Duteganye Mbere y’Igihe ku bw’Abo Dukunda

INKURU ibabaje y’ibyabaye kuri Annie, iherutse gusohoka mu kinyamakuru kimwe cyo muri Afurika. Umugabo wa Annie yari umucuruzi. Yapfuye mu mwaka wa 1995, asiga imodoka 15, za konti nyinshi muri banki, amadolari y’amanyamerika agera hafi ku 4.000 imuhira, iduka, bari yo gucururizamo, n’inzu ifite ibyumba bitatu byo kuryamamo. Icyo atasize, ni inyandiko igaragaza uwari gusigarana ibyo bintu.

Umugabo wabo wa Annie yavuzweho kuba yarafashe ibyo bintu byose n’ayo mafaranga, maze akirukana uwo mugore n’abana be batandatu mu rugo rwabo. Ubu Annie yabuze epfo na ruguru, none we n’abana be babana na musaza we. Byabaye ngombwa ko abana bane muri abo bava mu ishuri, bitewe no kubura amafaranga cyangwa imyambaro y’ishuri.

Annie yagiye kuregera urukiko rw’ikirenga, rutegeka ko yagombaga gusubizwa ibintu bimwe na bimwe, hakubiyemo n’imodoka imwe. Ariko kandi, nta kintu na kimwe yashubijwe. Agomba gusubira mu rukiko, gushaka urwandiko rusaba umugabo wabo kubahiriza ibyo urwo rukiko rw’ikirenga rwategetse.

Kuki Ari Ngombwa Gutekereza ku Bihereranye n’Urupfu?

Inkuru y’ibyabaye kuri Annie, igaragaza ibintu bishobora kubaho mu gihe umutware w’urugo yaba akoze ibintu, adateganya ko ashobora gupfa. Iyo abantu bapfuye, bose ‘basigira abandi ubutunzi bwabo.’ (Zaburi 49:11, umurongo wa 10 muri Biblia Yera.) Byongeye kandi, abapfuye ntibagenzura ibyo ubutunzi bwabo bukoreshwamo (Umubwiriza 9:5, 10). Kugira ngo umuntu azagire ijambo mu mikoreshereze y’umutungo we, agomba kubitunganya atarapfa.

N’ubwo twese tuzi ko dushobora gupfa amanzaganya, abantu benshi ntibateganya mbere y’igihe ibizatunga abo bakunda bashobora kuzasigara. N’ubwo ikiganiro cyacu kiri bwibande ku matsinda yo muri Afurika agendera ku mico runaka, ibibazo nk’ibyo biba no mu tundi turere tw’isi.

Kuba wafata ibyemezo bihereranye n’ukuntu ibyo utunze byasaranganywa mu gihe waba upfuye, icyo ni ikibazo kikureba ku giti cyawe (Abagalatiya 6:5). Ariko kandi, umuntu ashobora kubaza ati ‘kuki umugabo yakundwakaza umugore we n’abana be kandi akabitaho mu gihe akiriho, nyamara ntagire icyo abateganyiriza cyazabafasha kugira imibereho myiza mu gihe yaba apfuye?’ Impamvu y’ingenzi, ni uko abenshi muri twe tudakunda gutekereza ko dushobora gupfa, kubiteganya byo rero bikaba biri kure. Mu by’ukuri, ntidushobora kumenya umunsi tuzapfiraho, nk’uko Bibiliya ibivuga igira iti ‘ntimuzi ibizaba ejo. Mbese ubugingo bwanyu ni iki? Muri igihu kiboneka umwanya muto, kigaherako kigatamuka.’​—Yakobo 4:14.

Birakwiriye kuba umuntu yateganya ko ashobora gupfa. Nanone kandi, ibyo byerekana ko umuntu yita ku bo yaba asize, mu buryo burangwa n’urukundo. Nitudashyira ibintu byacu kuri gahunda, abandi bazabikora. Wenda abantu tutigeze tumenya, ni bo bazafata imyanzuro irebana n’umutungo wacu hamwe n’imirimo y’ihamba. Muri bene iyo mimerere, mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, Leta ni yo igena uzahabwa amafaranga yacu n’ibyo twari dutunze. Mu tundi turere, abo dufitanye isano ni bo bafata imyanzuro, kandi akenshi iyo myanzuro ijyanirana no guterana amagambo, ibyo bigakurura inzangano mu muryango. Byongeye kandi, ibintu biba byemejwe bishobora kuba bihabanye cyane n’ibyo twakifuje.

