Igice cya 11
Guteza Imbere Uburyo bwo Gushyikirana bya Bugufi
1, 2. Gushyikirana ni iki, kandi ni kuki ari ingenzi?
GUSHYIKIRANA si ukuvuga gusa. Nk’uko intumwa Pawulo yabivuze, iyo uwo ubwira adasobanukirwa amagambo yawe, ‘uzaba ugosorera mu rucaca’ (1 Abakorinto 14:9). Mbese, ibyo uvuga bicengera mu bana bawe, kandi se, wowe usobanukirwa koko ibyo bagerageza kukubwira?
2 Kugira ngo habeho gushyikirana nyakuri, hagomba igikorwa cyo kungurana ibitekerezo n’ibyiyumvo biva mu muntu umwe bijya mu wundi. Niba urukundo rushobora kwitwa umutima w’imibereho y’umuryango wuje umunezero, gushyikirana byo byakwitwa amaraso y’ubuzima yawo. Kudashyikirana hagati y’abashakanye, bishobora gutera ibibazo; kandi ni na ko bimeze cyangwa se wenda biranarenze, ku bihereranye n’ababyeyi n’abana.
UJYE UREBA KURE
3. Ni ryari mu buzima bw’umwana ababyeyi bagombye kuba biteze ko hazabaho ibibazo byo gushyikirana?
3 Ibibazo bikomeye cyane bihereranye n’ugushyikirana hagati y’ababyeyi n’abana babo ntibivuka mu myaka ya mbere y’ubuzima bw’umwana, ahubwo biboneka mu myaka y’ubugimbi cyangwa y’ubwangavu. Ababyeyi bagombye kumenya ko ari uko bizagenda. Baba badashyira mu gaciro baramutse batekereje ko ngo kubera ko imyaka ya mbere y’ubuzima bw’abana babo itarimo ibibazo ugereranyije, ko n’iyo myaka ya nyuma y’aho ari ko izamera. Ibibazo bizavuka nta shiti, kandi gushyikirana guhamye, gushobora kuba ikintu cy’ingenzi cyo kubikemura cyangwa kubigabanya. Iyo ababyeyi bamaze kumenya ibyo, bagomba kureba ibiri imbere, bagatekereza ko bizaza, kuko “iherezo ry’ikintu riruta itangiro ryacyo.”—Umubwiriza 7:8.
4. Mbese, imishyikirano yose yo mu muryango igomba kuba mu buryo bw’ikiganiro? Sobanura.
4 Hari ibintu byinshi bigira uruhare mu gushyiraho imishyikirano myiza mu muryango, kuyishimangira no kuyigumishaho. Uko imyaka ihita, umugabo n’umugore bashobora kugenda barushaho kwizerana mu buryo bwimbitse, kwiringirana no kumvikana, ari na byo bishobora kuborohereza uburyo bwo gushyikirana ndetse n’iyo baba nta jambo biriwe bavuga—indoro gusa, kumwenyura cyangwa gukorakoranaho bishobora kuvuga byinshi kuri bo. Bagombye kugira intego yo gushyiraho urufatiro rukomeye nk’urwo rwo gushyikirana hamwe n’abana babo. Mbere y’uko umwana asobanukirwa ibivuzwe, ababyeyi be bashyikirana na we bamushyiramo ibyiyumvo by’umutekano n’urukundo. Uko abana bagenda bakura, iyo umuryango ukora, ukina, kandi ikirenze ibyo ukaba ushyira hamwe mu kuyoboka Imana, icyo gihe imishyikirano irushaho gukomera. Gukomeza iyo mishyikirano nyamara, bisaba imihati n’ubwenge koko.
TERA UMWANA WAWE INKUNGA YO KUVUGA ICYO ATEKEREZA
5, 7. (a) Ni kuki ari byiza ko ababyeyi bitondera ibyo gucecekesha umwana wabo bamubuza kuvuga? (b) Ni gute ababyeyi batoza abana babo iby’ikinyabupfura n’uburere bwiza?
