Dusohoze Inshingano yo Kwita ku Muryango

“NAMWE ba se, ntimugasharirire abana banyu, ahubwo mubarere, mubahana mubigisha iby’Umwami wacu” (Abefeso 6:4). Muri ayo magambo yahumetswe, intumwa Pawulo yagaragaje neza ugomba gusohoza inshingano yo kwita ku muryango uwo ari we—igomba gusohozwa n’umubyeyi w’umugabo.

Mu miryango myinshi, umubyeyi w’umugabo si we wenyine wita ku bana be. Umugore we, ari we nyina w’abana be, afatanya n’umugabo we uwo mutwaro abigiranye ibyishimo. Ku bw’ibyo, Umwami Salomo yaravuze ati “mwana wanjye, jya wumva icyo so akwigisha, kandi we kureka icyo nyoko agutegeka.”​—Imigani 1:8.

Kwita ku by’Umubiri n’Iby’Umwuka

Ababyeyi bakunda abana babo, nta bwo babirengagiza nkana. Koko rero, mu gihe Abakristo baba babigenje batyo, byaba ari kimwe no kwihakana ukwizera kwabo, nk’uko tubibonera mu magambo Pawulo yandikiye Timoteyo agira ati “ariko niba umuntu adatunga abe, cyane cyane abo mu rugo rwe, aba yihakanye ibyizerwa, kandi aba abaye mubi hanyuma y’utizera” (1 Timoteyo 5:8). Abakristo babona ko kurera abana ‘babahana babigisha iby’Umwami,’ bisaba ibirenze cyane kubabonera ibintu byo mu buryo bw’umubiri.

Reka dusuzume inama Mose yagiriye abagize ishyanga ry’Isirayeli igihe bari bakambitse mu bibaya by’i Mowabu, mbere gato y’uko binjira mu Gihugu cy’Isezerano. Aho ngaho yabasubiriyemo amategeko y’Imana, maze abaha amabwiriza agira ati “mubike ayo magambo yanjye mu mitima yanyu no mu bugingo bwanyu” (Gutegeka 11:18). Mbere y’aho, yari yabibukije ko bagomba gukunda Yehova n’umutima wabo wose, n’ubugingo bwabo bwose n’imbaraga zabo zose, maze yongeraho ati “aya mategeko ngutegeka uyu munsi, ahore ku mutima wawe” (Gutegeka 6:5, 6). Byari iby’ingenzi ko ababyeyi b’Abisirayeli bareka amagambo yo mu Mategeko y’Imana agacengera mu mitima yabo. Mu gihe imitima yabo yari kuba yuzuye ubumenyi bw’ibintu by’umwuka, ababyeyi b’Abisirayeli bashoboraga mu buryo bugira ingaruka nziza kumvira amagambo ya Mose akurikiraho, agira ati “ujye ugira umwete wo kuyigisha [“kuyacengeza,” NW ] [ni ukuvuga amagambo yo mu mategeko y’Imana] abana bawe, ujye uyavuga wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’uko ugenda mu nzira, n’uko uryamye, n’uko ubyutse.”​—Gutegeka 6:7; 11:19; gereranya na Matayo 12:34, 35.

Zirikana ko ababyeyi b’abagabo bagombaga ‘gucengeza’ (NW ) mu bana babo ayo mategeko no ‘kuyavuga.’ Inkoranyamagambo yitwa Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary isobanura ko ‘gucengeza’ ari “ukwigisha no gutsindagiriza binyuriye mu gusubiramo kenshi, cyangwa gutanga inama.” Mu gihe ababyeyi bavugaga ibihereranye n’Amategeko y’Imana buri munsi—mu gitondo, ku manywa na nijoro—⁠ibyo byigishaga abana babo ibintu byinshi. Uko abakiri bato babonaga ukuntu ababyeyi babo bakundaga Amategeko y’Imana, ni nako na bo bashishikazwaga no kwihingamo kugirana imishyikirano ya bugufi na Yehova (Gutegeka 6:24, 25). Igishishikaje ariko, ni uko Mose yategetse ababyeyi b’abagabo kwigisha abana babo mu gihe babaga ‘bicaye mu nzu zabo’ nyir’izina. Bene izo nyigisho, zari kimwe mu bigize inshingano yo kwita ku muryango. Ariko se bite muri iki gihe?