Kubohoza Umutungo

Umupfakazi ni we ubabara cyane kurusha abandi bose, iyo umugabo we apfuye. Uretse no kuba agira agahinda ko gupfusha uwo bashakanye, akenshi agerwaho n’ingaruka z’ibikorwa byo kubohoza umutungo. Ibyo ni byo byavuzwe tugitangira, mu nkuru y’ibyabaye kuri Annie. Imwe mu mpamvu zituma abantu bajya mu byo kubohoza umutungo, ifitanye isano n’ukuntu abagore bashobora kuba babonwa. Mu mico imwe n’imwe, umugore ntabonwa ko ari umwe mu bagize umuryango w’umugabo we. Mu buryo runaka, afatwa nk’umunyamahanga ushobora kwisubirira mu muryango we igihe icyo ari cyo cyose, cyangwa akigira gushaka undi mugabo mu wundi muryango. Mu buryo bunyuranye n’ubwo, hariho indi mitekerereze yo kumva ko abavandimwe b’umugabo, bashiki be n’ababyeyi be, batazigera na rimwe bamusiga. Iyo apfuye, abagize umuryango we baba bizeye ko ibyo yari atunze biba ari ibyabo, atari iby’umugore we n’abana be.

Abagabo batabwira abagore babo amabanga yabo, baba batera inkunga bene iyo mitekerereze. Abavandimwe ba Mike ni bo bonyine yabwiraga ibihereranye n’ubucuruzi bwe. Bari bazi umutungo we wose, ariko umugore we yari azi bike cyane. Amaze gupfa, abavandimwe be baraje babaza uwo mugore amafaranga umugabo we yateganyaga kwishyurwa. Uwo mugore nta n’akanunu kabyo yari azi. Hanyuma, batwaye ibyuma bikora za fotokopi n’imashini zandika umugabo we yari yaramuguriye. Amaherezo, abo bavandimwe be bigaruriye urugo rwose na buri kintu cyose kirurimo. Uwo mupfakazi n’akana ke k’agakobwa barirukanywe, bategekwa kujyana imyambaro yabo yonyine.

“Bombi Ba[z]aba Umubiri Umwe”

Abagabo b’Abakristo bakunda abagore babo, kandi bababona ko bakwiriye kwiringirwa. Bene abo bagabo bazirikana inama ishingiye ku Byanditswe igira iti “abagabo bakwiriye gukunda abagore babo nk’imibiri yabo.” Nanone kandi, abo bagabo bemeranya n’amagambo yahumetswe n’Imana agira ati ‘umuntu azasiga se na nyina, abane n’umugore we akaramata, bombi babe umubiri umwe.’​—Abefeso 5:28, 31.

Abagabo bubaha Imana kandi, bemeranya na Pawulo, intumwa y’Umukristo, wanditse agira ati “ariko niba umuntu adatunga abe, cyane cyane abo mu rugo rwe, aba yihakanye ibyizerwa, kandi aba abaye mubi hanyuma y’utizera” (1 Timoteyo 5:8). Mu buryo buhuje n’iryo hame, mu gihe umugabo w’Umukristo yaba ateganya kujya mu rugendo rwa kure, yagombye kureba niba umuryango we uzitabwaho mu gihe yazaba adahari. Mu buryo nk’ubwo se, ntibyaba bihuje n’ubwenge kuba yateganyiriza umugore we n’abana be ibyazabatunga mu gihe yaba apfuye? Kwitegura ku bw’ibyago bishobora kubaho mu buryo butunguranye, si ibintu bikwiriye gusa, ahubwo ni n’igikorwa cyuje urukundo.

