Igice cya 10
Akamaro ko Guhana mu Rukundo
1. Ni iki gikenewe kugira ngo abana bawe bajye bumvira?
ABANA bumvira, barangwa n’urukundo, bafite uburere bwiza, ntibapfa kuboneka gutya gusa. Babikesha urugero bahabwa, n’uburyo bahanwa.
2. Ni gute ibitekerezo by’abahanga benshi mu byerekeye kamere z’abana binyuranye n’inama za Bibiliya?
2 Abahanga benshi mu byerekeye kamere z’abana bemeza ko abana ari “abazirankoni,” nk’uko umwe muri bo yabivuze muri aya magambo ngo “mbese, ba nyina b’abana, mwiyumvisha ko buri gihe uko mukubise umwana wanyu muba mumweretse ko mumwanga?” Nyamara ariko, mu Ijambo ryayo, Imana yo igira iti “urinda umwana inkoni, aba amwanze; ariko ukunda umwana we amuhana hakiri kare” (Imigani 13:24). Hashize imyaka nka mirongo ingahe, cyane cyane mu bihugu by’Iburengerazuba, ku masoko hasakaye ibitabo birebana n’uburere bw’abana byarimo ibitekerezo by’uko bajya bishyira bakizana. Abo bahanga bavuze ko ngo guhana byapfukirana umwana bikadindiza imikurire ye; na ho ku bihereranye no kubakubita, ngo kuri bo, bumva n’icyo gitekerezo ubwacyo kirenze ubwenge. Ibitekerezo byabo byanyuranyaga rwose n’inama z’Imana. Ijambo ryayo rivuga ko ‘usarura ibyo wabibye’ (Abagalatiya 6:7). None se, ingaruka y’iyo myaka mirongo ingahe yo kubiba imbuto zo kureka abana bakishyira bakizana yabaye iyihe?
3, 4. Ni iyihe ngaruka yo kudacyaha mu buryo bukwiriye mu rugo, kandi se ku bw’ibyo, ni iyihe nama abantu benshi batanga?
3 Iby’umusaruro udasanzwe w’urugomo n’uburara nta wubibarirwa. Ibikorwa bibi by’urugomo birenze 50 ku ijana biboneka mu bihugu byinshi byateye imbere, bikorwa n’urubyiruko. Mu bice bimwe na bimwe by’isi, ibigo by’amashuri na za kaminuza byabaye indiri z’amarorerwa, imirwano, gutukana n’amagambo ateye isoni, kwangiza, gusagarirana, gufata iby’abandi, guteza inkongi z’umuriro ku bushake, kwiba, gufata abagore n’abakobwa ku ngufu, ibiyobyabwenge n’ubwicanyi. Umuvugizi w’ishyirahamwe ry’abarimu bo mu gihugu kimwe gikomeye yavuze ko ikibazo cy’uburere buke gituruka ku kuntu ishuri riba ritaritaye ku bana bakiri bato, maze avuga ko uburara bugomba kuryozwa kononekara k’umuryango n’ubushake buke bw’ababyeyi mu bihereranye no guha abana babo amahame ashyize mu gaciro, ashobora kugenga imyifatire yabo. Mu gusuzuma ‘impamvu bamwe mu bagize umuryango bashobora kuba abanyarugomo abandi ntibabe bo,’ igitabo The Encyclopaedia Britannica kigira kiti “uburyo bwo guhana bukurikizwa mu muryango, bushobora kuba ari ubwo gutanga umudendezo ukabije, cyangwa se ubwo guhana gukabije cyane, cyangwa butagira ireme na gato. Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika bwagaragaje ko hafi 70 ku ijana by’abagabo b’abanyarugomo baba barabitewe n’uko bajyaga bahanwa mu buryo budashyize mu gaciro.”
4 Izo ngaruka zagiye zigera ku bantu zateye benshi muri bo guhindura imitekerereze maze bagarukira igitekerezo cyo guhana abana.
INKONI IHANA
5. Bibiliya ibona ite ibyo gukubita umwana umunyafu?
5 Gukubita umwana umunyafu bishobora gukiza ubugingo bwe, kuko Ijambo ry’Imana rigira riti “ntukange guhana umwana, kuko numukubita umunyafu atazapfa. Uzamukubita umunyafu, maze uzakiza ubugingo bwe kujya ikuzimu.” Nanone kandi, “ubupfapfa buhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana; ariko inkoni ihana izabumucaho” (Imigani 23:13, 14; 22:15) Niba ababyeyi bashishikajwe cyane n’icyagwa neza ubuzima bw’abana babo, ntibazarangwa n’intege nke cyangwa kutita ku bintu ngo bifate babure kujya babahana. Urukundo ruzabatera kugira icyo bakora igihe ari ngombwa, babikorane ubwenge kandi batabogamye.
