Igihe cy’amabyiruka gitegurira umwana kuba umuntu mukuru

TUVUGE ko uturutse mu gihugu gishyuha cyane, maze ukajya gutemberera mu karere gakonja cyane ko ku Mpera y’Isi ya Ruguru. Ukimara kuva mu ndege, uhise ubona ko ugeze mu karere k’ubutita. Ese aho hantu ushobora kuhamenyera? Birashoboka, ariko bizagusaba kugira ibyo uhindura.

Ibyo bimeze nk’uko bikugendekera igihe abana bawe bageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka. Ujya kubona ukabona ibintu birahindutse. Umuhungu wawe utarakuvaga iruhande, agira atya akajya yiriranwa na bagenzi be. Umukobwa wawe wabaga afite amashyushyu yo kukubwira ibyamubayeho buri munsi byose, ubu noneho asigaye agusubiza ibyo umubajije gusa.

Uramubaza uti “amakuru yo ku ishuri?”

Akagusubiza ati “ni meza.”

Hanyuma akicecekera.

Wakongera kumubaza uti “ariko se ufite ikihe kibazo?”

Akagusubiza ati “nta cyo.”

Maze ubundi akaryumaho.

Biba byagenze bite? Mbere umwana wawe yakubwiraga hafi buri kantu kose, ariko ubu nta byinshi akubwira, kandi hari igihe abwira abandi ibyo atakubwira. Ushobora kumva umeze nk’umuntu witegereza uko umwana we w’ingimbi akura, ariko nta cyo ashobora kubikoraho.

Ese ibyo bishatse kuvuga ko waterera iyo ntiwongere kwegera abana bawe? Oya. Ushobora gukomeza kuba hafi y’abana bawe uko bagenda baca muri icyo gihe cy’amabyiruka. Icyakora ugomba gusobanukirwa neza ibiba ku mwana wawe muri icyo kigero gishishikaje kandi kimubuza amahwemo.

Kuva mu bwana ukaba mukuru

Hari igihe abashakashatsi batekerezaga ko umwana ajya kugira imyaka itanu ubwonko bwe bumaze gukura. Ariko ubu batekereza ko nubwo ubwonko bw’umwana budakomeza kwiyongera cyane nyuma y’iyo myaka, atari ko bimeze ku mikorere yabwo. Iyo abana bageze mu kigero cy’ubugimbi, umubiri wabo utangira kuvubura imisemburo ituma bahindura imitekerereze. Urugero, iyo bakiri abana bareba ibigaragarira amaso gusa, ariko iyo bamaze kuba ingimbi n’abangavu batangira gushakisha n’ibitagaragara, bagashaka kumenya icyihishe inyuma y’ikibazo runaka (1 Abakorinto 13:11). Baba bafite uko bumva ibintu, kandi ntibatinya kuvuga uko babyumva.

Paolo wo mu Butaliyani na we yiboneye ko ibyo byabaye ku mwana we w’ingimbi. Yaravuze ati “iyo ndeba umuhungu wanjye w’ingimbi mba mbona atakiri umwana, ahubwo na we ari umugabo mu bandi. Imiterere y’umubiri we si yo yonyine yahindutse, ahubwo ntangazwa cyane n’ukuntu asigaye atekereza. Ntatinya kugaragaza uko abona ibintu, no gusobanura impamvu abibona atyo.”

Ese umwana wawe w’ingimbi na we ni uko ameze? Wenda akiri umwana yahitaga akora ibyo umubwiye, dore ko icyo yabaga akeneye gusa ari ukumubwira uti “ni uko mvuze.” Ariko ubu ubwo ari ingimbi, akeneye ko umusobanurira impamvu, kandi ashobora no kuba ashidikanya ku mahame umuryango wanyu ugenderaho. Rimwe na rimwe, ibyo bishobora kugaragara nk’aho ari ukwigomeka.

Icyakora ntutekereze ko umwana wawe agamije kurwanya amahame washyizeho. Ashobora kuba arimo ahatanira kuyicengezamo kugira ngo ayagire aye, bityo azayakurikize mu mibereho ye. Urugero, tekereza ugiye kwimukira mu yindi nzu ukimukana n’ibikoresho byawe byose. Ese kubona aho ushyira buri gikoresho muri iyo nzu byakorohera? Ushobora kutahabona. Ariko nanone, ntuzahita ujugunya ikintu cyose ubona ko gifite agaciro.