5 Hari umugani wa kera uvuga ngo “abana bagomba kubonwa ariko ntibagomba kumvwa.” Ibyo ni byo—rimwe na rimwe. Abana bagomba kumenya ko nk’uko Ijambo ry’Imana ribivuga, hari “igihe cyo guceceka, n’igihe cyo kuvuga” (Umubwiriza 3:7). Ariko, abana baba bifuza cyane kwitabwaho, ku buryo ababyeyi bagomba kwirinda gupfukirana bitari ngombwa, ibitekerezo abana babo batanga mu mudendezo. Ntuzatekereze ko akana gato kitwara nk’umuntu mukuru ku bintu runaka. Iyo hari nk’ikintu runaka kibaye, umuntu mukuru agifata nk’aho ari igisanzwe mu buzima bwa rusange. Umwana we ashobora kugira ibyiyumvo bimutera gusamarira cyane akantu runaka k’ubusabusa ku buryo yibagirwa hafi ibindi bintu byose. Akana gato gashobora kwihura mu cyumba maze kagatangira kubarira se cyangwa nyina inkuru ishyushye cyane y’ikintu runaka cyabaye. Umubyeyi aramutse agaciye mu ijambo ati “cisha make!” cyangwa se akakabwira ikindi kintu kigaragaza uburakari, bishobora guhindura ubusa igishyuhirane cy’umwana. Ushobora wenda kuba wumva utwo tugambo twe nta cyo tukubwiye. Ariko n’utera abana bawe inkunga yo kuvuga ibyo batekereza mu bwisanzure, bishobora gutuma nyuma y’aho mu buzima bwabo batajya baguhisha nk’ibintu washakaga kandi wari ukeneye kubamenyaho.
6 Ikinyabupfura n’uburere bigira uruhare mu mishyikirano myiza. Abana bagombye kwiga kugira ikinyabupfura, kandi ababyeyi bakababera intangarugero mu gihe bashyikirana n’abana, ndetse no mu bundi buryo. Gucyaha bishobora kuba ngombwa kandi bigomba gukorwa igihe bikenewe, ndetse bikaba byanakorwa mu buryo butajenjetse (Imigani 3:11, 12; 15:31, 32; Tito 1:13). Icyakora, abana bamenyereye gucecekeshwa, bahora bakosorwa cyangwa, ikibi kirenzeho, bahora bakwenwa ndetse bashyirwa hasi n’umubyeyi iyo bagize icyo bavuga, bashobora kwigunga—cyangwa bakagira undi muntu bishyikiraho bazajya bavugana na we. Uko umwana w’umuhungu cyangwa w’umukobwa agenda akura, ni ko bigenda biba bityo. Ni kuki utabikora utya—nk’igihe umunsi urangiye, ugatuza maze ugasubira mu biganiro wagiranye n’umuhungu cyangwa n’umukobwa wawe, maze ukibaza uti ni incuro zingahe navuze ibintu bigaragaza ugushima, bitera inkunga, kurata cyangwa gushimagiza? Ku rundi ruhande se, ni incuro zingahe navuze ibintu binyuranye n’ibye, byasaga n’‘ibimushyira hasi,’ byagaragazaga ukudashima, uburakari, cyangwa kurambirwa? Ushobora gutangazwa n’ibyo iryo suzuma riri buhishure.—Imigani 12:18.
7 Incuro nyinshi, ukwihangana n’ukwifata kw’ababyeyi birakenerwa. Urubyiruko rukunze guhubuka. Bashobora kuvubura ibiri mu bwenge bwabo, wenda baca umuntu mukuru mu ijambo. Umubyeyi ashobora gucyaha umwana akabikorana ubuhubutsi. Ariko rimwe na rimwe byaba ari iby’ubwenge gutega amatwi mu kinyabupfura, bityo ukaba utanga urugero rwo kwifata, maze wamara gusubiza mu magambo make, ukibutsa umwana mu bugwaneza impamvu ari ngombwa kugira ikinyabupfura no kwita ku bandi. Bityo rero nanone, hakurikizwa ya nama yo ‘kwihutira kumva, gutinda kuvuga no gutinda kurakara.’—Yakobo 1:19.
8. Ni gute ababyeyi batera abana babo inkunga yo kubagana igihe bakeneye ubuyobozi?
8 Wifuza ko abana bawe bumva bishimiye kugushakiraho ubuyobozi nk’igihe bahuye n’ibibazo. Ushobora kubatera inkunga yo kubigenza batyo ubereka ko nawe ukenera ubuyobozi mu buzima, kandi ko hari uwo wisunga umugandukira. Umubyeyi umwe w’umugabo yavuze uko abyifatamo yishyiriraho imishyikirano myiza n’abana be iyo bakiri bato muri aya magambo ngo
“Hafi buri joro, mfata isengesho ndi hamwe n’abana igihe cyo kuryama. Akenshi baba bari mu buriri bwabo, ni uko nkabapfukama iruhande maze nkabasegasira mu maboko yanjye. Mvuga isengesho maze akenshi na bo bakavuga iryabo nyuma y’aho. Ntibikunze kubaho ko babura kunsoma maze ngo bambwire bati ‘papa, ndagukunda,’ ni uko bagahishura ibibari mu mutima. Muri ubwo bushyuhe bw’uburiri bwabo no mu mutekano wo gusegasirwa na se, bashobora kuvuga bimwe mu bibazo byabo bya bwite baba bakeneyemo ubufasha, cyangwa se bakagaragaza urukundo gusa.”