6. Ni iki gikubiye mu guhana?
6 Na ho ku bihereranye no guhana, ntibigarukira ku gukubita gusa. Mu buryo bw’ibanze, guhana bisobanura ‘gutanga inyigisho n’imyitozo bijyana na gahunda runaka cyangwa imimerere.’ Ni yo mpamvu mu Migani 8:33 hatagira ngo ‘mubabazwe n’ibyo mbahugura,’ ahubwo hagira hati “mwumve ibyo mbahugura, mugire ubwenge.” Dukurikije 2 Timoteyo 2:24, 25, Umukristo “akwiriye kugira ineza kuri bose, agakunda kwigisha, akihangana, [akigishanya, MN]’ ubugwaneza abamugisha impaka).” Aha ngaha ijambo ‘akigishanya’ rihindurwa mu ijambo ry’Ikigiriki rivuga ngo guhana. Iryo jambo nanone rihindurwa rityo mu Baheburayo 12:9 ngo “ko dufite ba data batubyaye ku mubiri, bakaduhana, natwe tukabubaha: ntidukwiriye kurushaho cyane kugandukira [Se w’ubugingo bwacu bwo mu buryo bw’umwuka, MN] tugahoraho?”
7. Ni izihe nyungu zikomoka ku guhanwa n’ababyeyi?
7 Umubyeyi unaniwe guhana umwana we ntazubahwa na we, mbese nk’uko abaturage batazubaha abategetsi bareka ububi bubaho ntibabuhanire. Iyo umwana ahanwe mu buryo bukwiriye, bimugaragariza ko ababyeyi be bamwitaho. Ibyo bituma urugo rurangwamo amahoro, kuko “[igihano] cyera imbuto zo gukiranuka zihesha amahoro abamenyerejwe na cyo” (Abaheburayo 12:11). Abana batumvira, bifata nabi, ni isoko y’agahinda mu rugo urwo ari rwo rwose, kandi n’abana nk’abo ntibigera banezerwa by’ukuri, ndetse na bo ubwabo ntibishimira uko bari. “Hana umwana wawe, azakuruhura; ndetse azanezeza umutima wawe” (Imigani 29:17). Iyo amaze gukosorwa mu buryo buhamye ariko bikoranywe urukundo, umwana ashobora mu buryo runaka kubona ibintu mu buryo bushya no kugira itangiriro rishya kandi akenshi umuntu akishimira kurushaho kuba hamwe na we. Ni byo koko igihano “cyera imbuto . . . zihesha amahoro.”
8. Ni gute ababyeyi bashobora guhana abana babo mu rukundo?
8 “Uwo Uwiteka akunze, [ni] we ahana” (Abaheburayo 12:6). Ni ko bimeze no ku mubyeyi uzirikana cyane ibyagwa neza abana be. Guhana bigomba gukorwa mu rukundo. Birasanzwe ko umuntu ashobora kugira uburakari abitewe n’ikosa ry’umwana, ariko nk’uko Bibiliya ibigaragaza, umuntu agomba ‘kwihanganira inabi’ (2 Timoteyo 2:24). Iyo uburakari bumaze gucururuka, icyo cyaha umwana yakoze gishobora gusa n’aho kidakomeye nk’uko wagifataga: “amakenga umuntu afite amubuza kwihutira kurakara; kandi bimuha icyubahiro kwirengagiza inabi yagiriwe.” (Imigani 19:11; reba n’Umubwiriza 7:8, 9.) Hashobora kubaho impamvu nyoroshya cyaha: wenda umwana arananiwe cyane cyangwa arumva atameze neza. Wenda koko yibagiwe ibyo yari yabwiwe; ariko se abantu bakuru bo ibyo ntibibabaho? Ariko n’ubwo ikosa runaka riba ridashobora kwirengagizwa, igihano nticyagombye kuba nko kuvubura uburakari butagira gitangira, cyangwa ngo umubyeyi abikorane uburakari bwinshi cyane kubera kuremererwa n’ibyiyumvo afite. Guhana hakubiyemo no kwigisha, kandi iyo umuntu avubura bene ubwo burakari, umwana ntiyigiramo isomo ryo kwifata, ahubwo ni iryo kubura kwifata. Icyo gihe ibyiyumvo umwana agira byo kumva yitaweho iyo ahawe igihano mu buryo bukwiriye birabura. Gushyira mu gaciro rero ni ngombwa kandi bizana amahoro.