“[Mu Gihe] Wicaye mu Nzu Yawe”

Janet, umubyeyi w’Umukristokazi urera abana bane, yagize ati “ntibyoroshye.”a Paul, akaba ari umugabo we, yemeye agira ati “ugomba guhatiriza.” Kimwe n’abandi babyeyi benshi b’Abahamya, Paul na Janet bihatira kwigana Bibiliya n’abana babo, nibura rimwe mu cyumweru. Paul asobanura agira ati “tugerageza kugira ikiganiro gishingiye kuri Bibiliya buri wa Mbere nimugoroba ku isaha twagennye, ariko si ko buri gihe tubigeraho.” Kubera ko yashyiriweho kuba umusaza mu itorero rye, rimwe na rimwe yajyaga asabwa guhihibikanira ibibazo byihutirwa. Abana be babiri bakuru, ni abakozi b’igihe cyose. Babona ko imigoroba ari ibihe bigira ingaruka nziza mu murimo byo kugera ku bantu. Ku bw’ibyo, mu rwego rw’umuryango bagize icyo bahindura ku gihe cy’icyigisho cyabo cy’umuryango. Paul asobanura agira ati “rimwe na rimwe tugira icyigisho cyacu tukimara gufata ifunguro rya nimugoroba.”

N’ubwo ababyeyi bagaragaza ko bahuza n’imimerere mu kugena igihe cy’icyigisho cyabo cy’umuryango babigiranye ubwenge, bagerageza gukomeza kukigira buri gihe. Umukobwa witwa Clare, yaravuze ati “iyo igihe cy’icyigisho cyacu kigomba guhinduka, buri gihe Data ashyira porogaramu nshya y’igihe cy’icyigisho ku rugi rwa firigo, ku buryo twese tumenya igihe kiza kubera.”

Nanone kandi, guteranira hamwe mu cyigisho cy’umuryango cya Bibiliya cya buri gihe, bituma abagize umuryango bakiri bato babona uburyo bwiza bwo kugeza ku babyeyi babo ibibahangayikisha n’ibibazo byabo. Icyigisho nk’icyo kigira ingaruka nziza, iyo kiyobowe mu buryo budakagatiza cyane, ku buryo abana basoma gusa ibisubizo by’ibibazo byabajijwe mu gitabo cy’imfashanyigisho ya Bibiliya bakoresha. Uwitwa Martin ufite abahungu babiri, asobanura agira ati “icyigisho cyacu cy’umuryango, ni urubuga rw’ibiganiro.” Yongeraho ati “mu gihe muhuriye hamwe rimwe mu cyumweru kugira ngo muganire ku ngingo ishingiye ku Byanditswe, mutahura ukuntu umuryango wanyu uhagaze mu buryo bw’umwuka. Dutahura ibintu byinshi bitandukanye binyuriye mu kiganiro. Mumenya ibibera ku ishuri, kandi igishimishije kurushaho, mutahura imyifatire abana banyu barimo bagira.” Umugore we, Sandra, yemera kandi yumva ko na we avana byinshi mu cyigisho cy’umuryango. Aragira ati “mu gihe umugabo wanjye aba arimo ayobora icyigisho, menya byinshi binyuriye ku gutega amatwi uburyo abahungu banjye basubiza ibibazo bye.” Hanyuma, Sandra agahuza ibisobanuro bye n’imimerere kugira ngo afashe abahungu be. Arushaho kwishimira icyigisho kubera ko akigiramo uruhare abishishikariye. Ni koko, ibihe by’icyigisho cy’umuryango, bituma ababyeyi bamenya mu buryo bwimbitse ibyo abana babo batekereza.​—Imigani 16:23; 20:5.

Mube Abantu Bahuza n’Imimerere Kandi Muhatane

Iyo igihe cy’icyigisho cyanyu cy’umuryango kigeze, mushobora kubona ko umwana umwe ashobora kuba akangutse mu bitekerezo kandi ashimishijwe, mu gihe undi we aba akeneye guhendahendwa kugira ngo yerekeze ibitekerezo ku cyigisho kandi yungukirwe. Umubyeyi umwe w’Umukristokazi, agira ati “ibyo ni ko bimera mu mibereho y’umuryango! Kubera ko uri umubyeyi, uba uzi icyo wagombye gukora. Bityo, mu gihe wihatiye gukomeza kuyobora icyigisho cy’umuryango, Yehova arafasha kandi agatanga umusaruro.”