Igihe cyo kurya n’ikindi gihe, niba amasengesho yawe atari amwe yo gusubira mu magambo hato na hato, ahubwo afite ireme, avuye ku mutima kandi agaragaza imishyikirano nyakuri ufitanye n’Umuremyi wawe ari we So wo mu ijuru, ibyo bishobora kugira uruhare rukomeye mu gushyiraho imishyikirano myiza hagati yawe n’urubyaro rwawe.—1 Yohana 3:21; 4:17, 18.
IMYAKA Y’ICYERAGATI
9. Ni iki cyavugwa ku bibazo n’ibyifuzo by’ingimbi n’abangavu ubigereranyije n’iby’abana bakiri bato?
9 Ubugimbi n’ubwangavu ni igihe cy’icyeragati, igihe umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wawe aba atakiri umwana, ariko nanone akaba atari mukuru. Imibiri y’ingimbi cyangwa abangavu iba irimo ihinduka, kandi ibyo bigira ingaruka ku byiyumvo. Ibibazo n’ibyifuzo by’ingimbi cyangwa abangavu biba bitandukanye n’ibyo mu gihe cya mbere y’aho. Bityo rero, uburyo ababyeyi bifata muri ibyo bibazo no kwita ku bikenewe, bugomba guhinduka, kubera ko ibyo umwana yakeneraga ataraba ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu azaba atakibikeneye amaze kuba ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu. Biba ngombwa kurushaho gusobanura impamvu, ibyo bikaba bidasaba gushyikirana byo hejuru gusa, ahubwo bigomba kuba ibyo mu buryo bwimbitse.
10. (a) Ni kuki ubusobanuro bworoheje buhereranye n’iby’igitsina buba budahagije ku ngimbi n’abangavu ? (b) Ni gute ababyeyi batangiza ibiganiro basobanurira umwana wabo ku bihereranye n’igitsina?
10 Ubusobanuro bworoheje wahaye akana kawe gato nko ku birehereranye n’igitsina, nta bwo buzaba buhagije ku ngimbi cyangwa umwangavu. Baba bumva irari ry’igitsina, ariko akenshi bakagira amasonisoni ababuza kwegera ba se cyangwa ba nyina ngo bababaze. Ababyeyi bagomba gufata iya mbere, kandi ibyo ntibizoroha, keretse wenda babaye barashimangiye kandi bagakomeza imishyikirano myiza, cyane cyane mu kuba incuti za hafi z’abana babo, mu mirimo no mu mikino. Ukuza kw’amasohoro ku muhungu n’ukw’imihango ku mukobwa, ntibizabashobera nibaba barabisobanuriwe mbere y’igihe (Abalewi 15:16, 17; 18:19). Se w’umwana ashobora, wenda nko mu gihe atemberana n’umuhungu we, kuzamura nk’ikiganiro gihereranye no kwikinisha, agaragaza ko abasore benshi bafite nibura ikibazo kibyerekeyeho, maze akamubaza ati ‘wowe se, ubyifatamo ute?’ cyangwa se, ati ‘mbese, nawe ujya ugira icyo kibazo?’ Ndetse n’ibiganiro bimwe byo mu muryango bishobora guherera ku bibazo bijyana n’ubugimbi, ari se ari nyina w’umwana, bombi bagatanga inama mu bwisanzure ariko batagira icyo bahishahisha.
GUSOBANUKIRWA IBY’INGIMBI CYANGWA ABANGAVU BAKENERA
11. Ni gute ingimbi n’abangavu batandukanye n’abantu bakuru?
11 “Shaka ubwenge; ndetse ibyo utunze byose ubishakishe ubuhanga” (Imigani 4:7). Mwe babyeyi, mugire ubwenge ku bihereranye n’inzira z’urubyiruko; mugire ubushishozi ku bihereranye n’ibyiyumvo byarwo. Ntimwibagirwe uko byari bimeze mukiri bato. Mwibuke kandi ko n’ubwo buri muntu mukuru wese yigeze kuba muto kandi akaba azi uko byari bimeze, nta mwana muto n’umwe wigeze aba mukuru. Ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu nta bwo aba agishaka kongera gufatwa nk’umwana, ariko nanone aba atarakura kandi aba ataratangira gushishikazwa n’ibintu byinshi bireba abantu bakuru. Aba agikunda kwikinira cyane kandi agikeneye igihe cyo kubikora.