GUSHYIRAHO IMIPAKA NTARENGWA
9. Dukurikije Imigani 6:20-23, ni iki ababyeyi bagomba guha abana babo?
9 Ababyeyi bagomba guha abana babo amabwiriza. “Mwana wanjye, komeza icyo so yagutegetse, kandi we kureka icyo nyoko yakwigishije; uhore ubikomeje ku mutima wawe; ubyambare mu ijosi. Nugenda bizakuyobora; nujya kuryama, bizakurinda: kandi nukanguka, bizakubwiriza. Kuko itegeko ari itabaza; amategeko ari umucyo; kandi ibihano byo guhugura ari inzira y’ubugingo.” Ayo mabwiriza atangwa n’ababyeyi, abereyeho kuyobora no kurinda umwana, kandi agaragaza ko ababyeyi bashishikajwe n’imibereho myiza n’umunezero by’umwana.—Imigani 6:20-23.
10. Bishobora kugenda bite ababyeyi baramutse bananiwe guhana abana babo?
10 Se w’umwana utabigenza atyo aba ariho urubanza. Eli, wari umutambyi mukuru muri Isirayeli ya kera, yaretse abahungu be bashaya mu irari, kutiyubaha n’ubusambanyi, yabagaragarije gato ko atabishyigikiye ariko ntiyagira igikorwa nyakuri akora cyo gukoma imbere ibyo byaha byabo. Imana yagize iti “nzacira inzu ye urubanza rw’iteka ryose, mbahōra gukiranirwa yamenye, kuko abahungu be bizaniye umuvumo, ntababuze” (1 Samweli 2:12-17, 22-25; 3:13). Mu buryo buhwanye n’ubwo, nyina w’umwana na we aramutse atujuje inshingano ye, bishobora kumutesha icyubahiro: “umunyafu no gucyaha byigisha ubwenge; ariko umwana bandaritse akoza nyina isoni.” —Imigani 29:15.
11. Ni kuki abana bagomba gushyirirwaho imipaka ntarengwa?
11 Abana baba bakeneye gushyirirwaho imipaka. Iyo batayifite bumva batamerewe neza. Kuba bayifite bakayikurikiza bituma abana bumva bafite umwanya mu itsinda; baba baririmo kandi ribemera kuko baba bahuza n’ibyo risaba. Kureka abana bato bakishyira bakizana, ni ukubatererana ngo birwaneho. Ingaruka zigaragaza ko abana bakeneye abantu bakuru bafite ibyo bemera bihamye ku bihereranye n’imipaka ntarengwa, kandi babitoza abo bana. Abana bakeneye kumenya ko hari imipaka ntarengwa kuri buri muntu utuye isi kandi ko ibyo bizanira buri muntu ku giti cye umunezero n’ibyiza. Dushobora kwishimira umudendezo gusa igihe abandi bazi neza aho umudendezo wacu ugarukira kandi natwe tukamenya aho uwabo ugarukira. Nta kabuza, kurenga ku mipaka ntarengwa ikwiriye, bivuga ko uwayirenze aba ‘yarengereye kandi yariganije mwene se.’—1 Abatesalonike 4:6.
12. Ni kuki igitekerezo cyo kwihana, umuntu ku giti cye, ari ingenzi, kandi se, ni gute ababyeyi bashobora gufasha abana babo kubyihingamo?
12 Iyo abana bize ko kurenga ku mipaka ntarengwa ikwiriye bibazanira igihano runaka, bagera aho bamenya imipaka yabo ntarengwa, bityo binyuriye ku gushikama ku bintu n’ubuyobozi by’ababyeyi, bakihingamo igitekerezo cyo kwihana ku giti cyabo, ibyo bikaba ari na ngombwa ku muntu ushaka kugira ubuzima bushimishije. Dushobora kwicyaha ubwacu cyangwa tugacyahwa n’undi muntu (1 Abakorinto 9:25, 27). Nitwihingamo ikintu cyo kwicyaha kandi tugafasha abana bacu kubigenza batyo, ubuzima bwacu n’ubwabo buzagira umunezero kurushaho, ubuzima buzira ibibazo n’imidugararo.