Igihe umwana ashobora kumara ashyize ibitekerezo hamwe, gishobora gutandukana cyane n’icyo abandi bana bamara hakurikijwe imyaka ye. Umubyeyi urangwa n’ubushishozi, ibyo arabizirikana. Umugabo n’umugore bashakanye, bafite abana batanu, bafite kuva ku myaka 6 kugera kuri 20. Michael, akaba ari umubyeyi w’umugabo, aravuga ati “ha umuhererezi urubuga rwo gusubiza ibibazo mbere y’abandi. Hanyuma ureke abana bakuru bongereho ibisobanuro birambuye, kandi bashyiremo ingingo bateguye.” Ubwo buryo bwo gukorana n’abana babo babigiranye ubushishozi, butuma ababyeyi bashobora kubigisha akamaro ko kwita ku bandi. Martin agira ati “umwe mu bahungu bacu ashobora gusobanukirwa, ariko undi we akaba akeneye gufashwa cyane kugira ngo asobanukirwe. Mbona ko igihe cy’icyigisho kiduha uburyo bwo kwitoza kugaragaza ukwihangana kwa Gikristo hamwe n’izindi mbuto z’umwuka.”​—Abagalatiya 5:22, 23; Abafilipi 2:4.

Mube mwiteguye guhuza n’ubushobozi bw’abana banyu bunyuranye, hamwe n’ikigero cy’imyaka yabo gitandukanye. Simon na Mark, ubu bakaba ari ingimbi, babonye ko igihe bari bakiri abana, mu by’ukuri bishimiraga kwigana n’ababyeyi babo igitabo Le plus grand homme de tous les temps. Bagira bati “turibuka ko papa yaduhaga gukina ibice bitandukanye mu buryo bw’ikinamico.” Se yibuka apfukama hasi kugira ngo akinane n’abahungu be umugani w’Umusamariya mwiza (Luka 10:30-35). “Byari bihuje n’ukuri kandi bishimishije cyane.”

Abana benshi barwanya porogaramu ihoraho y’icyigisho cy’umuryango. Mbese, ibyo byagombye kubuza ababyeyi kuyobora icyigisho mu gihe cyateganyijwe? Oya rwose. Mu migani 22:15, hagira hati “ubupfapfa buhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana; ariko inkoni ihana izabumucaho.” Umubyeyi umwe w’umugore urera abana wenyine, yatekereje ko yari arimo ananirwa gusohoza inshingano yo kuyobora icyigisho cy’umuryango, ubwo incuro nyinshi ibirangaza byasaga n’aho birogoya icyigisho. Ariko kandi yarahatanye. Ubu, abana be baramwubaha cyane, kandi baje kugera ubwo baha agaciro urukundo yagaragaje n’uburyo yabitagaho binyuriye mu guhatanira kuyobora icyigisho cy’umuryango cya buri gihe.

Gufasha Abahungu n’Abakobwa b’ “Impfubyi”

Abasaza b’Abakristo bagomba ‘kuragira umukumbi w’Imana’ (1 Petero 5:2, 3). Gusura imiryango yo mu matorero yabo buri gihe, bituma babona uburyo bwo gushimira ababyeyi basohoza inshingano zabo za Gikristo. Ni nde ufite inshingano yo kwigisha abana barerwa n’umubyeyi umwe? Ntitukigere na rimwe twibagirwa ko umubyeyi ari we ufite inshingano yo kurera abana.

Amakenga ya Gikristo azafasha abasaza kwirinda imimerere ishobora gutuma batandukira amahame ya Gikristo, mu gihe bagomba gusohoza uruhare rw’umubyeyi wapfuye. N’ubwo abavandimwe babiri bashobora kuba basura mushiki wacu w’Umukristo urera abana wenyine, igihe cyose bazagira amakenga mu byo bateganya mu rwego rwo gushyigikira gahunda y’icyigisho cy’umuryango. Rimwe na rimwe, gutumira abana (ndetse n’umubyeyi ubarera wenyine) kugira ngo bifatanye ku cyigisho cy’umuryango w’umusaza, bishobora kugaragara ko byubaka kandi bikaba ingirakamaro. Ariko kandi, ntitukibagirwe na rimwe ko Yehova ari we Data mukuru wo mu ijuru. Nta kabuza aba ahari kugira ngo ayobore kandi afashe umubyeyi w’umugore, mu gihe ayoborera abana be icyigisho, kabone n’ubwo yaba abikora wenyine.