Imihango Irebana n’Ihamba

Ku bagabo b’Abakristo, hari urundi ruhande ruhereranye n’icyo kibazo, rugomba gusuzumwa. Uretse no kuba umupfakazi aba afite agahinda yatewe no gupfusha uwo bashakanye, kubura ibyo yari atunze, ndetse wenda akaba ashobora no kubura abana be, hari imiryango imwe n’imwe y’abantu ihatira umupfakazi gukora imigenzo karande ijyana n’icyunamo. Ikinyamakuru cyitwa The Guardian cyo muri Nijeriya, cyitotombye kivuga ko mu turere tumwe na tumwe, umuco karande usaba umupfakazi kurarana n’umurambo w’umugabo we mu cyumba gicuze umwijima. Mu tundi duce, abapfakazi ntibemererwa kuva mu rugo, mu gihe cyose cy’icyunamo kimara hafi amezi atandatu. Muri icyo gihe, ntibagomba kwiyuhagira, ndetse no gukaraba intoki bagiye kurya cyangwa barangije, na byo birabujijwe.

Bene iyo migenzo iteza ingorane, cyane cyane ku bapfakazi b’Abakristo. Icyifuzo cyabo cyo gushimisha Imana, kibasunikira kwirinda imigenzo idahuje n’inyigisho za Bibiliya (2 Abakorinto 6:14, 17). Ariko kandi, umupfakazi ashobora gutotezwa, bitewe no kudakurikiza iyo migenzo. Ndetse bishobora kuba ngombwa ko ahunga kugira ngo akize ubuzima bwe.

Gufata Ibyemezo Byemewe n’Amategeko

Bibiliya ivuga mu buryo buhuje n’ubwenge igira iti “ibyo umunyamwete atekereza bizana ubukire” (Imigani 21:5). Ni ibiki umutware w’umuryango ashobora gutekerezaho? Mu miryango myinshi y’abantu, birashoboka ko umuntu yagira uwo araga ibintu bye, cyangwa agategura inyandiko ivuga ukuntu ibyo atunze bigomba gusaranganywa mu gihe yaba apfuye. Iyo nyandiko ishobora kuba ikubiyemo n’ibisobanuro birambuye ku bihereranye na gahunda z’imirimo y’ihamba. Nanone kandi, iyo nyandiko ishobora gusobanura neza ibyo mugenzi we bashakanye agomba gukora (cyangwa atagomba gukora) mu bihereranye n’imihango y’ihamba cyangwa y’icyunamo.

Umugore witwa Leah yapfushije umugabo we mu mwaka wa 1992. Yaravuze ati “mfite abana batanu—abakobwa bane n’umuhungu umwe. Umugabo wanjye yamaze igihe runaka arwaye mbere yo gupfa. Ariko na mbere y’uko arwara, yanditse urupapuro, avuga ko yashakaga ko umutungo we wose wazaba uwanjye hamwe n’abana bacu. Uwo mutungo wari ukubiyemo amafaranga y’ubwishingizi, isambu, amatungo ari mu rwuri, n’inzu. Yashyize umukono kuri urwo rupapuro rw’umurage, maze ararumpa. . . . Umugabo wanjye amaze gupfa, bene wabo bashatse ko tugabana ibyo asize. Nababwiye ko umugabo wanjye yari yaraguze iyo sambu mu mafaranga ye bwite, kandi ko nta burenganzira bari bafite bwo kugira icyo baburana. Bamaze kubona urwo rwandiko rw’umurage, barabyemeye.”

Kubivuganaho n’Umuryango

Ibibazo bishobora kuvuka mu gihe umuntu yaba atabwiye abagize umuryango we, ibihereranye n’imyizerere ye n’ibyo yifuza. Reka turebe uko byagenze ku mugabo umwe wari wapfuye, bene wabo bagatsimbarara bashaka ko yahambwa mu cyaro, mu buryo buhuje n’umugenzo wo muri ako karere. Mu gihe umupfakazi we n’abana be babonaga ubuzima bwabo busumbirijwe, byabaye ngombwa ko umurambo we bawurekera bene wabo bo mu muryango. Uwo mupfakazi yavuganye amaganya agira ati “iyo umugabo wanjye aza kuba nibura yarabwiye umwe muri ba nyirarume cyangwa babyara be ukuntu yashakaga kuzahambwa, abagize umuryango ntibaba baratsimbaraye ku migenzo karande yabo ihereranye n’ihamba.”