13. Ni ibihe bintu by’ingenzi ababyeyi bagomba kuzirikana igihe baha abana babo amabwiriza yo gukurikiza?
13 Amabwiriza n’imipaka ntarengwa bihabwa abana bigomba kuba bisobanutse neza kuri bo, bitabogamye, kandi birangwa no kurenzaho n’impuhwe. Ntuzabategerezeho byinshi cyane cyangwa bike cyane. Wibuke imyaka yabo, kuko ibyo bazakora bizaba bihuje na yo. Ntuzategereze ko bitwara nk’abantu bakuru kandi ari bato. Intumwa yavuze ko ikiri umwana muto yitwaraga nk’umwana muto (1 Abakorinto 13:11). Ariko igihe amategeko arimo ubwenge azaba yashyizweho kandi abana bawe bayasobanukiwe, uzahite uyakurikiza kandi mu buryo butanyuranya na yo. “Ijambo ryanyu ribe ‘Yee, Yee’, ‘Oya, Oya’ (Matayo 5:37). Mu by’ukuri abana bashima ababyeyi bubahiriza ijambo bavuze, badahindagurika kandi bategerezwaho imyifatire runaka mu bihe ibi n’ibi, kubera ko baba bumva imbaraga z’ababyeyi babo zibashyigikiye kandi ko bashobora kuzisunga iyo havutse ibibazo bakeneyemo ubufasha. Iyo ababyeyi berekanye ko batabogama kandi ko bagamije ibyiza iyo bakosora abana babo, ibyo bituma abana bumva bafite umutekano kandi bakomeye. Abana bakunda kumenya uko bakwitwara, kandi ibyo bashobora kubikesha bene abo babyeyi.
14. Ni kuki gushikama ari ngombwa iyo abana badakurikiza ubuyobozi bahabwa n’ababyeyi babo?
14 Ababyeyi bagombye gushikama kugira ngo bagaragaze ko bashikamye ku kintu iyo abana banze kugandukira itegeko ry’ababyeyi. Bityo rero, ababyeyi bamwe batangira kubakangisha ko bashobora kubahana, cyangwa bakajya mu mpaka z’urudaca n’umwana cyangwa bakagerageza kumuhendahenda kugira ngo akore ibyo bamusabye gukora. Akenshi ikiba gikenewe gusa ni ugushikama cyane maze ukabwira umwana, nta kujijinganya ko agomba kubikora kandi akabikora ako kanya. Umwana aramutse agiye gukubitana n’imodoka imusatira, ababyeyi bamubwira icyo akora mu magambo afututse. Nk’uko abashakashatsi bamwe bize iyo ngingo babivuga, “ababyeyi hafi ya bose bategeka abana babo kujya ku ishuri, . . . koza amenyo yabo, kuturira ku gisenge cy’inzu, kwiyuhagira, n’ibindi n’ibindi. Akenshi abana barabirwanya. Ariko uko biri kose barumvira, kuko baba bazi ko ababyeyi baba badakina.” Washobora gutegereza ko abana bawe ‘bakomeza amabwiriza n’amategeko yawe’ ari uko abitsindagirije buri gihe.—Imigani 6:21.
15. Iyo ababyeyi bahuzagurika mu mabwiriza baha abana babo, ni gute bishobora kugira ingaruka ku bana?
15 Iyo ababyeyi bategeka kubahiriza amabwiriza rimwe ubundi ntibabikore bitewe n’ibyiyumvo bafite icyo gihe, cyangwa iyo batinda guhana abana batumvira, abana baba batewe inkunga yo kwigeragereza guca inyuma y’amategeko kugira ngo barebe aho bashobora kugera mu kutumvira maze ntibahanwe. Iyo igihano gisa n’igitinda, abana bamera nk’abantu bakuru, bakinangira mu gukora ibibi. “Kuko iteka ry’umurimo mubi rituzura vuba, ni cyo gituma imitima y’abantu ishishikarira gukora ibibi” (Umubwiriza 8:11). Bityo rero, vuga weruye icyo ugamije, kandi ukore ibihuje n’ibyo uvuga. Bityo umwana wawe azamenya ko uko ari ko bimeze maze amenye ko burya kugaragaza uburakari, kujya impaka, cyangwa se ko kugufata nk’aho uri umugome umwanga nta cyo byamugezaho.
16. Ni iki ababyeyi bagomba gukora kugira ngo birinde gutanga amategeko atarangwamo ubwenge?
16 Ibyo bisaba gutekereza mbere yo kuvuga. Akenshi nta bwenge burangwa mu mabwiriza cyangwa amategeko atanganywe ubuhubutsi. “Umuntu wese yihutire kumva, ariko atinde kuvuga, kandi atinde kurakara” (Yakobo 1:19). Niba igihano kibogamye kandi kidashyize mu gaciro, ibyiyumvo bya kamere bihereranye n’ubutabera abana bafite bizakomeretswa, maze bitume bababara.