12. Ingimbi n’abangavu bifuza ko ababyeyi babo babafata bate?
12 Haba hari ibintu bimwe byihariye urubyiruko ruba rukeneye ku babyeyi iyo rugeze muri icyo kigero. Ruba rushaka kumvwa; rushaka gufatwa nk’abantu bakuru kurusha ikindi gihe icyo ari cyo cyose; rushaka amabwiriza n’ubuyobozi bihamye kandi bishyira mu gaciro mu kuzirikana ko ruciye akenge, ruba rushaka cyane kumva ko rukenewe kandi ko rwishimirwa.
13. Ni gute ingimbi n’abangavu bagombye kwakira ibyo babuzwa n’ababyeyi babo, kandi se, kuki?
13 Ababyeyi ntibagombye gutangazwa n’uko mu gihe cy’ubugimbi cyangwa ubwangavu, abana batangira kudashaka kugira ibyo babuzwa gukora. Ibyo biterwa n’uko baba begereje igihe cyo kwigenga n’icyifuzo cy’umwimerere kiba kibarimo cyo kugira umudendezo usesuye wo kwishyira bakizana no kwihitiramo. Uduhinja ntitwirwanaho, bityo buri gihe tukaba dukenera ko ababyeyi batwitaho; abana bato bo baba bakeneye kurindwa no kwitabwaho, ariko uko bagenda bakura ni ko ibyo bashobora gukora byiyongera, kandi n’ubucuti bagirana n’abatari mu muryango wabo bukiyongera kandi bugakomera. Uko gushaka kwigenga gushobora gutuma gushyikirana n’umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wawe bigorana mu buryo runaka. Ababyeyi ntibashobora kureka ko ubutware bwabo bwirengagizwa cyangwa busuzugurwa—ibyo kandi bakaba babigirira abana babo. Ariko bashobora kubifatana ubwenge kandi ugushyikirana kukagumaho, baramutse bazirikanye intandaro y’iyo myifatire itari myiza.
14. Ni gute ababyeyi bashobora guhaza mu buryo bwuzuye icyifuzo cy’umwana cyo gushaka kugira umudendezo usesuye kurushaho?
14 Ababyeyi babigenza bate iyo bahanganye n’ikibazo cy’umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wabo wifuza kugira umudendezo usesuye kurushaho? Icyo cyifuzo gihwanye na rasoro wafungiranye mu kiganza. Uramutse uyirekuye vuba vuba, yagushibukana ikagana ahantu utateganyaga. N’ukomeza kuyigundira, uzinaniza kandi ugabanye n’umurego wayo. Ariko nuyirekura buhoro buhoro mu buryo ugenzura, izahama mu mwanya ukwiriye.
15. Ni iki kigaragaza ko mu mikurire ya Yesu kugeza abaye mukuru, yayoborwaga n’ababyeyi?
15 Bene urwo rugero rw’imikurire igenzurwa neza kandi yerekeza ku bwigenge, turubona muri Yesu akiri muto. Ku bihereranye n’imyaka ye ya mbere y’ubugimbi, inkuru yo mu mateka iri muri Luka 2:40 igira iti “uwo mwana arakura, agwiza imbaraga, yuzuzwa ubwenge, kandi ubuntu bw’Imana bwari muri we.” Nta gushidikanya ko ababyeyi be bagize uruhare rukomeye mu mikurire ye, kuko n’ubwo yari atunganye, ubwenge bwe ntibwari gupfa kuza gutya gusa. Nk’uko inkuru ikomeza ibivuga, buri gihe bamuhaga iby’umwuka byari bikenewe mu burere bwe. Afite imyaka 12, ubwo umuryango we wari i Yerusalemu wizihiza iminsi mikuru ya Pasika, Yesu yagiye mu rusengero maze atangira ikiganiro hamwe n’abigisha ba kidini. Bigaragara ko ababyeyi be bemereraga uwo muhungu wabo w’imyaka 12 umudendezo nk’uwo wo kwishyira akizana. Bavuye i Yerusalemu batarabona ko yari yasigaye inyuma, wenda batekerezaga ko yari kumwe n’izindi ncuti zabo cyangwa bene wabo bari batahanye. Hashize iminsi itatu, bamusanze mu rusengero, atarimo agerageza kwigisha abakuru, ahubwo “abateze amatwi, kandi ababaza.” Nyina yamubwiye ukuntu bari bahagaritse imitima maze Yesu, nta kumwubahuka, asubiza ko mu by’ukuri yatekerezaga ko nta kabuza bari kumenya aho bamushakira igihe bari kuba bagiye gutaha. N’ubwo yari afite umudendezo wo kwishyira akizana, inkuru ivuga ko nyuma y’aho Yesu ‘yahoraga abumvira,’ akurikiza amabwiriza n’ibyo yabuzwaga mu bugimbi bwe, kandi “akomeza kugwiza ubwenge, abyiruka, ashimwa n’Imana n’abantu.”—Luka 2:41-52.