Umwana wawe w’ingimbi ahanganye n’ikibazo nk’icyo muri iki gihe yitegura ‘gusiga se na nyina’ (Intangiriro 2:24). Birumvikana ko ibyo bishobora kuzafata igihe, kuko uwo mwana wawe atarakura. Icyakora, ni nk’aho arimo apakira ibyo azajyana. Umwana ugeze muri icyo kigero, aba atekereza ku mahame wamwigishije, kugira ngo ahitemo ayo azakurikiza amaze kuba mukuru.a

Gutekereza ko umwana wawe ashobora gufata imyanzuro nk’iyo, bishobora kugutera impungenge. Ariko icyo ugomba kuzirikana, ni uko namara kuba mukuru, azakurikiza amahame azaba yumva ko amufitiye akamaro. Ku bw’ibyo, iyo umwana wawe w’ingimbi akiri mu rugo, ni bwo aba agenzura yitonze amahame azakurikiza mu mibereho ye.—Ibyakozwe 17:11.

Ni iby’ingenzi ko umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu agenzura ayo mahame yitonze. N’ubundi kandi, aramutse yemeye ayo mahame yawe muri iki gihe atabanje gutekereza, nyuma yaho ashobora kuzemera buhumyi n’amahame y’abandi (Kuva 23:2). Bibiliya ivuga ko umwana umeze atyo ashukika mu buryo bworoshye kuko aba ‘atagira umutima,’ iyo mvugo ikaba yumvikanisha kutagira ubushishozi (Imigani 7:7). Umwana w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu ushidikanya ku byo yizera ashobora ‘guteraganwa n’imiraba, akajyanwa hirya no hino n’imiyaga yose y’inyigisho, binyuze ku buryarya bw’abantu.’—Abefeso 4:14.

Warinda umwana wawe ute kugira ngo ibyo bitazamubaho? Dore ibintu bitatu wamufasha kugeraho:

1. UBUSHOBOZI BWO KWIYUMVISHA IBINTU

Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “abakuze mu buryo bw’umwuka, [baba] bafite ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu bwatojwe gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi” (Abaheburayo 5:14). Ushobora kuvuga uti “ariko hashize igihe nigisha umwana wanjye gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi.” Nta gushidikanya ko inyigisho wamutoje zamugiriye akamaro icyo gihe, kandi zikaba zaramuteguriye kuzinjira muri icyo kigero agezemo (2 Timoteyo 3:14). Ariko kandi, Pawulo yavuze ko ubushobozi abantu bafite bwo kwiyumvisha bugomba gutozwa. Nubwo abana bakiri bato bashobora kumenya gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi, abana b’ingimbi n’abangavu bo baba bakeneye “kuba abantu bakuze rwose ku birebana n’ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu” (1 Abakorinto 14:20; Imigani 1:4; 2:11). Icyo wifuza si uko umwana wawe yumvira buhumyi, ahubwo ni uko amenya gukoresha neza ubushobozi bwo gutekereza (Abaroma 12:1, 2). Wamufasha ute kugira ubwo bushobozi?

Uburyo bumwe bwo kubigeraho, ni ukumureka akavuga icyo atekereza. Ntukamurakarire cyangwa ngo umuce mu ijambo, ndetse n’igihe yaba avuze ibintu bitagushimishije. Bibiliya igira iti “umuntu wese ajye yihutira kumva ariko atinde kuvuga, kandi atinde kurakara” (Yakobo 1:19; Imigani 18:13). Nanone Yesu yaravuze ati “ibyuzuye umutima ni byo akanwa kavuga” (Matayo 12:34). Nutega amatwi umwana wawe, uzatahura ibintu nyakuri bimuhangayikishije.

Mu gihe uvuga, gerageza gukoresha ibibazo aho kumera nk’utanga disikuru. Iyo Yesu yabaga ashaka ko abigishwa be cyangwa abantu binangiye batanga ibitekerezo, yarababazaga ati “mubitekerezaho iki?” (Matayo 21:23, 28). Nawe ushobora kubigenza utyo mu gihe uganira n’umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu, ndetse n’igihe yaba atanga ibitekerezo bihabanye n’ibyawe. Reka dufate urugero:

Mu gihe umwana wawe avuze ati “sinzi niba Imana ibaho koko.”

Aho kumusubiza uti “ubwo se ni ibyo twakwigishije? Ikikubuza kwemera Imana se ni iki?”

Ushobora kuvuga uti “kuki ubyumva utyo?”

Kuki ugomba kumushishikariza gutanga ibitekerezo? Nubwo uba umaze kumva ibyo avuga, uba ugomba no kumenya icyo atekereza (Imigani 20:5). Ikibazo afite gishobora kuba atari ugushidikanya ko Imana ibaho, ahubwo akaba ashidikanya ku mahame yayo.

Urugero, umwana ashobora kuba ashaka kurenga ku mahame y’Imana arebana n’umuco, maze akagerageza kwiha amahoro avuga ko atemera Imana (Zaburi 14:1). Ashobora kwibwira ati “buriya Imana iramutse itabaho, ntibyaba ari ngombwa ko nkurikiza amahame yo muri Bibiliya.”