Bite mu gihe umwana yaba yita ku bintu by’umwuka, ariko ababyeyi be bakaba batita cyane, cyangwa se batanita rwose ku nshingano zabo zo mu buryo bw’umwuka? Abagaragu ba Yehova bizerwa, ntibagomba na rimwe gucika intege. Umwanditsi wa zaburi yaririmbye agira ati “umunyamubabaro akwiringira wenyine [Yehova Imana]; ni wowe ujya utabara impfubyi” (Zaburi 10:14). Ku rundi ruhande, abasaza buje urukundo mu itorero, bazakora uko bashoboye kose kugira ngo batere ababyeyi inkunga mu gihe bita ku bana babo. Bashobora gusaba ko habaho ikiganiro cy’umuryango, hanyuma na bo bakaba bahari kugira ngo batange ibitekerezo bimwe na bimwe by’ingirakamaro ku bihereranye n’ukuntu bakwigira hamwe. Birumvikana ko batazatwara inshingano y’ababyeyi, inshingano igomba gusohozwa na bo dukurikije Ibyanditswe.

Abana bafite ababyeyi batizera, bakeneye gushyigikirwa cyane. Kubasaba ko bazajya bifatanya mu cyigisho cyanyu cy’umuryango, bishobora kuba ingirakamaro niba ababyeyi babo babyemera. Robert, ubu akaba yarakuze afite uwe muryango, yateranaga amateraniro ya Gikristo ari kumwe n’ababyeyi be igihe yari afite imyaka itatu gusa. Yibukaga ibihe byiza bagiraga muri ayo materaniro, ndetse n’igihe ababyeyi be batari bacyifatanya n’itorero rya Gikristo. Igihe yari afite imyaka icumi, yahuye n’Umuhamya w’umuhungu wamujyanye mu materaniro. Ababyeyi b’uwo Muhamya w’umuhungu bitaye kuri Robert babyishimiye, nk’imfubyi yo mu buryo bw’umwuka, maze nyuma y’aho baza kwigana na we. Biturutse kuri uko kwitabwaho kuje urukundo, yagize amajyambere mu buryo bwihuse, none ubu ni umusaza mu itorero.

Ndetse no mu gihe ababyeyi barwanya amajyambere y’abana babo, abana ntibaba bari bonyine. Yehova ahora ari Data wizerwa wo mu ijuru. Zaburi ya 68:6, umurongo wa 5 muri Biblia Yera, igira iti “Imana iri mu buturo bwayo bwera, ni Se w’impfubyi.” Imfubyi zo mu buryo bw’umwuka, zizi ko zishobora kuyihindukirira mu isengesho, kandi izazishyigikira. (Zaburi 55:21, umurongo wa 22 muri Biblia Yera; 146:9.) Umuteguro wa Yehova ugereranywa n’umubyeyi w’umugore, usohozanya umwete inshingano yawo yo gutegura ibyo kurya byo mu buryo bw’umwuka bishimishije, bitangwa binyuriye mu bitabo byawo no mu materaniro y’amatorero ya Gikristo yo ku isi hose, asaga 85.000. Bityo rero, binyuriye ku bufasha bwo mu buryo bw’umwuka bwa Data, ari we Yehova, n’ubw’umuteguro we ugereranywa n’umubyeyi w’umugore, ndetse n’ “impfubyi” zizungukirwa n’icyigisho cya Bibiliya mu rugero runaka.

Ababyeyi b’Abakristo bayoborera abana babo icyigisho cy’umuryango cya buri gihe, bakwiriye kubishimirwa. Ababyeyi barera abana bonyine bahatanira gutoza abana babo mu nzira za Yehova, bakwiriye kwitabwaho mu buryo bwihariye, kandi bagashimirwa ku bw’imihati yabo (Imigani 22:6). Abantu bose bagaragaza ko bita ku mfubyi zo mu buryo bw’umwuka, bazi ko ibyo bishimisha Data wo mu ijuru, ari we Yehova. Kwita ku byo umuryango ukeneye mu buryo bw’umwuka, ni inshingano iremereye. Ariko kandi, ‘mwe gucogorera gukora neza, kuko igihe nigisohora, muzasarura nimutagwa isari.’​—Abagalatiya 6:9.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 23]

Icyigisho cy’umuryango gituma abagize umuryango bakiri bato, babona uburyo bwiza bwo kugeza ku babyeyi babo ibibahangayikisha

[Aho ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 20 yavuye]

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