wa Yehova Imana akaba yizera byuzuye inama za Bibiliya, na ho undi mubyeyi we akaba atazizera. Iyo Umukristo witanze ari umugabo, kubera ko ari umutware w’umuryango aba agomba kurushaho kugenzura inzira igomba gukurikizwa mu burere no mu guhana abana. Ibyo ari byo byose aba agomba kugaragaza ukwihangana, kwifata no gushikama bikomeye; agomba kugira igihagararo gihamye nk’iyo hari ikibazo gikomeye kivutse, ariko agashyira mu gaciro akagira n’ubugwaneza n’ubwo yaba ashotowe, kandi akava ku izima igihe bishobotse. Iyo uwizera ari umugore, kandi kubera ko ari munsi y’ubutware bw’umugabo, uko azabyifatamo bizaterwa ahanini n’imyifatire y’umugabo. Mbese, yaba gusa adashimishwa na Bibiliya, cyangwa arwanya umugore mu myizerere ye n’imihati agira ayigisha abana? Niba amurwanya, agomba gukurikiza inama y’intumwa Petero, ni ukuvuga gusohoza inshingano ye yo kuba umugore mwiza no kubaha umugabo we mu buryo bw’intangarugero, kugira ngo umugabo we ‘areshywe n’ubwo [umugore] yaba ari nta jambo avuze.’ Azakoresha kandi uburyo bwose bumushobokeye kugira ngo yigishe abana be amahame ya Bibiliya.—1 Petero 3:1-4.
UMWUKA WO MU RUGO
28, 29. Ni uwuhe mwuka uba ukenewe mu rugo, kandi se, kubera iki?
28 Ababyeyi bombi bafite inshingano yo gukora ku buryo mu rugo rwabo harangwamo umwuka w’urukundo. Ibyo abana nibabibona, bizabafasha kwivanamo ugushidikanya no kudahishira amakosa yabo kubera ko batazatinya kuyabwira ababyeyi babo. Bazaba bazi ko bashobora gushyikirana na bo bakabumva, kandi ko bazahihibikanira ibyo bibazo byabo mu buryo bwuje urukundo. (Gereranya na 1 Yohana 4:17-19; Abaheburayo 4:15, 16.) Urugo ntiruzaba ari ubwugamo gusa, ahubwo ruzaba ari n’ubuhungiro. Urukundo rwa kibyeyi ruzatuma kamere y’abana ikura isagambe.
29 Ntushobora gushyira icyangwe muri vinegre maze ngo utegereze ko cyuzura amazi. Gishobora kunywa gusa ibyo wagishyizemo. Icyangwe gishobora kunywa amazi gusa ari uko ari yo wagitumbitsemo. N’abana na bo ni uko, bacengerwamo n’ibibakikije. Bahita biyumvisha imyifatire y’abantu kandi bitegereza ibintu bikorwa n’ababakikije, maze bikabacengeramo nk’ibyangwe. Abana barabyumva iyo mufite ibyiyumvo byo guhangayika cyangwa se iyo ari iby’amahoro n’ituze. Ndetse n’impinja zicengezwamo n’umwuka uri mu rugo, bityo rero umwuka urangwa no kwizera, n’urukundo, no kuba abantu b’umwuka n’uwo kwisunga Yehova Imana, ufite agaciro katagereranywa.
30. Ni ibihe bibazo ababyeyi bagombye kwibaza kugira ngo bamenye niba baha abana babo uburere bwiza?
30 Ibaze gato: ni ayahe mahame wifuza ko abana bawe bakurikiza? Mbese babyeyi, mwembi murayakurikiza? Umuryango wanyu ni iki uha agaciro? Ni rugero bwoko ki muha umwana wanyu? Mbese, muriganyira, mwitotombera abandi, murabanegura, mwishyiramo ibitekerezo bibi? Mbese, mwifuza ko abana banyu bamera batyo? Cyangwa se, hari amahame yo hejuru agenga umuryango wanyu, mukayakurikiza ku buryo mwaba mwiteze ko n’abana banyu bazayakurikiza? Mbese, biyumvisha ko kugira ngo babe muri uwo muryango hari ibintu bimwe bisabwa bigomba gukurikizwa, ko hari imyifatire runaka isabwa kandi hakaba n’ibikorwa hamwe n’imigirire runaka bitemewe? Abana baba bashaka kumva bafite umutekano, bityo rero igihe bagendera ku mahame agenga umuryango, ujye ubagaragariza ko ubashima kandi ko ubemera. Abantu bafite uburyo bwo gukurikiza ibyo basabwa. Uramutse wishyizemo ko umwana wawe ari mubi byashoboka ko yazakwereka ko utibeshye koko. Kumugaragariza icyizere cy’uko hari ibyiza ashobora gukora bishobora kumutera inkunga yo kwihatira kubigeraho.
31. Ni iki kigomba kurangwa buri gihe mu buyobozi ababyeyi baha abana babo?
31 Abantu bahabwa agaciro hakurikijwe ibikorwa byabo kurusha amagambo yabo. Abana na bo bashobora kutita cyane ku magambo nk’uko bita ku bikorwa, kandi akenshi bahita batahura aho uburyarya bwaba buherereye. Amagambo menshi y’urudaca ashobora gushyira abana mu rujijo. Reba neza niba amagambo yawe ahuje n’ibikorwa byawe.—1 Yohana 3:18.
32. Ni inama za nde zagombye gukurikizwa buri gihe?
32 Waba uri se cyangwa nyina w’abana, inshingano yawe iragoye. Ariko iyo ngorane ishobora gukemurwa hakaboneka ingaruka zishimishije mu gukurikiza inama z’Utanga ubuzima. Jya usohoza neza inshingano yawe ubivanye ku mutima, nk’ubikorera [Imana] (Abakolosayi 3:17). Mwirinde gukabya, mujye mushyira mu gaciro kandi “ineza yanyu imenywe n’abantu bose,” hakubiyemo n’abana banyu.—Abafilipi 4:5.
[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 100]
Uko nyina w’umwana areba uruhinja rwe, arukorakora, aruvugisha, ni nk’aho yakarubwiye ati “ndagukunda”
[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 104]
Mbese, ujya uteganya kujyana n’abana bawe mu myidagaduro?