Mu miryango imwe n’imwe y’abantu, ikintu abantu bemeranyijweho mu magambo, kiba kigomba kubahirizwa kimwe n’inyandiko. Uko ni ko bimeze mu turere two muri Swaziland, aho usanga abantu benshi bafite imyizerere ishyigikira imigenzo karande ihereranye n’ihamba hamwe n’icyunamo. Kubera ko umugabo w’Umukristo witwaga Isaac yari azi ibyo, yakoranyije bene wabo batari Abahamya ba Yehova, maze ababwira ibyo yifuzaga ko byazakorwa namara gupfa. Yababwiye uwagombaga kuzasigarana ibintu runaka yari atunze, kandi abasobanurira neza ukuntu imihango yo kumuhamba yagombaga kuzakorwa. Amaze gupfa, ibintu byagenze nk’uko yabyifuzaga. Isaac yahambwe mu buryo bwa Gikristo, kandi umugore we yasigaye yitaweho cyane.

Rinda Umuryango Wawe

Icyo wazakora kugira ngo urinde umuryango wawe mu gihe waba upfuye, ni ikibazo kikureba ku giti cyawe, ariko Umukristo witwa Edward yagize ati “nakoze inyandiko y’amasezerano y’ubwishingizi bw’ubuzima, bushobora kugirira akamaro abantu umunani bagize umuryango wanjye. Umugore wanjye yashyize umukono kuri konti yanjye yo muri banki. Bityo rero, ndamutse mfuye, ashobora kubikuza amafaranga kuri iyo konti. . . . Mfite inyandiko y’umurage ishobora kugirira akamaro umuryango wanjye. Nindamuka mfuye, ibyo nzaba nsize byose bizaba ari iby’umugore wanjye n’abana banjye. Ubu hashize imyaka itanu nanditse iyo nyandiko y’umurage w’ibyanjye. Yateguwe n’umuntu ukora umwuga wo kuburanira abandi, kandi umugore wanjye n’umwana wanjye w’umuhungu bafite kopi zayo. Muri iyo nyandiko yanjye, nasobanuye neza ko bene wacu bo mu muryango batagomba kwivanga mu muhango wo kumpamba. Ndi mu muteguro wa Yehova. Bityo rero, n’ubwo haboneka Umuhamya umwe cyangwa babiri gusa, kugira ngo bayobore umuhango wo kumpamba, ibyo bizaba bihagije. Ibyo nabivuganyeho na bene wacu bo mu muryango.”

Gutegura bene ibyo bintu, ni impano uba uhaye umuryango wawe mu buryo runaka. Birumvikana ko guteganya ko ushobora gupfa, atari kimwe no gutanga impano ya za shokola cyangwa indabo. Ariko kandi, byerekana urukundo ufite. Bigaragaza ko ushaka ‘gutunga abo mu rugo rwawe,’ ndetse no mu gihe waba utakiri kumwe na bo.

[Agasadnuku/Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 21]

Yesu Yateganyirije Nyina Uko Yari Kuzabaho

“Nyina wa Yesu, na nyina wabo, na Mariya muka Kilopa, na Mariya Magadalena, bari bahagaze . . . [iruhande rw’“igiti cy’umubabaro cya Yesu,” NW]. Nuko Yesu abonye nyina n’umwigishwa yakundaga ahagaze bugufi, abwira nyina ati ‘mubyeyi, nguyu umwana wawe.’ Maze abwira uwo mwigishwa ati ‘nguyu nyoko.’ Uhereye uwo mwanya uwo mwigishwa [Yohana] amujyana iwe.”—Yohana 19:25-27.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 22]

Abakristo benshi bafata ibyemezo byemewe n’amategeko byo kurinda imiryango yabo, babigiranye ubwitonzi