16. Iyo ababyeyi bahuye n’ibibazo batumvikanaho n’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu, ni iki bagombye kuzirikana?
16 Mu buryo nk’ubwo, ababyeyi bagombye guha abana babo b’ingimbi cyangwa b’abangavu urugero runaka rw’umudendezo, bakagenda badohora buhoro buhoro uko bagenda baba bakuru, bakabareka bakagenda bafata buhoro buhoro ibyemezo bibareba ubwabo, babibayoboyemo. Ingorane nizivuka, kwiyumvisha impamvu zazo bizafasha ababyeyi kwirinda kuremereza utuntu duto. Incuro nyinshi, nta bwo ingimbi cyangwa abangavu bagandira ababyeyi babigambiriye, ahubwo baba bagerageza kwishyiriraho urugero runaka rw’umudendezo, ariko ntibamenye uko babyifatamo. Bityo rero, ababyeyi bashobora kwibeshya, wenda bakabona ibibazo uko bitari. Niba ubona bidakomeye, renzaho. Ariko niba bikomeye, ntubijenjeke. Ureke ‘kuminina umubu’ cyangwa ‘kumira ingamiya bunguri.’—Matayo 23:24.
17. Ni ibihe bintu ababyeyi bagombye kwitaho mu gihe bagira ibyo babuza abana babo b’ingimbi cyangwa b’abangavu?
17 Ababyeyi bashobora guteza imbere imishyikirano myiza bagirana n’abana babo b’ingimbi cyangwa b’abangavu bagiye bashyira mu gaciro mu byo bababuza. Wibuke ko “ubwenge buva mu ijuru, irya mbere buraboneye,” kandi nanone “bwemera kugirwa inama,” “butagira uburyarya” (Yakobo 3:17). Hari ibintu bimwe Bibiliya yerekana ko bitemewe na gato, birimo kwiba, ubusambanyi, gusenga ibigirwamana, n’ibyaha bikomeye bihwanye n’ibyo (1 Abakorinto 6:9, 10). Mu bindi bintu byinshi, igikorwa gishobora kuba gikwiriye cyangwa kidakwiriye bitewe n’uburyo cyakozwemo. Ibyo kurya ni byiza, ariko turamutse turiye byinshi cyane twaba tubaye ibisambo. Ni na ko bimeze no ku bihereranye n’uburyo bumwe bwo kwidagadura, nko kubyina, gukina, kwakirana, n’ibindi nk’ibyo. Akenshi ikibazo ntikiba mu bintu byakozwe, ahubwo ni mu buryo byakozwe n’abantu yabikoranye na bo. Bityo rero, nk’uko tutaciraho iteka kurya kandi icyo twanga ari ubusambo, ni na ko n’ababyeyi batagombye guhita bacira iteka ku kintu runaka gikunzwe n’urubyiruko, kandi mu by’ukuri icyo barwanya ari ugukabya bamwe babigaragazamo cyangwa ingaruka za nyuma y’aho.—Gereranya n’Abakolosayi 2:23.
18. Ni gute ababyeyi baburira abana babo ku bihereranye n’incuti?
18 Urubyiruko rwose rugira ibyiyumvo byo gukenera kugira incuti. Bake muri izo ncuti ni bo usanga ari “shyashya,” ariko se, abana bawe bo ni miseke igoroye? Ushobora gushaka kubabuza kwifatanya na bamwe mu rubyiruko kuko waba ubona ko babonona koko (Imigani 13:20; 2 Abatesalonike 3:13, 14; 2 Timoteyo 2:20, 21). Mu bandi bo ushobora kubona hari imico imwe bafite ukunda n’indi udakunda. Aho kugira ngo ugire uwo umucaho burundu kubera inenge runaka, byaba byiza ugaragarije abana bawe ko ushima ingeso nziza z’incuti yabo, ari na ko unababurira kwitondera aho afite intege nke, unabatera inkunga yo kugira imbaraga zigira ingaruka nziza kuri izo ntege nke, bikaba byafasha bikomeye iyo ncuti yabo.