KURIKIRANIRA HAFI IBY’IMYIDAGADURO YABO
17. Ni ubuhe buryo bwo kubona umurimo n’imikino abana bagombye kugera aho basobanukirwa neza?
17 Gukina bigize igice cy’umwimerere cy’ubuzima bw’umwana (Zekariya 8:5). Ibyo ababyeyi bagomba kubimenya, ari na ko bacengeza buhoro buhoro mu buzima bw’umwana wabo ikintu cyo gukunda umurimo no kwita ku nshingano. Bityo umurimo uwo ari wo wose umwana yahabwa, akenshi azabanza awukore neza, ibyo gukina bize nyuma.
18. Ni iyihe ngaruka incuti zishobora kugira ku bana?
18 Abana bamwe baba “amasarigoma” cyangwa se bakaba nk’abashyitsi iwabo mu rugo kuko baba bashakira imikino ahandi. Niba abo bifatanya ari babi, n’ingaruka zizaba mbi (1 Abakorinto 15:33). Birumvikana ko imishyikirano imwe yo hanze y’umuryango igirira umwana inyungu kuko ituma yagura ubumenyi bwe bw’abantu. Ariko iyo yifatanije cyane n’abo hanze cyangwa ntagenzurwe, umuryango ucika intege, ndetse ukaba wanasenyuka.
19. Ni ibihe bintu ababyeyi bagombye gusuzuma kugira ngo bamenye niba bakora ku buryo urugo rwabo rwarushaho gushimisha abana babo?
19 Usibye igihano ababyeyi bakoresha kugira ngo bakosore ibyo, bashobora no kwibaza icyo bagomba gukora kugira ngo urugo rwabo rushimishe abana babo kurushaho; niba bamarana na bo igihe gihagije, atari ukubigisha cyangwa kubahana gusa, ahubwo no kubera abana babo incuti na bagenzi babo nyakuri. Mbese, ukunze kuba “uhuze cyane” ku buryo utabona uko umarana igihe n’abana bawe ukina na bo? Iyo ibyo bihe byo kugira ibyo umuntu akorana n’umwana we bipfushijwe ubusa, ntibyongera kuboneka. Igihe kigenda umujyo umwe, kandi n’umwana nta bwo aguma hamwe ahubwo akomeza gukura ari na ko ahinduka. Ibihe birahita, kandi n’ubwo bimera nk’aho ari nk’ejo hashize ubwo umuhungu wawe yari umwana wiga kugenda, mu buryo busa n’ubutunguranye ujya kubona ugasanga yabaye umusore, na ho ka kana kawe k’agakobwa ugasanga kavumbutsemo inkumi. Nushyira mu gaciro kandi ukiha gahunda mu bihereranye n’uko ukoresha igihe cyawe, uzashobora kwirinda kureka ibyo bihe by’agaciro by’iyo myaka ngo bikunyure mu myanya y’intoki—cyangwa ukirinda icyatuma abana bawe baguhunga bakiri bato.—Imigani 3:27.
20, 21. Iyo hari televiziyo mu rugo, ni iyihe nshingano ababyeyi baba bagomba gusohoza, kandi se, kuki?
20 Aho televiziyo ari yo buryo rusange bwo kwirangaza, hagomba gushyirwaho imipaka ntarengwa y’ukuntu izakoreshwa. Hari ababyeyi bakoresha televiziyo nk’aho ari umuyaya wo kubarerera umwana. Ishobora kuba yoroshya ibintu kandi isa n’aho idahenda; ariko mu by’ukuri bishobora kuzagaragara ko ihenda cyane. Porogaramu za televiziyo akenshi ziba zuzuyemo urugomo n’ubusambanyi. Ni nk’aho iba yerekana ko urugomo ari uburyo bwemewe bwo gukemura ibibazo; ubusambanyi buba busa nk’aho ari ikintu cyemewe kigize ubuzima bwa buri munsi. Ubushakashatsi bwinshi bwakozwe, bwagaragaje ko ibyo bishobora gutuma umuntu asigara ameze nk’igiti, akumva nta cyo bimubwiye, cyane cyane nko ku bakiri bato. Ugomba gushishikazwa no kureba niba abana bawe barya ibiryo bikungahaye mu bitunga umubiri kandi bitanduye. Wagombye gushishikazwa ndetse n’icyatuma ubwenge bwabo bugaburirwa neza. Nk’uko Yesu yabyerekanye, ibiryo ntibijya mu mitima yacu, ariko ibyo dushyira mu bwenge bwacu bishobora kwinjira mu mitima yacu.—Mariko 7:18-23.