Niba umwana wawe ari uko atekereza, ashobora kuba akeneye kongera gusuzuma niba yemera adashidikanya ko amahame y’Imana ari we afitiye akamaro (Yesaya 48:17, 18). Niba atekereza ko amufitiye akamaro, mufashe kumva ko kugira ngo agire imibereho myiza, agomba kuyakomeraho.—Abagalatiya 5:1.

Niba umwana wawe avuze ati “iri dini ni iryanyu, si iryanjye.”

Aho kumusubiza uti “iri ni idini ryacu kandi nawe uri umwana wacu. Ni yo mpamvu ugomba kwemera ibyo tukubwiye.”

Ushobora kuvuga uti “yewe, ndumva bitoroshye. Ariko niba wanze imyizerere yanjye, wagombye kuba ufite ikindi uyisimbuza. None se imyizerere yawe ni iyihe? Ni ayahe mahame wumva ko wakurikiza mu mibereho yawe?”

Kuki ugomba kumushishikariza gutanga ibitekerezo? Kuganira na we muri ubwo buryo bimuha umwanya wo kwisuzuma, akamenya niba ibyo atekereza bifite ishingiro. Ashobora gutangazwa n’uko amahame mugenderaho ari amwe, ariko akaba yifitiye ikindi kibazo.

Urugero, uwo mwana wawe w’ingimbi ashobora kuba atazi gusobanurira abandi ibyo yizera (Abakolosayi 4:6; 1 Petero 3:15). Nanone, ashobora kuba afite umusore cyangwa inkumi yakunze, ariko bakaba badahuje imyizerere. Gerageza gutahura umuzi w’ikibazo, kandi n’umwana wawe umushishikarize kubigenza atyo. Nakoresha ubushobozi bwe bwo gutekereza, bizamutegurira kuba umuntu mukuru.

2. BAKENEYE INAMA Z’ABAKUZE

Muri iki gihe, nubwo abahanga mu by’imitekerereze n’imyifatire y’abantu bavuga ko abana bageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka bagira imyitwarire ihindagurika, iteje akaga kandi irangwa no kwigenga, hari imico imwe n’imwe ibyo bitabamo. Abashakashatsi babonye ko mu mico yo mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, abakiri bato batangira gufatwa nk’abantu bakuru hakiri kare. Bakorana n’abantu bakuru, bagasabana na bo kandi bagahabwa inshingano z’abantu bakuru. Muri ibyo bihugu, imvugo ngo ni “ay’abato,” “uburara n’ubwomanzi” n’“igihe cy’amabyiruka,” ntizibaho.

Icyakora, reka turebe uko bigenda ku bana b’ingimbi n’abangavu bo mu bihugu byinshi baba buzuye mu mashuri, aho nta bandi bantu baba bashobora gushyikirana na bo, uretse urungano rwabo. Iyo bageze mu rugo basanga nta muntu uhari, kubera ko ababyeyi babo baba bagiye ku kazi kandi na bene wabo bakaba batuye kure. Abantu bamarana igihe, ni urungano rwabo gusa.b Ese waba ubona ikibazo ibyo bishobora guteza? Ikibazo si uko urwo rubyiruko ruba rushobora guhura n’abantu babi. Ahubwo abashakashatsi bagaragaje ko n’abakiri bato b’intangarugero bashobora kugira imyifatire mibi, iyo batari kumwe n’abantu bakuru.

Bamwe mu bantu batahezaga urubyiruko ni Abisirayeli ba kera.c Urugero, Bibiliya ivuga ibya Uziya wabaye umwami w’u Buyuda akiri muto. Ni iki cyafashije Uziya gusohoza iyo nshingano iremereye? Birashoboka ko yabifashijwemo n’umuntu wari mukuru witwaga Zekariya, Bibiliya ikaba ivuga ko ari we “wamwigishaga gutinya Imana y’ukuri.”—2 Ibyo ku Ngoma 26:5.

Ese umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu yaba afite incuti imwe cyangwa nyinshi z’abantu bakuru bagendera ku mahame nk’ayo ugenderaho? Ntukarakazwe n’uko afitanye ubucuti n’abantu nk’abo kuko bamufitiye akamaro. Abo bantu bashobora gutuma umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu akora ibyiza. Hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugira uti “ugendana n’abanyabwenge na we azaba umunyabwenge, ariko ugirana imishyikirano n’abapfapfa bizamugwa nabi.”—Imigani 13:20.

3. GUSOHOZA NEZA INSHINGANO

Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, hari umubare w’amasaha y’akazi abakiri bato batagomba kurenza mu cyumweru, kandi hari n’akazi amategeko atabemerera gukora. Ayo mategeko yashyizweho mu gihe cy’ivugurura mu by’inganda ryabaye hagati y’ikinyejana cya 18 n’icya 19, yari agamije kurinda abana imirimo iteje akaga.