19. Mu buryo buhuje n’ihame ryo muri Luka 12:48, ni gute abana bashobora gufashwa gusobanukirwa neza iby’umudendezo?
19 Uburyo bumwe wafashamo umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa w’umwangavu, ni ugukoresha no kugira imyifatire myiza ku mudendezo we uba wiyongereye, no kumufasha kubona ko umudendezo mwinshi ujyana n’inshingano nyinshi. “Uwahawe byinshi wese, azabazwa byinshi” (Luka 12:48). Uko abana bagenda bagaragaza ko bita ku nshingano, ni ko ababyeyi bagenda babagirira icyizere kurushaho.—Abagalatiya 5:13; 1 Petero 2:16.
SHYIKIRANA N’ABANA IGIHE UTANGA INAMA CYANGWA UKOSORA
20. Usibye ububasha cyangwa ubutware ababyeyi bafite ku bana, ni iki gikenewe kugira ngo batabangamira imishyikirano bafitanye?
20 Umuntu aramutse akugiriye inama kandi atiyumvisha imimerere urimo, wakumva inama ye idakwiriye. Abaye afite ububasha bwo kuguhata gukurikiza amategeko ye, bishobora kukurakaza ukumva bikubogamiye. Ababyeyi bagomba guhora bazirikana ko “umutima w’ujijutse ushaka ubwenge,” kandi ko “ujijutse yunguka imbaraga” (Imigani 15:14; 24:5). Ushobora kugira ububasha ku bana bawe, ariko niba bushimangirwa n’ubumenyi no kwiyumvisha ibintu, uzarushaho gushyikirana na bo mu buryo bugira ingaruka nziza. Kutiyumvisha uko ibintu bimeze igihe ukosora abakiri bato, bishobora gutuma habaho “ukudahuza kw’abatari mu kigero kimwe cy’imyaka” ku buryo bibangamira n’imishyikirano mugirana.
21. Ababyeyi bagombye kubona bate abana baguye mu makosa akomeye?
21 Uzabigenza ute umwana wawe niyishyira mu ngorane, n’akora ikosa rikomeye cyangwa icyaha gitunguranye? Ntugashyigikire ikibi (Yesaya 5:20; Malaki 2:17). Ariko ujye uzirikana ko iki ari cyo gihe gikwiriye kuruta ibindi byose umwana wawe akeneyemo ubufasha bushyize mu gaciro n’ubuyobozi burangwamo ubuhanga. Kimwe na Yehova, wagombye kujya ugira uti ‘ngwino tujye inama; ibintu birakomeye, ariko rwose ntibirarenga ihaniro’ (Yesaya 1:18). Kuvugana uburakari bukaze cyangwa kumuciraho iteka uhubutse, bishobora kubangamira imishyikirano. Urubyiruko rwinshi rwajyaga rwitwara nabi, rwagize ruti ‘sinashoboraga kubibwira ababyeyi banjye—bari kundakarira.’ Mu Befeso 4:26 hagira hati “nimurakara ntimugakore icyaha.” Rinda ibyiyumvo byawe igihe utegera amatwi ibyo umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wawe akubwira. Bityo, uburyo wagiye ubyifatamo neza mu kumutega amatwi, buzatuma bimworohera kwakira ibyo umukosoramo.
22. Ni kuki ababyeyi batagombye gushaka kumvikanisha ko bahebye abana babo?
22 Wenda noneho si ikintu kimwe gusa cyabaye, ahubwo ni igihe kigoye cyangwa ni akamenyero ko kugaragaza imico imwe mibi. N’ubwo igihano ari ngombwa, ababyeyi ntibagomba kugaragaza mu magambo cyangwa mu bitekerezo ko bahebye umwana wabo. Kwihangana kwawe kuzaba igipimo cy’ukuntu urukundo rwawe rukomeye (1 Abakorinto 13:4). Ikibi ntukagitsindishe ikibi, ahubwo ukinesheshe icyiza (Abaroma 12:21). Ni bibi cyane gutesha umwana agaciro imbere y’abandi abwirwa ko ari “umunebwe,” “ikigande,” “utagira icyo amaze,” cyangwa ko “nta garuriro.” Urukundo ntirureka kwiringira (1 Abakorinto 13:7). Umwana ashobora no kuba ikirara akava mu rugo. N’ubwo ababyeyi batagaragaza na gato ko babishyigikiye, bashobora gufungura amayira kugira ngo agaruke. Mu buhe buryo? Bamwereka ko atari we banga, ahubwo ko ari imyifatire ye banga. Bashobora gukomeza kumubwira ko bizera ko afite imico myiza muri we kandi ko bizera ko izanesha. Koko rero, nibiba bimeze bityo, nk’uko byagendekeye umwana w’ikirara wo mu mugani wa Yesu, ashobora kuzagaruka imuhira afite icyizere cy’uko atazakiranwa umujinya cyangwa umunya kubera ko azaba agaragaje ukwicuza muri uko kugaruka kwe.—Luka 15:11-31.