21 Kugenzura ubwoko bwa porogaramu zirebwa n’igihe umwana amara imbere ya televiziyo, bishobora kuzana itandukaniro rikomeye mu mikurire ye. Televiziyo ishobora gushimisha ndetse no kwigisha; ariko iyo itagenzuwe ishobora kuba nk’ikiyobyabwenge, igatwara igihe cyinshi cyane. Igihe ni ubuzima, kandi birumvikana ko igice kimwe cy’icyo gihe cyashobora gukoreshwa mu bundi buryo burimo inyungu. Ibyo ni ukubera ko kureba gusa, televiziyo ibisimbuza gukora. Nta bwo igikorwa cy’amaboko ari cyo cyonyine isimbuza kureba, ahubwo inagisimbuza gusoma hamwe n’ikiganiro. Umuryango uba ukeneye gushyikirana no gushyira hamwe muri byose, kandi ibyo ntibashobora kubigeraho bagiye bicara hamwe mu cyumba kimwe bacecetse gusa birebera televiziyo. Iyo hari ikibazo cyo gukabya kureba televiziyo, ababyeyi bashobora guhinga mu bana babo urukundo rw’ibindi bintu bitari televiziyo—nk’imikino ituma bagira ubuzima bwiza, gusoma, no gukora imirimo mu muryango—cyane cyane iyo ababyeyi ubwabo bafata iya mbere mu gutanga urugero.
IGIHE UHANA UMWANA, UJYE USHYIKIRANA NA WE!
22. Ni kuki ari ngombwa ko abana basobanukirwa neza amagambo ababyeyi babo bakoresha?
22 Umubyeyi umwe yavuze ibyamubayeho muri aya magambo ngo
“igihe umwana wanjye w’umuhungu yari afite imyaka itatu gusa, namuhaye disikuru nzima ihereranye no kubeshya, musobanurira ukuntu Imana yanga urunuka ababeshyi, nkoresheje Imigani 6:16-19 n’indi mirongo. Yateze amatwi kandi asa n’ubyakiriye uko bikwiriye. Ariko muri njye numvaga ahari atarasobanukiwe neza icyo nashakaga kumubwira. Ku bw’ibyo, naramubajije nti ‘mwana wanjye, waba uzi kubeshya icyo ari cyo?’ Na we ati ‘oya.’ Kuva ubwo, buri gihe nabanzaga kureba neza niba azi icyo amagambo abwirwa asobanuye n’impamvu arimo ahanwa.”
23. Ni iki cyagombye kuba gikubiye mu gufasha abana gusobanukirwa neza impamvu ari byiza gukora ibintu mu buryo runaka?
23 Iyo abana bakiri bato cyane, ababyeyi bashobora gusa gutunga ibintu urutoki bagira bati “oya—oya,” nko ku bihereranye no gukora ku ishyiga rishyushye. Ariko ndetse no ku bihereranye n’iyo miburo ya mbere yoroheje, ushobora gutanga impamvu. Ushobora wenda kuvuga gusa uti ishyiga “rirashyushye!” kandi nurikoraho “rirakugirira nabi!” Uko biri kose, ujye wereka umwana ko ibyo byose bikorwa ku bw’inyungu ze; noneho unatsindagirize impamvu imico nk’ubugwaneza, kwita ku bandi n’urukundo, ari icyo kwifuzwa. Fasha umwana kumenya ko iyo mico ari urufatiro rw’ibintu bikwiriye bisabwa hamwe n’ibibuzanyijwe byose. Unatsindagirize kandi impamvu igikorwa runaka cyerekana cyangwa kiterekana iyo mico yifuzwa. Iyo ibyo bikozwe buri gihe, uretse no kugera gusa ku bwenge bw’umwana, ushobora no kugera ku mutima we.— Matayo 7:12; Abaroma 13:10.
24. Ni kuki ari iby’ingenzi ko umwana agandukira ubutware?
24 Mu buryo nk’ubwo, akamaro ko kumvira no kubaha ubutware kagomba gucengezwa mu mwana buhoro buhoro. Mu mwaka wa mbere w’ubuzima bw’umwana, ukuntu aba ashaka cyangwa adashaka gukurikiza ibyo abakuru bamutegeka bitangira kwigaragaza. Bikimara kugaragara ko imikurire y’ubwenge bw’umwana yabimushoboza, uzamutoze kwishimira inshingano ababyeyi bafite imbere y’Imana. Ibyo bishobora gutuma haba itandukaniro rikomeye mu buryo umwana abyitabirira. Ibyo biramutse bitabayeho, abana bashobora kubona ko kumvira ari ikintu bagomba kugaragaza gusa kubera ko ababyeyi babo ari bakuru kandi bafite imbaraga nyinshi kubarusha. Ahubwo umwana aramutse afashijwe kumva ko ababyeyi batamuha gusa ibitekerezo byabo ubwabo ahubwo ko barimo bamugezaho ibyo Umuremyi avuga, ibyo Ijambo rye rivuga, ibyo bizaha imbaraga inama n’ubuyobozi bitangwa n’ababyeyi kurusha ubundi buryo ubwo ari bwo bwose. Ibyo bishobora kuba isoko y’imbaraga nyakuri iyo ibintu bikaze bitangiye kugaragara mu buto bw’umwana, cyangwa iyo atangiye kugerwaho n’ibibazo bitewe no gucogora gukurikiza amahame akwiriye mu bihe by’ibishuko cyangwa bigoye.—Zaburi 119:109-111; Imigani 6:20-22.