Nubwo amategeko agenga imirimo abana bagomba gukora yarinze abakiri bato akaga n’ihohoterwa, abahanga bamwe na bamwe bavuga ko ayo mategeko yatumye abakiri bato batamenya gusohoza inshingano. Hari igitabo cyavuze ko ibyo byatumye abakiri bato benshi “bumva ko bafite uburenganzira busesuye ku kintu cyose, kandi ko bakwiriye guhabwa icyo bashaka cyose, bitabaye ngombwa ko biyuha akuya” (Escaping the Endless Adolescence). Abanditse icyo gitabo bavuze ko iyo myitwarire “ishobora kuba iterwa n’uko turi mu isi yumva ko nta cyo igomba kwitega ku rubyiruko, ahubwo igateza imbere imyidagaduro yarwo.”

Bibiliya itubwira ibirebana n’abantu bahawe inshingano zikomeye bakiri bato. Reka turebe urugero rwa Timoteyo, ushobora kuba yari akiri ingimbi igihe yahuraga n’intumwa Pawulo wagize uruhare rukomeye mu buzima bwe. Hari igihe Pawulo yabwiye Timoteyo ati ‘ureke impano y’Imana ikurimo, ikomeze kugurumana nk’umuriro’ (2 Timoteyo 1:6). Birashoboka ko igihe Timoteyo yari hafi kugira imyaka 20 cyangwa ayirengejeho gato, ari bwo yavuye iwabo agatangira kujyana n’intumwa Pawulo, bityo akagira uruhare mu gushinga amatorero no gutera inkunga Abakristo bagenzi be. Nyuma y’imyaka igera ku icumi Pawulo yari amaze akorana na Timoteyo, yabwiye Abakristo b’i Filipi ati “nta wundi mfite ufite umutima nk’uwe, uzita by’ukuri ku byanyu.”—Abafilipi 2:20.

Akenshi abakiri bato baba bashaka kubona inshingano, cyane cyane iyo bumva ko akazi bari bukore kari butume bumva ko hari icyo barushije abandi. Ibyo bibatoza kuzaba abantu bakuze basohoza inshingano zabo, kandi bigatuma bagaragaza ibyo bashoboye.

Uko wakwitwara muri icyo kigero agezemo

Nk’uko twigeze kubivuga, niba ufite umwana w’ingimbi, ushobora kuba wumva umeze nk’aho uri mu yindi si itandukanye n’iyo warimo mu myaka mike ishize. Izere ko ushobora kumenya uko wakwitwara muri icyo kigero agezemo, nk’uko wagiye ubigenza mu gihe cyashize.

Jya wumva ko kuba umwana wawe ari mu kigero cy’amabyiruka, ari umwanya ubonye wo (1) kumutoza kugira ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu, (2) kumugira inama no (3) kumutoza gusohoza inshingano. Nubigenza utyo, uzaba utegurira umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu kuba umuntu mukuru.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Agasanduku/​Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 20]

“NTA BABYEYI NUMVA BANDUTIRA ABO MFITE”

Ababyeyi b’Abahamya ba Yehova batoza abana babo gukurikiza amahame yo muri Bibiliya, binyuze ku rugero babaha no ku byo bababwira (Abefeso 6:4). Icyakora, ntibabahatira gukurikiza ayo mahame. Ababyeyi b’Abahamya baba bazi ko buri mwana azifatira umwanzuro amaze gukura, akihitiramo amahame azakurikiza mu mibereho ye.

Aislyn ufite imyaka 18, yahisemo gukurikiza amahame yigishijwe kuva akiri muto. Yaravuze ati “kuri jye, idini si ikintu mbamo umunsi umwe mu cyumweru gusa. Ahubwo ni bwo buzima bwanjye. Rigira uruhare kuri buri kintu cyose nkora no kuri buri mwanzuro mfata, yaba incuti mpitamo, amashuri niga n’ibitabo nsoma.”

Aislyn ashimira cyane ababyeyi be b’Abakristo, kubera ko bamuhaye uburere bwiza. Yaravuze ati “nta babyeyi bandutira abo mfite. Nshimishwa cyane no kuba baramfashije nkaba Umuhamya wa Yehova, kandi bakamfasha gukomeza kuba we. Nzakomeza kumvira inama zabo igihe cyose nzaba nkiriho.”

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 17]

Jya ureka umwana wawe avuge yisanzuye

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 18]

Iyo umwana wawe afite incuti y’umuntu ukuze bituma agira imico myiza

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 19]

Iyo abakiri bato bitoje gukora, bibategurira kuba abantu bakuru