KUMVA KO BURI WESE KU GITI CYE AFITE ICYO AMAZE
23. Ni kuki ari ingenzi ko ingimbi cyangwa abangavu bumva ko ari abantu bafite agaciro mu muryango?
23 Abantu bose baba bakeneye kwitabwaho, kumva ko bemerwa kandi bashimwa, ko bafite aho bari. Birumvikana ko kugira ngo umuntu yemerwe kandi ashimwe koko atagomba kwigenga bikabije. Agomba kuguma hagati y’imipaka igenga imyifatire yemewe n’itsinda ry’abantu arimo. Urubyiruko rugeze mu bugimbi cyangwa mu bwangavu rwumva rukeneye kugira umwanya mu muryango. Kora ku buryo rwumva ko rufite agaciro mu muryango, ko rugira uruhare mu mibereho myiza yawo kandi rujye rwemererwa kugira uruhare mu migambi n’ibyemezo bimwe na bimwe bifatwa mu muryango.
24. Ni iki ababyeyi bagomba kwirinda gukora kugira ngo hatagira umwana ugirira undi ishyari?
24 Intumwa yagize iti “twe kwifata uko tutari, twenderanya, kandi tugirirana amahari” (Abagalatiya 5:26. Umubyeyi ushima umwana we w’umuhungu cyangwa w’umukobwa ukoze neza, azatuma umwuka nk’uwo udatutumba; ariko guhora ugereranya umwana n’undi ugamije kumwumvisha ko hari icyo uwo wundi amurusha, bishobora kumutera ishyari n’uburakari. Intumwa Pawulo yavuze ko buri wese “yakwisuzuma mu murimo we ubwe, kuko ari bwo azabona icyo yīrāta ku bwe wenyine, atari ku bwa mugenzi we” (Abagalatiya 6:4). Urubyiruko ruba rukeneye ko barwemera uko ruri no mu byo rushobora gukora, ababyeyi bakarukundira ibyo.
25. Ni gute ababyeyi bafasha abana babo kwihingamo umwuka wo kumva ko bafite umumaro?
25 Ababyeyi bashobora gufasha umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa wabo kwihingamo umwuka wo kumva ko afite umumaro, bamutoza kwitabira inshingano z’ubuzima mu nzego zose. Ababyeyi baramutse batoje abana babo kuva bakiri bato, kutagira uburyarya, kuvugisha ukuri no gufata abandi mu buryo bukwiriye, bashobora kubakira kuri urwo rufatiro rwo mu mizo ya mbere mu kugaragaza uburyo iyo mico ishobora gushyirwa mu bikorwa mu muryango wa kimuntu. Uburyo umuntu yasohoza inshingano ye kandi akagirirwa icyizere, na byo biba bikubiyemo. Yesu ubwo yari ingimbi “akomeza kugwiza ubwenge,” bigaragara ko yigiye umwuga kuri Yozefu, ari we se wamureze, kuko ndetse n’igihe yageze mu kigero cy’imyaka 30 atangiye umurimo we w’Ubwami wo mu ruhame, abantu bamwitaga “wa mubaji” (Mariko 6:3). Mu gihe cy’ubugimbi, cyane cyane abana b’abahungu, bagomba kwiga icyo akazi no gushimisha umukoresha cyangwa umukiriya bivuze, n’ubwo umurimo waba ubwawo woroheje, mbese nko kujya guhaha. Bashobora kwerekwa ko iyo babaye abakozi b’abanyamurava, bashishikaye kandi bizerwa, bumva biyubashye kandi bakubahwa bakanashimwa n’abandi; icyo gihe ntibahesha gusa ababyeyi babo n’umuryango wabo icyubahiro, ahubwo ‘muri byose bizihiza inyigisho z’Imana, Umukiza wacu.’—Tito 2:6-10.
26. Ni uwuhe muco wa kera ugaragaza ko umwana w’umukobwa afite agaciro mu muryango?
26 Abakobwa na bo bashobora kwiga imyuga yo mu rugo no gutaka inzu ku buryo bashimwa kandi bakaratwa n’abagize umuryango hamwe n’abantu bo hanze. Mu bihe bya Bibiliya, hariho umuco wo gusaba inkwano cyangwa ikiguzi iyo umukobwa yajyaga gushyingirwa, ibyo bikagaragaza agaciro nyako yari afite mu muryango. Nta gushidikanya ko ibyo byafatwaga nko guziba icyuho gihereranye n’imirimo uwo mukobwa yakoreraga umuryango we (Itangiriro 34:11, 12; Kuva 22:16).