25. Ni gute inama yo mu Migani 17:9 yagombye gufasha ababyeyi guhana abana babo mu buryo bukwiriye?
25 “Uhishīra igicumuro, aba ashaka urukundo; ariko uhozaho urutoto, atandukanya incuti z’amagara” (Imigani 17:9). Ibyo ni ko biri no ku bihereranye n’imishyikirano hagati y’ababyeyi n’abana. Iyo umwana yamaze kumenyeshwa ikosa rye kandi akiyumvisha impamvu agomba guhanwa, n’igihano cyatanzwe, urukundo rwagombye gutera umubyeyi kwirinda kugaruka kuri iryo kosa. Ikosa ryakozwe uko ryaba rimeze kose, ugomba gukora ku buryo ugaragaza neza ko icyo wanga ari ikibi cyakozwe, ko atari umwana wanga (Yuda 23). Umwana ashobora kumva ko ubwo yamaze guhanirwa ikosa iri n’iri, atagombye gukomeza kuryibutswa hato na hato kuko byaba bimutesha agaciro kandi bitari ngombwa. Ingaruka ishobora kuba iy’uko umwana yakwitandukanya n’ababyeyi cyangwa n’abandi bana mu muryango. Umubyeyi aramutse ahangayikishijwe n’uko umwana we akomeza gukora iryo kosa incuro nyinshi, ashobora kuzabirebera hamwe n’umuryango mu gihe cy’ikiganiro cy’umuryango nyuma y’aho. Ntugatondagure cyangwa ngo usubire mu byabaye kera, ahubwo ujye usuzuma amahame arebwa n’ibyo, ukuntu akwiriye n’impamvu ari ngombwa cyane kugira ngo habeho umunezero w’igihe kirekire.
UBURYO BUTANDUKANYE BWO GUHANA
26. Ni kuki abana bose batitabira neza kimwe uburyo runaka bw’igihano?
26 “Gucyahwa kugera umunyabwenge ku mutima kuruta guhanisha umupfapfa inkoni ijana” (Imigani 17:10). Abana batandukanye bashobora gukenera guhanwa mu buryo bunyuranye. Kamere n’imyifatire ya buri mwana bigomba kwitabwaho. Umwana umwe ashobora kuba agaragaza ibyiyumvo bye cyane, bityo igihano cyo ku mubiri, mbese nko kumukubita, kikaba kitaba ngombwa buri gihe. Ku wundi, gukubita bishobora kutagira icyo bitanga. Cyangwa umwana ashobora kuba ameze nk’umugaragu uvugwa mu Migani 29:19, ngo “ikiretwa, ntigihanishwa amagambo; nuko, n’iyo kiyumvise, ntikiyitaho.” Icyo gihe umwana yakenera gucishwaho akanyafu.
27. Ni gute se w’umwana umwe w’umuhungu muto yamufashije kutongera kwandika ku rukuta?
27 Nyina w’umwana umwe agira ati
“umwana wanjye w’umuhungu yari afite imyaka ibiri gusa ubwo yandikaga ku rukuta—utuntu duto dutukura ahagana hasi. Se yarabimweretse amubaza icyo abitekerezaho. Igisubizo yabonye ni uko umwana yamukanuriye amaso gusa, ntiyavuga ati yego cyangwa oya. Amaherezo se yagize ati ‘urabizi se mwana wanjye, ubwo nanganaga nawe, nanjye nanditse ku rukuta. Bisa n’aho bishimishije, si byo?’ Ubwo umwana yarisanzuye, mu maso huzura akanyamuneza, maze atangira ikiganiro cy’igishyuhirane cy’ukuntu byari bishimishije cyane. Yari azi ko Papa abyumva. Nyamara yasobanuriwe ko n’ubwo bishimishije, inkuta zitabereyeho kwandikwaho. Babashije gushyikirana, maze biza kugaragara ko ubusobanuro burenzeho ari bwo bwari bukenewe gusa kuri uwo mwana.”