27. Ni kuki uburyo bubonetse bwo kwiga bwagombye gukoreshwa neza?
27 Uburyo bwo kwiga bwagombye gukoreshwa neza n’abakiri bato kugira ngo bizigamire ibyazabafasha guhangana n’ibibazo by’ubuzima byo muri iyi gahunda y’ibintu. Abakiri bato bari mu bo intumwa Pawulo yateye iyi nkunga ngo “abacu na bo bige kumaramaza gukora imirimo myiza [akazi katarimo uburiganya, New English Bible], babone uko bakenura ababikwiriye, kugira ngo abacu be kugumbaha.”—Tito 3:14.
UBURINZI DUKESHA AMABWIRIZA NGENGAMUCO YA BIBILIYA
28, 29. (a) Ni iyihe nama Bibiliya itanga ku bihereranye n’ubucuti? (b) Ni gute ababyeyi bafasha abana babo gukurikiza iyo nama?
28 Birumvikana ko ababyeyi bahangayika nk’iyo imimerere y’ahantu batuye cyangwa se iyo ku ishuri abana babo bigamo isaba ko abo bana bifatanya n’urubyiruko rw’ibirara cyangwa se urwiyonona. Ababyeyi bashobora kwiyumvisha ukuri gukubiye muri aya magambo ya Bibiliya ngo “kwifatanya n’ababi konona ingeso nziza.” Ku bw’ibyo rero, ntibashobora kwemera igitekerezo cy’umwana wabo cyo kuvuga ngo ‘buri wese arabikora; kuki se jye ntashobora kubikora?’ Wenda buri wese si ko abikora, kandi n’ubwo byaba ari ko bimeze, si impamvu ihagije y’uko umwana wawe yabikora niba ari bibi cyangwa bidahuje n’ubwenge. “Ntukagirire abantu [cyangwa abana] babi ishyari; kandi ntukifuze kubana na bo; kuko imitima yabo itekereza kurenganya, kandi ururimi rwabo ruvuga ibyo kugira nabi. Ubwenge ni bwo bwubaka urugo; kandi rukomezwa no kujijuka.”—1 Abakorinto 15:33; Imigani 24:1-3.
29 Ntushobora guhora inyuma y’abana bawe ku ishuri cyangwa mu buzima. Nyamara urugo rwawe nurwubakisha ubwenge, ushobora kubohereza bafite amabwiriza ngengamuco meza n’amahame akiranuka bibayobora. “Amagambo y’abanyabwenge ameze nk’ibihosho” (Umubwiriza 12:11). Mu bihe bya kera, ibyo bihosho byari inkoni ndende zari zisongoye uruhande rumwe. Zakoreshwaga zishingwa amatungo kugira ngo akomeze kuboneza imbere mu nzira ikwiriye. Amagambo y’ubwenge y’Imana azatuma dukomeza kuboneza imbere mu nzira ikwiriye, kandi nituyoba, azatera umutimanama wacu kuturya maze duhindure imyifatire yacu. Kugira ngo abana bawe bagubwe neza igihe kirekire, ubohereze bafite ubwo bwenge. Wifashishe amagambo n’ingero kugira ngo ubigereho. Bacengezemo inyigisho z’agaciro nyakuri, kandi ni na zo abana bawe bazashingiraho mu gushaka abantu bagirana ubucuti bwa bwite.—Zaburi 119:9, 63.
30. Ni gute ababyeyi bashobora guha abana babo amabwiriza ngengamuco yatanzwe n’Imana?
30 Muri ibyo byose, ujye uzirikana ko amabwiriza ngengamuco azacengezwa neza mu bana niba mu rugo harangwamo umwuka wo kubahiriza no gukurikiza ayo mahame. Gira imyifatire wifuza ko abana bawe bagira. Mu rugo rwawe bwite, mu rwego rw’umuryango, reba neza niba abana bawe bumvwa n’abakuru, niba bagaragarizwa urukundo, imbabazi, niba bahabwa umudendezo n’ubwigenge mu rugero runaka hamwe n’ubutabera n’ukutabogama, no kumva ko bafite umuryango ubemera kandi babarirwamo na bo. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, ubahe amabwiriza yatanzwe n’Imana agenga umuco bazitwaza no mu gihe bazaba batakiri mu rugo. Nta murage mwiza uruta uwo.—Imigani 20:7.