28. Ni gute umubyeyi yakwirinda guterana amagambo n’umwana?
28 Igihe uhana, gutanga impamvu ugamije kwigisha ni byiza, ariko akenshi si byiza kujya impaka n’umwana. Hari umubyeyi umwe w’umugore, iyo umwana we yamugisha impaka ku bihereranye no gukora umurimo runaka, yamubwiraga atya gusa ngo “nuwurangiza turajya muri pariki,” ibyo bikaba byari ibyishimo by’uwo munsi uwo mwana yari kubona. Ibyishimo cyangwa igitekerezo cyo gusohoka byari kuba bihagaze kugeza igihe umurimo watanzwe ukorewe. Iyo yazaga kureba agasanga umurimo utarakorwa yagiraga ati “oo, nta bwo byari byarangira? Turi buze kugenda ari uko urangije.” Ntiyajyaga na we impaka, ariko yageraga ku cyo ashaka.
29. Ni iki cyakorwa kugira ngo umwana yiyumvishe ingaruka mbi z’amakosa ye?
29 Kumva ingaruka mbi z’amakosa bishobora gufasha umwana kwiga ubwenge bukubiye mu mahame akwiriye. Mbese, hari ibyo umwana yanduje? Hari ubwo kumutegeka kubyisukurira ubwe byamugiraho ingaruka ikomeye. Mbese, yaba yabogamye cyangwa yagize ikinyabupfura gike? Kwiga gusaba imbabazi bishobora cyane kugira uruhare mu gukosora igikorwa kibi. Ashobora kuba yamennye ikintu abitewe n’uburakari. Aramutse ari mukuru bihagije, ashobora gusabwa gukorera amafaranga akagisimbura. Ku bana bamwe, kutabemerera ibintu bimwe byiza mu gihe runaka bishobora kubaha isomo rya ngombwa mu rugo. Mu itorero rya Gikristo, kureka kugirana ubucuti n’abanyabyaha bamwe ni uburyo bwo kubatera gukorwa n’isoni (2 Abatesalonike 3:6, 14, 15). Ku bana bato ho, kubaha akato by’igihe gito mu muryango bishobora kugira ingaruka nziza kurusha akanyafu. Nyamara ibihano bikabije, nko gufungirana umwana hanze, byaba birenze iby’urukundo rusaba umuntu gukora. Uburyo wakoresha ubwo ari bwo bwose, abana baba bakeneye kwerekwa ko bagomba kubona ingaruka z’imyifatire yabo. Ibyo bibigisha kwita ku nshingano.
GUHANA MU RUKUNDO
30. Ni kuki gushyira mu gaciro ari ingenzi mu gihe ababyeyi bashyiriraho abana babo amabwiriza?
30 ‘Murobanure ibintu binyuranye bya ngombwa kurusha ibindi’ muzirikana ko “ubwenge buva mu ijuru [ari] ubw’ineza” (Abafilipi 1:10, MN; Yakobo 3:17). Ibuka ko abana bato ari udupfunyika twuzuye ingufu tuba dushaka kwihambura, kandi baba basonzeye kwiga no kuvumbura no kugerageza ibintu bishya. Mu gihe ushyiraho imipaka ntarengwa n’amabwiriza, ujye ushyira mu gaciro kandi ugire n’amahitamo. Hari urugero rwashyirwa hagati y’ibintu by’ingenzi n’ibitari iby’ingenzi. Numara kumenyesha umwana wawe imipaka ntarengwa, aho kugerageza kumugenzura mu tuntu twose akora buri mwanya, ujye umureka yisanzure mu mudendezo hagati y’iyo mipaka kandi afite icyizere (Imigani 4:11, 12). Na ho ubundi abana bawe bashobora ‘kurakara’ kandi “ba[ka]zinukwa,” kandi nawe ugasanga waguye agacuho kubera kuremereza ibintu mu by’ukuri bitari ngombwa.—Abakolosayi 3:21.
31. Ni uruhe rugero Yehova Imana yatanze mu bihereranye no guhana?
31 Bityo rero babyeyi, ‘muhane umwana wanyu, ubwo mukimwiringiye,’ ariko mubikore nk’uko Imana ibishaka, mu rukundo. Muyigane: “Uwiteka acyaha uwo akunda, nk’uko umubyeyi acyaha umwana we yishimana.” Ibihano mutanga bijye biba ari iby’agaciro, kandi mujye mubitanga mu buryo bwuje urukundo, nk’uko Umuremyi wanyu abigenza, kuko “ibihano byo guhugura ari inzira y’ubugingo.”—Imigani 19:18; 3:12; 6:23.